"silver foxā, terry silver x younger!reader [age gap] [mini series]
various preferences
ONE-SHOTS/MINI SERIES
āextending hospitalityā, obi-wan kenobi x reader [part three] [mini series conclusion] ON HIATUS
āreflections of the heartā, severus snape x reader [mini series]
āthe guilt of seven gravesā, severus snape x reader [one-shot] [dark content warning]
"of gits and glowers", severus snape x reader [one-shot]
"down by the river", halsin x reader
"folk hero's plight", astarion x reader
links and resources. . .
main masterlist
imagines/preferences masterlist
request guidelines
myĀ spotifyĀ (including character themed playlists and povs)
characters i obsess over. . .
alan grant, aragorn, astarion ancunĆn, august booth, beetlejuice, beorn, bofur, bruno madrigal, daniel larusso, daryl dixon, data soong, din djarin, dwalin, eddie munson, elrond, frodo baggins, george of the jungle, haldir, halsin, heimdall, jack sparrow, jareth, johnny lawrence, killian jones, loki, obi-wan kenobi, remus lupin, rick o'connell, rumplestiltskin/mr. gold, severus snape, silco, spencer shay, spock, tarrant hightopp, terry silver, thranduil, tyrion lannister
ariel, arya stark, brienne of tarth, danaerys targaryen, emma swan, frankie bernstein, jinx, karlach, katniss everdeen, leia organa, merida, mulan, natasha romanoff, regina mills, sansa stark, zelena
my fandoms. . .Ā
TV/SERIES:
once upon a time, outlander, arcane, star trek (tos, aos, tng, voy, pic), stargate (sg-1, atlantis, universe), cobra kai, game of thrones, good omens, our flag means death, the last of us, the clone wars, the mandalorian, the book of boba fett, the falcon and the winter soldier, loki, avatar: the last airbender, the legend of korra,Ā grace and frankie, the walking dead, the waltons, matlock, sherlock, icarly, 2000s nickelodeon/disney channel shows
MOVIES:
the hobbit, the lord of the rings, harry potter, the chronicles of narnia, star wars, star trek, marvel/mcu, jurassic park/world, pirates of the caribbean, the karate kid (I-III), labyrinth, hunt for the wilderpeople, sense and sensibility (1995), alice in wonderland (2010), finding neverland (2004), the phantom of the opera (2004), beetlejuice, the nightmare before christmas, the little mermaid, emperorās new groove, tinker bell, and a gazillionĀ moreĀ
BOOKS:
the hunger games, the hobbit, the lord of the rings, the true confessions of charlotte doyle, percy jackson series, the selection series, anything austen or brontĆ«, and a lot of heckinā good fanfiction
MUSIC/GENRES:
film scores/soundtracks, musicals, reggae, alternative/indie, celtic punk, celtic music, various independent instrumentals/composers, folk rock, 70s/80s rock, indie folk, pop, and a sprinkle of everything else (I listen to almost every genre, it just depends on what my soul needs in the moment! music is so cathartic, iām almost always listening to it)
james newton howard, howard shore, bear mccreary, rachel portman, anne dudley, alexandre desplat, john powell, john williams, harry gregson-williams, mark isham, bob marley & the wailers, jack johnson, dave matthews band, red house painters, iron & wine, cat stevens, daft punk, adele, lord huron, fleetwood foxes, dodie, birdy, avril lavigne, priscilla ahn, AND SO MANY MORE! (i freaking love music)
if you want to know more or chat about any shared fandoms or inquire about unlisted fandoms or interests, just dm me!
saw someone say they feel bad and awkward ācontributing nothingā to fandom (āno fics, no drawings, no theories, just gluttonyā) and to anyone who feels inferiority about this i gotta say us creators, doing things for free, love nothing more than your unbridled spiralling greed in our notifications aka genuinely be more unapologetically gluttonous 24/7 there is nothing wrong with enjoying something insatiably because us writers and artists feel empty and despairing without a passionate audience and feral surroundings so please and thank you and we love you
grown men will throw fits about how they face sooo much rejection and women would never get it meanwhile me and the girls who were even just like average or a lil ugly at like 12 years old were being treated like we were subhuman by peers and adults alike
we should go back to writing oldschool mcu fics. the whole gang in the tower, thor with his pop tarts, clint in the vents, loki is there just being a mild nuisance just because he canā¦
i fw adding characters that came later, but my point is that we worship the canon way too much even though we all know the best part of the mcu was the headcanons we made along the way.
here i am again with a writing update nobody asked for, lmao.
just wanted to share that Iāve been going through a lot lately and have struggled even more to write. my brother tragically died in an accident while overseas in late August and my depression and anxiety has just grown exponentially. I can feel myself slipping back into the worst parts of it and itās hard to convince myself to stay. But i donāt want to give up.
there are no support groups for grief in my area apart from very religious ones that are basically Bible studies, which Iām not interested in. having a hard time finding a community or a group that understands what losing a sibling is like. trying my best not to isolate from friends and family.
Iāve been drabbling a little with Terry Silver and Eddie Munson fics, as well as Snape. No promises on when those will happen though. theyāre just right drafts and very long idea summaries for now. right now my focus is waking up and getting out of bed again, and most days i donāt even achieve the latter. my meals and hydration has lessened and Iāve forgotten my medicine about 20/31 days of the month lately.
Anyway, I hope youāre all doing well. Iāll be okay. Iāll get to writing again and find My passion again.
(Plus the American election made everyoneās life worse this last week, so thatās not helping. Much love and support to everyone. šš³ļøāš)
When I was a kid I thought there were so many more swear words than there are. But in actuality we get like. ten before it just turns into slurs. Deep down, Iām still disappointed.
so many of my fics have remained buried in my drafts because i wrote the cool scenes first and then didnāt haveĀ āconnective tissueā. but iām freeing myself from that and just adding shittyĀ āand then a week passedā orĀ āthey got to their destinationā connections and just posting them and itās so! freeing! try it!
Sometimes when Iām feeling self conscious Iāll go and pull a book off my shelf to see how whichever author handled time transitions, and itās really REALLY common that itās just, like, āOctober came and went.ā And thatās SO freeing. Just fast forward. Just do it.
I'm really trying to get back into writing, but am finding it so difficult to finish anything. I don't know whether it's the adhd, depression, or chronic fatigue and brain fog (probably all of the above) but I'm doing my best. I've had some really traumatic memories resurface through therapy which I'll hopefully be writing about soon (it's cathartic to work it out with my favorite characters).
I'm going to be cutting off any requests in my inbox. There are quite a few, and I just don't think I can handle the pressure of requests anymore, even though they're all very sweet. I love that anyone wants to read my writing, so much so that they request certain things, but for some reason it makes my whole brain panic and shut down. I'll just be basically deleting them all, I think, and not because I don't appreciate them or like them---simply because I can't keep on top of them and my own work without the executive dysfunction making me freeze, and then not do anything.
I'll be keeping a few of the lighter preference requests in hope they might help me just drabble some, but if I don't write yours, it isn't personal. I love them all! I just have to be gentler with my personal expectations from now on so I can get out of this rut.
Hopefully this burnout I've been dealing with the last few years with subside soon. I'm so tired of not being able to create like I want to. I think my biggest obstacle is the expectation I put on myself to post everything I write, even before I've got a first draft completed. And when engagement is down on posts like this, when I'm just venting, it really discourages me. I know "popularity" shouldn't be a driving motivator, but it definitely helps to know your efforts will be recieved well by many readers. I don't know how people write so consistently and keep up engagement! I can hardly convince myself to get up and cook a proper meal.
If anyone else is going through this, you have my understanding and compassion.
āFairy tale does not deny the existence of sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of deliverance. It denies (in the face of much evidence, if you will) universal final defeatā¦giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy; Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.ā
ā J.R.R. Tolkien.
What are your thoughts on Terry in any era with a beloved who is plus sized? Like would any era love them being that way more than another or what?
ā It is the 60's-70's and the likes of supermodel Twiggy are in high fashion. How ironic that is? Twig? Twiggy? But, anyway, I think when Twig falls, he falls with a full heart, and the likes of size, the outer appearances of the body and distinctly physical features don't matter as much as his love and sheer innate devotion for the person themselves does. Twig and romance are an idealistic blend, and as such beloved is not only beautiful, but the most beautiful to him, because he views them though the eyes of absolute innocence and adoration and nothing else. Might sound like a corny line in present days, but there's simply more of them for him and then thereās also the fact that he too had body images he doubtlessly brought back from the war. He was always the overly skinny one, in opposition. Thin as a branch. Watch out, Twig, the wind might blow you away! So, he knows how to it feels to be, perhaps, unwanted and not outright viewed with favourable eyes for your body alone --- a pain that managed to follow him for years and decades. Makes the kinship between him and beloved only deeper. Firmer. If anything, he wants to get stronger for them so he can defend them from ugly comments and a world that makes them view themselves as inadequate.
ā To 80's Terry, beloved is a deity. They're deity because they're his.Ā Naturally, everyone his is a step above the ordinary rabble. Bias, bias, bias. They're a decadent Bacchus or an Aphrodite in the flesh. Curves and lines galore, it doesn't fill him any less with lust, in fact, the feeling is amplified now, because there's more of it. Beloved might be a breath of fresh air, in the overly tanned, overly starved, plastic surgery riddled LA of the decade. They stand out. Beloved might be worried, because Terry is so athletic. So toned. He brushes off their concerns, firmly, a bit pissed off theyād even have any negative thoughts in the first place. They're not up against him in a comparison of muscles. Sure, with anyone else heād be wicked enough to tell them to lose the weight, for lack of a better word, because if he can be destructive about someoneās image, he will, but thereās one set of rules for everyone else, and another for beloved. Not even beloved themselves is allowed to criticize themselves, because he chose them, and his choice is never wrong. Ever. God help anyone whoād dare claim so. Outside from that, he wants to drape them in the most expensive form fitting of attire so heād accentuate their assets even more and transform them into a literal vision that belongs to him and him alone.
ā Mana from heaven. Thatās it. Beloved is mouthwatering. All things desire. Old man Terry cannot help but follow the outline of their body with his eyes. He is the staring type anyway, now he stares at them more so. Romanticizes all they are. Doubtlessly fantasizes over it too extensively. The fullness of their shape. The occasional bit of jiggle. Their apatite, because he himself has deliberately, as we have seen, starved and dieted himself on greenery so long, so thereās a sense of pleasure in watching someone eat and enjoy it too because he himself doubtlessly didnāt, at least while he was reforming himself. He endows beloved with the finest food. The finest liquor. Indulges them. Wines and dines them. Equates their baby chub with youth, especially compared to himself, gaunt and veiny as he is. Sets them into a bubble of comfort, because theyāre his.Ā His hands are on them constantly. Always. -āLook at you,ā- heād say, grim, sultry and almost broody about it because of how deeply heās been contemplating it. -āIf you could see yourself with my eyes.ā- Terry treats beloved like something coveted, because to him, someone he loves is coveted by sheer default. Someone he loves is always the best. Always the picture of gorgeousness.
Does Terry Silver get nervous butterflies when in love? I like to think about his sensitive side, if such a thing exists.
---
Oh, it exists alright.
He's pacing up and down, trying on several different outfits, putting his stylists through hell because the impression he wants to leave matters more than anything else right now --- he's overthinking, he's overplanning, his mansion is practically under siege, the long-suffering Margaret is reminding Mr. Silver that he should please, most respectfully, calm down before he blows a fuse because here he is, practically vibrating with excitement and buying expensive gifts in advance...and then buying several additional ones while soaking in his jacuzzi because the first one seems somehow insufficient to what he desires (and he's imagined you'll desire). He's making call after call that is meant to ensure he's delivered every bit of information, intel, every purchase, every commission, that every order is put into motion, that every piece of the puzzle that'll ensure him, say, a perfect outcome to something he's envisioned or planned with his beloved is completed to his specific instructions; he's all movement, all enthusiasm, all euphoria, he's weaving schemes in advance like he just made the business deal of a lifetime. He's been at it since one in the morning. Now, it's two in the afternoon...the next day. Man hasn't slept in over twelve hours and nobody knows exactly where he seeps the energy or endurance from; but whatever the source, there seems to be an infinite abundance of it. He's all giddy, all smiles, all laughter and that's Terry Silver in love for you. The human incarnation of a happy pill.
Impossible to contain or calm down.
His butterflies are absolutely on steroids and hitting new highs, loudly flapping away hard enough to cause a windstorm in his gut that'll put a pep in his step like he's a child about to meet his most cherished playdate after being separated for merely a day for all we know, running on excess energy, forcing everyone around him to just try and keep up with his overall stamina and increasing demands --- and good luck with that one. Milos Dadok could be there, diligently almost running behind a long-legged Mr. Silver, carrying bouquets containing a hundred and one red roses because it's go big or go home at every hour of the day in this dojo, grimly and very seriously attempting to pace himself to his Boss' wide, eager strides as he hauls the flowers forward followed by a team of staff members marching where Terry wants and needs them to be. They're on a tight schedule here! They've an agenda! Man could be any age at any time and he'll behave like a school boy about to go a first dance.
So, not only can he be sensitive, he's...I mean, look at this beautiful face?
āļøI envision Terry Silver in love is like that 24 / 7.
It's everything or nothing with him.
Guy beams infectious, boyish, unspoiled happiness like a nuclear reactor and when he truly cares and it's written all over him, I feel. All over his body language. His face. His expression. His energy. His behavior. His deeds. All of it. There's no doubt in mind this guy's enamored because when he is, emotions are open and raw. Beloved walks into the room and he immediately has this triumphant, shit-eating full mega-watt smile with two rows of teeth entirely on display at the mere sight of them as he runs towards them and his whole face along with his eyes just laugh with him. He lights up. I wouldn't say it is nervousness in the classical sense because I don't feel he ascribes to feeling, cultivating or nurturing any emotion he might view as limiting to his ambitions (in this case, his ambitions being beloved's affection), but nonetheless, it is the type of love one cannot hide and definitely the manner of reaction everyone dreams and yearns to be greeted with. He's just overjoyed. If anything, Terry Silver's very courageous and even adorably overbearing with his butterflies.
He can be the sweetest person ever or a literal nightmare.
