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Ducks in a Row

Many things have happened since my last post. I’m just going to be direct about the three things that have brought me joy, anxiety, excitement, confusion, deliverance, and insight these last few weeks.

Industry Event. For all graduating bachelor degree students we’ve received an opportunity to perform in front of invited talent agents, managers, and casting directors. Exciting right? Yes, mostly. I mean I’ve always sucked at ironing so making sure my coral dress shirt was perfectly wrinkle free was kind of a struggle, but that’s such a trivial thing to bring up. What did I have to prepare? A scene by Neil Labute and a monologue by Richard Greenberg. I’ve been preparing these for a while and I was anxious beyond belief, but I was ready. At the end of the day this is what happened. My scene was fantastic, my partner and I were lucky enough to have received the only laughter from the audience that day. My monologue, well, that’s a different story. It was just one of those moments where I was coming down from one character and transitioning into the other. I said the second line of the monologue instead of the first. God help me. But because I’ve been trained how to handle these kinds of situations I covered it wonderfully. As you can assume, when I walked off stage I was pissed, but my performances were grounded, whole, sensitive, open, and funny. That was what I desired to deliver and that’s what I did. So I’m proud of that.

Showcase + SHUT UP!!

The entire graduating class depending on majors have been divided up into groups for a senior showcase which will be a selection of material to be showcased the day of graduation. From the beginning of the semester we had the opportunity to pitch material and were also given material by our directors to rehearse and pitch for them. It’s week 13 of 15 and we’ve had our final line up of material chosen for a few weeks now. I’m not a huge fan of the stuff I’m performing, but it’s my directors show and all I can do is take this opportunity and SLAY. As of right now though, I’m frustrated. Showcase feels disorganized and incomplete, but all I can do is just give it my all and stay positive. The only thing that is driving me fully insane is this week I’ve noticed since we had our industry event EVERYONE cannot shut up about asking, “have you gotten a call yet”? “has an agent called you yet”?, “Do you have any interviews lined up yet”? OH MY LORD, SHUT UP! Can we just be professional and not act like we’re in high school. I don’t think people realize that when you ask that question over and over and over it just seems like we’re doing a show in educational theater and people are asking have you seen the cast list. This is real life now, respect privacy and please shut up.

I’m feeling positive and pray things will go in the right direction. I just know in my heart and soul this is what I’m meant to do and all I can say is I’m being a pineapple.

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An Actor's Vocabulary

ETERNITY: The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line. PROP: A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor exactly 30 seconds before it is needed on stage. DIRECTOR: An individual who suffers from the delusion that he/she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review. BLOCKING: The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner so as to have them not collide with the walls, furniture, or each other, nor descend precipitously into the orchestra pit . Similar to playing chess, with the exception that, here, the pawns want to argue with you. BLOCKING REHEARSAL: A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night. QUALITY THEATRE: Any show with which one was directly involved. DRESS REHEARSAL: The final rehearsal during which actors forget everything learned in the two previous weeks as they attempt to navigate the 49 new objects and set pieces that the set designer/director has added to the set at just prior to the DRESS REHEARSAL. TECH WEEK: The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute. This week reaches its grand climax on DRESS REHEARSAL NIGHT when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown. See also Hell Week SET: An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period,defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space. MONOLOGUE: That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if he forgets a line, no one can save him. DARK NIGHT: The night before opening when no rehearsal is scheduled so the actors and crew can go home and get some well-deserved rest, and instead spend the night staring sleeplessly at the ceiling because they're sure they needed one more rehearsal. BIT PART: An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else's lines and mention repeatedly that he or she has the smallest part in the show. DARK SPOT: An area of the stage which the lighting designer has inexplicably forgotten to light, and which has a magnetic attraction for the first-time actor. A dark spot is never evident before opening night. HANDS: Appendages at the end of the arms used for manipulating one's environment, except on a stage, where they grow six times their normal size and either dangle uselessly, fidget nervously, or try to hide in your pockets. STAGE MANAGER: Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep her from killing the actor who just decided to turn his walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea. LIGHTING DIRECTOR: Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that's going wrong. LIGHTING DESIGNER: Individual who whines, bitches, throws fits, and says "This is the last show I'm doing here! I swear to God!" (rinse, repeat).... ACTOR [as defined by a set designer]: That person who stands between the audience and the set designer's art, blocking the view. Also the origin of the word 'blocking.'. STAGE RIGHT/STAGE LEFT: Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors crazy. (e.g. "...No, no, your OTHER stage right!!!!") MAKE-UP KIT: (1) [among experienced Theater actors]: a battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of desiccation, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted pencils, bobby pins, braids of crepe hair, liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes and a handful of half-melted cough drops; (2) [for first-time male actors]: a helpless look and anything they can borrow. FOREBRAIN: The part of an actors brain which contains lines, blocking and characterization; activated by hot lights. HINDBRAIN: The part of an actors brain that keeps up a running subtext in the background while the forebrain is trying to act; the hindbrain supplies a constant stream of unwanted information, such as who is sitting in the second row tonight, a notation to seriously maim the crew member who thought it would be funny to put real Tabasco sauce in the fake Bloody Marys, or the fact that you need to do laundry on Sunday. CREW: Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic. MESSAGE PLAY: Any play which its director describes as "worthwhile," "a challenge to actors and audience alike," or "designed to make the audience think." Critics will be impressed both by the daring material and the roomy accommodations, since they're likely to have the house all to themselves. SET PIECE: Any large piece of furniture which actors will resolutely use as a safety shield between themselves and the audience, in an apparent attempt to both anchor themselves to the floor, thereby avoiding floating off into space, and to keep the audience from seeing that they actually have legs.

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