#absurd things

[molicious05]

@hound-d0g 🤦🏼‍♀️😂😂 WTF? Two of these just don't make sense to me. 😳

[ladymisteria]

ABSURD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU'RE A REDHEAD.

Some time ago I accompanied my mother to the hairdresser, and while I waited, I started peacefully reading a book.

At least until a middle-aged lady came in and sat next to me.

Lady *after staring at my hair for a long time*: Can I give you some advice?

Me *stopping reading, curious*: Sure.

Lady: Don't take it badly, the color is anyway came beautifully, but don't make yourself redhead, next time. People with that color REALLY have a horrible reputation.

Me *vaguely funnied*: You don't say...

The hairdresser *arriving in that moment *: Hey, Mara! Have you seen what beautiful hair Erika has? Oh, if only there was a hair dye capable of replicating her color!

The lady *turning to me, suddenly pale*: Aren't... Aren't they dyed?

Me *who in the meantime had started reading again, incredibly amused by her shitty figure*: Nope.

[thelonghairedone]

Today I found out that the co-worker I share most of my shifts with is like the exact opposite of those  vegetarians who insist that human are only evolved to eat plants.

He thinks that humans aren’t built to digest plants. Because we don’t have four stomachs? Does he think all herbivorous animals are ruminants?

-_-

Though he must be eating a few plants or taking vitamins or something because it doesn’t seem like he has scurvy.

[gronglegrowth]

WHAT?

...I wrote this when I was 11. If you want to read this old writing too it's on my site (you can find a link to it on my about page).

[riverswater]

x

[stuft]

WAIT

I just got an email for sneak preview passes for A Walk In The Woods.

Oh that book by Bill Bryson I loved?

Yes that one.

Starring

ROBERT REDFORD who is 78 years old as Mr. Bryson

and

Nick Nolte who is 74 years old as Katz

BRYSON AND KATZ WERE FORTY-FOUR YEARS OLD WHEN THEY DID THIS HIKE

THEY ARE ONLY 63 NOW

Ok it’s a hollywoodized, liberties-taken-with-the-story adaptation of the novel but geez like just call it

Grumpy Old Hikers

[notesthenweregoingagain]

Absurd Things

I'll update this post as I think of more:

1) a zip up, camouflage bible cover for members of the military

2) in Texas, you don't need a concealed carry permit to carry a concealed weapon when you're in your vehicle - or if you're on the way to your vehicle - which means, if you own a car in Texas (...) - you can carry a concealed weapon without a permit

-The Oldest Young Man You Know

[projectsara]

My roommates have literally been arguing about mozzarella for the past half hour. I would go to bed but I wouldn't be able to fall asleep because their ardent exclamations would travel through my wall.