Apr 25, 2015
[text]: I may or may not have eaten the entire gingerbread house we made two days ago.
u fucker
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[text]: I may or may not have eaten the entire gingerbread house we made two days ago.
u fucker
♡: Our muses kiss under a mistletoe. ;)
keep it in your pants brown
BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING BABY DADDY LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT GOING TO BED
i think it’s funny how this could totally either be ic or ooc and i wouldn’t be able to tell bye
Wait no let me do that again, first four and last three :-)
☺: for a happy voicemail
Oh my god, you’ll never believe what just happened. So, like I was running late to briefing today, you know the usual, and so I had to stop at that nasty hot dog thing outside the condos because obviously Starbucks was going to be crowded, like I was late I didn’t have any other options. Not the point, anyways, so I was there getting coffee and he gave me a free pretzel while I was there? Like, it’s grosser than all hell but I got free food? This is the best day of my life, call me back. Also if you hurry he might still be in he generous mood. Tell ‘em I sent you. Wink, wink.
♥ : for a loving voicemail
Cody! I was just calling to see what you were up to and if you were having a good day. Hope you are, doll face. I also wanted to tell you you’re the greatest, in case no one’s told you today. And you’re funny and important. Just a reminder in case you forgot. Alright, love you, bye.
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
Just to start this up, I’m really glad I caught your voicemail instead of you. I’m afraid of what you’ll say when I tell you this. So, like, you remember that dog you got me? Yonce? Yeah, well I left for work this morning and halfway through my shift I remembered I left a box of Macadamia nuts on the counter - and like, she’s huge you know? And like I rushed home halfway through my shift to find her throwing up in my bathtub? I mean, at least she had the courtesy to do that, yeah? So, like she’s got a stomach problem now, obviously. And, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for it to happen please don’t kill me.
☆ : for a drunken voicemail
No - No! I’m in li- Oh! Oh! Cody! I didn’t hear the beep! [laughs] Listen, guess what? I met a broadway star! Well, I guess not technically. He’s - oh sorry - he’s just a little performer, but he invited me to this play, right? And guess what, - shush, ma’am - I got thrown out! Apparently, you’re not allowed to touch the performers butts? Anyways, can you pick me up? I don’t know where I am and I lost my cell phone. Please call me back.
☃: for a holiday-centric voicemail
Oh, happy, happy St. Patti’s day! Are you Irish? You seem like you might be Irish somewhere in your family tree. And, if not, who cares, we all could use a real excuse to get drunk, am I right? Anyways, remember to were green, get loads of free pancakes and drink lots of Guinness! Have a great Tuesday!
✉: for a ‘BIG NEWS!’ voicemail
Hey! Big news, actually huge news, no correction it’s the news of the millenium! You’re a huge loser. Ha, sick burn. Bye!
♫: for a vague voicemail
Tell me again what that phone number was? Thank you.
All of them :)
☺: for a happy voicemail
“Hey, Codes! Bris and I are at the dog park playing with Beau, and I thought you might like to come along. It’s really beautiful outside, and Beau doesn’t look like a rat so.”
♥ : for a loving voicemail
“You’re pretty cool. That time I cradled you while you were drunk didn’t make me want to die so.”
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
“Sometimes I feel like we’re constantly just fighting for Bristol’s attention, and who can be the best brother to her and I think I’m done with that. Like, you can just have her—I’ll back off. But honestly, I just really wish all of us could be close. I don’t have a big family, Olivia is the only sister I’ve ever had, so yeah, I was sort of excited to be a part of the Parrish family. And I don’t know, it’d be cool if you and I could act more like step-brothers or cousins or whatever the fuck we are. But you know, it is what it is. I get that. I'm backing off for good now, seriously.”
☆ : for a drunken voicemail
“My dog is laughing help Bristol gave me stuff.”
✾: for a congratulatory voicemail
“I heard the daycare’s been working out nicely—good job, dude. You deserve this.”
☽: for the final voicemail ever received (think death, etc)
“Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before Bristol found a way to frame you for a crime. You really should have known better than to keep calling her dogs rats, just saying. Anyways, buddy, I’ll be sure to visit you in jail if you ever get taken out of the high security risk unit.”
ϟ: for a break up voicemail
“Our cats’ gay relationship is over. I can’t handle Fitz always wanting to see Paco, jesus.”
♦: for an apologetic voicemail
“Yo, sorry I stole your sister. Won’t happen again.”
♣: for a sad voicemail
“Fitz got fleas… Paco might be infected. In fact, you might be infected. I’m totally clean, but I think I saw some of them go in your apartment. My deepest sympathies.”
☎: for a voicemail not meant for you
“Look, he’s meowing really loudly, Cody is totally going to figure out it was us who took him. Eloise, come on, we need to take him back, we need to return Cody’s ca—Oh, hey there Codes. Elly and I were just… playing sims earlier and yeah I uh, bye.”
☃: for a holiday-centric voicemail
“Hey, Cody! Happy anniversary to the day you got your stomach pumped! Really glad you didn’t die, dude.”
✉: for a ‘BIG NEWS!’ voicemail
“I just won a contest for best dressed at the Taylor Swift concert!! I one a free, private concert by Tay herself, and since Sutton isn’t answering her phone I was hoping you could let her know and tell her she’s invited as my plus one. Thanks!”
♫: for a vague voicemail
“I give up.”
First four if I haven't already sent it I don't remember
☺ — for a happy voicemail
Eleanor: Hey, Codes! I was helping a woman with her groceries the other day and I think a black and white portrait of you was on her mantle...? You look great, by the way.
♥ — for a loving voicemail
Eleanor: Hey, Codes, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I may or may not have gotten into a kinda-sorta bad accident, and just in case I didn’t make it I wanted to tell you I love you.
♚ — for a confessing voicemail
Eleanor: Hey, whilst you left your phone at the ball last night. The coat check girl handed it to me, and I don’t really know why. But, [laughs] nice wallpaper.
☆ — for a drunken voicemail
Eleanor: COOOOOOOODDDYYYYYYYYYYY, I KNOW YOUR SISTER TURNS EVERYONE ON, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE THAT I WAAAANT...I don’t think that’s how the song goes, haha.
i want all of them
Send ✆ for a morning text
i must say i’m a little disappointed its 8 in the morning and u haven’t texted bc u know ur bae and stuff and staring the day with ur texts is the only way i can make it through
Send ♔ for an angry text
stop making fun of my haircut!!!! i’m going to break up with you!!!
Send ♠ for a drunk text
i ahd a bottel of vodka i think and now i’m stuck in my bathtucn u held me pls?????? :(
Send ☏ for a vague text
are dogs lactose intolerant?
Send ⁇ for a worried text
okay but she doesn’t really die right??bambi is going to be okay right???
Send ♣ for a text not meant for you
i bet u would want to go out with me if i was reese witherspoon
Send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent
i think ur dead inside
Send ✺for a saucy text
if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put u and i together ;)
Send √ for a long-winded confession text
ok so i guess since u want to get all sappy i guess i gotta too christ okay well i dont really like much about you other than u give me puppies and ur sometimes nice to me and u sometimes make me laugh and u sometimes make me feel special and sometimes u make cool jokes and sometimes i consider u a friend okay i love u i don’t want to get too sappy sorry pal
Send ☠ for a misguided advice text
maybe u should let me do ur shopping for a while u need a wardrobe spruce up anywho
Send ☢ for a desperate text
come n don’t be made at me i put flyers up and everythingi’ll find her pls love me again this is weird
Send ☼ for a congratulatory text
hey congrats on being my friend!! u made it
winky winky ✆ ♔ ♠ ☏ ⁇
Send ✆ for a morning text
Evie: hi, morning sunshine you were pretty messed up last night so i left some tylenol and a glass of water on the bedside table
Evie: oh yeah and i got all the whip cream you asked for??? you seemed so insistent that you needed some when i picked you up last night i figured i'd go ahead. anyways, have a good day and try to ignore the hangover!!
Send ♔ for an angry text
Evie: you don't get to pretend you understand, okay? you're surrounded by kids every single day and you may think you know what motherhood is, but you don't, you never will. nothing will ever compensate for what i lost, no matter how dang hard you try to make me pretend it never happened.
Send ♠ for a drunk text
Evie: soetimes when carts and i kiss j realize that we kissde the same bo y and i cYR
Send ☏ for a vague text
Evie: i don't even like mustard, stop.
Send ⁇ for a worried text
Evie: i know it's not really my job to notice but i didn't hear any hsm blasting from upstairs which means you probably didn't come home last night and idk i'm a little worried because i called the daycare and you aren't there either and wow where could you even be???
Evie: just please please please call me cody i really don't think you should be this upset about carter breaking up with you.