Discover Top Posts Tagged with #a-spec pride

You know what, I'm tired, I've been watching alot of sitcoms, and recently I've been mulling over my problems with dating (in highschool/middle school). So all you a-spec kids listen up!!!

Dating is NOT Mandatory!!

It is NOT a required part of growing up! It is NOT something you need to do to be a "Real Teenager"! And you are NOT missing out on life for not taking part in it.

Dating and Sex are NOT Synonymous

If the planets have aligned and you are feeling the mythical and elusive Romantic Attraction, you can date that person (or people, idk, you do you) without sex being involved. At. All. You can communicate to the person you're with that you have hard boundaries for that kind of thing. I know it seems like Communication and Boundaries are for 'The Adults', but you deserve to feel safe in your relationship NO MATTER YOUR AGE.

Sex and Intercourse are NOT Synonymous

I know this probably goes against everything everyone has ever taught you, but Intercourse (putting the stick in the hole, per say) is not the end all be all for sex. If you want sex to be apart of your relationship, for whatever reason, A) remember to use safe sex practices (I'll link resources on how to do that below). B) it doesn't EVER have to include penatrative sex if your not comfortable with that. Sex is supposed to be something FUN that you and your partner(s) do together, something that feels GOOD, and If you are feeling uncomfortable, unsafe, in pain, or Triggered. Thats. Not. Good. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE BOUNDERIES! YOU DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

There is NO Special Secret

This one is a little harder to explain. If your like me and have always felt like dating was some kind of Secret Language that all your peers knew, and you missed the lesson on how to 'normal', that isn't true. Romance and attraction look different for everybody; how we express it, how we experience it, and to what frequency we experience it. Everybody is just trying to figure it out, even if it seems like they're an expert. Just because they move a bit faster than you, doesn't make what they feel any less real. (This is a lesson I need to remind myself of Frequently). Alloromantic/allosexual romance (especially in the teen and tween years) tends to move faster (starts faster and sometimes ends faster), but that doesn't make it any less or any more real or valuable then the love you feel. If you don't feel any romantic attraction at all, you are in no way obligated to fake it for someone else's benefit. If you rarely feel attraction, and you feel like you're somehow behind your peers, or you feel like you move too slow for them; you are under no obligation to try to speed up, or rush into something you're not ready for, or even break your own heart because you feel like you need to stay out of it completely. Just because they work a little differently doesn't make your feelings any less important than your peers'.

Now for the Warning

There are going to be people who don't understand why you don't date. They're going to think it's sad that you're single, They're going to think you're lying when you say you're fine, and- in my experience- They're not going to just leave it the fuck alone. You don't have to explain your entire history with romance and/or sexuality to these people. It's perfectly fine to say something like "I'm trying to really focus on school right now and I don't have time for a relationship" or "my parents won't allow me to date" or even something closer to the truth "I'm really just not interested in anybody" (though this one may get you set up with their friends, or friends of friends). If you find someone who you can say "I'm aro and/or ace" or "I'm demi" or just "I don't experience attraction the same way you do" GO AHEAD!! Thats great!! If you are in the position to be out and proud, I'm happy for you. If you want to educate people, educate people!! Just know it isn't a requirement, and you don't have to educate everybody.

You deserve people in your life that respect your boundaries. You are entitled to your boundaries. You deserve to be and feel safe. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be YOU

Now for the Sex Ed I promised-

Here is a link to a Scarlateen on how to use condoms-

Using a condom is generally easier than it looks (especially if you can relax about it), but the first few times, it can be tricky, especial

Scarlateen in general is a great resource, and very inclusive, here is a link to their sexual health page-

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Also the YouTuber Ash Hardel has a series called 'The ABC's of LGBT' that includes videos about a-spec identities and how sex and relationships can work for some a-spec people. Here's a link to that playlist-

#lgbtq community #lgbtq🌈#asexual #aromantic #a-spec pride #a-spec #asexual pride #aromantic pride #demiromantic #demisexual #lgbtq youth #lgbtq advice #i think this post might be a little heavy on the demiromantic focus #it's just such a personal thing for me #ever since inwas little it felt like everybody around me just magically understood dating #their feelings seemed to jump around so fast i couldn't understand it #i got a little contemptuous. it was something that I've wanted for a while now #but still feel excluded from #and it's been kinda hard to unlearn my contemptuous attitudes

demisexual pop punk

#not completely pleased with how this turned out so i might post several variations in the future #demisexual #demisexual pride #a-spec #aspec #aspec pride #a-spec pride #moodboard #pop #punk #aesthetic #mine #aceofcourse #these images were free to use

Thanks to all my followers for helping me get to 200 followers. I figure that most of you followed me for my asexuality shitposts, especially my one hit wonder with the sword and I’m in my pajamas. I hate to disappoint because I’m not actually funny on a usual basis so I wrote a poem about being a-spec. Sorry if your a-spec flag isn’t on here or I messed up the coloring. I’ll see you again at 300.

[image description: two bead ring necklaces. The left hand necklace features beads arranged in colours of the a-spec pride flag strung onto a split ring and connected by four chain loops to a rubber black necklace cord. The right hand necklace features beads arranged in colours of the grey-ace pride flag strung onto a split ring and connected by four chain loops to a faux-leather braided black necklace cord.]

I made two more bead ring necklaces yesterday, using my (very small) stock of grey pony beads: a-spec pride and grey-ace pride.

I really need to get my hands on fancier grey pony beads. I have them in glittery, pearl and metallic in every colour for every pride relevant to me (and many more) but grey. I’m having to use these cheap pony beads, which are okay, but not as nice as the ones pictured here or in my tutorial. My aro, grey-ace and a-spec pride should be as pretty as the rest of my pride!

#stim toys #DIY stim toys #grey-ace #grey-ace pride #bead ring necklaces #beads #a-spec #a-spec pride #a-spec things #grey-ace things #ace-spec things #things I make

y'kno it's the most powerful thing in the world for my orientation to be so non-conformist that it pisses others off that they can't understand it in relation to their own, nor can they define my experiences the way they would theirs

admit it, my orientation makes you uncomfortable b/c it forces you to question how you define yours in a society that incorrectly & harmfully conflates different types of attractions w/one's actions, & why you've defined it that way

my orientation disrupts the system, & i'm proud of that

#ace pride #aro pride #a-spec pride #p