random asks drabbles./ @absolutia sent:
"I saw you smiling in HER presence."
Voice cut short, as always, lips pursed together in a disgusted demeanor,
nails lightly drumming against her wrist. Pink oh so adored to believe that
everything she did went unnoticed, but she had been down to Earth,
White knew. Surely this lowly Pearl wasn't nearly intelligent enough
to suggest such matters, but one was fearing she had lost track of her purpose.
"Do not forget your assignment, Pearl,
for no one will ever view you as anything but."
✩⋆ .THERE IS A QUESTION FESTERING AT THE BACK OF HER MIND / ONE THAT GREW, WINDING ITSELF AROUND HER EVERY THOUGHT; why now? -- back on Homeworld out of obligation; revered Pink Diamond & belongings called back for the sake of celebrating the establishment of Earth as a COLONY; first successful sign of Gem growth, underappreciated diamond’s very first SUCCESS. -- a farce, a blood-curdling, enraging DISPLAY of something stars forsaken matriarchs had failed to pay any heed to aeons ago. Silly Pink & her lowly pearl; called back, singled out & separated. Oh, they had mentally prepared for this. -- double life, the glorified thrill of the forbidden. -- && yet what was it but a strain / pressure on delicate frame weighting her down / bravado melting under HER RADIANCE’s glare. Do you recall? Serving her, serving the AUTHORITY; blind & breathless, loyal because she knew no better / tap, tap, tapping through corridors with eyes devoid of excitement, passion, love & a mind yielding nought but droning thoughts; one-track.
“yes, my diamond.” no. no. no. -- not anymore. NEVERMORE.-- loathing every syllable, every servant’s word coming out of her mouth. Bitter, BITTER on the tip of her tongue / cauterizing, seething! How she wished to ball hands into fists; fingers tensing against her chest / aye... take a bow, arms pressed into a salute / nervousness making it oh so hard to focus. On staying in character / to fight an ever-rising urge; pulse a heavy throb / echoing in her very ears. -- to look up; to see more / something else than the seam of a dress, the edge of a heel. IF ONLY ROSE WAS HERE: then she would dare; wager to be brave, wager to be... bold.
“Forgive me, my diamond but...” raising chin but a little; enough to see above the hem, following black adornment at dress’ front. – && she could not forget, she could not pretend [for a mere day; back, back for but a day]; it felt wrong. Posture, POSTURE [they will shatter you; oh stars, into a thousand bits & splinters]. -- rejuvenation suddenly seemed akin to torture / to be numb again, unfeeling, colours zapped / remember, remember the day blue & yellow & red came into your life; dripping into field of vision, intermingling, merging, forming most beauteous shades [green & turquoise & magenta & ... rose]. -- bullet of sweat building at her temple. Dance, twirl, smile your hollow smiles; dread your very deeds but love them all the same. -- ... love. Remember, remember: what is forbidden, what is seen as an offence; remember, remember: what she said, what this rebellion was all about. -- do you know what it means? Define it! DEFINE IT! "am I not supposed to make her happy?”
Heart a kettledrum / whispered through gnashed teeth behind smiling lips; YOU TALKED BACK, stare at some focal point [shoes, heels / shaking, trembling beneath RADIANCE’s gaze]. -- STARS, what are you doing?? Insolence; this was the renegade speaking. Oh, White... didn’t you hear? There were riots on Earth... just after you thought it was getting better. There were uprisings in your colony... led by silly, silly Pink. Call her ROSE & smile; heart hammering in her chest, threatening to CRAWL out. -- silly Pink... silly Pearl. A sting in her side, cold shiver on her skin. All the things already done; dirt caking underneath her nails / all the things already seen; witnessing fusion, witnessing the HORROR in Authority’s eyes. -- WHITE DIAMOND COULD NOT KNOW / did not know [white & black & ASININE]; courage, courage, dear heart. “-- is that not my purpose, your Radiance? -- I... I’m just a pearl, I don’t know any better.”
