#abuse stuff

[themadcapmathematician]

I can't wait to live in a future where no one physically or emotionally abuses their kids to any degree knowing they'll be supported in doing so by any law or culture or decent human being. I can't wait to live in a future where emotionally or physically abusing your kids to any degree is frowned upon by such a large amount of people almost no one feels comfortable doing it any more

[seththemusehub]

sup y’all. Seth, your friendly neighborhood queer/trans/disabled/autistic dude here. good news is, my surgery went well! I have a HUGE weight off my chest, both metaphorically and physically! bad news is, I’m running pretty low on foodstuffs again. I got some cereal, which you can see back there in that photo, and I got some fruit snacks, but that’s about it. ALSO...well.

HUD is also asking for a whole lot more funds from us this next month. last month they wanted $200 more, and this month they’re raising it even more, for some reason. we’re trying to figure out what the frick is going on there, but they’re asking for us to pay $600 a month, and considering we were already struggling to feed ourselves before they asked for the $200 more, things are going to be....bad.

all of the bad aside, I am absolutely having a great week. abusive ex-stepdad who gave me PTSD from a WHOLE LOT of terrible shit as a teen died, I’m feeling more dudely than I have in forever, and damn if I’ll let any of that mess make me feel any less excited about that shit.

am gonna do the e-begging thing again, though, since food is getting short and we’re gonna be having a hell of a time to get rent together. the tone of this post is all over the place, but that’s because I’m on some serious heavy pain meds and my brain is all over the place. any amount to go towards rent, if indicated, will get sent to my roomie who has the account for that. anything else is liable to get put towards food delivery, since even when I’m not fresh out of surgery, I can’t make the walk to the store, and we don’t have a vehicle.

I got a few links if anybody can help out. paypal with my deadname, and an Amazon wishlist with food I can use now that I’m like...y’know. sorta mobile again. kindasorta. ain’t fun to get around, but I’ll do it, y’know? also my post-surgery wishlist, which I’ll be cleaning up a bit after I post this. I super appreciate the folks who got stuff for me off that earlier, the wedge pillow and lap desk are SUPER helpful and have made my first 24 hours home WAY easier than they would have been otherwise. and a preemptive thank you to anybody who shares this or gets anything off of those. I super appreciate any and every reblog, every share, every dollar dropped in my lap, every snack or drink or small thing off my wishlists.

links here...in order, my paypal (with my deadname), post-surgery wishlist, and easy to eat food since I can’t cook at the moment, or lift more than like. ten pounds tops. a reminder that if you want funds to go towards rent specifically, making a note of that will ensure that 100% of what is sent goes towards rent. https://www.paypal.me/seththemuse https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/25TM15B00YAZ6 https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2CV1MX9Y7POQD

[closet-keys]

I feel like a big part of why it’s hard for abuse survivors to tell people about situations they’re in is because it’s so unpredictable how people will respond and there are so many ways a bystander can respond that require a ton of effort to mitigate so that things don’t get worse.  and sometimes self-isolation and secrecy feels easier than reaching out

and honestly, that’s why I feel like it’s everyone’s responsibility to unlearn abuse culture and abuse apologism and read up on like basic considerations for responding in ways that don’t endanger people. (including survivors ourselves! cause what was best in our own situations might not perfectly apply to another’s situation and remembering to prioritize the survivor’s autonomy in how to handle things is really important no matter what life context makes you feel like You Know Best) 

sooner or later someone in your life will need someone they can trust and you need to make sure that if their choice is between telling you or telling no one, that the better choice is telling you

[infiniteglitterfall]

I just had the weirdest dream. My childhood home (which was not actually what the house I grew up in looked like) was in some natural disaster and it was full of sinkholes and rotting trees and mud and stuff.

And at first it was all about the sinkholes getting worse and how we had thought the trees and mud would eventually dry out by themselves... but now the biggest fallen tree was on fire AND getting rained on, and we weren't even sure if the house was still whole under all of it or if it was decomposing down there.

And my nuclear family was still together, and Nonna was still alive, and my parents were talking about how she had an apt under the house and it was probably ruined too.

And I was like, no, look! The floor in my room is dry and clean and shiny wood now, the damage has retreated to the front of the house, and the reason that sinkhole in the living room is so bad is because that's where part of the house collapsed when that one dude was chasing this guy and had a shoot-out down into it (?!) and Nonna's apt was in the back under my room, never in that part, so it's probably fine.

And my parents didn't even remember the shoot-out, or the ceiling falling through there, or anything.

And the message was like, you can't just give up on cleaning up the wreckage of the past, or you'll only make it worse and destroy what you have now.

And it was like, you can't clean up the wreckage of your childhood but not how it plays out in your adult life, or your adult life, no matter what the reality is, will just feel like mud and rotting and anxiety and being passively suicidal and hating yourself.

The universe keeps telling me louder and louder that I have to quit participating in my own suffering and I keep being like, "no, that doesn't sound right."

But that is the core thing we all need to quit. Not just binge this, or anorexic that, or substance whatevers, or codependent something else.

But also, the hardcore belief that we deserve to suffer. That our suffering doesn't really count and isn't bad enough. That we have to sort of punish ourselves into succeeding.

That there's no viable way out of that. Or that that IS the way out of whatever we think is wrong (like our actual selves, usually).

[mossyc0bble]

lately i've been remembering... and remembering... and... it doesn't feel good...

[where-are-the-owl-s]

i hate how many things that used to make me happy have been ruined for me

[themadcapmathematician]

One day theres gonna be a post abt boundaries on the internet that doesnt openly blame you for not having the tools or circumstances to set good boundaries