#abuse*

[lesbianeo]

physical anxiety and tachycardia, my arch nemesis

[koslinas]

mmmm good food

[quasimyth]

My mom wants me to cut off all but 10 of you guys. My stepdad is supporting her. But I’m not going to listen.

I don’t have as much time as I’d like, so I’m going to keep this short. Today my mom sat me down and made it very clear to me that she was going to make me cut off all of my friends until I only had the 20 people I talked to most left--then she was going to make me get that number down to 10. She’s doing this because she doesn’t want me hanging out with Internet friends when I go to law school, so she’s making me cut off everybody right now “in preparation” for law school--and to add insult to injury, my stepdad made it very clear that he was in support of this because he didn’t want me hanging around you guys either. I have 158 friends on my Discord right now, and she WILL check the number of friends I have on my account to ensure that I’m serious about this.

So here’s my plan.

As all of you are aware, I actually have another Discord account. It’s my old one, with a tag of #5287. What I’m going to do is keep all of you guys on my current Discord account Emperor Edgelord (天)#6669, and only invite 20 people to my old Discord account, whose name is currently Emperor Edgelord (天)#5287. Then I can show my mom my old Discord pretending it’s the one I currently use, and she will be satisfied because that account has only 20 friends on it. In case she checks my Tumblr followers, too, I’ll make a new blog @tiansmulti, follow only 20 people on it and get some activity going there so I can “prove” to her it’s legit if she ever checks. I will be primarily using my account #6669, but you may catch me sometimes on #5287--especially when I’m trying to fly under my mom’s radar. To be absolutely fair to everyone, I will invite the 20 people at the top of my list of Discord chats to my alternate account--that is, the last 20 people I talked to. If I have to clear out 10 more people from account #5287, I will clear out the bottom 10 people on my list--once again, to be fair.

If somehow my plan fails and I ever have to ghost anybody completely, please try not to take it personally. If we’ve been talking for a while and I suddenly remove you from everything, it’s because my mom made me do it. I will try to send you a message to let you know that my mom made me do it at the earliest possible convenience, and I will re-add you as soon as I can. I hope to be able to re-add everybody this happens to as soon as possible, but if I can’t…well, I’ll see you in September when I go to law school. 🫂

In parting, I would like to say that my Discord activity will most likely be spotty from now on, except on Sundays. If my parents’ behavior is anything to go by, they’re trying to squeeze every last drop of Internet time from my schedule--which means I may only be available in the early mornings and late evenings. Once again, they are doing this in preparation for how busy I’ll be in law school, but at the same time, they’re probably also doing this as a deliberate tactic to cut me off from you guys. One thing is for certain, though: my time may be sparse, but my friendship with you all remains the same. <3

With love,

天

[neotrances-deactivated]

remember where lapis was supposed to be an abuse victim because she was small and feminine and jasper was supposed to be abusive cause she was big and kijda masc and then they accidentally made it the exact opposite and made jasper 100% the victim andalso ruined lapis's character for no readson

god i cant even think about those two for too long bc the way they were handled was so bad

[cosmoscourge-a]

Wow Mom, taking my phone away while I’m in the middle of talking to a client so that you can talk to me instead definitely isn’t abusive at all! I loooooooove living here.

[forcefuried]

this was supposed to be under a readmore, idk why the dash isn’t letting me use readmore, but if you don’t want to hear about abuse, coronavirus or general negativity keep scrolling.

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fuck this. fuck everything. COVID-19 has taken TWO jobs from me before i could even start working and it is about to take a third. that job i was talking about where the CEO was so impressed with me that he basically hired me on the spot? yeah, the virus is getting in the way of that too. and it’s a damn good job as well. long hours sure, but it pays $55k a year. $55k. when most starting salaries are in the $20 - $30k range. all of it about to be taken away from me before i even earn a CENT of that cash. this job came to me after 3 months of grueling search. it was going to be my way out from my abuser, and it’s all for nothing, all gone, all wasted……

i’m almost 24. i’ve only spent 6 months of my life away from my mother. that’s 2%. i’ve only spent 2% of my life being free and making my own choices without fear of punishment. granted, she doesn’t beat me or anything like that--but every time i do something she disagrees with she degrades me and/or harasses me, and that is punishment enough. this was my big chance to be free, and every time i had a moment of triumph the virus has snatched it away. if this job falls through i truly don’t know how much more i can take. you can tell me to “be strong” and “keep going” all you want, but i’m tired. I’M FUCKING TIRED OF BEING STRONG. 23 years of being abused and controlled, soon to be 24--with no reward, no hope, no end in sight……i can’t take much more than this. how long before the virus destroys all that i have left? my stepdad? my good health? MY LIFE? it doesn’t seem to matter anymore that i’m a double major graduate from one of the best universities in the country. corona has just gone “fuck that” and come after everything i have.

[eldunea]

throughout my entire 23 years of life, i have only spent six months free of my abuser. six months. just barely 2%. i have only spent 2% of my life not being owned and dominated by another human being……why is this existence worth going through?