hi this post has changed a lot but I prommy it's the last time
also fair warning this post is post is longer than the book of genisis /j
important note: I was editing this actively as new ppl weighed in and gave me new perspectives on things because I'm genuinely curious about how others feel on this and if my opinions shift I'd rather be honest about that than pretend to stand by something I don't fully believe anymore. I've decided that I'm done messing with this post now and it's gonna stay how it is now
so many ppl like the idea of trans Jax and I do too but the only things I've seen surrounding trans Jax is Jax being transfem
as a trans guy tho I'd always had the feeling that that he's transmasc
he's shown to care a lot about coming across as masculine, his room is pretty damn fem, he has a specific distaste for school and by extension animes about it, he seemed to want nothing to do with the beach and was the only one to never get a swimsuit, he was beyond upset when he had to wear the maid dress but also seemed rather familiar with how to move around in both a dress and heels, he was visibly super uncomfortable in the line dancing outfit, him not wearing anything in his near-abstraction/dead friend themed acid trip scene seemed like it symbolized him being accepted and cared for without having to hide anything, and his torture scene is him stripped down to his barest self as the people he cares about most berate him and laugh at him for the things he's tried to hide most
adding to the list is the spudsys nametag just saying "I don't care" (at first thought of it as bro just not caring enough to make a nametag but that doesn't seem very cis), the annoyance at Gangle calling him "Jaxy boy" (which only applies to mtf Jax), and the jealous sounding remarks about zooble's ability to change their body (I thought Jax was just being a smartass or smth)
And yes it makes a ton of sense for that all to be interpreted as Jax being terrified to confront the fact that he very well might and doesn't know/already knows and hates that he has far deeper of a connection to femininity and womanhood than he wants to admit
I always saw it as Jax running from a traumatically painful past of girlhood being forced onto him throughout his childhood rather than him desperately trying to ignore that nearly incomprehensible (at least at first) pain of dysphoria in the hopes that he'll stop wanting all the things he's been told he should never want growing up
Either way (s)he's had to go through the torment of doing everything you can to convince yourself that the yearning for everything you've been told you're not your entire life will eventually fade away and you'll eventually "go back to normal", only to have the yearning become so strong that you'd rather not live at all than have to live as everything you've been told you're supposed to want to be and are broken for not
tho someone pointed out why would glitch do so much maid jax if he was ftm and honestly I never thought about that before bf my transmasc Jax headcanon goes back to before maid Jax was a thing
OK THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS REAL:
I did my own looking into everything and mother of pearl have I been disproven (in my opinion anyway). There's so much pointing to transfem Jax/Daisy and I missed a shitload of it bc I was missing the context that goose has given us. I always enjoyed it but was skeptical of it at first. now I actually understand everything and feel rather silly for having put all the pieces together in the order that makes the least sense. not to mention that I've been projecting onto Jax way too hard pretty much since ep 2 but didn't remember to consider that
anywho if you make it through this adhd and dysphoria fuled clusterfuck of a post you're a real one and probably just as fascinated with Jax as a character as I am <3 and (somewhat) likely not cis either
