#acefaq

[stayinalive-ah-ah-ah-ah]

Nonheterosexual nonheteroromantic or noncissexual people: I am trying to put together some resources for the counselor at my old high school. I am ace, and I feel like it would have been helpful to me to have known that identity was an option back when I was in high school. What are some resources that you have come across that were helpful to you in discovering your sexual or romantic orientation or gender orientation? What resources would you recommend now?

[acefaq]

I am a gay woman who loves sex and the girl I'm currently dating is biromantic ace. I think she's ace, bc she told me that she's not really interested on having sex. So we are really opposite! Do have any advice on how to handle this kind of relationship?

She may or may not be ace, not wanting sex does not automatically equate to being asexual. Regardless of how she identifies you two need to discuss this with each other. Any relationship requires honest discussions about personal boundaries. You also need to be honest with yourself as well about your needs.

My wife is bisexual and enjoys sex while I personally loathe sex for reasons outside of being asexual. I think if I wasn’t asexual I still wouldn’t want sex of any kind. This has taken a lot of communication about why I dislike sex so she understands that it’s not me viewing her as unattractive, but a sexual need of mine to NOT have sex or engage in other sexual activity. She has also expressed her needs. We have come to a conclusion that fits our relationship.You two will need to come to your own.

Again communication is key. You cannot be hesitant to discuss these things, you cannot hold back information. You cannot be scared to share your feelings in fear of what she thinks - it’s scary but you have to lay it all out, exposed raw feelings to be then evaluated by your partner. She also needs to do the same. You have to completely know each other, the boundaries you each need, and the reasoning behind it so you can be happy together.

-Mod Alix

[acefaq]

If a person doesnt feel sexual attraction but is still attracted to people, like wanting to be with them or wanting a relationship with them, would they be asexual but have a different romantic orientation?

Correct!

While not perfect, here is a good chart to help illustrate things on the romantic attraction scale.

-Mod Alix

[wretchedquintessence]

I realized something a little while back, and it is honestly the most basic yet the most freeing concept ever: I get to decide what it means to be me! 

To be me is to be black, to be a dancer, to be an athlete, to be asexual, to be a perfectionist, to be a scholar, to be a friend, to be someone who is learning to love herself, to be someone who loves herself so much more than she did this time last year, to be a work in progress... Right now, these things are what make up me, and that is valid. I am valid.

Happy Blackout, loves!

[acefaq]

Ace FAQ #10

Do all asexuals have a sexual dysfunction / are all asexuals unable to have sex?

No, not all of the asexual community anyhow. While there are asexuals who do have sexual dysfunctions/ inability to have sex, one does not directly create the other. Not feeling sexual attraction is unrelated to how your body operates. Some asexuals may feel that their experiences with sexual dysfunction/inability to have sex plays a role in how they personally identify as asexual, but this is for the individual to decide vs a rule across the board.

More AceFAQs Here!

[acefaq]

Asexual FAQ #8

lol so you’re a plant

Asexual reproduction is the process by which various types of cells, fungi, plants, and some animals reproduce by themselves. Humans are NOT capable of this, nor is asexuality equal to asexual reproduction.

Also, you aren’t funny.

More AceFAQs Here!

[acefaq]

Asexual FAQ #7

How can asexuals date if they don’t experience sexual attraction? Can asexuals date non-asexual/allosexual people?

Asexuality does not equate to aromanticism/lack of romantic attraction. There are those who are both asexual and aromantic but they are not one and the same. Asexuals who choose to date may still feel romantic/sensual/aesthetic attraction to a certain gender(s), thus the hetero/homo/bi/etc-romantic labels many people use. As well, there are: gay asexuals, lesbian asexuals, bisexual asexuals, and so on.

While some asexuals only date other asexuals, many also date allosexual people. Many allosexual people are open to dating asexuals. With open communication and respect from both parties, these relationships can be happy and long lasting like any other.

More AceFAQ’s Here!

[acefaq]

Asexual FAQ #4

Do asexuals belong in LBGT+ communities?

Disregarding how many asexuals consider themselves non-heteroromantic/transgender or are intersex, the stand alone identity of asexual warrants inclusion in the community. 

Think of it as this: Would heterosexual people think of people who don’t experience sexual attraction as fellow heterosexuals? They would say no, that sexual attraction is part of their sexuality as heterosexuals. They would see asexuals as different from heterosexuals, even heteromantic asexuals.

Asexuals face many of the same issues other LBGT+ people do, and also unique challenges that need to be respected. We need to have a place where we feel safe to express our life experiences, especially in real life groups of fellow LBGT+ people.

So, yes, asexuals are / belong in the LGBT+ community.

More AceFAQ Here