I've just had a realisation that whenever I feel less verbal or none verbal, it also tends to coincide with when I feel less affected/less sexual attraction or arousal from people and content. It defaults back to a lot of "that person is aesthetically pleasing/handsome/pretty" or "that's a nice story, that's something I know I'd like. Next" and less.. outward desire? Words are hard
When I'm like this I still feel like I enjoy pillow princess stuff. Being given sexual attention is still nice.
This is a very autistic thing for me and I've never connected this specific part to my sexuality. It's a weird combo of craving, needing connection whilst also feeling burnt out and none verbal and giving any sort of energy out, be it sexual or just conversation, feels so incredibly hard and smothered.
