#bored jew with nothing better to do

Jewish memes and incorrect quotes because why not

[writtenfoxscreams]

So, I recently learned about the “say their names to save their lives” campaign on social media that has helped Iranians sentenced to die by the regime in the past.

I am now asking you guys for help with that again.

There is an Iranian Jew named Arvin Netanel ben Siona, whose execution date is set for this Saturday. The Iranian Jewish community have tried endlessly to pursue his release, but to no avail.

REPORT: Jewish Man Scheduled to Be Executed by Iran on Shabbos - VINnews

IRAN (VINnews) — A twenty year-old Jewish man is tragically scheduled to be executed by Iranian authorities on Shabbos, according to Iranian

Please spread his name.

[jincorrectquotes]

Things I’ve Heard in College

Non-Jewish person: So we’re approving an event for the Sha-bad (instead of Chabad)

[jincorrectquotes]

Dovid: *exists*

Shaul: The lion, the witch, AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH

[magnetothemagnificent]

Even funnier when you factor in that David is from Shevet Yehudah (Lion) and Shaul had had an encounter with a witch/necromancer lmaoooo

[jincorrectquotes]

WAIT because while writing the quote I realized that and it made it 10x funnier to me so I’m very happy that you noticed too. 

[jincorrectquotes]

Dovid: *exists*

Shaul: The lion, the witch, AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH

[jincorrectquotes]

[jincorrectquotes]

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POV: you’re a farmer in Beit Shemesh and two Plishti cows have just rolled in to town

[jincorrectquotes]

Moshe @ B’nei Yisroel in the midbar:

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Balaam: *hits the donkey*

The Donkey:

The Angel:

[jincorrectquotes]

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Pinchas:

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My neighbours are playing music really loudly, but it’s Omer Adam, so I have mixed feelings about the situation.

[jincorrectquotes]

Shmuel: This is what God needs you to do

Shaul: *does the opposite*

Shmuel:

Shmuel: We’re crowing a new king

Shaul:

[jincorrectquotes]

In Judaism we don’t say “good” or “fine” when someone asks how we are, we say “Baruch Hashem” and I think that’s beautiful

[jincorrectquotes]

Things I've heard in yeshiva

Me: Good morning

My Teacher: Good morning! How are you?

Me: Good. How are you?

My Teacher: Baruch Hashem!

[jincorrectquotes]

Things I’ve heard in yeshiva

Student One: Student Two, does your grandfather speak Yiddish?

Student Two: Uh, he understands it. From working with people. But he’s not Ashkenaz.

Student One: Okay.

Student Two: Why are you asking?

Student One: why do you want to know?

Student Two: it’s just a really random question

Student One: well, I can’t tell you

[jincorrectquotes]

Things I’ve heard in yeshiva

Student One: *jogging*

Student Two: Student One what’s happening

Student One: *still jogging* mincha!