#actually 5

[randomalistic]

I HATE HAVING 4 VIDEOS I WANNA MAKE RIGHT NOW ok I just have to do them 1 by one and ok all at the same time? no. NO . Ok maybe a little

[aquablues-archive]

DOYUM ꕥ 'JUST BEGUN' TRAILER

[cute-suggestions]

Your personality is so adorable lol you come off so youthful and innocent. It's kind of refreshing after being surrounded by cruelty and cynicism to see someone so wide-eyed and cute. And the way you talk about your ldr BF is also really cute. You kinda cheer me up every time I visit your blog. Like right now I'm sad bc my dad yelled at me and visiting your blog made me a little happier. Thanks for being cute and nice. Also are you a teenager? You seem too innocent and sweet to be an adult lol

oh my ////// yes hi hello i am a smol teenager i’m only 15 ^^ i’m glad this blog could cheer u up tho!! the way u described me is so cute asdfghjkl

[grown-man-woozi]

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[tokyomanjihoe]

if commissioning selfship art didn’t feel too self indulgent i would have three pieces

[lavender-insights]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨

Another 5 things I like about me? Geez y'all are assuming I like me a lot.

Ummm

I can improvise pretty well

I'm a team player

I'm not into NFTs or shilling crypto

I don't drink

I've gotten a lot better with numbers

[hgsn-moved]

WILL MANGA AUTHORS PLEASE STOP HORRIFICALLY TRANSFIGURING THE CHARACTERS I LIKE???????

[making-healthy-a-habit]

So if anyone cares, or if they don't, I just want to put this down in words so I don't forget. The other day I kind of had an epiphany of sorts. Something I've been waiting for to really motivate me, because although there are so many reasons to get healthy and lose weight, I haven't really been super motivated for long periods of time. The other day though, I was trying to find something to wear and I was supremely unhappy with everything. Let's take a minute to recap the past year or so. In January 2015 I really started trying to lose weight, I went to the gym 5x a week, I ate pretty healthy, and I lost weight. Not because I was poor and couldn't buy food, but because I was really trying. I lost 30 lbs by my graduation that May, it was great. But that summer I moved apartments and got a new roommate, and although I love her to death (she's been my bff for 9 yrs now), she is not motivational at all. My previous roommate had been super into eating healthy and exercising and it was nice because we had both been working towards a common goal: a healthy lifestyle and losing weight. (Please note, I am not blaming my new/current roommate for any of my regression and lack of progress, she is just one of many factors that have contributed to my mindset) My new roommate on the other hand was always naturally very thin without eating healthy or exercising. Even though at first she was super interested in cooking healthy meals together, that quickly changed. I think her problem was that I've never had a "normal" job schedule and she would get off work at 4pm and be starving, so instead of us ever cooking together, she would usually get some sort of fast food and eat on the way home. I can slightly understand because she Did grow up eating dinner at 4:30ish, whereas 7:00pm was an early dinner for me and usually my family ate at 8. So I get that. Her penchant for fast food, along with our apartment complex not having any grills (grilled chicken was A MAJOR staple before) and my general laziness/tiredness from working a mostly full time job led to me eating fast food or precooked unhealthy foods most of the time. That environment where we just fed off each other's laziness did not have a good effect on me. Then came the exercise excuses. I lost our apartment gym key within the first month and didn't have the money/want to pay for a new one. Also barely making minimum wage I didn't have enough money for a gym membership. Then I told myself (and this is actually true, but I could have found other ways) that "this is PHOENIX. ARIZONA. And you can't go exercise outside in the 95-100°+ heat that occupies our city for a large part of the year!" TL;dr I gained the 30lbs back. Back to now... Recently, I have decided that even if I could fit into size 18 pants, I should really wear size 20 so I actually look okay in my pants. But when I was trying on clothes the other day I just hated the way I looked in everything. It wasn't that my size 20 pants didn't fit, they do, a little loose too, but everything I tried to pair with them looked awful! I had some clothes from about 6-7 months after my graduation, when I hadn't gained ALL of the weight back yet and I could barely fit into some of them. I could put them on but they didn't look good. And a bunch of my dresses from graduation and before barely fit me anymore or don't fit me at all. I just felt really gross and for the first time I saw myself as others might see me and it was awful. I didn't feel like myself, not that I'm really sure who "myself" is, but I didn't feel good. I know losing weight shouldn't just be about your looks, but it's always gonna be about that, at least a little bit, and this just may be the epiphany I needed. Anyways, let's do this.