Today is 6 months from the day I woke up out of a coma after two months out ending in one final night of very hard use and a suicide attempt.
I am so grateful today.
Grateful that I didn’t die that night. My sponsor tells me that the nurses told him when he got to the hospital that it was a miracle I had survived and was still able to communicate because I had stopped breathing multiple times over the time I was out.
I’m so grateful to my sponsor for sticking with me through everything. He has been with me through all of my ups and downs of my bipolar disorder and helped me to grow as a person.
I’m extremely grateful to my homegroup and all of the other amazing people I’ve met in the program who I’ve learned from. And to the people who told me they would love me until I could love myself and really meant it.
Six months ago I was miserable. When I woke up I wished I had died. I spent the next 21 days in a psych hospital where I met an amazing woman I believe that god put in my life from the program. She and my sponsor convinced me to go to rehab.
I spent 21 days in rehab where they adjusted my medication properly and my desperation kicked in. I tried my hardest to work the first three steps. By no means did I feel like I had a grip on anything when I left, but I felt like I had something to hold on to.
Every day I don’t pick up is another success in my book and I do that one day at a time by turning my will and my life over to a god of my understanding one day at a time.