#abbyvsmagic

[theparselmouthvh]

Abby vs. Magic: Animal Cruelty

As a second year, Transfiguration teaches you how to turn animate objects into inanimate objects. And it sounds super cool, it really does. I like the idea of being able to turn things into other things -- isn't that what magic is all about? And yet, although my professor explained that the animals are not harmed in the teaching of students during Transfiguration, he added that it is only if the magic is done correctly. What if the magic isn't done correctly? What if a second year decides to take a mouse home and practice with it in their dormitory? And messes up? Horribly? And the mouse ends up with an eraser for the bottom half of its body? Or worse, the top half of its body? Does it count as animal cruelty to have twelve year olds learn how to turn animals into magic? Does anyone care? As human beings, it is our duty to protect animals who cannot speak for themselves. To be the metaphorical Lorax for the animals put through years of abuse so snotty twelve year olds can turn them into erasers! We should demand proper security for the animals used in classes so that no student could accidentally walk away with an animal and turn it into half an eraser, because no one wants to be half an eraser, not even Mickey. written by Abigail Goodfellow

[theparselmouthvh]

Abby vs. Magic: Technology

I will repeat, once again, in case anyone missed it: Hogwarts is horribly, horribly behind. Particularly with technology. Now - I get it, I do. Everyone in the Muggle world is always going on about how "kids these days" are too attached to "their dang technology" (complete with disgruntled old man voice and a fist shake), but if you're someone who has had even a modicum of technology in their life, you would understand. Firstly, technology makes communicating easy. Floo Powder and owning owls, while very, very cool, is terribly inconvenient and messy. Sure, magic makes clean up easier, but wouldn't it be extremely easier to not have a mess to clean up in the first place? Muggles have mobiles now where you can send a note across continents without having to wait for an owl to travel the distance between New York and Australia and then wonder if maybe, just maybe, that owl got eaten by a dragon on the way there. Instead, you get a little noise telling you the note sent for the other person to read. If you're a fan of the "sticking your head in a magical fire" method of communication, Muggles have a simpler, cleaner, less dangerous version of that too: webcams! Someone in London could turn on a camera and call someone in China and have a conversation face to face, all without sticking their head into anything dangerous. It's really quite atrocious that the magical community seems to reject all things Muggle simply because they consider it "barbaric" when wizards are the ones shoving their faces into fires to talk to someone face to face. What if the person you want to talk to doesn't have a fireplace? Or any Floo Powder? Or what if they had, Merlin forbid, Muggle guests over and then someone's face just pops in over the Floo Network, potentially scarring said Muggle and also breaking a dozen different laws about magical secrecy? Of course, all of these options being brought up would be nothing without one very magical Muggle invention (and yes, I understand this is blasphemy, but trust me on this one): WiFi. Internet connections that can be found in the air! Doesn't that sound absolutely magical? Now - what's an Internet, you might be asking? Well, it's a Muggle invention that allows anyone in the world to share any kind of data. It's like having an entire library at your fingertips that you could access without even standing up. All you have to do is press a few buttons and voila! Instant information. These mobiles that Muggles have created are also the smallest complicated machines that they have created to date. Each mobile is not only a telephone and a note sender (text messages, Muggles call them), but they also include cameras, music players, calendars and planners, the Internet I already mentioned and some even give the owner the ability to track their health history! They are all sorts of helpful when it comes to living the day to day life (hence why Muggles are often attached to their devices). So really, the question this all boils down to is how come we can have magical cameras and magical musical players and magical whos-its and whats-its galore, but I can't get a decent WiFi signal in my common room? written by Abigail Goodfellow

[theparselmouthvh]

Abby vs. Magic: School Supplies

Although Muggles might be considered almost barbaric for their lack of magic, one can also say that Hogwarts is horribly, horribly behind on a few things. Particularly, school supplies. The list includes, but is of course not limited to, writing utensils, paper, and books. Writing with a quill and ink on parchment paper is beautiful. It's a classic, old-fashioned sort of writing form that, usually, involves some kind of lovely calligraphy.That's beautiful and gorgeous, yes, but it's also horribly inconvenient. The ink is bulky and it spills easily. Quills get bent funny if you put them in your bag wrong. Parchment is loose, so there's always the chance of losing something or the papers getting all sorts of out of order. So let me introduce you to some beautiful muggle inventions that can fix those: pens, pencils, and notebooks! Muggles have created pens and pencils as writing utensils. Pens are similar to quills, except the inkwell is already attached to the pen and the student doesn't need to keep constantly dipping the quill and ink. The best bonus that pens have, though, is that most kinds don't smudge! No more losing your notes because your hand moved over the ink too soon! Pencils, on the other hand, are the perfect tools for people who either have horrible handwriting or who constantly misspell words. They're erasable and most brands come with their own erasers so you don't even have to buy them separately. Notebooks, used loosely here as a term for something that holds papers that can be used to write notes in, come in almost more variety than pens and pencils. There are spiral notebooks, composition notebooks, and binders -- all things that are so much better than loose parchment everywhere. Most notebook paper is lined and there's really no way to lose a single sheet unless you really wanted to and all your notes get to stay in the order you wrote them. Books are also insanely unnecessary, now that muggles have created eBooks and tablets! Thousands of books inside a thin piece of technology that slips in right beside your notebooks and barely weighs like anything -- how can you go wrong, right? Of course, there's also the issue of the fact that technology doesn't work at Hogwarts, but that is a whole other article on its own. Long story short, Hogwarts' school supplies could be insanely improved by the implementation of a few muggle products. written by Abigail Goodfellow