on turning 20: a rapid review
turning another decade while on a pandemic sucks
celebrating your 2 consecutive birthdays on a pandemic sucks
college, as of the moment, sucks
like, what is the point of college now, anyway?
does my knowledge now can help me in the future? for my future patients?
not seeing your friends regularly sucks
not having your traditional family reunion sucks
everything doesn’t make any sense anymore, which also sucks
in two years time, do i still have a future i should look forward to?
to be honest, i’m very underwhelmed by the future
not because it is uncertain, but because i’m afraid
afraid of what would the course of my future be
am i still the captain of my own destiny?
the master of my own soul?
everything seems unattainable to be true
i really don’t know what would happen to me
it’s like i’m a bubble constantly floating on air that doesn’t pop
a ticking clock that doesn’t ring its alarm
a sky which the sun doesn’t set or doesn’t rise
or like Scrodinger’s cat–both dead and alive at the same time
i know we’ve all been living in this hellhole
which, for me it’s becoming unbearable
unbearable because let’s face it:
we don’t have the answers
if time really does exist
yet we cling to this 4-letter word:
and i hope that this “hope” will last
in its evergreen and perpetuity
