#achashvarosh

[jincorrectquotes]

Achashvarosh: did you have to stab him?

Esther: you weren’t there. You didn’t hear what he said to me.

Achashvarosh: what did he say?

Esther: “what are you gonna do, stab me?”

Achashvarosh, nodding: that’s fair.

[jincorrectquotes]

Achashvarosh: Ow, my armkle!

Mordechai: Your what?

Esther, sighing: his wrist.

[jincorrectquotes]

Achashvarosh: hey, if you put “violently” in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Mordechai: violently studies.

Esther: violently bakes.

Achashvarosh: violently parties.

Esther: violently murders H*man.

Achashvarosh: violently supports the previous comment.

[jincorrectquotes]

[in the Royal closet]

Achashvarosh: Mordechai?

Mordechai, a few rows over: yeah?

Achashvarosh: are sweatpants bisexual?

Mordechai: ...you mean unisex?

Achashvarosh: sure

[jincorrectquotes]

Achashvarosh: do you know why koalas aren’t classified as bears?

Esther: because they’re marsupials.

Achashvarosh:

Esther:

Achashvarosh: [starts to leave]

Achashvarosh, mumbling under his breath: because they’re marsupials-NO, IT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE THE KOALAFICATION.