#about azure

[reimeichan]

DUDE CONGRATULATIONS ON THE FUSION!!!! I'm really happy for you!

seeing as you're taking questions I kind of want to ask how you know? like, did you just fuse and feel it in the moment or as it (the final bit I guess) just so gradual you didn't notice and you're just now somehow realising? or anywhere in between?

For the past few months we've had a lot of fusions that were so incredibly gradual that we wouldn't notice until after the fact. Some of these fusions caught us off-guard, including the penultimate one between Purple and Azure. We thought that the adult parts would all fuse together the same way the littles had fused as Azure, but instead... Purple/Azure fused, and that left Purple and Green.

That last fusion, however, wasn't gradual. I mean, in a way it was, but Purple and Green approached it very intentionally. We chose to celebrate being the last two by just... hanging out and cherishing each other's company. We talked. We hugged. We laughed and we cried. And as we just existed together in that space, we also allowed ourselves to really feel each other and embrace the other as being me, and... there was a moment where everything clicked, that I wasn't just loving the other me, I was loving things about me. Because at the end of the day, that's what it's always been. Me.

And just like that, I'm now Purple and Green. And Azure, and everyone else who makes up me. It's wonderful and I've slept between making my original Final Fusion post and now and I still can't believe this is my reality. It's just... ahhh 💚💜💙🤍❤️🩷💛🧡

[reimeichan]

Reparenting yourself isn't all bad. For example, Azure has no memories of flying on an airplane before, so I used that opportunity to teach her about the science and engineering behind planes, how atmosphere pressure works, the different layers of the atmosphere, etc.

Meanwhile, Purple pointed at a funky cloud shape and went "Look Azure, it's a dragon! It's trying to camouflage into the clouds but we can see it because we're friends with it!"

And Yellow made a little game with her trying to count all the cars they could see before the clouds covered everything.

I'm glad I get to relive what it's like to be a child with these little parts of me.

[reimeichan]

So Azure recently grew up, and I'm so proud of her. She apparently has fused with a few other parts and fragments and has grown up from being 4 to being 8 years old. It took her a while to accept that she grew up, growing up is scary after all, but accepting she was no longer internally 4 helped her a lot.

However...

She's now uh. Well she calls herself the "Littles Ambassador". She says she's the spokesperson for all the littles in her side of the system. And like, none of the rest of us really know how many littles are over there. But we know that altogether they make up for over half of the system.

And now, this kid, who had been dormant for over 20 years of our life, who had been so scared and shy and timid, has grown enough to become their "ambassador"?

Like. Good for you kid. But also it's.... it's kinda terrifying knowing the kid now has so much control and power in this system.

[reimeichan]

Azure, a little: *very obviously fronting while we're playing a board game*

Friend 1, catching herself almost dropping the f bomb: I feel so weird swearing in front of Rei right now, like, I know you're not actually a kid??? but my brain keeps holding me back???

Friend 2: oh good I'm glad it's not just me

Azure: don't worry!!!! our partner already taught me about swearing and how to swear and when to use fuck!

Friend 1: oh phew, I'm glad that both your partner and I had the same parental instinct of teaching kids how to swear

[reimeichan]

We're house sitting for our parents and it's genuinely weird how our usual cast of frequent fronters have shifted around because of this change. Usually we'd have Cyan, Crimson, Purple, and Green fronting a lot with Pink, Yellow, Azure, and Mint occasionally popping in, but this past week, Cyan/Crimson/Purple/Azure have been nowhere near front unless we go back to our partners' place and instead Orchid, Yellow, and an unnamed/not fully identified Cobalt part have been fronting more (+Green, bless him) while Pink, Mint, and Beige are in the co-con/backup group. It's definitely super weird, especially when our partners check in on us and we feel kind of emotionally distant from them while knowing they are our partners and we'd usually be super excited to get any messages from them.

Unfortunately we have another 3 weeks of this x.x Here's hoping we can reach our main hosts pretty quickly once this is all over.... I hate being the temporary host.

[azure-stars]

I was tagged by @kingoftheraid ty me boy

Rules: When you get tagged, you gotta tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Then tag 25 people you want to get to know better!

WHAT WAS YOUR…

1. Last beverage:

hot chocolate

2. Last phone call:

my mom

3. Last text:

 @elo-squeeze 4. Last time I cried:

i dont remember probably some time before the summer started or during it before july

HAVE YOU EVER…

5. Dated someone twice:

comrade ive never dated

6. Been cheated on

refer to the above

7. Kissed someone and regretted it:

nop

8. Lost someone special:

in a figurative way, yes. i’ve had falling outs, drifted apart.

9. Been depressed:

Buddy I Am Experience The Depress

10. Been drunk and threw up:

no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

orange blue red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

14. Made a new friend:

yes

15. Fallen out of love:

not out of love but i got over an 8 month crush at the end of july which was nice

16. Laughed until you cried:

absolutely

17. Met someone who changed you:

hmmm im gonna say no but everyone i have met has affected me in some way

18. Found out who your true friends are:

yes...,,,,

19. Found out someone was talking about you:

nah

20. Kissed someone on FB list:

i dont even have an fb

GENERAL:

21. How many people do you know on your FB list:

none because it doesnt exist

22. Do you have pets:

my dog

23. Do you want to change your name:

a little my real name is Terrible

24. What did you do for your last birthday party:

went to one of those escape rooms where you have to figure out clues to get out of the room

25. What time did you wake up today:

i didnt truly wake up until like 10 am

26. What were you doing at midnight last night:

i think i was on call with someone but we expected more people to be there and we dont know each other vry well so it was. awkward i felt bad.

27. Something you cannot wait for:

i dont know i feel like it’s weird for me in particular to say “to get out of the house / go to college” but that is my sentiment at the moment

28. Last time you saw your mother:

like 3 hours ago

29. One thing you wish you could change about your life:

my personality tbh

31. Have you ever talked to Tom:

tom who

32. What’s getting on your nerves:

depression 

33. Most viewed webpage:

tumblr unfortunately

34. Nickname:

cool, sar, gerge, azure technically altho id rather it be my actual name, some people still call me panda

35. Relationship status:

@laurenjaurugui is my queerplatonic partner

36. Zodiac sign

capricorn

37. Elementary:

i dont even think about that time

38. High school:

i almost killed myself during high school so thats a summary

39. College:

iSoon

40. Hair:

dark brown 

41. long or short:

almost shoulder length

42. Height:

5′5″ and a half


43. Do you have a crush on someone:

thank goodess i dont currently... i need to rest..my emotions are tender... i am weak

44. What do you like about yourself:

my appearance

45. Tattoos:

none

46. Piercings:

i would like my ears pierced

47. First best friend:

either some girl named julia or one named kelly

48. First sport you joined:

i think it was soccer?? or cheerleading

49. First vacation:

gatlinburg, tennessee

50. First pair of trainers:

as if i remember

RIGHT NOW…

51. Eating:

nah

52. Drinking:

nop but i do want some ater

53. About to watch:

dreams if i have any bc after i finish this im goin to bed

54. Listening to:

Gokusaishiki

55. Waiting for

for the “sweet gods of death (to) release me” credit to eileen for the quote #notmine

56. Want kids:

id rather adopt like a 10 year old - teen then have a child myself

57. Get married:

Aboslutely

58. Career:

itd be cool if i could be both an artist and a psychiatrist

WHICH IS BETTER…

59. Lips or Eyes:

when people have super pretty eyes i Die

60. Hugs or Kisses:

ive never been kissed so i cant really choose but..,,,please hug me..,,,

61. Shorter or Taller:

it doesnt really matter to me

62. Older or Younger:

older i guess? reasonably. u kno like 3 years. 4 tops.

63. Cats or dogs:

i LOVE dogs cats are nice but DOGS

64. Nice stomach or arms:

mmm im kinda indifferent to both? but i guess id rather look at a stomach i find aesthetically pleasing than arms

65. Loud or sensitive:

sensitive i cant stand people who dont know whats unecessary to say or when to stop talking or how to take others into consideration

66. Trouble maker or hesitant:

hesitant im too tired for trouble

HAVE YOU EVER…

67. Kissed a stranger:

no

68. Drink hard liquor:

no

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses:

i lost a pair of glasses in the ocean once

70. Broken someone’s heart:

not that i know of people havent gotten THAT attached to me before i dont think.

71. Been arrested:

no

72. Turned someone down:

refer to 70 (read: no, because no one has asked)

73. Cried when someone died:

i dont know anyone who has died

74. Fallen for a friend:

anyways

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

75. Yourself:

i WISH

76. Miracles:

yes

77. Love at first sight:

not at all. for me personally love comes after building layer upon layer of trust and admiration and affection and loyalty so i dont see how you could get all that after seeing a person once 

78. Santa:

i miss believing in santa he made my christmas more magical : (

79. Kisses on first date:

only been on one and no...unfortunately...kinda wanted to...

80. Heaven:

yes

81. Angels:

ya i tag @laurenjaurugui @strawberryblondelemonade @g1assbead

[azure-stars]

i was tagged by @translouis​

using only the song titles from one artist, answer these 11 questions.

i went with mystery skulls

what is your gender: Beautiful

describe yourself: Freaking Out

how do you feel: In My Sleep

if you could go anywhere, where would it be: The Future

favorite mode of transportation: Fake

your best friend: Number 1

favorite time of day: Magic

if your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Keep It Together

what is life to you: Soul On Fire

relationship status: Thismaybetheyear

your fear: Paralyzed

i am much too dead inside to tag ppl I Am Sorry

[azure-stars]

@bisexual-finn-dameron

​ tagged me in this snazzy cool meme that i dont have the energy rn to do every part of....i just love Talkin Bout Myself

1. If for some fateful reason you HAD to have a kid (adoption is fine) what would you name said kid and why?

oh....dang.... i used to have names in mind but now i dont.... um....probably Astra.... that’s the only name that comes to mind 2. Who’s your historical fave? our lord and saviour Jesus.....i dont really know i dont care much for historical people

3. Fave Gaming Platform and/or Fave video game? aw man i dont know.... i like the mechanics of any nintendo platform but i also like playing pc games (particularly mmo’s)....fav video game.... i’ve never played it but Fragile Dreams will always have a special place in my heart

4. Would you be interested in forming/joining an official Fight Club? The only club i wanna join is one thats like that one tumblr user’s dad’s gang that he used to be in where all they would do is stand around and look pretty....my kinda gang

5. Favorite Core Class. Why?

English literally only because it doesn’t give me a headache like everything else

6. You can only take ONE elective. No summer courses to make your way around it either. Which elective would you take? I’m having this problem choosing for next year don’t do me like this....idk i really wanna take AP Psychology (its an elective at my school idk if it is anywhere else) 7. Watch movies at home or at theater? Which is better? (Bonus points if you mention your favorite movie)

hmhmhmhm I’d have to say home.... theaters are cool but home is comfier and you can have more privacy and comfort at home + eat all the snacks you want for less $$$. fav movie is Howl’s Moving Castle!!! 8. do you think the marching band works just as hard (if not harder) than the football team? Bruh i bet like i have no idea what goes into a marching band but id Lose My Mind if i had to be around that many blaring instruments so shoutout to ppl in marching bands 9. Have any original characters? if so, how many? pulls out my encyclopedia of ocs......which one would you like to know about?? : ) 10. Are you willing to buy me books? i think i’d be willing to crack my wallet open to by you a book.... i’m rlly stingy about money tho so nothing expensive.. i feel bad just spending ten dollars on steam 11. Do yOU HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, WHAT KIND? VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION. YES I HAVE A BICHON FRISE DOG HE IS VERY FLUFFY AND WHITE

and thats all ty for tagging me ginger < 333