#9.20.12

[imprvmnt]

Ever since I was in elementary school I always questioned why I worked so hard. Still tryna figure that out.

I think if I just started working hard and taking things seriously back in the start of high school where grades and things actually mattered then I'd probably know what all this determination is for.

But I started too young.  Like wtf 5th grade hah nerd life. And now I've lost sight of my goal.

Don't take things so seriously early on. Because later on you won't care half as much as you did earlier on.

[imprvmnt]

Tennis/golf/vball/bball

Club

Running

I don't wanna do this anymore. Volunteering at the library on Monday's. Spendng my Fridays after school at the hospitals. And every day in between going home to stuff my face with unnecessary foods that I eat to fill some unknown void that hasn't been figured out until now.

I miss spending my after school hours playing a sport. I miss being on a team. I miss running at full speed and not being out of breath because I've been conditioning to last longer than ten minutes. I miss going home after school longing for a shower cuz I sweat so damn much haha. I miss winning. I miss the rush of adrenaline. I miss being sore and knowing that it's no pain no gain. I miss feeling healthy and having that healthy mind set. I miss BEING healthy.

Instead I'm sitting here on the couch on a Thursday afternoon wondering how much time im gonna waste.

Yeah it's junior year. And yeah I should be focused on studies. And yeah I do play a sport. And yeah captain of it should be enough.

But it's not enough. Playing one sport for the last part of the year is not enough. What about the other half of the year?! I'll be fat by then hah. But reeally this is the first time im only gonna play a sport for one season. And I'm in huge denial.

Every time I see a tennis court i realize I could be at a game right now playing a match. Every time I see volleyball players I feel like if I actually took the opportunity way back when I could've contined with that.

I mean. Now that I think of it. This is the first time. So I guess it's something new. First time for everything. Like instead, I go to the library after school and hang out and get work done pretty early and just discuss the latest irrelevant thing that has  been going on. And then just spend the rest of my night rotting away in my room organizing/disorganizing my clothes. Scrolling through the Internet. And then realizing how much time has gone by since getting nothing done and go to sleep unnecessarily exhausted from doing nothing strenuously physical whatsoever. But the time spent at the library deliberately chatting while getting a fraction the my homework done every few quarter hours I'd say is time I well enjoy. Having no time limit before the library closes since I dont have to worry about getting there straight after any sport and trying to cram all the unknown knowledge into my head is pretty devoid of stress. Gettin to spend however amount of time I want on a particular assignment with plenty of time to go over or start the following one is a new concept for me too. Maybe I'm ment to try this new way of getting through things. With less stress and no racing against the clock. Yeah I'd say my days are pretty chill. Something I'm not used to at all. Maybe i just need to adjust to this new way and stick it through. Even if it's not what I'm used to. And goes completely against my ethics. I should lower down my activity levels maybe? Doesn't sound fun haha. But I guess this is how it feels like to not have so much stress in their lives. If only I could do it and still keep up on my work out grind.

[soulsearcher1613]

I want to feel his arms around me His strength and his touch The safety and soothingness he radiates

I want to feel his lips against mine The warmth of his kiss The feeling that nothing else exists

The freedom to be me without judgement The trust to tell it all without fail The nervousness about being so open with him

The warm numbness that climbs through my limbs The butterflies that tickle my tummy The glowing smile that takes over my face Knowing he’s the one that causes my happiness

[peoplelikegrapes-vav]

ARIES – The Aggressive (April 16)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. mollieollieoieo SCORPIO – The Addict (Nov. 16)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. peoplelikegrapes-vav 9-20-12

[sendtoira]

I

love you.

[evilgoose]

Happy Five Months to my awesome, wonderful, spectacular, extraordinary, beautiful, and the best girlfriend a guy could have. You make me sooo happy. You listen to me, you make me laugh, you care for me, and I know you love me. And knowing all these things makes me happy, amazing, special, and loved. And i hope I do the same, I love you so so so much, forever and always babe <3 9.20.12

[justsweeneytodd]

Closed set. Wahhhh.

[justsweeneytodd]

Cory just walked by me and they keep playing a kurt part and it's beautiful