X-MEN #12 Review
Alien bounty hunters came for Cyclops last issue. We find out why and wrap that up, learn more about Alpha Flight, and Corsair continues to be a useless motherfucker. I suspect this issue and the last were killing time until X-Manhunt next issue - as both are quite skippable. Let's talk about why and discuss the future.
Alpha Flight were indeed jailed during Fall of X, for supporting the mutant members of the team and mutants in general by subverting the sentinel/camps from the inside. Interesting that they're still prisoners and the team is basically a Thunderbolts program. I would have thought that ORCHIS and their laws would be seen in a different light after they tried to extinguish all life on the planet. Maybe they are, but no pardons for Alpha Flight. Shaman is a conscientious objector to this bullshit, and good for him.
Heather is still in a coma so their handler, Agent Arsenault, is the new Vindicator. Nobody respects her though. It's nice to get a follow up on their bittersweet ending in Fall of X, but this book has enough characters that aren't getting much attention. Having Alpha Flight take up half the issue is a choice. I haven't forgotten that Mac joined ORCHIS briefly either.
On to the X-Men! They're in deep shit, with the bounty hunters, aided by Xanto Starblood, having prepared for Cyke, Magik and Juggernaut well enough to neutralize them. He remembers his time teaching at the Hellfire School run by those infuriating child billionaires, especially Quentin and Idie. Dude has really good intelligence on the team, though I guess he'd just have to check Earth media. They've been acting publicly. Quentin and Idie never find out he's here and thus don't comment on him or anything from Wolverine and the X-Men. He's a war criminal, if I remember correctly, but he doesn't seem especially dangerous here.
Turns out they want Scott for the obvious reason - as a way to manipulate Phoenix. I'm not giving myself points for calling it, what else could it be? Interesting phrasing by Starblood here, that Scott is 'one of the few [Earthers] with Galactic importance.' Not sure how true it is, as Earth seems to produce a lot of people who are galactically important. Nova, Star Lord, Adam Warlock, Carol Danvers, Hulkling and Wiccan, the FF, most Avengers and X-Men. Scott is in a unique position as the concubine of a God, but I'm skeptical how well thought out this plan is. Sounds like a good way to get incinerated or upgrade a Phoenix problem to a Dark Phoenix problem. I suppose Thanos rules the galaxy, so dumb ideas reign.
These idiots don't get to enjoy the fruits of their plan for very long though, as they didn't plan for Canadians. Temper has been holding back to avoid burning the rest of the team, but Vindicator and Guardian can bring finesse to that strategy. They can manipulate electromagnetic fields, apparently. I know someone else who used to be able to do that, but for reasons he's on the sidelines and Alpha Flight save the day.
Feels like hanging a lampshade on it, which irks me. 'Can we get Magneto for dinner?' 'We already have Alpha Flight at home.'
The uber capable bounty hunters of last issue are gone. In their place are passive and ignorant chumps that are easily defeated. The Alphans take out one heart chamber, which I assume is vital to ship functions. I zoned out a lot in the Brood saga. Storm would know. Captain Fucko isn't bothered, because there's a second heart chamber. I wonder what happens next.
Extreme Zoologist sounds pretty cool, like a space Steve Irwin or something. I remember Starblood being very proud of his doctorates in Xenobiology, Xenozoology etc. It doesn't really matter, he's a smarmy fuck who's tempting fate by pointing out the single point of failure for the space whale they're on. Psylocke is right where she needs to be to cause that failure and it's not guarded at all. Not a lot of tension here. The good guys identify what they need to do and just do it without difficulty or resistance.
Heart chambers destroyed, prisoners easily retrieved by Magik, Acanti crashes into the snow. Ilyana even has time to throw up a shaka and call them losers (which I love.) Problem solved! A little too easily, but it's the price we pay for 4 intro pages of Alpha Flight and their team dynamics. They weren't narratively necessary, and interestingly the letters page has Brevoort say Mackay really wanted to get Alpha Flight into the book but he said no way. As much as anything Tom Brevoort has to say is worth taking at face value, it's pretty strange.
This was a choice, and we know more about what Alpha Flight wants than we do for Glob, Ben Liu, Xorn, Jennifer Starkey, and Magneto (unless you've read the Infinity Comics and that Avengers issue.) This wide focus at the expense of main characters is a problem several books in From The Ashes have, so I have to assume that editorial wants this. Writers only have so much latitude (though that changes depending on who's in charge) and Mackay/Simone have to work around two crossover events within the first 13 issues. I'll come back to this.
As is standard for anyone not from Earth, they think it's a shithole. It's a shithole with a lot of superpowered individuals, though, as Starblood is faced with when crawling out of the wreckage. Poor space whale. Nice to see heroes side by side (and Guardian) without a single punch thrown at each other. Game over for this bozo, crisis averted. The implication is that this crew of dozens came to Earth at someone else's behest to capture Scott to get at Jean. They failed, of course, but the Phoenix is considered an existential crisis by most space empires, especially the Shi'Ar. I wonder if this will be an ongoing thing. Something for Scott and Jean to talk about, and that's 3 times in 11 issues The Phoenix has been mentioned. It's certainly set up, as so many things are, so as ever we'll see where it goes.
Scott is grateful the drama didn't reach Merle, which definitely tracks. Corsair the useless gets to collect the bounty on the bounty hunters, which is probably a lot of money. Yay for him, I guess. He didn't help even a little bit, I'd even say he was a hindrance. It's not clear whether he's sticking around, but it's not likely. I think it would be very interesting to have Scott's bio dad around when having it out with his fallen adopted father. Cyke thanks Mac and offers to break them out but he refuses.
Oh so now Scott's interested in jailbreaks? What if they have a space weapon? Just as I'm thinking how odd it is that so many people want to stay in prison, Scott gets the news that Xavier has broken out. The X-Men have been dealing with back to back problems since Graymalkin. First the O*N*E visit and then this. Last issue he referred to that event as 'earlier' which suggests it's the same day. That can't be right, can it? Chuck refuses a rescue then breaks himself out <24 hours later. I've never heard anyone use 'earlier' for anything but the same 24 hour period, at least not without a qualifier. I guess it doesn't matter.
Would Scott actually care about that? He was pretty emphatic about not allowing him to be freed on the grounds that his freedom reduces everyone else's. The solicit says the X-Men will fight Storm over Xavier, which sounds silly but I put zero faith in solicits these days. I guess we'll find out what the deal is in the, *sigh* second crossover event in what, 8 months? Less? NYX and X-Force are getting cancelled after issue #10, and it wouldn't surprise me if X-Factor and Phoenix followed. Phoenix is confirmed for issue #11, but the scattershot approach to publishing is bearing fruit. I stopped caring about X-Force (though I love the characters) but NYX has been pretty good. Plenty of potential and trying something new, but 10 issues is not a lot of space to build something sustainable especially when there's 17 other X-books on the shelf. 10 came out last Wednesday alone.
Those books aren't this book, but it's the same hand at the wheel and the lack of faith in books/creators makes me concerned for this one. X-Men has had some great issues but it's also had issues you could skip without missing anything, like this and the last issue. That many of the characters are underdeveloped in favour of seeding new threats each issue and navigating events is a problem for me. If those characters aren't really being used, why are they there? We'll only be able to truly judge in retrospect, but after Raid on Graymalkin's deflating resolution it bodes poorly for X-Manhunt. I know what I want out of the event, and I'm being very cautious with my expectations. I'm sure we'll see friends punching each other, but I'm not holding out for character development or earnest engagement with the recent past. That's fine, I guess. I just prefer a little more ambition from my X-books.
