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Things people REALLY need to stop fucking doing near me

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING OK IF YOURE A FAMILY MEMBER OR A FRIEND THAT FOLLOWS ME PLS READ THESE IM SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL THIS AND GET TIRED OF CALLING IT OUT

Using AAVE when you're not black. NO. (dont know what that is? look it up.)

Saying you're a sassy black woman ugh

Fetishizing how Asian (usually Japanese) men are androgynously beautiful, more feminine, yet constantly saying how strange/wierd they are when you get to know them.

Using the term "Yellow Fever" im going to puke omfg

Sharing what women you find attractive, bringing their intelligence to into the picture so that I'll approve, then saying "she's not some dumb bimbo" ok don't fucking go shitting on other women by complimenting one. And THEN showing me only sexualized pictures of this so called woman you respect???

Using the term "ratchet" or even "ghetto" to describe something/someone. You realize doing this is describing them as uneducated and primitive in behavior, aka poor people of color. Way to demean some of us that DO live in the ghetto as being unintelligible, worthless, undisciplined, aggressive, unable to have self control, and whatever the fuck your white/western culture has written off as poor and poc behavior.

Slut shaming. If someone wears something revealing or skimpy good for them?? That has nothing to do with you so fuck off stop attacking them for being confident with their body to wear what they want just because you arent?????

Sex shaming. Just because you are uninterested in sex doesn't mean you need to be offended if someone makes a light joke that happens to be sexual or racy esp when it doesn't hurt anyone. Just because you haven't experienced sex or a relationship doesn't mean you need to make disgusted faces or rude comments when someone close expresses that they like sex. Esp being in a queer relationship, you know how often my partner and I are going to get disapproving stares from the world? You're our friend we expect better from you jfc

Asking how it is my partner and I have sex (bc neither of us is cis)... I'm not even going to start with this one. Just no.

Telling me to cover up my body bc either im too fat or what i wear is too revealing. Rarely do I even ask what you think of my body. I only asked you if you liked the clothes combination. That is not a cue to add your two cents to rape culture, gender, and body policing.

Posting pictures of white people with native headdresses. Or Bindis. Really?...REALLY??

Cringing at nearby black people when you yourself are black, then admitting "yeah I'm racist" and thinking that's a valid excuse just because you have labeled them poorer and less cultured. NOPE.

Telling one of our friends that happens to be poorer that what they share is invalid or disgusting. Wow sorry he didn't have the money to share something more luxurious and then demeans themselves by laughing along and agreeing when they're insulted...what do you think that says about them and what they've learned from others? That they're experiences and willingness to share is irrelevant if they're poor so it's not good quality. Actually no we're not sorry how about a big fuck you

When those of us in a friend's group that are poor or poc share our experiences with violence within our cultures and our parents' home countries, that is NOT your cue to just get up and walk away from the conversation, or just start ignoring us. Then when we ask if you have any comments, even if you cannot relate, just shrug it off and change the topic.....wow talk about insensitive. Goes to show how much you have to worry about these things. Or better, goes to show how much you care that your friends don't have the option to just get up and leave the situation.

A QUEER RELATIONSHIP IS NOT LIKE A FUCKING CIS HETERO ONE OK JESUS FUCK UGH. Don't you fucking dare say "you keep complaining, it's not like we straight people have it any easier, it's not like straight relationships don't have problems" I DIDNT FUCKING SAY THAT IM JUST SHARING THAT UNLIKE YOU, I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY ASS BEING HARASSED ON THE STREET OR DIRTY STARES WHEN I JUST WANNA HOLD HANDS. GODDAMN. (And i didnt even mention the "unlike you" part when expressing this.)

Don't ask or make a joke about "who wears the pants" in my relationship. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY IT THAT STATEMENT IS REALLY FUCKING DEMEANING STOP also it misgenders us both stopstopstop

When my partner comes over PLS STOP MAKING GENERALIZED AND BLATANTLY RACIST COMMENTS DIRECTED AT ASIAN CULTURE AND PEOPLE just bc he's asian doesnt mean that's all he knows???

BICULTURALISM SUCKS OK BEING BICULTURAL MEANS TO ME THAT IM NOT WHITE ENOUGH TO PPL HERE AND IM NOT LATINA ENOUGH TO MY FAMILY APPARENTLY EVEN THE LANGUAGE I SPEAK WILL GET ME A "WE SPEAK ENGLISH HERE " OR A "STOP BEING WHITE DO YOU HATE YOUR OWN CULTURE?" IM SORRY I CANT EXPRESS MYSELF WELL IN SPANISH IM SORRY I WAS RAISED IN THE US IM SORRY I WAS SHELTERED SO I DONT ACTIVELY KNOW 300% OF MY OWN CULTURE AND HEIRITAGE????

ALSO JUST IN GENERAL STOP TELLING PEOPLE "why do i have to learn ___ or try to pronounce your name cant you just speak english or have an english name" DO YOU KNOW HOW GROSS AND COLONIAL AND WHITE YOU SOUND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PPL FEEL PRESSURED TO NOT USE THEIR BIRTH NAME BC THEY FEEL BELITTLED?? NO FUCK YOU ENGLISH IS NOT A DOMINANT OR BETTER LANGUAGE HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING TRY TO ACTUALLY LEARN FROM US OR PRONOUNCE OUR NAME, IT'S ALWAYS US THAT HAVE TO ADAPT TO YOU

Do NOT compare me to my father. I've realized I haven't been bullied in years at school and now I know why. Bc the strongest abuse I suffer (and still do) is at home. He's emotionally and mentally abusive and I get triggered for neglect so please please please stop telling me I need to forgive him bc I won't. Esp with religious bullshit about forgiveness. It is a choice to forgive. I CHOOSE NOT TO.

When someone shares that they have been abused or have been in a situation where their identity has lead them to be belittled (and this was about a police report and a violence threat that the police ignored bc the person needing help was a poc), don't fucking go "oh hey well I've had___ happen to me. You with racism, me with sexism, haha all the same, wow this world right?" ... why would you EVER think this is an okay thing to say

If you weren't privileged when you were younger to share with the group when we're talking about our favorite cartoons in the early days, don't make it so that no one cares about your experience. Aka don't go doing passive aggressive shit that makes everyone not able to enjoy the conversation anymore. Don't exclaim that "unlike all of you, i didn't have tv, ugh can we change the topic?" for the 4th time when we've already acknowledged this, but we're going around so that everyone gets a chance to share their experience?? Don't interrupt or talk louder when the quietest or most anxious person is trying to share?? Your rudeness makes us care that much less about what you have to say

For that matter, when I'm trying to share something that happens to relate to a fandom or something you don't like or care about, don't fucking rudely interrupt me by saying "if you talk about this one more time im going to leave" like wow have you ever heard of being polite and giving each other a chance or at least respecting each other's interests????

If you've had a bad experience that you brought upon yourself STOP BRINGING IT UP PASSIVE AGRESSIVELY AS IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT BUT NOT??????????

If you ask me for advice don't fucking argue with me on why it won't work. Just reject it politely or something jfc don't fucking take out your anger on me just bc you cant resolve a problem.

DONT BE RUDE TO YOUR PARENTS (WHEN THEY DONT DESERVE IT) NEAR ME OR AT ALL IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A DICK i s2g they're not there to serve you they are people too why can't you see that???

DONT PUT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF FAMILY FEUDS as a friend this is really fucking uncomfortable and none of this is my responsibility

When I share that I can't do on-the-street activism but I've done other things I find important, don't rudely dismiss it or pretend it's interesting bc it's really obvious you don't care. Do not, afterwards, ask if I know what's going on in other countries and how their struggles and fighting are "TRULY IMPRESSIVE" guess what that will do nothing for me ok I'm not there, I'm trying to resolve and help out with the smaller things with my schedule and life. I'm a minority on so many levels do you even know how hard it is to be an activist that deals with things first-hand?? (aka all this bullshit ive listed above) it isn't miniscule okay it's rEALLY HARD TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU CAN ONLY DO PERSON-TO-PERSON ACTIVISM DON'T BELITTLE ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT

ALSO ON THE WHOLE ACTIVISM THING DONT ACT LIKE AS A WHITE PERSON AND ACTIVIST ALL THAT MATTERS IS EQUALITY AND GAY RIGHTS AND BLACK OPRESSION GUESS WHAT INTERSECTIONALITY EXISTS OTHER MINORITIES EXIST WE'RE NOT INVISIBLE STOP BELITTING MY PROBLEMS BC OTHERS' "ARE WORSE"

Using the words fat as a demeaning term is really fucked up and you need to STOP

Using abelist slurs like r****d (the r word) IS NEVER OK WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE KEEP LETTING THIS PASS OR SLIP BY IT'S NOT A LIGHT HEARTED OFFENSE IT'S JUST FUCKING BAD AND NEEDS TO BE CALLED OUT

DONT GET ALL PISSY FOR BEING CALLED OUT. DON'T ACT ALL OFFENDED BC I HURT YOUR FEELINGS. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT

THAT GOES FOR WHEN IM LIKE OH GOD WHITE PEOPLE AND YOU USUALLY SAY "hey, I'm white! :( " YEAH IDGAF I STILL DISLIKE WHITE PEOPLE EVEN IF YOU FINALLY GET WHY AND YOURE ALL LIKE "now you're just making me feel bad for being white" GUESS WHAT YOU'RE MAKING THIS ABOUT YOU AND THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU. GOD.

Just bc you're white and think Henna is pretty and kind of know about it doesn't mean you can just own a kit and do it yourself for looks

SKIN TONE AND WHITE PASSING. JUST BECAUSE IM OUT ON THE STREET AND IM WHITE PASSING DOESNT MEAN COMPLIMENT MY SKIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT OK. WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS NON-CONSENSUALLY SKIN BLEACHED AND IM NOT HAPPY THAT IM WHITE PASSING. THAT GIVES YOU NO GREEN LIGHT TO GO SAY "Wow I would have never thought of you to be Mexican, you look more [INSERT EUROPEAN/WHITE ETHNICITY THAT HAPPENS TO SPEAK SPANISH], like beautiful in that [WESTERN IDEAL] sense." GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A FORK

MORE ON SKIN TONE DONT GO GUESSING WHAT ETHNICITY WE ARE BY OUR SKIN TONE THIS IS NOT A FUCKING GAME.

LASTLY ON SKIN TONE HOW DARE SOME OF YOU THINK "Wow you're Mexican? You speak english so WELL and you don't ACT like other Mexicans, haha! Wow!" IS A FUCKING COMPLIMENT

MEXICAN DOES NOT MEAN SOMBRERO MUSTACHE MARACAS PONCHO BEER DONKEY BURRITO TACO ~SUGAR SKULLS~OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU PEOPLE KEEP DRAWING OR DEPICTING US WITH GOD I AM GOING TO FUCKING SHIT ON YOU

YOU USE SUGAR SKULLS ONE MORE TIME TO SEEM HIPSTER OR COOL OR SOME SHIT I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE

ALSO IF YOURE A HIPSTER OVERALL JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME youre not better than anyone go away

GAY MARRIAGE IS NOT SOLUTION TO ALL QUEER PROBLEMS ALSO NOT ALL QUEERS ARE THE SAME WE'RE NOT ALL EQUAL/THE SAME ASSIMILATION IS GROSS STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSAPTASTJ

STOP ADDING RACIST HUMOR TO POSTS LIKE IF THERE'S A COSPLAY COUPLE THAT HAPPENS TO BE BLACK DONT GO MAKING THEM A LITTLE SONG OR MANTRA OR COMMENT RELATING BACK TO "HOODLUM CULTURE" OR "RATCHET GIRL" OR "GHETTO" HUMOR IT'S DISGUSTING

Don't associate beauty with whiteness i will physically cringe and make sure you see it

If I just told you I'm atheist, don't go and say try to argue with me ok? I don't want to say anything offensive or hurtful or insensitive, but if you cant respect that I think differently you're really pushin' it.

If someone prefers a mix of pronouns please take your literature rules and writing bullshit elsewhere ok? Language is as human-made as anything else, so it does not rule above this person's identity. All they want is acknowledgement. There's no rule to gender. Go away.

Not all trans* people fall into the category of "born in the wrong body" so stop assuming things about their body overall.

For that matter, when you find out im intersex that's not your cue for your opinion of my body (aka ive been told to hide this fact, to let people assume im female because i was afab, been told i dont LOOK intersex, etc etc)

When you talk to me online do NOT go off and get distracted only to reply every 15-20 minutes without saying brb do you know how rude that is??? Do not make me wait. Do not make me wait if you wanna watch something and suddenly youre busy and you make me wait for half an hour. I AM MAKING TIME FOR YOU AND I EXPECT YOU TO SHOW ME THE SAME RESPECT. Do NOT just write "ok" or be passive by not wanting to reply when you very well asked if anyone was online. Taking 15 minutes to say "idk" or "i dont really care" when I ask how you are or your opinion on something is belittling. It shows me you don't care to talk to me, and gives me no reason to give YOU any of my attention.

And when the above happens, don't go complaining that no one talks to you. Trust me, some of us try really hard. You can't be selfish and keep taking, show you care, SHOW SOME INTEREST if you want to be talked to. Otherwise, stop complaining that you're lonely or have nothing in common. At least TRY jfc

Don't talk to me online or in person if all you have to say every time is a complaint of some sort. It gets old really fast. Same with gossip. Esp when youve shown me you have no interest in my sharing of anything. That unless the conversation is about you, you don't care to talk to me.

Don't take up the whole conversation with some objective topic that you very well know no one else can join in. Don't demean emotional or passionate topics. Don't demean feminine topics. BEING EMOTIONAL AND PASSIONATE AND FEMININE AND HAPPY IS NOT A BAD THING WE DONT NEED TO JUSTIFY OUR LOVE FOR WHAT MAKES US HAPPY TO YOUR MISOGYNISTIC OR MACHISMO BULLSHIT

if someone wants to share something like food they really like but you dont know if you will like it or not, do NOOOOOT make faces and gagging noises and spit it out and stuff. Oh my fucking god do i even have to go over how fucking rude and horrible that is why the fuck would you do that, even if you didnt like it, you did NOT have to do that ok fuck you bc that person is trusting you that much less

reVERSE RACISM IS BULLSHIT

not all oppression comes from money MARXISM IS NOT THE PEAK OF SOLVING OPPRESSION OK CAPITALISM IS NOT THE CAUSE OF ALL HATE OMG STOP IGNORING INTERSECTIONAL IDENTITY POLITICS jesus just because it's on a smaller scale at times doesn't mean it's less important

Dont act like youre too scared to even speak to me be you fear you'll say something wrong. How about do your fucking research and don't say ignorant shit you know nothing about. K? ok

I DONT WEAR MY CLOTHES OR MAKEUP FOR YOU GTFO

If im attacked on the street (wolf whistling, cat calling, glared at for my queerness or fatness) do NOT tell me to prevent it next time bc i provoked it and need to stop being so revealing. How about next time YOU STAND UP FOR ME

don't talk about dieting in terms of health youre still not changing the root of what youre actually trying to say you fatphobic asshole

FATPHOBIA IS REAL

MY GENDER IDENTITY IS REAL

When i take a break from the internet and helping others THAT IS NOT YOUR SOB STORY INVITATION INTO MY ASKBOX dont come to me saying youre so sorry you ever bothered asking for help and you'll never talk to me about needing help again STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT YOU ALL I SAID IS I NEED ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT I NEED MY SPACE gOD

I cant solve your life so if i say go get professional help THAT'S IT ASIDE FROM BEING BY YOUR SIDE AND TALKING TO YOU IM SORRY I CANT DO MORE SO STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO GET HELP

DONT ASSUME IT'S OK TO USE FEMALE PRONOUNS W ME just because you assumed im female or read to be feminine.

On days where I feel more feminine, that doesnt mean i finally "accepted that I AM female"

DONT BELITTLE ME "BECAUSE I HAVENT LIVED ENOUGH TO EXPERIENCE TERRIBLE SHIT" IM NOT SHELTERED. JUST BECAUSE I DONT HATE EVERYONE LIKE YOU DO DOESNT MEAN IM NOT EXPERIENCED OK THE DIFFERENCE IS IM JUST NOT A RACIST QUEERPHOBIC SLUT-SHAMING FUCKALL

Last of all, one that's always hard to write about: PLEASE DON'T CORNER ME WHEN IT COMES TO ATTENTION. One of my flaws is that I like to make sure everyone is okay before myself. I've given you all great amounts of attention. So when I finally decide to focus my attention on what makes me happy aka my own at, my relationship, and my own projects, that's not your cue to lash at me. Some of you have expressed feelings of jealousy because I don't give you as much attention as I used to. That's because if the topic wasn't about YOU, you never bothered talking to me. I'm always the one reaching out. You wonder why I'm always the one having to organizethings and call an contact everyone. I actually try to keep in contact. And little by little the rest of you have angered me by not doing the same. Whether it's not bothering to reply in chats until you feel like it (there's a difference between no pressure and just replying with two words every 20 minutes) or saying you're not good at talking in groups yet never bothering to show up when we've talked about trying to work on feeling connected w everyone. I've done my best. I'm tired. I'm sick of feeling like im begging for scraps of attention. If our friendship means anything to you, don't corner me by only wanting to talk to me alone either, since im trying to keep up with everyone. Sometimes it's doable. Sometimes I'll ask you to join me with other conversations so i can give everyone equal attention. Don't take this by using the time to complain or talk about the same topic you brought up 7 times. Don't take it as me ignoring you and just go quiet and not say anything for the rest of the night. Don't pick topics that only two people can engage in and then shut everyone else out. Don't back out bc the topic isn't specifically to your liking. WHY CANT YOU ALL JUST HELP ME MAKE THIS WORK???? PLEASE??? It'snot that hard. I'm not your emotional dumpster or your gossip friendly listener. I have my own life rn and I always will. Attention to it shouldnt leave me feeling bad or neglectful. Just, give your part, that's all I ask.

There is way more, but this is all that's been pouring out of my head these days

I love you all, family and friends. But this shit is not justified. It makes others feel bad, it makes others not trust you or want to share things with you, it makes others' experiences feel belittled. Just... don't be an asshole for godsake.

And if you read these and found one that directly addresses you, feel free to openly talk to me about it. This is not some passive aggressive post. You know very well who you are. And there are things you need to work out, as does everyone else (myself included.)

Take care everyone, you have two weeks until I come back home. Til then, enjoy your pondering.

#aamoeba

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