Thoughts of a Schizotypal Composer
I know my creativity is impacted by my schizotypy, but it’s never the source of my inspiration. What’s more, it’s never something I can find a place for in my music. I have tried emulating my experiences with psychosis in my music, particularly the episodes I experience. It didn’t amount to much.
The impact that my schizotypy has on my creativity is not because it is a source of inspiration, but because my whole perception of the world is different than the average person, and that directly affects how I write music. This paragraph draws from a post by @shadescrawls about their perception of the world affects their writing.
What I haven’t identified just yet is how that perception makes my music different. Oftentimes what I compose makes sense to most individuals, whereas a lot of the explanations my mind comes up with for ordinary things are far from ordinary.
I’ve lived with my schizotypal for ten years, but was only diagnosed ten weeks ago. This is all very new to me. I’m much more self aware than I was before, but I have a lot of questions that will take time to answer.
How the schizo spectrum affects my creativity is one of those questions.