Wait no let me do that again, first four and last three :-)
Oh my god, you’ll never believe what just happened. So, like I was running late to briefing today, you know the usual, and so I had to stop at that nasty hot dog thing outside the condos because obviously Starbucks was going to be crowded, like I was late I didn’t have any other options. Not the point, anyways, so I was there getting coffee and he gave me a free pretzel while I was there? Like, it’s grosser than all hell but I got free food? This is the best day of my life, call me back. Also if you hurry he might still be in he generous mood. Tell ‘em I sent you. Wink, wink.
♥ : for a loving voicemail
Cody! I was just calling to see what you were up to and if you were having a good day. Hope you are, doll face. I also wanted to tell you you’re the greatest, in case no one’s told you today. And you’re funny and important. Just a reminder in case you forgot. Alright, love you, bye.
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
Just to start this up, I’m really glad I caught your voicemail instead of you. I’m afraid of what you’ll say when I tell you this. So, like, you remember that dog you got me? Yonce? Yeah, well I left for work this morning and halfway through my shift I remembered I left a box of Macadamia nuts on the counter - and like, she’s huge you know? And like I rushed home halfway through my shift to find her throwing up in my bathtub? I mean, at least she had the courtesy to do that, yeah? So, like she’s got a stomach problem now, obviously. And, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for it to happen please don’t kill me.
☆ : for a drunken voicemail
No - No! I’m in li- Oh! Oh! Cody! I didn’t hear the beep! [laughs] Listen, guess what? I met a broadway star! Well, I guess not technically. He’s - oh sorry - he’s just a little performer, but he invited me to this play, right? And guess what, - shush, ma’am - I got thrown out! Apparently, you’re not allowed to touch the performers butts? Anyways, can you pick me up? I don’t know where I am and I lost my cell phone. Please call me back.
☃: for a holiday-centric voicemail
Oh, happy, happy St. Patti’s day! Are you Irish? You seem like you might be Irish somewhere in your family tree. And, if not, who cares, we all could use a real excuse to get drunk, am I right? Anyways, remember to were green, get loads of free pancakes and drink lots of Guinness! Have a great Tuesday!
✉: for a ‘BIG NEWS!’ voicemail
Hey! Big news, actually huge news, no correction it’s the news of the millenium! You’re a huge loser. Ha, sick burn. Bye!
Tell me again what that phone number was? Thank you.