Hello everyone. I know that many people have been messaging me and asking how I am, especially after the war in my country when I completely disappeared. And I really apologize if I caused you any concern by disappearing. Although I was in touch with a few of my close friends like Moni and Christine, even if only briefly. But now I'm here and I want to give a full explanation of my situation.
Well, first of all, I've to say that seven months ago, after a difficult experience, I decided to focus on myself and my healing. And it was going well. In fact, great progress and I was ready to rejoin fandom for Christmas or the anniversary of my main blog @dia-souls. I was completely recovered until a month ago, hell began in my country. And when I say hell, I'm not kidding.
Protests began against the government in my country due to economic and livelihood problems and we hoped to fight for freedom and win. But what happened was that the government answered us with bullets. They cut off the internet and cut off our connection to the rest of the world. And according to published statistics, it has killed at least 36,000 people so far.
I'm sorry to say this, but I'm no longer alive. I have no heart left. I have no reason to live or hope to continue. 6 of my dearest friends are dead. 3 of my relatives were murdered. And my fiancé was killed. That's right, my fiancé. My sweet, loving boy. The kindest, most precious person in my life. I never revealed that I had a boyfriend. We got engaged two months ago and we had hopes for a great future. But now I'm left alone. Without the love of my life. And I wish I was dead. I wish I could join my friends and my fiancé.
It's been two weeks since my fiancé's death, and now that I have limited access to the internet, I feel ready to talk about it.
Next, I have to say about myself. The last plan I had to return to this fandom was the anniversary of my main blog @dia-souls , which I prepared a post for. I will publish that post on the anniversary of the blog, and I don't know when I can return. I had a lot of plans for my blog, but right now I need to be alone for a while. I need to get over these events and this great sadness. Thank you all for asking about me, I really appreciate you.
Maybe one day I can go back and write that long novel for Yui that I always wanted to. Maybe one day I can put more emotion into that novel and even write my own story.
My only hope was freedom. My fiancé's hope, my friends' hope, and the people of Iran's hope was freedom. I hope we can achieve it.
And my country may cut off internet again so goodbye till then.
In the hope of freedom. 🇮🇷 🖤
