i made a post the other day about not taking clear skin for granted & it’s made its way into the accutane community which i had no idea that existed. this post is for all of you people on accutante. feel free to reblog this accutane community, spread the word, i don’t care. feel free to message me if you need someone to lean on, if you need someone to talk to because i’ve been where you are now. i’ve been there and i know how much it sucks. i know how much you need someone to listen who has been in your shoes because no one understands what it’s like to have cystic acne, to be on accutane until you’re on it. i’m here if anyone needs to someone to listen
i was on accutane for 13 months. if you’re on it, you know that the normal time period is about 4 to 6 months long. i went through 2 doctors ( my first one had to retire due to health issues, i loved him ) before i finally found a doctor that i trusted. my second one looked at me for 2 minutes, said okay keep taking the same stuff, and then left. i broke down and cried after he left because he wasn’t personable, he was standoffish and rude. afterwards i found a doctor that wanted to help me, that sat with me and explained everything. it made so much more sense to me as to why my body was reacting this way.
i had cystic acne on my face, neck, chest, and back. the worst was on my back. i had it where my clothes rubbed, all over my shoulders, right along my bra line and my pants line. it was painful. there were some days i was in so much pain that i cried. there were some days that i would look at my face and back and cry because it wasn’t getting any better. my face would break out, my face would be bright red, and my lips would be chapped. i would have people ask me why my lips were so chapped, what was going on with me. i had adults asking me this. it was disheartening because they’re adults and they’re not suppose to act that way.
and then i went on vacation. i went on a cruise to bermuda & i had to take accutane & my face was awful. i had so many cysts on my face & neck that i was embarrassed. looking back on pictures from that time i cringe because of how horrible it was. i never realized it until i was looking back. but also when i was looking back, i noticed something else. over a 7 day period, we had pictures of me every day and my acne was getting better. my face wasn’t as red, my cysts were getting smaller. it was the first time that i really had a sign of hope that this long journey was finally going to end.
this was really the point where things started to look up for me. i noticed that my skin was getting better. i had less cysts on my back, i had less on my chest, and everyone on my neck was gone. i was beginning to have a positive outlook on this because it was getting better.
while i still had some flare ups & i had to do the painful shots in the cysts to make them go away faster, it was getting better. i was beginning to see the end of the road that didn’t seem like it was coming.
then august of 2014, i received the best news of all. i was told by my trusted doctor that i could go off the accutane, that i was done, that i don’t need it anymore. i cried. i was so relieved because the long journey was finally over. i could jump for joy, i could wear tank tops without being embarrassed about the cysts on my shoulders. i could go out into the sun without sunscreen & without worrying about being a fried lobster ( i’m very pale so i burn easily anyway ). all that was done and over with.
basically, this long winded post is that it’s going to get better. it may not seem like it today, tomorrow, or even next week but one day you’ll have that realization that your acne is getting better. you’ll wake up one morning and your face isn’t red anymore, you don’t have as many cysts or much acne on your face or wherever else it is. one day you’ll realize that it’s almost all gone, that you’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. you’ll get there. i promise you that you’ll get there. if i can come off of 13 months of accutane & my body be perfectly fine, the other thing left is scarring, then you can too.
i have faith in you. i believe you in. trust your doctor, trust the medication. your doctor knows what’s going on, your body knows what’s going on as well. believe in yourself. no matter how self consious you might feel or how unattractive, remember there is always a positive point. there is always something about you that is beautiful. do not give up now. keep your head held high, keep that smile on your face because one day it will be all worth it. i promise you.
each and every single one of you are beautiful in your own way. you’ll all get that shinning skin that you wish for. just keep on trekking. remember it’s a marathon, it’s not a race and eventually you’ll see that finish line c:
