Feminist Illuminati
About a year ago, I went to Drunk Feminist Films. It was a good time – a theatre full of people watching <movie about cheerleading whose name I forget>, getting drunk, and loudly calling out sexism & gender stereotyping & racism & rape culture & heteronormativity and other such things. Anyway, at this event there were buttons for sale, and I got some.
The button I got said “Feminist Illuminati”. There was a triangle eye pyramid and everything. The joke being that this is the secret cabal that runs the world, fucks shit up for men, and so on. Now, I never got any such invitation. But I did get this button.
And for a year since then, I wore it on my hoodie. It’s pretty small, doesn’t attract too much attention to itself, but a nice accessory that occasionally people would ask me about.
But, just today, I noticed I’ve lost it. It wasn’t on a very high quality pin, and I may have ran wearing it, or pulled it off by having my coat on top of my hoodie, or something. It’s not in any of the obvious places I thought to look, so it’s probably gone.
And that leaves me thinking: how do I want to do my activism? I’m pretty quiet in my convictions, and furthermore easily swayed by whatever arguments I hear recently on a given topic. I know this about myself. And yet. There are causes I believe in; feminism is one of them. Equality, access to health care, the rule of law, environmental protection, yada yada standard-issue leftism. (What, on tumblr? Shocking!!)
There’s more to it than that, as I hope there is for any thinking human being who isn’t a heavily-debated list of platitudes on a party platform, but since the purpose of the current post isn’t actually for me to fully articulate my political views, we’ll leave it at that. The point is there are some things I believe in. And there’s also my disposition/willingness to argue with random strangers/desire to work towards political aims. And while being generally quiet and reserved is fine, it’s dumb if that gets in the way of doing any thing for things I believe in. Though it’s also dumb if it burns my out and I’m adrift in a sea of ambiguity while loudly yelling at people who won’t listen and eroding my own capacity to do the things I would like in my life. A balance, of sorts.
Yes, I no longer have that button – a quiet but visible humorous statement of my beliefs. (On second thought, that button had too many adjectives and I’m glad to be rid of it.) But I still have those beliefs, and, particularly as US and global institutions groan under the weight of anger and hatred and ignorance and malice, it’s time to step up. Donate money to things, if not time. Yes, try to make good donations – research the recipients, demand accountability, build relationships – but don’t let this get in the way. And speak up, too, without a button to do it for you.