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@acefaq
hey all, I just wanted to formally say I’m leaving this blog.
I feel really distanced from the ace community, and honestly, the ace community is really toxic sometimes, and I don’t feel connected to it like I used to be. (Plus, sometimes I feel more not-ace than ace.)
This blog is already inactive, but I’m leaving it. i hope all of y’all have a good one.
-mod jesse
it’s a little early, but here’s some ace/aro valentines for you
if someone wants to explain why allosexual is a bad term please do, because you can probably do it better than i can
the term allosexual:
compares sga (same gender attracted) people to their opressors (straight people)
sexualizes people without their consent (this is bad bc gay people are constantly persecuted by homophobes for “what they do in bed” & there are abuse victims grouped in with this term)
implies that sga people are privileged for the same thing theyre oppressed for
shames people for their sexuality, which can be damaging to abuse victims who are hypersexual due to trauma
Today’s Action: Borderlands creator Mikey Neumann comes out as asexual
As of yesterday, October 23, Mikey Neumann came out as asexual. He used the blog “TheMarySue” as a platform to talk about himself, his sexual identity, his journey to his coming out and answered 6 questions he’s been asked the most about asexuality.
“My name is Mikey Neumann and I’m the Chief Creative Champion at Gearbox Software, the makers of Borderlands (among other cool stuff). I wrote the firstBorderlands and its DLC, came up with a lot of the cinematic style (like title cards!) that permeates the game.”
“Identity is a bit of a strange thing, isn’t it? No one truly, fully understands the ins and outs of everyone’s sexual or gender identity, though, I think a lot of us would like to. I use the word “strange,” not cavalierly, but purposely and proudly because in just four modest words, to the world that you inhabit, one or both of either identity could change: I am an asexual.“
Further, he writes:
“Asexuality is, by its nature, an introverted identity. And for someone so “in the spotlight” to say that, you should now know how much of my life I’ve lived in total secrecy, putting on a public-facing façade, for what feels like most of my adult life. Never in any form of media, have I ever truly been myself. And that has really started to eat away at me. This has been a long time coming, and I’m as excited to finally have it out there, as I am terrified of what the reaction will be.”
This week, October 19 to 25, we celebrate Asexuality Awareness week and we feel Mikey couldn’t have chosen a better time to come out and give a lot of hope and strength to other people identifying with the Ace/Aro spectrum.
For Today’s Action, we would like to ask you to congratulate Mikey here or retweeting our message to him here
Congratulations to @mikeyface for coming out as asexual and giving a lot of Ace/Aro people hope, strength and much needed visibility! #LGBT
— Rainbow Direction (@homefromnarnia)
October 24, 2015
Last year, the Huffington Post ran a series of six articles on asexuality. It was one of the most in-depth and comprehensive explorations about what asexuality is and what asexuals go through. It...
So What? Who Cares!
Nothing Bad Happens
You’re Not One Of Us
It’s All Too Complicated
I Know More About You Than You Do
I’m Not A Doctor, But I Play One On The Internet
Everything’s Political
What About Me? ME ME ME!
it’s asexual awareness week! (insp)
These pictures were taken for National Coming Out Day! My college's LGBT+ club had flags and a "closet door" to come out of. (I look so silly because the sun was straight in my eyes ahhh :-p)
I understand the inclination for LGBT people to automatically react with the opinion “cishet asexuals are straight”, to call cishet aces “straight aces”, to say “straight aces aren’t queer and they don’t belong”, but if this is what you think, there is something very important you’re missing here.
If you say “the A stands for asexual” but then say “cishet aces don’t belong in the queer community”, then you don’t really believe that the A stands for asexual.
You’re saying that asexuality only counts if the person is homo-, bi-, or pan-romantic or if they’re trans, you’re saying that “just” being asexual isn’t enough to be included, which is offensive to asexuals of all romantic orientations. You’re classifying asexuality as a substandard sexual orientation by overwriting it with romantic orientation, as though being ace means that my sexual orientation is an empty gap. It’s not.
You can’t say “the A stands for asexual” and then turn around and say “the LGBT community needs to be protected from straight people who don’t experience sexual attraction”. (Literally a post I have seen.) Those people are asexual, and asexuals are not straight. They are not heterosexual. And besides, what the fuck are you afraid of? That cishet aces are going to cuddle you to death? Talk your ear off about dragons? Make you fat with too much cake? Asexuals are not a threat to you; they are your ally.
I get that the odds are high that I, a cishet ace, will never face the same oppression as someone who is gay or trans. I get that I can “hide” my orientation and that if I were to have a hetero partner I would not need to feel nervous about going in public with them. I get that I will probably never be called “queer” as a slur. But the LGBTQIA community is not the Oppression Olympics. It is a place for people who are not cis heteroromantic heterosexual to feel safe and included.
You, an allosexual, do not get to tell me that I am straight, or that living as an asexual in a hypersexual culture is a privilege. You don’t get to tell me that it’s a privilege to feel like there’s something wrong with me, to be afraid that no one will want me or love me as I am, to fear sexual pressure, to fear that any relationship I have will fall apart if I can’t meet the needs of my partner, to keep my identity hidden because I know that anyone I tell will think I’m stupid or a freak. Please don’t try to tell me those are privileges.
Asexuals don’t want to take anything from you. They just want to feel safe and feel like they belong.
You convinced me! The Ace pirate flag is done! Now all I need is a matching pirate hat!
An asexual can camouflage themselves in any part of a bathroom, public or not. Some have been known to lose themselves in their own hiding and never resurface, never to be found again.
PSA
Sex-Positive: Approving of sex in general, for all people. The belief that sex is good as long as it’s safe and consensual.
Sex-Favorable: Desiring sex for yourself.
Sex-Neutral: Having no opinion toward sex in general, for all people.
Sex-Indifferent: Neither actively wanting sex for yourself, but not being against the idea of having it.
Sex-Negative: Believing that all sex is bad or inherently wrong in general, for all people.
Sex-Averse/Repulsed: Not enjoying or desiring sex for yourself.
Reblogging this because I’m seeing the incorrect terms used again and I want to combat misinformation. :)
I am a gay woman who loves sex and the girl I'm currently dating is biromantic ace. I think she's ace, bc she told me that she's not really interested on having sex. So we are really opposite! Do have any advice on how to handle this kind of relationship?
She may or may not be ace, not wanting sex does not automatically equate to being asexual. Regardless of how she identifies you two need to discuss this with each other. Any relationship requires honest discussions about personal boundaries. You also need to be honest with yourself as well about your needs.
My wife is bisexual and enjoys sex while I personally loathe sex for reasons outside of being asexual. I think if I wasn’t asexual I still wouldn’t want sex of any kind. This has taken a lot of communication about why I dislike sex so she understands that it’s not me viewing her as unattractive, but a sexual need of mine to NOT have sex or engage in other sexual activity. She has also expressed her needs. We have come to a conclusion that fits our relationship.You two will need to come to your own.
Again communication is key. You cannot be hesitant to discuss these things, you cannot hold back information. You cannot be scared to share your feelings in fear of what she thinks - it’s scary but you have to lay it all out, exposed raw feelings to be then evaluated by your partner. She also needs to do the same. You have to completely know each other, the boundaries you each need, and the reasoning behind it so you can be happy together.
-Mod Alix
Reblog if you're pumped as heck for Asexuality Awareness Week 2K15
#21AceStories is a new series from the Advocate featuring the stories and lived experiences of asexual people all over the world. Check out two of the first installments here and here.
Help us make a Comprehensive Asexual Academic Publications Masterlist!
Help us make a Comprehensive Asexual Academic Publications Masterlist!
So I mentioned this on tumblr earlier today, but I wanted to put out a more formal announcement: help us crowdsource a comprehensive record of academic publications about asexuality! Asexual Explorations already has a pretty good bibliography that makes for a good starting point, but it’s not updated very frequently, so it can be missing a lot of newer works. Asexual Explorations is also a…
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Ace Community Support Compilation
Thanks to a comment regarding #AceDay from redbeardace, I’m going to be putting together a video compilation of aces sending messages of love and support to one another. The video will be released sometime in the week before #AceDay and will be circulated in my social media accounts.
As redbeard mentioned, the holiday season can be difficult for many in the LGBTQIA+ community due to negativity and lack of support from family members. To promote unity and support within the ace community, I’d like to collect submissions from all of you who would like to participate.
If you’re willing to submit, please either film yourself saying a few words or photograph yourself with a message to your fellow aces letting them know they aren’t alone and that they have support in the ace community.
All submissions can be e-mailed to me at: [email protected] up until November 1, 2015. All languages are welcome and strongly encouraged (but please provide translations for captioning), however I would ask that you try to make it as non-seasonal as possible so as to accommodate all cultures and make this something that can resonate year-round.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me!
hey a reminder that sexual intrusive thoughts are not sexual fantasies. sexual fantasies are about what you desire and sexual intrusive thoughts are about what scares you the most and your intrusive thoughts say a hell of a lot more about what you DONT want than about what you do. youre okay and youre safe and youre not whatever it is your intrusive thoughts want you to think you are. youre fine.
if you have a hard time knowing for sure that your intrusive thoughts arent actually fantasies, fantasies will make you feel good. intrusive thoughts wont. if the thoughts scare you, worry you, or stress you out, theyre not fantasies. promise
