Gonna be vulnerable on main for a second. I just got diagnosed with arthritis in both of my hips. I’m reminded of how lonely being chronically ill has been. How angry I am at my body, how angry I am at medical providers for failing me repeatedly, how angry I am at many of the people around me for failing to try to understand what I deal with and failing to try to consider my needs. So far, almost no one has had anything to say to me that has made me feel supported in this time. As a chronically ill person, I’m so tired of feeling alone, of feeling so little support or care from others when it comes to my disabilities, because people would rather let you suffer alone in silence than do the work of approaching an uncomfortable topic and risking potentially saying something that comes off as politically incorrect or whatever.
It’s already so so isolating dealing with health problems that are relatively uncommon for your age group, then on top of that, it’s double isolating how little people seem to care about what you’re going through. I don’t want to be pitied, I don’t want to be the center of attention due to my disabilities, I don’t want to be coddled. But, god, I just wish I felt seen and heard and cared for. I wish it felt like anybody gave a shit what I went through and what I’m still going through. I wish I felt the sentiment, from anyone in my life, “I may not completely understand what you’re going through, but I’m here with you and I know your pain was and is real and I’m sorry that you have to deal with this bullshit, it’s not fair and you don’t deserve it”. That, right there, is really all I want right now from anybody. And yet, it seems like even that is too much to ask somehow. I sound like a broken record I know but I’m just so sick of suffering not only from the physical and emotional pain inherent to chronic illness, but also the pain of isolation.
