a/n: This short series is for @allisonbaelfire’s writing challenge! Thank you for creating this fun challenge and letting me join! Also, this is just the prologue, so don’t worry; Steve is coming, ladies and gents! <3 And Liam Murphy is just a dude I came up with to tell this story - he’s not in any other Marvel movies or anything. I just made him up.
Also, this story is very dear to my heart. In fact, it leaves me completely vulnerable and honeslty I’m a little apprehensive to share. A couple of years ago I was in a very abusive and controlling relationship – hence my inspiration for the character of Liam. But I think I needed to tell my story to help others. Just because you might not get bruises or get tossed around physically by a guy doesn’t mean he isn’t abusive – if he doesn’t respect you and willingly (and knowingly) goes against everything you stand and ask for, then it’s abuse. If he doesn’t treat you well, it’s abuse. If you find yourself plummeting into depression and stress and anxiety because of him, it’s abuse.
Remember, you deserve someone like Steve Rogers. Not Liam Murphy.
summary: Reader is in an abusive relationship with a man who makes it his sole priority to violate her boundaries. As the relationship wears on, Steve is your confidant, your closest and dearest friend. You had known each other for many years, since the first days he had awoken from the ice. You confide in him with everything and Steve cherishes your friendship – but when will you learn that you’re worth more than a selfish man who can’t respect you? When will you realize that America’s hero, Steve Rogers himself, is waiting for you?
word count: 912 (revised)
warnings: abusive relationship, angst, a Steve-less beginning D:
music: Loki’s Lie by Patrick Doyle
PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4
When you had first met Liam Murphy, you were naïve and brimming with the hope of a girl who stilled dreamed of a fairytale love. But you failed to see the wolf beneath the wool of the sheep. You were charmed by his humor, his boyish grin, and his ability to open you up in a way that made you feel like he knew you. You were sure you were in love, sure that he could be the one – the man you could live out your life with, the one you could overcome the world with. However, as your neared spending half a year with the man by your side, you found yourself lost in his deception.
Before he had conned you into his facade, you held fast to what you wanted. You were uninterested in a relationship solely focused upon the physical realm of intimacy. You wanted to get to know the man you'd marry without being swayed by lust or desire. From the failure of other's relationships, you knew that couples who founded their love upon the those aspects never lasted. When your body became frail with age or something in in your physique altered, there was nothing to fall back on. There would be no foundation of earnest, true love. Just a shallow attachment; a silly infatuation. You wanted to be sure that he loved you for your mind, heart, and soul – not just a temporary state of appearance.
Likewise, you found the older practice of courtship to be more appealing to you. Love wasn't only made up kisses and tender touches, but of words and experiences shared; the way your souls thrived together. You wanted to wait for marriage before becoming intimate and you wanted to wait for a mature relationship before you offered your lips to a man. You wanted to cherish your "I love you" 's. You wanted to be sure you loved someone enough to wait and most importanly, that he loved you enough to respect that.
That's why when Liam slowly began to turn the tables on you and one day, when you looked up from your handfuls of pretty words and hollow apologies he had offered over time, you found the world around you greying and dimming. He had became the man you had always feared you would get involved with- or moreso, simply revealed who he truly was. You were too stunned to fight back. His promises to respect your opinions faded so smoothly into condemnation and manipulation, it exhausted you to even attempt to stand up for your convictions. He was tired of being unsatisfied. Where he had once promised to be patient, he was now forcing you to yield.
You were being suffocated.
For several months, the charade of laughter and pure intentions was kept flawlessly. You believed every apology with eager acceptance, your good natured heart offering him far too many chances. You gave a little up of yourself every day for the man, blinded by his crocodile tears and moved by your own compassion to overlook his habit of inching beyond your boundaries. As the months passed, his innocent façade slowly transitioned into one of controlling oppression. Despite your growing attempts to stand up for yourself, the guilt he shoveled upon your heart made you rethink every boundary you had set for yourself.
Were you asking too much? Expecting something unrealistic? Did he keep inching forward because you gave him leeway to do so? Or was he just relentless?
He forced you to hold his hand, even when you just needed a minute to yourself. No matter when or where, he feigned hurt when you didn't sit next to him or stay by his side – and the next time you were alone he would furiously condemn you for it. When you did sit next to him, he placed his hands wherever he pleased, knowingly disregarding your discomfort with being touched like a pet.
In the last few weeks, he had become dangerously dominant. He squeezed your arm too tightly when walking next to you, held your body in whatever way satisfied him, and became temperamental when you fought him on it. He ridiculed your desire for purity and restraint. Whenever you confronted him, he would quickly turn his tears on - and once the situation was back in his favor, he could turn them off.
Now, nearly seven months later, you were in the darkest pit you had ever been in. Under his thumb and his subtle, yet destructive control you now squirmed with despair. You lived every day with a looming feeling of disgust for yourself. Somehow in the span of six months your self-worth had plummeted, where as it was once healthy. Over time, Liam's compliments and his reassurances over your appearance and your personality faded into condemning remarks of your shortcomings.
Every minute of the day your thoughts were consumed of him – but they weren't thoughts of adoration. You now dreaded seeing him, dreaded his shallow conversation, dreaded his disrespect for your own convictions. You were sick of feeling like a pet, like no more than a pleasure for his own sexual instincts. You wanted a friend, a man who would show his love for you with respect and understanding. Liam had completely ensnared you with pretending to be such a man - and now you were caught in his elaborate web of lies, tortured by guilt.
This is part of a writing challenge by @allisonbaelfire
Summary: Pietro interrupts your quiet reading time and you can’t help but snap at him.
Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader
Request: /
Warnings: probably sexual tension and Pietro lowkey being a dick and interrupting your reading time
Word Count: 657
It was a quiet day at the Avengers compound, everyone was happy that there were no missions, no people in danger, which allowed them to wind down and relax.
While Steve and Bucky decided to spend the day catching up with the modern world, Tony locked himself inside his lab and Wanda binge-watched Netflix, you settled down in the huge living room, your nose in a book, hot cup of tea sat down on the table next to you with soft music playing in the background. You truly enjoyed this day off, having no tasks or responsibilities for once and just being able to actually do whatever you want. Lost in thoughts you didn’t notice the Sokovian speedster enter the room, only feeling the rush of air as he ran past you.
“So, how are you doing on this wonderful and beautiful day?” Pietro plopped down next to you, causing you to bounce up and down.
“Fine,” you mumbled before turning your attention back to your book, eyes scanning over the words and sentences.
“What are you reading?”
Wordlessly you held up your book, showing him the cover and letting him read the title before lowering it again. The moment was followed by several minutes of silence, only interrupted by you turning a page until Pietro decided to speak up again.
“What’s the book about? Are you enjoying it?” With a sigh you place the book into your lap, keeping your fingers between the pages to return to them soon enough.
“Yes, I’m enjoying the book…” you trailed off, shortly explaining the plot so far before opening your book back again, glancing at the speedster out of the corners of your eyes, seeing as he stayed quiet you happily hummed to yourself, glad to get back to the thrilling plot.
“Okay, so I was wo-“ Shutting your book with a groan you tossed it on the coffee table next to your cup of tea, turning your body towards him.
“Pietro, shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
“Is that a promise, iubire?” Pietro smirked, arm resting on the back of the couch while winking at you.
Resisting the urge to roll your eyes at him you leaned closer, feeling his breath on your skin, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.
“You’ll have to find that out yourself.”
Your plan was to lean back again, grab your book and ignore him for a while, but Pietro was quicker, snapping forward and grabbing your arm to pull you into him. Your faces were only inches apart, eyes trained on each other while your tongue darted out of your mouth wetting your lips. Pietro’s eyes glanced at them, pupils dilating as your faces slowly inched closer to each other.
“-well yea, you’re right, Steve. But maybe (Y/N) can explain that to us, she said she wanted to spend the day reading,” Bucky’s voice echoed down the hallway leading into the living room, interrupting the moment between Pietro and you, causing you to jump apart, your hand quickly reached for your book, opening a random page while the man next to you fumbled with the remote control, turning on the TV so you both looked busy.
“There you are,” Bucky exclaimed while rushing to your side, Steve following close behind, “We’re terribly sorry for interrupting your reading time but we were wondering if you could help us with something technology-related?”
“Sure, what is it?” You smile at the older men after giving Pietro a quick side glance, silently telling him that that was the correct way to break you away from your book.
“You know we, uhhh…hey, (Y/N)?” Steve trailed off, obviously getting distracted by something before he could ask you the question the two super soldiers had been wondering about.
“Yes, Steve?” you look up at your friend, soft smile on your lips.
“You know you’re holding your book upside down, right?”
Status: Incomplete
Pairing: Bucky/Reader
Summary: After trying to organise Pepper’s baby shower, Bucky offers you an insurance plan
Warnings: 18+. Language, later nsfw(ish) - might be actual nsfw.
Word count: 1002
A/N: This is written for allisonbaelfire‘s 6k fc challenge.
Tags: allisonbaelfire jamesbarnesbestgirl
[Masterlist]
You awoke the next morning convinced that you were dying. Everything hurt. You groaned, and rolled over, trying to will yourself back to sleep, back to a time when someone wasn’t smashing in your skull with an anvil. It was no use. This suffering was clearly your punishment for last night’s antics and you were just going to have to suck it up. With another groan, you shuffled forward, eyeing up a piece of paper and a glass of water. You squinted, trying to read the scrawled, messy handwriting in front of you – a note from Bucky, because obviously you needed the memory of him right now. You inwardly cringed, remembering him pushing you away when you’d finally had enough Dutch courage to actually do something about your feelings for him.
You felt like an idiot. What the hell had you been thinking? Of course he wasn’t going to kiss you back. Bucky was gorgeous and charming, he could have any woman he wanted so why the hell had your drunken brain told you that he might have chosen you? Christ, the man’s response to you being asked out was “the fuck?” because he obviously could not comprehend even the idea of someone taking a romantic interest in you.
You stayed cocooned in your bedsheets for a good half hour, hoping that if you just stayed there all your problems would go away when your phone buzzed. It was a message from an unknown number but from the way the message started it was very obviously only from one person: Luke.
Lovely to meet you yesterday. Still fancy that drink? I’m free tomorrow night – let me know. Luke.
A smile formed on your lips, and you found yourself biting your bottom lip. Luke was cute, and sweet and, most importantly, not Bucky. Bucky could get fucked as far as you were concerned. As the others had said – the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. And you were going to get under Luke.
*
Bucky awoke feeling rather better than you did – physically, at least. It was his mental state that was faring much worse. Why had you sent him that text? Just to tell him that you had a date – ruin his hopes and then confuse him by kissing him? What sort of person did that? He was worried. Really fucking worried. He thought something terrible was happening, he thought you needed him but all you needed was to rub in his face the fact that you clearly didn’t need him. You had a date. Probably the man of your dreams and definitely not a deformed one hundred year old who couldn’t sleep at night.
He felt like he was going insane. Since that stupid agreement he hadn’t been able to get you out of his head. Throwing on some clothes, he headed down towards the kitchen in the hopes of finding both food and someone to help him feel a little less crazy.
He was greeted by a cheerful looking Steve and a freshly brewed pot of coffee. “Morning.”
Bucky poured himself a cup and sat down. “Morning.”
“How’s (Y/N)?” Steve had bumped into Bucky on his way to Pepper’s shower the previous night.
Bucky let out a groan.
“That good, huh?”
The brunette ran a hand through his hair. “She kissed me.”
“She what?!”
A faint smile traced across Bucky’s lips at the memory, but quickly disappeared at his next words. “Yeah, right after she told me about her hot date.”
Steve’s face fell, eyebrows furrowing together. “So what did you do?”
Bucky shrugged, looking down at his coffee.
“Buck.”
“She was drunk!” At this, he did look up, hands defensive in front of him, “What was I supposed to do? I told her kissing me was a bad idea.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean about that.”
There was silence. Bucky cursed inwardly. “My response might have been ‘the fuck’.”
“Jeez, Buck.”
“I know.” He groaned. “But why would she say she needed to talk to me just to tell me she had a date and then try to kiss me? It makes no sense!”
It was Steve’s turn to be silent.
Bucky glared at him. “What did you do?”
“Nothing!”
Bucky cocked an unconvinced eyebrow.
“It was Sam, I swear!”
Bucky exhaled slowly, trying to remain calm until he actually knew what Steve was talking about. “What. Was. Sam?”
Steve leant back in his chair, but it was difficult trying to make himself smaller when he had super serum coursing through his veins. “He...might have mentioned to (Y/N) the possibility of...y’know, dating. Other people. Finding a man that’s...not...you...”
There was a sharp intake of breath, Bucky’s fists tightly clenching, causing Steve to wince slightly – preparing for the oncoming eruption. For a fraction of a second everything was still, and silent. And then Bucky’s fists collided on the table, causing the cups to jump. “What the fuck Steve?”
Steve was still trying – and failing – to sink back into his chair. “Sam suggested it! I just agreed...”
“You agreed?!” Bucky pushed himself off his chair, hands splayed across the table. “You agreed that (Y/N) should start dating?” He ran a hand through his hair a few times, trying to calm himself down and muttering under his breath. “Well, she took your advice.”
“Bucky...”
He let out a sigh, talking now more to himself than to Steve. “Then why did she text me?” He fell back onto his chair with a load thud, confusion and defeat washing over him.
“Are you going to talk to her?” Steve asked, although he was fairly sure he already knew the answer.
Bucky shot him a look. “Yeah, I mean, it went so well last time.”
“She did kiss you.” Steve reminded him, unable to keep the smirk completely from his features.
That small smile returned, and Bucky could feel his lips starting to tingle slightly – remembering the feeling of them being pressed onto yours. “Yeah...yeah, she did.”
This short series is for @allisonbaelfire's writing challenge on Tumblr! Thank you for creating this fun challenge and letting me join! :)
summary: Reader is in an abusive relationship with a man who makes it his sole priority to violate her boundaries. As the relationship wears on, Steve is your confidant, you closest and dearest friend. You had known each other for many years, since the first days he had awoken from the ice. You confide in him with everything and Steve cherishes your friendship – but when will you learn that you're worth more than a selfish man who can't respect you? When will you realize that America's hero, Steve Rogers himself, is waiting for you?
warnings: angst, sad Steve, sad reader, mentions of abuse, depression, a little language from angry steve and natasha
word count: 5.2 K (sorry it's long but I couldn't split it up) (revised)
music: Evelyn Goes It Alone by Geoff Zanelli and Jon Brion
PART 1 | PART 3 | PART 4
New York was enchanting when her skies divulged their wintry breath upon the glistening towers of glass that populated the Manhattan area. Twinkling lights that foretold of the coming holidays hung primly from potted trees on every corner and illuminated the windows of every shop. It was almost blissful, even amidst the bustle of the early morning sounds of traffic. Manhattan was waking up to last days of November with punctuality, the glimmer of the festive season putting a cheerful tint to the greying days.
However, even with your love for the winter season and it's celebrations, your heart was downcast. Your mind was heavy with despair over the anxious entrapment which had pushed you into a state of numbness. You mulled over the aching emptiness that rolled around in your gut. You knew the source of your emotions; it was always the same.
As you tried to overcome it, you trod down the iced-over sidewalk, careful to mind your footing. You were headed to S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters for a briefing about the upcoming mission to Germany that the whole team was signed up for. Luckily, it was in January, which meant December was more or less an off-month.
While you were an agent in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s program, you weren't officially an Avenger - which you were secretly grateful for. Being a regular agent meant you stayed out of the limelight, out of the eyes of the public and off the screens of worldwide news. But you did serve a purpose. Whether it was accompanying the team overseas on occasion as their advisor or training new recruits, or even being Agent Hill's stand in from time to time, you held up a large end of the program. You didn't see too much action, though; you found investigating cases, planning the missions, and writing up reports more to your taste. It gave you a chance to put your knack for writing to use, even if it was just for the database. Besides, Fury liked a thorough report.
Nevertheless, your name was on the roster for the trip to Germany after Christmas, which meant you had to be present for every meeting, no matter the unearthly hours Fury and Hill scheduled them. But today to you were a little late, even though the sun was just beginning to peak through streets between the buildings through the thick, snowy clouds. As you shuffled nearer to the headquarters and drank in the drowsy city, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You inwardly groaned.
It's probably Liam.
Without pulling the device out to check, you ignore the vibration and keep walking. You weren't in the mood to speak to him again, especially after last night. Especially after the last week - the last month, really. His controlling schemes had already stripped the joy from your mind this morning and you didn't need a call smothering what hope you had for the rest of the day.
Since you had woken up that morning you couldn't get the words he had condemningly spoken to you out of your head. Your sleep had been restless and light because of the revulsion he made you feel about yourself.
You cleared your throat as the oppressive feeling returned. You tried to distract yourself with the spirit of the season that was draped over the city with nostalgic comfort. But even that beauty was turned sour by the feeling of missing that nostalgia - of missing a time before Liam, before being in a relationship.
Oh, gosh, it was nothing like what you thought it'd be. You wanted to go back to when it was just you and your life with the team, with your friends, with Steve. When heartache was something you experienced once in a while or when your favorite shows took a rough turn. Not something you felt every day.
With the headquarters in view, you crossed the street to your destination. The S.H.I.E.L.D. emblem glinted in the snow-light, making you release a sigh of comfort. Even though the briefing would undoubtedly be boring, you would be with your teammates and be able to spend a few hours with your best friend, Steve Rogers. That was enough to allow a little more hope into your heart. You grasped the frosted handle of one of the tall glass doors and entered into the warm haven of the lobby.
"Good morning, Miss (L/n)." The clerk behind the desk welcomed you in a kind tone.
"Morning, Agent Williams." You replied, forcing a cheery smile.
You stepped into the elevator and rode up several floors, eager to see the friendly faces of your coworkers and the sincere kindness of your team. When the doors glided open with an accompanying ding, you picked up your pace and made your way to Fury's upper meeting room. As you did so, you began undoing all your warm layers. You pulled off your gloves and unraveled the scarf that was snug around your neck. Within moments, you passed by the glass walls of the office and board room, careful to avoid Fury's glance.
However, unknown to you, there was another gaze that settled on you, pensive and full of worry. When he caught sight of you his mind eased a little, but not much. He knew you well enough to know you were only late when you weren't fully yourself, when something was distracting you - which was hard to do to a professional S.H.I.E.L.D. operative. Steve was relieved that you had made it, but when he saw the look in your eyes that you tried to mask, he sighed knowingly. There was usually only one reason your countenance was so repressed.
You opened the door as quietly as you could, but it wouldn't protect you from going unnoticed, especially not when the clock above the holographic screen proved your tardiness. All eyes shifted to you when you entered, although most of them were friendly.
"Well, nice of you to join us this morning, Agent (L/n)." Fury said, obviously a little peeved that they had to wait on you to begin the monologue briefing.
"Yeah, where ya been, Shakespeare? Writing our next play for Germany?" Tony chimed in with his smart remarks, as usual.
"Shut up, Tony." You chuckled as you passed him, smacking the back of his neck with your gloves. Natasha stuck her hand out when you neared her and grasped yours for a mere second as a tender hello. You smiled warmly at her before making your way to the other side of the table. You took your seat between Steve and Clint with genuine delight, their company beginning to free the oppression from your shoulders.
After the two-hour-long meeting, everyone dispersed from the room with solemn excitement. When you reached the hall, Steve kept close to you. You were grateful that he knew you well enough to see that you needed his company. Even though he was unaware of last night's argument with Liam, he knew you weren't alright - and honestly, he figured it had to do something with the dark-haired jerk who treated you like a trollop.
"Were you alright this morning?" He asked, his eyes searching yours when you looked up at him. You knew he was referring to the fact that you were hardly ever late, especially when it had to do with the team.
"Yeah, I just slept in late and couldn't get around very quickly this morning." It wasn't a complete lie; you just avoided giving him the reason behind your hard morning. "I didn't sleep very well last night."
Steve paused for a minute and mulled over your answer, unsatisfied. He knew in the way your tone dipped as you delivered the excuse that something esle was bothering you. He was never one to push the envelope when it came to personal matters, but Steve cared about you enough to push a little more; he wanted nothing more than to help you with whatever had plagued your countenacne and altered your tone of voice.
"Are you sure you're alright? I called you a while before you got here and it went to voicemail." He pressed on with the care of a dear friend, and also with the common sense to know what was going on. It had been the same ordeal almost every weak for nearly three months.
Oh, so it was Steve who called me. Not Liam.
You contemplated whether or not you should tell him why you hadn't picked up. You trusted Steve with everything, but even in his company you felt isolated. You didn't want to talk about Liam, or the argument, or any of it. At least not yet. But the way Steve looked at you made you want to divulge everything to him; his earnest care for you made the words spill from your lips. You let out an apologetic sigh.
"I'm sorry. I got the call but I thought it was Liam, so I ignored it." Your hands dug deeper into your pockets as you spoke. For some reason it embarrassed you to admit it.
"Oh," He murmured, the frustration welling up inside of him already towards the guy who was causing you to become so distant and hurt. "It's okay, (Y/n). You don't have to apologize. Did something happen?"
You let out a curt laugh and shook your head incredulously as the situation from last night dissolved into your mind; the discomfort, the domineering touch of Liam's hands, the derogatory statements that made you comply with his own desires.
"Only what always happens." You said, the emotional exhaustion wearing through your tone of voice even more. It was almost bitter, and it made Steve turn his head and study your features. He felt helpless. He searched his mind for some noninvasive way to help you share whatever was troubling you, whatever it was that Liam had done.
He opened his mouth to reply, but before his words could leave his mouth he was interrupted by Clint, who paused ahead to wait for the two of you to catch up.
"Hey, Tony invited us all to the tower for drinks and sandwiches. Are you two coming?"
Steve's gaze shifted from Clint to you with a questioning expression. For a moment you wanted to beg Steve to just say no and let you have some peace and quiet, but then you thought about the fun times you always had with the team. The jokes, the shenanigans, the gossip. You hoped the laughter would do you good. You gave him a quaint nod with a timid little smile.
"Of course, we'd love to." You said to Clint, who had watched the momentary exchange between you and Steve, smiling to himself. You were so blind to Steve's feelings for you; it was almost endearing.
"We'll meet you guys there." Steve added and pulled a pair of keys out of his pocket. Clint nodded and made his way to the elevator, where Nat was holding the door open for him with her hand. When the door dinged and slid shut, Steve pressed the bright red button, beckoning it to come back up.
"When did you get a car?" You asked with an astounded smile.
"Ah, it's one of Tony's. It's too cold outside for me to ride my Triumph, so he's lending me one of his many automobiles." Steve's eyebrow quirked up and his lips donned a crooked smile. You couldn't help but laugh. The thought of Steve Rogers, the WWII veteran who drove a vintage motorbike, driving one of Stark's million dollar cars that flaunted his vast wealth was nothing short of hilarious - and a little odd.
When the elevator returned and the metal door slid open, Steve let you enter the elevator first with a gesture of his hand. When he followed suit behind you, he pressed the button with the glowing star. The ride down was short and quiet, but it was never awkward with Steve. You knew he was worried, but you also knew he respected you enough to wait until you were ready to tell him. You appreciated it deeply. But you were oblivious to the fact that Steve's heart was racing with the twinging anger he felt for Liam. He was tired of seeing you this way, so unhappy, so unlike yourself.
Steve secretly shared your wish to jump back into the past before you committed yourself to the guy who didn't seem to understand the word "respect". But just like you, Steve had regrets of his own.
Steve regretted not telling you the way he felt about you years ago. You were the first face he saw when he woke up out of the ice, his first dose of reality. When Peggy had died, you were there every hour of the day for him. You understood that he had lost not only his long-ago love, but his last tether to the world he knew before he was submerged in the ice.
Before she died, Steve had told Peggy about you, about how he might've found a gal who could make him happy. And now, nearly four years later, you were in the hands of another man and he had to watch you crumble beneath his thumb. He could kick himself for letting you slip through his fingers; it was bad enough that you weren't happy, but knowing that his hesitation had caused you to turn to the wrong sort of guy nearly broke him.
When the doors opened, you both shuffled out and prepared yourselves for the blast of chilly air that would meet you when you stepped outside. Steve opened the door for you in his genuine gentlemanly manner. You followed him out into the street, where he led the way to a metallic blue Porsche that glimmered in the mid-morning light.
"Steve, you've got to be kidding me. He's letting you drive this?" You asked, absolutely stunned that Tony had let such a beautiful car escape his garage. You gestured to the machine as if it was a fragile thing plated in gold. When Steve clicked the unlock button, it beeped melodically.
"Trust me, I was just as surprised as you are. I guess being on the same team comes with benefits." He laughed, opening your door for you and revealing the lustrous interior. When you climbed inside tentatively, he shut the door and made his way to the other side of the car. He, too, climbed in the vehicle with cautious ease. You both buckled up and Steve revved up the engine. It roared to life with a rumbling, satisfying sound.
As he pulled out onto the road, you wondered if you should talk to him about Liam. You knew he was concerned, he always was, but you never wanted to burden him with your own problems. It was your own fault that you were in the situation you were and you felt terrible that your conversations mostly consisted of the overbearing relationship you'd gotten into.
You decided to keep your mouth shut and let the ride to Stark Tower go in peace. You propped your arm up against the door and let your cheek rest on your fist. In the silence, you were far from peaceful. It only made the emotions and negativity circulate more chaotically in your mind.
Steve noticed your silence and knew very well why you kept your mouth shut. Since you had been with Liam, you had developed the habit of feeling like a burden. It was something Steve had to help you overcome very often. He still tasted the question on his tongue that he had been on the verge of asking before Clint had unknowingly interrupted him. He moved it around his mouth, wondering if he should speak about Liam. When he thought about the predicament he had gotten himself into by being quiet before with you, he decided to speak.
"(Y/n), I know what you're thinking. And you're not a burden. You're my best friend and I want to help you with whatever it is, if you're ready." As Steve spoke and his words registered within your heart, you were in awe. You looked at him, stunned and relieved in the same breath.
How had he known?
"You shouldn't be afraid to talk to me." He added, glancing from the road in front of him to you. He was serious and sincere in all the ways you'd become unfamiliar to with Liam. You looked away and stared down at your fidgeting hands. You could feel the tears tightening your throat and the moisture gather in your eyes. It was a few minutes before you could look up and form your words.
"I-I...Steve, I don't know what to do anymore. I can't live like this." You began, your voice already broken and fragile. You would never understand how it wrenched Steve apart from within to see you like this, to hear your beautiful voice so tainted by pain. "But I don't know what to do. I feel like it's me, like I haven't been clear about what I want... Maybe I'm confusing him, maybe I should –"
"No. No, (Y/n). You shouldn't have to keep repeating yourself with this guy. If he isn't sure, then he shouldn't push it anyway. None of what has happened is on you, do you understand?" Steve began, his voice tender and yet stern in a way that made you hear every word he had to say.
"Listen to me. If a guy isn't sure where your boundaries are, it shouldn't be his first instinct to just go ahead and do as he pleases. I've been with you this entire time, I've heard and seen everything you've said and done. You've made yourself very clear since the very first time he asked you out. You can't confuse someone who refuses to listen."
Upon hearing Steve's words, the tears flowed freely from your eyes. You wanted so badly to be free of this whole relationship, this whole oppressive fiasco that you could just scream. You felt like your heart had been torn from your chest and it made you want to break something and watch it shatter. You wanted to sob, to scream until your throat was raw, to release the tension and the burning horror that had latched itself to your heart.
Unwillingly, a sob escaped your lips and the tremors set in all throughout your body. You clamped your hand over your mouth, terrified of embarrassing yourself and making a spectacle. But the bondage was just too much. You had been ignored, disrespected, and over-ridden for so long you felt you were just a prisoner in your own life – nothing belonged to you anymore.
"Oh, (Y/n)..." You heard Steve murmur and you could feel the car slowing down. He pulled off the road and into the parking lot a little café a few blocks from the Tower. When he put it in park and looked over at your pitiful state, he could feel his own tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't bear to see you like this, in so much torment. He reached over and placed his hand on your forearm, rubbing it gently with his thumb. His intentions were so pure that it comforted you, unlike Liam's sexual and invasive touch. "I'm so sorry."
You shook your head slightly as you gained more control over your tears. Although they still glided down your cheeks and your body still shook slightly, the hiccups in your throat faded.
"You shouldn't be the one to apologize, Steve." You said and rested your hand over his and patted it gently.
You had no idea what he truly meant by that apology. Although he was truly sorry that you had gone through this, he was even more apologetic to the fact that he hadn't made his love for you clear months ago, before any of this began. If he had, perhaps all of this could have been avoided. He knew the relationship was your choice, but he also knew the deception you were ensnared in and that your good-natured heart was too kind to end it on your own.
He would never interfere in a way that would jeopardize the relationship, nor would he admit his feelings to you now, when you were trying to find a way to work it through with Liam. He would continue to be your friend, something he savored above all else in his life.
"What happened, (Y/n)?" He asked, referring to the incident you had eluded to earlier in the headquarters.
"We had another fight last night," You began, folding your hands together over your lap, preparing yourself to go back into your memories and awaken all the discomfort that would come from doing so. "We had gone to a restaurant to eat dinner with some of his friends. When we sat down to eat, he sat really close to me and put his hands around my waist and on my legs. Throughout the whole meal he kept adjusting himself and pulling me closer, rubbing me, and doing as he pleased,"
"Which, it's fine to sit next to me, that's not what bothered me at all. But I don't see why we couldn't just sit together and focus on the meal, on his friends. But instead the entire evening I was terrified of where he would place his hands next. It embarrassed me to sit next to him, that the couple we were eating with might think ill of me for letting him touch me. Again, it was all about how he could use our time together to touch me, not just enjoy each other's company,"
Steve closed his eyes for a second as he clenched his jaw. A saddened frown tipped his lips downward as he listened to all you were saying. It hurt him to hear this, to envision you spending an evening being mistreated and uncomfortable, squirming under Liam's control. Although the world and maybe even people like Tony might see Liam's actions as conventional behavior for a relationship, it was a complete violation of what you had asked from Liam from the start. And even Tony would respect a woman's wishes in that regard if she made it clear to him.
You wanted to remain modest and not have a man's imprints all over you before you were sure of him, sure of your future together. And in some things, even the simple things, to save it for marriage. And, gosh, Steve loved you for that. But his love for you was now fueled into trying to help you overcome and cope with this, to which he was grateful to have the opportunity.
"And as the evening went on, he situated himself differently and expected me to hold him and touch him as he had been doing to me," You covered your face in your hands as you spoke the next words, terrified of what Steve would think of you. "Steve, I can't say it. I'm so ashamed."
"(Y/n), you were guilt-tripped into doing something you were uncomfortable with. You shouldn't be the one feeling terrible about it."
You looked at him, still unsure of how to tell him. When he gave you tender smile and nodded, you felt the words leaving your mouth without refrain.
"When I wouldn't reciprocate, he turned and looked at me like I had slapped him. And I knew that if I didn't comply, there would be a blow-up argument about it later, or even in front of his friends. I knew I would end up feeling even worse about it after being shamed for not doing what he wanted, especially if he did it in public. So I put my hand on his leg, but I kept it there so awkwardly the whole time. I was so disgusted to even touch him, to even sit next to him. I just wanted to go home and- and... I don't even know, Steve. End myself. End the relationship, end it all."
"But that wasn't it, of course. After we left and he was driving me home, he went on about how I never instituted the holding and touching. He said he felt like I was no longer invested in the relationship, that I wasn't interested in him anymore. Which is what he always says! Just so I feel like I'm obligated to do all these things that he wants me to do!" Your tone became agitated as you went on - something snapped inside of you. You wished it would snap more when Liam manipulated you into compromising. You had once thought you were strong-minded, capable of standing up for yourself, especially when it regarded your morals. Now you weren't so sure.
"So I told him that I had made it clear from the start that I didn't want to focus on the physical and that I just wanted to get to know each other's hearts, our souls, not our bodies. I reminded him that I wanted to save so much of that for marriage, even the things that people think are simple. When I started standing up for myself, he accused me of cheating."
This accusation totally stunned Steve. Even the concept of you doing something so rash and unethical was preposterous. And the fact that Liam had accused you of it stunned him even more.
"He what?" Steve managed to say.
"I know," You scoffed, still processing it yourself. "But it made me feel even worse."
"What? (Y/n), you're not the one to blame here. Just because he accuses you of something to cover up his own mistakes doesn't make it true. And I know damn well that Liam knows you'd never do anything like that." Steve's choice of words slightly startled you; he was never one to be colorful on a whim.
Silence fell over both of you for a minute as Steve looked ahead and mulled over everything you had told him. What was wrong with this guy? Was it really that hard to just respect the woman you loved? And that's when it hit Steve. No, it wasn't hard to respect someone you loved. And Liam's lack of respect – or rather his stark opposition to it proved that he harbored no real love for you. Only for what could satisfy his own desires. If Liam did want to love you, he was obviously too entertained by his own lusts to change anytime soon; and you didn't deserve to spend your life waiting for him to respect you.
"(Y/n), you deserve better than this." Was all Steve knew how to say. You looked up at him and smiled, although the weakness in your expression told him you didn't quite believe him.
"Thank you, Steve. For everything. I'm only sorry that I always dump it on yo-"
"No, don't say that. Don't ever apologize for confiding in me. Loving someone means you'll always be there for them, and I'm not going anywhere." Steve tensed as he realized what he said, but relaxed as you didn't catch on or truly understand what he meant.
You nodded and smiled more sincerely this time, so grateful for a friend like Steve who loved you enough to listen. He was the only voice of truth in your life at this point, the only one who could manage to unveil the deception from your eyes that Liam so cunningly put there. Silence fell again and you released a sigh of relief. You felt so much lighter now, so much more free. Even though the disgust and the hurt still lingered, you could overlook it better now. You glanced at the clock that illuminated the stereo system.
"Oh no, we better get to the tower. It's been over an hour since we told Clint we would meet them there." You said.
Steve looked at you questioningly.
"Are you sure you want to go?" he asked, making sure you felt like putting on a smile and being in the company of a larger group.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just don't leave me alone with Tony and Bruce or they'll start talking science. And I don't think I can pretend to understand them today." You joked halfheartedly, but you really were asking Steve to stick by you and be your crutch for the day.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Steve chuckled, understanding your hidden request.
When you reached the top level of Stark Tower, you could already hear Tony and Clint going on about some sort of drinking game. When you both walked through the doorway, you couldn't help but welcome the smile that lit up your face.
"Whoever throws up first has to buy the decorations." You heard Tony slur.
"And compile the playlist." Clint countered, raising his shot glass that glinted with an auburn liquid. His speech was a little more clear than Tony's, but not by much.
"For Pete's sake, you two are already drunk?" Steve asked, taking your jacket and purse and hanging them by the door for you, glancing towards the already inebriated avengers.
"Drunk is a pretty strong word, Grandpa." Tony replied, swaying slightly as he turned around to look at both of you. "We're more so...enlightened." Tony tipped his drink in the air with a dorkish grin.
"Tony and Pepper are planning a Christmas party for this Saturday for the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. operative, as well as a few extra friends. Whoever we want to invite." Bruce explained, a disappointed tint to his voice as he gestured to the two men who were downing shots simultaneously.
"Then they decided to play a drinking game. Whoever loses has to take care of the decorating." Natasha added with a grin on her face that showed a little too much how entertained she was at the two idiots.
"I guess I better invite Liam." You muttered, mostly to Steve, who looked down at you with an apologetic look.
"Wait a second, you're still not rid of that asshole?" Natasha asked, her arms folded and her tone sharp.. Her choice of words made you wince. You weren't keen on calling people names, no matter if they deserved it or acted like it. But that was just Natasha's way.
"Nat-" Steve began to interject, but you spoke up.
"Well, I-...It's more complicated than it seems."
"So, uh, what time do we show up?" Steve asked, trying the lead the conversation in a different direction. He could tell by your change in tone that you were done talking about him.
"Before they started drinking, Tony said something about six or six-thirty." Bruce answered.
The rest of what everyone said blurred out of focus for you. The dread set in all over again. All you could think about now was having to call Liam and tell him about the party. You knew he would come. You knew how he would act. You knew how you would spend the evening wishing it was over. You would be humiliated in front of the team, in front of the entire force of agents. You would be controlled, overpowered, and praying for it to end. You already couldn't wait for the party to be over with.
Status: Incomplete
Pairing: Bucky/Reader
Summary: After trying to organise Pepper’s baby shower, Bucky offers you an insurance plan
Warnings: 18+. Language, later nsfw(ish) - might be actual nsfw.
Word count: 1839
A/N: This is written for allisonbaelfire‘s 6k fc challenge.
Tags: allisonbaelfire jamesbarnesbestgirl
[Masterlist]
A week later found you driving to the restaurant for Pepper’s baby shower, the car filled with decorations and of the course the present – the present that started the whole stupid five year plan. You’d been mainly avoiding Bucky since he’d come to your room apologising – only talking to him when you absolutely had to, and fortunately you hadn’t been called out to any missions. Natasha and Wanda and been begging to know what had happened between you but you’d merely shrugged and called your conversation outside the club a misunderstanding. The less you spoke about it, you found, the less you thought about it. Otherwise you’d spend all of your time over analysing those words Bucky had said to you outside your room that you hadn’t been able to get out of your head. Not with you.
Parking your car, you checked your reflection before gathering your things and tried desperately to forget everything Bucky had said. But what did he mean? Not with you as a friend? Not with you because you can’t look after yourself? Not with you because he was jealous and upset that you had been dancing with someone else? It was all making your head hurt. You let out a frustrated sigh as you climbed out of the car and tried to focus solely on the task at hand: Pepper’s baby shower. You half regretted buying all of the helium-filled balloons as you opened the boot and were bombarded by the damn things. In vain, you tried swatting them away but, of course, they just floated back up again, causing you to curse under your breath.
“You okay there? Need a hand?”
You turned around to see a rather handsome man watching you with amusement. “Pepper’s shower, right?”
Confusion spread across your features. “How did you know?”
“Sorry,” he looked suitably embarrassed, “I’m Luke; Pepper’s cousin. She asked if I could help set up before I’m forced out to let you ladies have fun.”
“Oh, right,” you shook his hand, “(Y/N). I work with Tony.”
“I know,” he replied as he started to carefully bring out the balloons. Noting the confusion remaining on your face he continued, with a sheepish grin, “You’re an Avenger.”
“Right, yeah, yeah.” You could feel your cheeks growing warmer. You cleared your throat, “So, erm, are you local?”
“Used to be,” he replied, holding the door to the restaurant open with his foot so you could walk through with your boxes. “Thinking about moving back though. I just left the army and sort of got roped into childcare by Pepper.”
Hmm, another soldier, you thought to yourself with a slight grimace. “Well, better you than me.” you half joked, the conversation with Bucky springing to mind. Setting the boxes down on a table you pushed such thoughts out of your head, instead focusing on unloading the various decorations and table cloths out of your boxes.
“You don’t like kids?”
You shrugged, trying not to think about how sincere Bucky looked during your conversation, the conversation that started all this mess. “Never really thought about it,” you lied before trying to change the subject. “This isn’t too much, is it?” You asked, eyes scanning the various balloons and table toppers.
Luke shook his head, admiring all your hard work. “The place looks great.” He cocked his head to one side, eyeing you up and down appreciatively, “Almost as good as you.”
“I-wait, what?”
He was clearly amused by how flustered you looked. “How about a drink sometime?”
“Erm, with you?”
Luke chuckled, “Preferably.” There was a pause, “Unless you’re with someone, or just not interested.”
“No, no, I mean, yeah. A drink sounds great.”
He grinned, looking rather pleased with himself. “Great.” He pulled out his phone and opened the address book before handing it to you. “I’ll give you a call.”
You nodded, handing his phone back to him – with the addition of your number – just before Pepper arrived with Maria.
“And that is my cue to go,” he said, giving Pepper a hug and you a wink which did not go unnoticed, and led to a half hour interrogation by the two women as soon as he had left.
*
A few hours, and more than a few drinks, later you were sat in one of the booths, drink in one hand and head leaning against Wanda’s shoulder. She had heard all about your encounter with Luke and was consequently further convinced that you and Bucky needed to talk. Giving you a quick glance to make sure you weren’t looking she pulled your phone out of your bag from where is sat on the table.
Can we talk?
Hitting ‘Send’, Wanda briefly felt bad about going behind your back but justified it to herself with the knowledge that you clearly had feelings for Bucky but were too much of a coward to do anything about it. This was just the push you both needed to see what was right in front of you. Your phone lit up in her hand and Wanda silently thanked you for putting it on silent.
On my way.
She smiled to herself and slipped the phone back into your bag before nudging you with her shoulder slightly, causing you to sit up. “What are you thinking about?”
You shrugged, “Nothing.”
She nudged you again, “You know I can read minds, right?”
“You know I can make things explode, right?” You countered and then sighed. “Last week we made that stupid agreement and now I have a date. Maybe it’s a sign.”
“Of what?”
“That Bucky and I are always going to be just friends.”
Wanda shook her head, “I don’t believe that.”
Before you could offer a rebuttal Natasha approached the table with a tray of shots, quickly followed by Maria, and the pair sat down in front of you and Wanda.
You groaned, “Nat, this is a baby shower.”
“And?” Natasha handed you both a shot, “Pepper left like half an hour ago.”
“Fine,” you held out your shot glass, “To Baby Stark,” you declared before drinking and slamming the glass upside down on the table.
Natasha grinned, “That’s the spirit.”
The shots were finished perhaps a little too quickly, something you didn’t realise until you stood up to go to the bathroom and nearly fell back down. Swatting Wanda’s hands away you staggered towards the bathroom before colliding head first into something hard. You stepped backwards and looked up to find those stupidly blue eyes that made your heart stop.
“You alright, doll?” Concern was evident on his face.
You furrowed your eyebrows at him, “What are you doing here?”
“I got your message, about wanting to talk.”
Your confusion was not dissipating. “Did I?”
He rolled his eyes, but there was a soft smile on his lips. He put an arm around your shoulder and led you towards the restaurant’s outdoor area. “Let’s get you some air.”
You hummed in compliance and allowed him to escort you outside and set you down on one of the benches. The cool breeze was helping you to sober up slightly. You looked up at him, standing in front of you – hair a mess and clearly wearing the first clothes that he could find: grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. You couldn’t help but smile. “You’re really sexy.”
If Bucky was shocked by your words, he didn’t show it. “And you’re drunk.”
“Maybe,” you mumbled, “But in the morning I’ll be sober and you’ll still be sexy.”
He shook his head, an amused smile at your paraphrasing. “Good day, then?”
You grinned, leaning back. “I got a date.”
“The fuck?” The words had come out of his mouth before his brain had a chance to stop them.
You were visibly shocked by Bucky’s uncharacteristic outburst, and more than a little offended. “Thanks very much.” The sarcasm was thick in your voice. “Unheard of, I know.”
He swallowed, “That’s not what I meant.”
You folded your arms across your chest, trying to suppress the anger rising before things got a little...explosive. You clenched your fists tightly, fingernails digging forcefully into your palms. Bucky sensed your struggle and sat down beside you, rubbing circles on your back in an attempt to calm you down.
“I’m happy for you.”
You couldn’t quite work out whether his statement made you angrier or not. Selfishly, you wanted more of a reaction than him being happy for you. You wanted him to be jealous, to tell you not to meet up with Luke, to stay with him and only him. But he didn’t. He was happy that you were going on a date with someone other than him – presumably so you could release him from your fucked up agreement.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, or perhaps it was spending too much time with Wanda and Natasha (you would blame the alcohol the next morning) but for whatever reason you stood up and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. His eyes widened in response, unsure of how to react, motionless and unreactive as you leant forward and met his lips with yours. You could feel the heat burning through you, and you could have sworn he kissed you back – if only for a second – before he pushed you back, body turning away from you.
Defeated and dejected you slumped back onto the bench, willing yourself not to show any emotion. Eventually the awkward silence was broken by Bucky.
“(Y/N), I...I don’t think this is a good idea.”
You pressed your lips together, determined to keep your resolve. “Yeah, cool, whatever you say.”
Bucky turned around, heart breaking at the sight of you. You looked so small, so vulnerable sat on that bench, hugging your chest and sinking into yourself. Fuck. He wanted to kiss you, wanted to hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear for ever and a day. But not like this. And as much as it pained him, you didn’t know what you were doing. You were drunk and for whatever reason decided you wanted him, but for how long? Long enough for him to give himself to you completely and you to realise it was one disastrous mistake? He couldn’t bear that. He could kiss you again. He could take you back to the tower, take you to his room and let his body tell you all the ways he loved you, needed you but you would never be his. And it would destroy him to see you leave after having so much and yet so little of you.
He ran a hand through his hair, and let out a long heavy sigh. Come the morning you probably wouldn’t even remember what you’d just done. But he would. It was only a second of contact, but it was enough to spark a fire inside him, a fire that he very much needed to put out. “Come on,” he offered you a hand and was surprised that you accepted it. “Let’s get you home.”
Status: Incomplete
Pairing: Bucky/Reader
Summary: After trying to organise Pepper’s baby shower, Bucky offers you an insurance plan
Warnings: 18+. Language, later nsfw(ish) - might be actual nsfw.
Word count: 1254
A/N: This is written for allisonbaelfire‘s 6k fc challenge. Prompt is in bold
Tags: allisonbaelfire jamesbarnesbestgirl
[Masterlist]
Somehow Wanda and Natasha had convinced you that you needed to get your flirting skills back on track – personally, you didn’t see an issue with them and you quite often went out when everyone else did but apparently this was different. They were being your wing-women, which meant that they had to approve of everything you wore, right down to the scent of your deodorant. Of course you thought that this was completely ridiculous but it seemed to be keeping them amused – and keeping them from asking you any more questions about your “arrangement” with Bucky.
The boys had wanted to go out that night as well, but Natasha had made sure that you were neither going out together, nor were you to end up in the same place. You weren’t one hundred per cent sure about the plan, but you knew if you went out and Bucky was there you would be spending more time talking to him that trying to find someone else – exactly why Natasha was so adamant that your paths should never cross. So you found yourself in a nightclub surrounded by people far more drunk than you were, overheated and really needing some air. It was one of the downsides of being a so-called superhero – your training and enhancements meant that you could all drink a lot more than most people without feeling drunk. Tipsy, yes, laid-back, of course, but still completely in control. Still, you felt the confidence that came with Dutch courage while stood at the bar waiting to buy a round for you and the two women and a man came up to you, standing perhaps a little too close to you.
“What are you having?”
You rolled your eyes. Of course the only person taking an interest was too boring to asking anything original. “What I buy.”
He raised an amused eyebrow at this. “Just like that?”
You nodded, whilst trying to catch the attention of the bartender. “Just like that.”
There was a pause while the man clearly tried to say something to pique your interest. “You should know, I’m terrible at first impressions.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
He laughed, shaking his head slightly, “Sorry. I saw you alone and thought you seemed nice.”
You narrowed your eyes at this. “Am I going to regret continuing this conversation?”
A smile spread across his features, “Probably. But it might make a good story down the line.”
Damn. You looked him up and down. He was good looking, you’d give him that. And he wasn’t sending run-to-the-hills vibes. You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Wanda and Natasha who were just as drunk as you were – so, not very. Oh, fuck it. “I’m having three tequila shots. And three Heinekens.”
He grinned at that – a grin you had to admit was rather infectious. “You drive a hard bargain.”
“I’m worth it though.”
“Simon, by the way – not that you asked.”
“(Y/N), pleasure to meet someone buying my drinks.”
“Order four tequilas and four Heinekens. And then I’ll buy them.”
You cocked your head, trying to size him up. And then for some reason for mouth started working before your brain did. “Dance with me and you have a deal.”
*
The music was blaring, the drinks were flowing and for the first time in months you felt yourself relax, felt yourself enjoy the music, the atmosphere and, of course, the company. Simon was a good looking man, and the way he kept running his hands up and down your sides was all too enticing. Every now and then you glanced over to Natasha and Wanda – they were close enough, but not encroaching and happy enough dancing by themselves (as well as being proud of you for actually talking to a guy other than Bucky). Your hands snaked around his neck as he pulled you backwards into his chest, hips moving in sync with each other. This was what you needed – someone that wasn’t him. In hindsight, Simon was a nice enough guy and you probably shouldn’t be using him to feel anything other than rejection and that stupid bloody agreement but you didn’t care. You were allowed to dance with someone, enjoy someone’s company and not spare Bucky another thought.
Or, perhaps not.
A hand gripped your forearm and you were pulled forcefully forward. Immediately, you jabbed your free elbow into the intruder’s stomach, causing them to falter slightly and you would have shoved your knee upwards if you hadn’t been stopped by the cold metal fingers gripping your hips. You stopped, looking up at your supposed attacker and then a wave of anger flooded through you.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Bucky let go of you, taking a few steps back. “What?”
“Why are you here?”
He faltered, “Sam and Steve brought me here.”
“But you’re not supposed to be here.”
Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion – clearly Natasha had not made your exact location known. To make matters worse, Simon had obviously noticed the confusion and stepped forward, wrapping an arm protectively around your shoulder. “Is there a problem here?”
You shook your head, looking defiantly at Bucky. “My friend was just leaving.”
There was a brief second, or perhaps less than that, where some unreadable expression crossed his face and it almost broke your heart to see it but you were too proud: you had to stand your ground. Your jaw clenched and you sank back into Simon’s embrace.
“(Y/N), come back with us.” Bucky held his hand out. It took all of your willpower not to accept it, especially when you looked up at him, his desperation written all over his face.
“Leave me alone, Bucky.”
“(Y/N)...”
Simon pulled you closer, whispering so that only you could hear. “Want me to get you a cab? I can make sure you get in by yourself.”
You shook your head, the anger fully flooding through you – you could feel it trying to burst through your veins. You needed to get out of there, get out into the air before you lost control. You wriggled out of Simon’s arms, muttering an apology to him before grabbing Bucky’s collar and pulling him out of the club. Once you were outside you let go and shoved your back against the wall, trying to find something, anything to ground yourself on. You could feel the energy building up inside you, waiting to burst, waiting to explode but you needed to stay calm, control yourself before you caused any damage.
Fortunately, Bucky was there and he could take the brunt of it. “What the fuck was that?” You half shouted, directing all of your anger towards him because if you didn’t it would come ripping out of you, causing several explosions.
“Me? The fuck were you doing?”
You scoffed, voice tilting with laughter. “Enjoying myself.”
“Really?” His eyes were wild, disbelieving which only managed to anger you more. “Who even was that guy?”
You pushed yourself away from the wall, squaring up to him. For a second you just stared up at him, expression completely blank before you said it – completely monotonous and completely untrue but in that moment you needed him to hear the words. “I don’t need you. Not as my protector – not as my bodyguard. Not as my fucking insurance baby daddy. Not as anything.” You exhaled, having managed to calm yourself down and exhausted yourself with the ferocity of your words. “Leave me alone, James.”
With that you left, hailing the nearest cab you found and crying all the way back to the tower.
Status: Incomplete
Pairing: Bucky/Reader
Summary: After trying to organise Pepper’s baby shower, Bucky offers you an insurance plan
Warnings: 18+. Language, later nsfw(ish) - might be actual nsfw.
Word count: 801
A/N: This is written for allisonbaelfire‘s 6k fc challenge. Short chapter, but otherwise the next one would be ridiculously long
Tags: allisonbaelfire jamesbarnesbestgirl
[Masterlist]
-
Surprisingly, you woke up the next morning to find you had managed to escape a hangover. The downside to that being that you hadn’t drank enough to forget Bucky’s appearance in the club. And you were still pissed off. The whole point of you going out was to forget about him and have fun, not to be having fun only for him to ruin it. And what the hell was he thinking anyway? He had no right to interrupt you. Yes, you were dancing with a man. Perhaps something else would have happened, perhaps not, but what business was that of Bucky’s? You sat up with a huff before heading into the shower, hoping that the hot water would relax and calm you down.
An hour later you were sat on your bed, damp hair plaited and dressed in leggings and a hoody. You had decided that today was going to be a lazy day, and unless it was literally the end of the world you were not moving for anything. Except extra snacks, of course. Thank God you had Pepper’s shower to finish organising, and take your mind off of last night’s events – although you were starting to lose the will to live with each ribbon you tried to fix into a bow. It was starting to feel like you had spent your entire life curling and stapling the damned things; Pepper had better appreciate this. So much for trying to calm yourself down – now you were just annoyed at bits of pink and blue paper instead.
A knock on your door forced a sigh of relief from you, grateful for an excuse to escape the endless streams of ribbon and paper chains that you had thought would be a really good idea. You scrambled off the bed, half finished decorations and glitter flying every where and practically ran to the door and pulled it open.
“Oh.” Your face immediately fell. Your arms crossed against your chest. “Come to apologise?”
Bucky looked at you, an expression on his face which you would have thought was embarrassment but it couldn’t be. “Actually, yes.”
You eyed him suspiciously. “Really?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I know I was an asshole last night.”
You pressed your lips together, trying to remain expressionless – no, determined to remain expressionless. If Bucky was actually going to apologise then you were going to listen to all of it – and definitely not give him an easy way out. “And?”
“I shouldn’t have interrupted you.”
You remained blank-faced.
“And I ruined your night.”
The corner of your lips twitched a little. He did look sincere, but then that look had caught you out in the past and landed you in this mess in the first place. Your arms tightened against your chest but you knew, annoyingly, that you wouldn’t be able to stay annoyed with him. Especially not when he looked up at you with those stupid fucking eyes and leant in a little too close. Your eyes fixed on the wall behind him, trying not to succumb under his gaze. Eventually you let out a frustrated sigh, knowing that you were going to regret asking but not being able to let the subject go. “Why did you do it, anyway?”
He seemed taken aback by this – clearly expecting you to just accept his apology, or tell him to go away again. There was a long pause, and you watched as a thousand thoughts crossed his features, hands shoved firmly in his pockets.
“Bucky?” You pressed, now that you’d opened yourself up to an answer – any answer – you needed one.
“I-I just didn’t trust him.” His eyes finally found yours, forcing a sharp intake of breath. “Not with you.”
The fuck. You stared at him, eyes probably too wide and half convinced that you’d misheard him because he couldn’t possibly mean what you thought he meant. “Huh.” It was all you could manage to respond with, your brain having completely left you – mind only able to repeat the words Bucky had said, rather than think for itself.
“(Y/N)?” He asked tentatively.
You shook your head ever so slightly, almost trying to kick start your thoughts. “Okay, well, thank you for your apology.” You spoke a little too quickly while stepping back into your bedroom. You needed to not be around him – at least until you could form an actual sentence without staring at him like a dead fish first. “You do you.” With that you closed the door, turning to lean your back against it and felt your whole body cringe. Fucking really? You do you? Letting out a groan as you slid down the door onto the floor, you let your head fall into your hands. What the actual fuck was wrong with you?
A/N : hey everyone. This is the first imagine I've ever written and tbh I don't like it. I feel it's rushed and what not but I really wanted to take part in the challenge. This is kind of an AU so yeah. Hope you guys enjoy :) I'd love constructive criticism! If you see the name Cynthia somewhere, I apologise, I had first named the character that until I realised it was a x reader story.
Key: Y/N : your name
Y/F/N : your father's name
Y/N/N : your nickname
Includes: Pietro Maximoff x Reader
Summary : Pietro and you both loved each other to the core but sometimes love isn't enough to keep a relationship together. And when hurt gets too much, goodbyes are inevitable, especially when you've done it before.
Word count: 2003 words
“You could call it foolish if I let myself be drawn to the heart that broke me again and again without any thought of caring for myself. That i'd want to be near you even with everything that had happened.
This was what you thought. I guess you never really made the effort to come near my heart. Or else you would’ve known.
I’ve become numb to everything. All this leaving and coming back, you think I’d chase you down? I won’t. I just don’t have it in me anymore. Everything I’ve been through, I can go through a little more pain. It won’t make a difference. I’ve said goodbye before, I can say it again.
Goodbye, Pietro.
You and me, that story is closed.
Y/N.”
Pietro stared ahead at the message on his phone. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. The girl he had fallen for so deeply, had left. And it was all his fault. His damn mistakes. He let go of one light he had finally found.
He was an idiot to let her go through all this, to make her suffer. She reached her end point and any other person wouldve ended the relationship a long time ago.
But she wasn’t any other person. She was Y/N, coined Opal for her superpowers inherited by an Opal gemstone. Avengers hero night and day. Always there for everyone. The one who took in Wanda and him without hesitation. Made them feel home. Became his home. And him, Pietro, the ignorant fool who broke her down again and again to the point where it became the norm for her. He broke her, she left and now he’s dealing with the repurcussions of his mistakes.
He cried. The tears started and couldn’t stop.
Wanda found her brother in the worst state imaginable. And she knew that only one thing, one person could have caused this state.
“Steve? Steve, where are you?”
“Wanda? What’s wrong?”, Captain America looked at her with worried eyes.
“It's Y/N, she’s left. Something happened between Pietro and her. And now he’s crying his eyes out and he won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
They searched the whole tower for the her. But she was nowhere to be found.
………………………
“Pietro, just think, tell us one place where she’d go when she feels low?”
“She sometimes talked about her parents house, her childhood home. She said that when she initially joined the avengers she’d visit that place regularly.” Pietro whispered.
Natasha looked at everyone,” Yeah, I had a feeling she used to go there. But never really got the chance to ask her.”
Pietro replied,” I know where it is. She’s taken me there before.”
“Then what are we waiting for, we should go there.”
“She doesn’t wanna see me. And I respect her decision. I’ll tell you guys where it is.”
Captain America stared at the speedster,”She won’t kick you out or anything. It’s better you go with us than stay here alone.”
“No. I won’t be able to stand the look in her eyes. After all I’ve did. No. Just, please keep her safe.”
His sister looked at him, “ We will, Pietro. Don’t worry.”
…………………..
Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff and Bruce Banner set off in the search of Y/N only aided by the incoherent map provided by Pietro. They landed front of a battered gate, the name 'Y/F/N' barely visible on the plate engraved in the side wall.
They entered and as Steve set his hands on the door lock, faint sobs could be heard from behind the house.
Y/N sat on an old swing, crying silently. Wanda's heart broke at the sight. She had not envisioned such a beautiful relationship to turn into something that had broken two hearts completely to the point where it was hard to join them back.
Natasha approached the 24 year old slowly, “ Y/N?”
Her eyes snapped up. Widening at the sight of her friends witnessing her breakdown, she looked around for a way to run but she was trapped. Defeated, she sat back down and whispered, “Hey guys.”
Wanda hesitantly approached her, “Y/N/N, what happened? Pietro and You were such a strong couple.”
“Ask him then! Don’t ask me. He’s the one who loved to test my patience so much. If he really loved me, he’d know that I’m no longer the person who’d stay after being hurt multiple times. Hell, I should’ve never been the person who’d stay even after being hurt so many damn times!”
“But..”
“No, no more. I can’t take it any longer. Yes I love him, I really do. But do you know how much it hurts to beg someone to stay. How much it hurts when you’re there for someone at their worst but they leave you when you need them. When pointless shit turns into arguments and now I had even stopped crying cause of it. There’s no need to cry. I don’t have ant strength left to cry. We don’t stand a damn chance being together. And I’ve said goodbye to people before, I can say goodbye to him. Now can you all please leave me alone?”
The team looked at each other, subconscioudly agreeing that it was the best to leave her. Wanda looked down at her best friend, she wasn’t even crying anymore, just a blank look on her face that broke her.
………………….
The Avengers returned back to the compound under Cap's orders. They knew it was best to leave her alone for some time. To get her mind back together. She felt broken and battered and it was obvious that it would take her time to get in the right state of mind.
Pietro sat there with the mirrored blank look that Y/N had sported when they left her. The team knew that both of them loved each other so deeply, but sometimes, that isn’t enough to keep a relationship stable.
He looked up at her sister, waiting for an answer.
“She’s fine. She was there at her parents place. How come you knew she’d be there?”
Pietro replied,” She once told me that whenever she feels down, she’d always go there cause it would remind her of old times, and as sad as that would make her, it would bring her peace. She once took me there when I told her I was missing Mama and Papa, so that’s why I knew.”
“She shared her one safe place with you too that the rest of the team had no idea about?”
“Yeah, she did “
“Pietro, you truly are an idiot.”
“I know.” The speedster murmured in his thick Sokovian accent.
Tony looked at everyone around him and opened his mouth to say something when the wall behind him exploded. The team was thrown around against the walls of the room. Whatever happened next, took place in split second intervals. Robots across the compound. The team shackled in electric chains. And the electromagnetic waves emitted interfered with the team's intercom system. Which is why across two cities, Y/N got to know how the team was in danger. How her Pietro, no just Pietro, was in danger. And she couldn’t leave them like this.
……………….
Destructo was a man of order. That’s why he had every single avenger locked up in their own trap of horrors in separate cells with intricately designed chains holding back each of their powers. The only thing that puzzled him in the moment was the where about of Opal. But there wasn’t much time to worry about such things, he had most of the avengers in their hand and he could toture them to his will. And he was certain that he had left behind enough evidence for Y/N to come right into his trap.
Meanwhile, in Manhattan, Y/N ran with all her might through the hoards of people in the streets. She reached Avengers tower and the damage done to the exterior was evident. Holding in her breath, she entered the building, her hands glowing with purple streaks of electricity on alert for impending danger. But the tower lacked any sign of life. All that was left was rubble and destruction, but with a mark. The mark which could only belong to one villian. Destructo.
Destructo's whereabouts weren’t hard to find, due to the considerable amount of his technology present in the rubble. It made Y/N suspicious. She knew that behind the closed doors of the abandoned prison the avengers were kept in, awaited the villian who had the power to strip Y/N's life of the little happiness she had found.
Yet, that meant nothing to her. The people she loved were in grave danger and she’d do anything to save them.
……………….
“I suppose we should start off with the one who's in the most hurry here. The Maximoff boy? Let’s see what we can do….” Destructo was cut off by a sudden blackout.
“Don’t you dare lay a hand on him!” , growled a voice from the darkness.
As the lights flickered back on, the avengers and Destructo faced a raging Y/N. The villian had a devilish smile.
“Ah yes, Opal, welcome to the show. I was wondering when you’ll arrive.”
“Shut the hell up Destructo! What do you want from us?”
“It is, but a simple ordeal, sweetheart. Your extinction.” And with that came a battle of power and rage between the two powers. But Y/N was smart. As she raced on to make her first move, she intentionally side tracked. Bursting through the thick bars holding behind the mighty Thor, the energy of emitted from her was more than enough to kill.
The two avengers fought the villian while simultaneously trying to free their fellows. Y/N approached Pietro’s cell and met his eyes. Even after everything it hurt. It hurt to look at him and not kiss him. She melted the bars with her electric beams and in a matter of nano seconds, the speedster stood before her, ready for battle.
“Pietro, listen.”
He looked at her and she felt her breath get stuck in her throat as she stared in those beautiful steel grey eyes she had fallen for so deeply. Her lips met his for a matter of seconds. To bid farewell. And with all sincerity in her heart, she whispered against his touch, “I love you.”
He looked down at the girl he had called his yesterday. It was over, yes. But he knew he’d never stop loving her. The hurt he was facing was the punishment of breaking an angel. “I love you too. Forever and always.”
The battle raged on.
Destructo had a force of robots which scarily seemed indestructible. But the avengers fought with all their might and they were winning.
Through the corner of her eye, with Pietro right besides her, Y/N saw a beam aimed directly at him with him having no idea what so ever. No no no, this can’t happen. In the spur of a moment decision, she took the attack as her own and saved him in the process.
The speedster stared in horror as the girl in front of him fell down in agony. “Y/N!”
He rushed to her, cradling her head in his lap. And the last memory of the girl alive was her hand in his, hanging on to the last threads of life as the rest of the heroes finished off the villian and his force for good. Even on her death bed, her eyes held love for him, a love indestructible. A love that Pietro cherished for life to come as he kissed her forehead when she let out her last breath. A love that had brought happiness, hurt, death and a lifetime of broken consequences to come. Y/N had become so used to goodbyes that she gave away her life to the one she loved, but in process bid farewell to him, leaving agony and pain for every living second ahead.
