#actuallyautistic?

[incandescent-justice]

@girlonabridge saw this on twitter and pointed it out to me. Haven’t been on the #actuallyautistic tag for a week or so, so I don’t know if it’s there already, but I just wanted to share it because important.

[gmos]

three genders

spinny chair

wheely chair

rocking chair

[autismus-obscurus]

How can a 2-minute call to book an appointment with someone make me damn near have a panic attack but a 30-minute call from a random student in Texas who I promised to help out with their study is no big deal?

[greenemeralds-goldenpower]

Asperger..

Just something personal that I needed to get out my chest (or head?)

So I’ve made different tests about Aspergers and made research about it for months and, for me, it seems I do have it. Many symptoms resonate with my entire life, so much it’s scary.... After the reading and testing and researching and introspecting, I’m convinced. I have this condition, I have almost all of the symptoms and some I don’t have now were present in my early years. This explains so many things, damn that’s really scary...

There are also things that are similar with the INTP personality type though. 

I wonder, can one be INTP and also aspie? An INTP aspie girl... yay?

[incandescent-justice]

So I haven’t really said anything on here about my first ASD assessment session, and I thought I should do some kind of write up - more for myself, that I keep a note of how it’s going. Any UK folk who were diagnosed as adults, I’d appreciate any advice or input you might have. And those who are going through the same process - I’m open to compare notes/commiserate.

Basically, it seemed to be an interview version of the Cambridge Uni EQ and AQ questionnaires, which they’d already sent me to fill in, plus the Eyes test, and a few posed situational photos that I had to identify what was happening and what the emotions were.

I found the whole experience exhausting, came out with a pounding headache and just “spent”. I apparently did pretty badly at the Eyes test. I’ve looked at it before, a while back, but being watched doing it is much harder. I also struggled with the situational photos a bit. Questions wise, the main interviewer kept stopping me, having asked questions about my special focus topics, and when I continued on at one point did ask why I felt the need to do that - and it was like “you asked me a question, I hadn’t answered it properly.” Obviously....

Anyway, they decided that I do show some signs of ASD and therefore they want to continue the assessment, and the next session will be in 6 weeks or so. Gives me time to recover from the sensation of being a lab rat......

My thanks to @girlonabridge for her support, and @a-modern-major-general for sharing her experiences - this is one hell of a weird process to go through....

(Tag wise, I’ll be using #actuallyautistic? And #autismassessment if you want to block these.)

[incandescent-justice]

Me: gets phonecall offering cancellation appointment for ASD diagnosis clinic.

Me: agrees to appointment, and gets thorough directions.

Me: spends the next hour pouring over iMaps and Street View trying to work out the directions on the map.

I’ve got it down to one of three buildings now. And they’re not large buildings, so it should be fine.

Probably not going to sleep between now and then though.

[incandescent-justice]

Today in Danielle really struggling to read a situation...

So I’d been quietly worrying that I’m making a fool of myself over the ASD assessment, that it’s all in my head... Anyway, I went to Mass. And as usual, headed into the sacristy to get my coeliac host, and had a chat with the sacristan and our youngest curate (he’s lovely, same age as me but only recently ordained). Fr says “So Danielle, would you be willing to do the First and Second Readings, the Gospel Acclamation, and the Prayers of the Faithful? Oh, and be the Altar Server too?” And it was only him saying the last bit that made me think he might possibly not be serious - but I still had to check. Because I do fill in periodically when someone just doesn’t turn up. Turns out he was joking in entirety.

Similarly, after Mass, we were chatting, along with the Organist. About the joys of late night/on call work of a curate... And Fr makes a few jokes (and he made clear that they were jokes, and added a “God forgive me” as well) about you could wish people would just get on with dying sometimes, when it’s, y’know, 3am. Which reminded me of something an acquaintance once told me of a Dr in one of the city hospitals, on the geriatric ward, he would come in on the night shift and say “open the windows nurse, and let the Angel of Mercy in” (I’m fairly certain she did nothing of the sort, I might add). So I mentioned this, and all of a sudden Fr’s not laughing anymore and says I’ve ruined his day, and I’m just...”but you literally just joked about flicking the switch when you go into a hospital room to give the patient a hint” - I just don’t understand? Why is that funny and the other not? (In the context of neither actually being true/things that either men actually did.) 🤷🏻‍♀️

On the plus side, I told my faith dad (he’s the permanent Deacon in our parish now) about having begun ASD assessment and he was really supportive, and not at all shocked or dismissive (which I half expected him to be, in the nicest possible way) so that was nice.

[incandescent-justice]

When you finally tell your Mum you’ve been referred for ASD assessment and she looks at you like a comet sized lightbulb just went on over her head comic style and then says “oh my God, it all makes sense!”