Hello everyone! I love this blog so much and seeing it go neglected for so long really weighed heavy on my heart. Me and Kat both agreed it was time for something new and to achieve that we need new admins, new ideas, new content and, maybe even new groups~
I really hope a lot of you will apply so that we can bring the blog back to its former state together!
Summary: Reminiscing on your first love.
Members: Yixing (Lay) x Reader
Type: Angst, some fluff
Length: 1080 words
Lmao this took way longer than I wanted. Honestly getting back into writing after so long was HARD and this probably, definitely isn’t my best work but it’s a start and one I hope you can enjoy. Lowkey based on my own ex (yikes) potentially 1/6
- Admin Kain
“Have you ever dated a corpse? I have.” The corners of my lips twitched at the distant memory running through my mind. “Not in the literal sense of course, but he may as well have been.” I was sweeter back then, more innocent and naive than I am now and, more so than I probably should have ever been. But who could blame me? After all, he was my first love.
The spring air carried a sweet aroma and with the gentle breeze caressing my skin; it felt as if I were in a dream. The warm sun rays danced across my skin through the tree branches and to make it all better he was sitting next to me. Yixing was an upperclassman of mine and just the thought of him would have my cheeks burning a fierce crimson. With every breath he would take it would feel as if he was stealing my own and when I would look into those soft brown eyes my stomach would be battered by a thousand butterflies twisting and twirling around each other.
Yet, Yixing carried a heavy air about him. Even after meeting him once I could pick him out of a crowd, identify him from behind, recognise him at a distance. Yixing’s presence always felt so unnatural but at the same time so alluring. There was something off about Yixing but that something was so unmistakably him and so, in a way, very captivating.
Yixing was impossible to read. His actions never had a clear motive or reason and, for some reason, when he had asked me to meet with him, it felt as if it was something I shouldn’t do. So why did I? A stinging sensation. It’s a question I still don’t know the answer to.
He was an artist and true artists always have such a sensitivity about them, a sensitivity to the world around them, the people, the environment and, maybe that is what made Yixing so different from those around him, he was always so aware and yet lost in his thoughts. Even in that moment. Yixing didn’t look away from whatever project he was working on at the time and even though he wasn’t looking at me, I could swear I felt his eyes burning into me. “You came.” The words were barely audible over the scratching of a pencil against paper. Back then even two simple words would have me melting from the inside out. It’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? But that’s who I was back then.
“Why are you always watching me? Do you like me?” He was so nonchalant and bold at the same time I was completely caught off guard. If someone approached me like he had today I would likely only groan but back then I thought it was so cool and charming and my now burning complexion gave him all the answer he needed. “Let’s date then.” was his only response before he got up and walked away. I, on the other hand, was left swooning like the immature child with I crush I suppose I once was.
During the school hours, Yixing was always too busy to spend time with me. He had more important things to do, like spending time with his friends, instead. He was also a member of the music club and would have to stay late at school. Every week I would be two hours late home just so I could give him his favourite drink and snacks. Our “dates” were always especially thrilling with him working on some project or another and not listening to a word I say but the worst part was that I loved it. Looking back on it now it’s embarrassing how foolish I was but, back then I was so in love and I knew that Yixing was the one.
With just the sight of him, I would feel a tightness in my chest and lungs would ache from trying so desperately to grasp at some oxygen. My heart felt as if it was constantly swelling with emotion and could burst at any second. I was so pure and in love and he never noticed, he never cared to. I don’t know why Yixing had asked me to date him or why he kept me around but what I did know is that with every ignored “I love you,” every rejected kiss and, every time he raised my hopes to the heavens just to send them plummeting back down it felt like thousands of shards of glass cutting into my heart one by one.
Technically I don’t think me and Yixing ever broke up. I stopped texting and calling, it’s not like I ever got a response anyway, I stopped waiting for him after school and stopped arranging dates and, he never said anything. He never said hello to me, never checked if we were okay, if I was okay. For all that sensitivity and observance he never really noticed me. Yixing isn’t a bad guy by any means he was just “distracted” and that’s okay.
For all that happened, I don’t think dating Yixing was a waste of my time. He never gave me any tangible gifts but he helped me to discover one of the greatest things I carry with me to this day and that’s my maturity. I learnt to be realistic, that those fairytales don’t really exist and things aren’t just happily ever after. I learnt that even if I get the guy, he might not be the guy for me and that I have to work for my happiness.
Because of my newly found maturity, I was able to stop myself ever falling for another Yixing again and when the next ex came along I was able to look after myself. Because of that maturity that I’ve carried with me all these years, and now I’m at Yixing’s wedding. Not angry, not heartbroken but genuinely happy as I watch my first love marry his true love. “So that’s the rundown on Yixing, my first boyfriend.” My hands were linked with that of my true love’s and we both laughed in unison.
“Any other exes I know about?” The corners of my lips twitched at the distant memories running through my mind. Maybe there was one, or four.
I've finished my course work and I'll be sharing my short film shortly for anyone who would be interested as well as that I will have a Namjoon x male reader and the next part of Time's Up up in the following days. I would also like to explore the option of doing more LGBT centred content so if that is something you guys like the sound of please let me know! ALSO! It's really bothersome that we get contacted more regarding plagiarism than anything else, now don't get me wrong I think can I speak for every admin when I say I am eternally grateful for everyone who takes the time out of their day to let us know when work from the blog has been stolen but the fact that it is necessary doesn't do anything to get us to return sooner. Thank you all so much for your patience and understand over these last months - Admin Kain
So a big part of why I was unable to post on the blog was because I was swamped with college work, I'm now essentially done (I have some last moderation to do for the next few weeks but other than I'm not in college at all) since I just wrapped up post production for my FMP. My FMP is a music video/art film/kain couldn't decide on a concept. And although it's not perfect I worked hard on it so I'm pretty proud of what I managed to accomplish. I'll probably be posting it to my YouTube channel and I was wondering if you guys would be interested in watching it? If so I'll share it here! I hope to return to creating work for the blog regularly very soon and this marks me getting one step closer to that! - Admin Kain
Sorry to be annoying but my friend is doing a video project on being LGBT+ and they need questions or topics to discuss if anyone has any please share them with me so that I can't send them to him! ALSO I will have a scenario up tomorrow ;) - Admin Kain
Sorry that I’ve been MIA for the last few months, I know I said that college was coming together but honestly it’s all been a mess that’s hit me in the face last minute.
One of my first teachers resigned after three days but it wasn’t until she left nearly 4 months later that we found out she was making us to a unit that never existed. We had covers for nearly 2 months and when her replacement was due to start he never came. We then proceeded to loose our two best teachers and our PM and main tutor has been signed off with depression and we’ve been left with someone who isn’t even a qualified teacher and just found out we had less than a month to do 7 units of work.
I’ve been unbelievably stressed with everything and as much as I wish it hadn’t it’s really stopped my ability to work on the blog since enrolment.
I’m predicted a distinction which if you’re unsure as to what that is, it’s the highest grade available to my class which just makes me feel 1000x more pressured to do well.
I still want to remain active and engage with you all to the best of my ability but until summer having any regular work up seems highly unlikely.
If anyone has any ideas for quick things I can do for you PLEASE let me know because I’m desperate to have something up on the blog, it really deserves better than the state it’s in right now. I’m hoping that when we break up for Easter since I won’t be partaking in any festivities to do some live streams again on rabb.it but yeah please let me know what I can do and if you want to tell me about you days or anything please feel free to message me on the blog or @kibumshusband since that really helps me stay calm and like I said I want to engage with you all as much as possible!!!
Thank you if you read all of this, if not
TL:DR/ I’m stressed as fuck but if you want to talk or have any ideas for little projects for the blog hmu here or @kibumshusband
Summery: How will it be returning to school after your dramatic plea for Kai to date you?
Member: Sehun, Jongin (Kai) x Reader (ft. Various Idols)
Type: Angst, Fluff, School!Au
Length: 2,195 Words
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
I’m really sorry this took way longer than expected. With starting college and trying to get settled it’s been hellish to find any time at all but things should be becoming more normal now. An update on my family health, everything appears to be okay. My grandad has some suspected permanent side-effects due to his accident but is back at work and there has been no alarm since. My aunt is also better now, I’m not an expert on caner/medical lingo but she’s got the a-okay that shes 100% good to go know, thank God, and also thank all of you for your kind words and support over these testing months. It seems things are going better with my family as one of my aunts (I have a lot) is currently in her second trimester of a miraculous pregnancy (she had been trying for over 9 years with no success) and another of my aunts (her younger sister) after proposing to her then girlfriend two years ago on Christmas Day will be getting married this October! I’m a lot happier now and in a much better place with my mental health since starting college so I hope these positive life changes also have a positive effect on me and my writing!
Speaking of writing: I was writing this part on and off for a number of months so I cannot vouch for how cohesive it is but I tried my best! I really hope you all enjoy and I promise to try and have more work up in the near future! This part also sees the official inclusion of 3 new characters and the starts of one of the shorter arks I spoke of, with more to come soon! Please enjoy!
- Admin Kain
If you had thought Monday was bad, there’s always Tuesday. After your little display out in front of school word spread, fast. It turns out that someone making a, admittedly rather melodramatic, plea for one of the most desired guys in school to date them (especially after the seven minutes in heaven scandal) and then proceeds to make out with them in the pouring rain, people talk. You had been in school for a total of seventeen minutes and yet you had already seen three different people grab onto someone's sleeve and mock you by practically crying out “date me.” (It wasn’t that embarrassing, was it?) If that wasn’t bad enough Kai was completely unphased, walking beside you hand in hand, (after he insisted he walked you to school) with a grin so bright the hallway lights were completely unnecessary. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it, though. There’s something about the feeling of being with him that is beyond comforting. You were probably getting ahead of yourself but being around Kai just had that impact, he made you feel protected somehow.
You felt Kai tug on your hand as walked, turning to face him he was looking down at you with a warm smile on his lips. “Mmm...what are you smiling to yourself about?”
“Nothing,” truthfully, you hadn’t even realised you were but with the comfort you felt being lost in your thoughts and distracted from the world around you, it’s hardly surprising.
“It didn’t seem like nothing,” Kai had that signature shit-eating grin, that was clearly an effect of spending too much time with Sehun on but when he did it you couldn’t help but find it unbelievably handsome.
“It’s just that on Tuesdays the canteen sells curly fries, the best kind of fries” you muttered out with a sigh and a teasing tone. You had caved in and began dating Kai but you were by no means in love yet and you wanted to keep whatever distance you still could until things were settled.
Kai looked somewhat disappointed by your answer but just as quickly appeared to perk up once again. “Hm, I think so too.” He said in a somewhat husky, sultry tone leaning closer.
“Yikes. Just looking at you two makes me want to be sick.” At the sound of the indifferent, monotone voice Kai jumped backwards, thank God, allowing you to step back and create some distance and room to breathe. The voice came from a very unimpressed looking Kyungsoo who couldn’t remove his books from his locker fast enough.
“Speaking of sick, I heard about your boyfriend, all over the bus, gross.” Kyungsoo audibly sighed at Kai’s comment. It appears Kyungsoo has a full day planned of nursing his over-emotional and notoriously clingy boyfriend back to health. His face looked pain stricken as if imagining the crying and pleas for cuddles as we spoke.
After taking a deep breath Kyungsoo seemed back to his usual self seemingly more interested in looking after his boyfriend than feeling sorry for himself and returned to packing his things. “Yeah I know, and the woman sat in front, real charmer I have there. I’m going to leave in a bit to look after him but he wanted me to stay and get the goss on the new girl first.” Kyungsoo laughed out, you could hear his fondness for his boyfriend in the way he spoke. Nothing he said was unexpected, well nothing unexpected except the mention of a new girl, it was the first you had heard of a new student arriving...
“...New girl?” You thought out loud.
It was Kai who responded now. “I’m surprised Bora didn’t tell you? She’s on her athletic team, they’re both runners. Apparently, she’s a real goddess.” Something about Kai’s words gave you a sick taste in the back of your throat and a premature dislike for the girl whose name you didn’t even know yet.
“Cute.” You said as bitterly as possible, Kai seemed to pick up on this giving you a lopsided grin and pulling your sulking self towards his chest.
Judging by the gaze you got from Kyungsoo he seemed to pick up on it also except his eyes were laced with something different, however, was it confusion? Disapproval? You couldn’t quite place your finger on it, maybe you were just imaging the sinister undertones. “So I hear. Well...anyway, I’m gonna go, talk to you later.”
You couldn’t get out of the now awkward encounter sooner and you quickly waved Kyungsoo off “Yeah it’s about time I got to class, sent your boyfriend my best wishes!” With that, you turned on your heels and went off towards the classroom with a list of questions for Bora about this “goddess” friend of hers.
“Wait!” You couldn’t have even taken three steps before Kai was running after you. “Let me walk you,” Kai laced his fingers with yours and he lead you off towards your class.
Your mood swings when it came to Kai were giving you whiplash, thankfully he seemed to be completely oblivious. It was strange though you felt somewhat smothered but his omnipresent nature, and it was only 9 am you still had half an hour until the school day actually began, but at the same time the idea of his attention being drawn anywhere else, such as this new girl, make you want to punch glass. “You really don’t have to, you’re supposed to be in the other building.”
“I want to,” Kai answered hastily with a smile as big as the pacific ocean and somehow you found yourself unable to say no
“Clingy little shit.” You muttered under your breath and he lead you off towards class. Kai insisted on kissing you goodbye at the door, for your entire class to see but there was something sweet in his annoying personality, maybe this is why Kyungsoo likes how his boyfriend is literally glued to him so much? You turned to find five pairs of eyes watching you intently, without a word Soyou pointed to your seat.
As Kai walked through the courtyard on the way to his building he took a moment to really let everything sink in. The soft rays of light warming his bronze skin, the subtle tingling on his lips remembering the light kiss from just moments ago and the bliss he felt so intensely right now. It felt as if he was dreaming, the one person who had occupied his mind for so long was finally his, he finally felt that despite the struggles he had faced things were on the up and even though he knew it was unwise to put all his eggs in one basket he didn’t want to rain on his own parade quite yet.
It seemed however that he wouldn’t be the one souring his mood at all when his eyes locked with Kyungsoo’s icy glare. “I knew you were romantic but I didn’t realise you were also a fucking idiot,” his tone was harsh and unwavering, Kai was unsure whether Kyungsoo was about to scold him or slap him. “It’s not love, not yet. If this true love like you seem to have deluded yourself into thinking it is Sehun wouldn’t have ever been a threat to that so for you to go falling head over heels with little more than a glance in your direction is nothing short of pathetic.”
Kai was taken aback by Kyungsoo’s cruel demeanour. His friend had always favoured the tough love approach and was very no-nonsense but in this current moment, he just seemed mean. “Kyungsoo what? Why are you being like this...”
“People say some crap about kindness and weakness but you’re just naive Kai. What kind of a fool expects happily ever after, after one day.”
“Kyungsoo…”
“I’m saying this because I don’t want to see you get hurt more than you already have been but honestly this all makes no fucking sense, one minute you and Sehun hate each other and he’s plotting to steal your true love next you’re back to being the most homoerotic pair of ‘friends’ I think anyone has ever seen and now you’re walking on fucking clouds probably planning a wedding to someone who was like ‘yeah... I’ll give it a shot, I could do worse.’ and all this only happened yesterday! Am I the only one who thinks this makes no sense whatsoever?” With each word uttered Kyungsoo’s anger rose to the point that it was visible with each contraction of his facial muscles. Before Kai could even mutter a word in response Kyungsoo was storming off towards the front gate.
“DATE ME!” Heechul broke the silence with a whispered shout mere inches away from your face, there was still some time before your tutor showed up and the day began and apparently your friends intended to take full opportunity of that, causing everyone in the room to observe as discretely as possible to attempt to eavesdrop on the conversation at hand. “I AM ILL FOR ONE FUCKING DAY AND YOU’RE MAKING TWO HOT AS HELL BOYS FIGHT OVER YOU IN THE CANTEEN AND THEN MAKING BLOODY LOVE CONFESSIONS IN THE RAIN LIKE YOU’RE THE LEAD OF A DAMNED DRAMA!”
“Not to mention the fact I had softball practice” Hani muttered under her breath.
“It wasn’t intentional it all just kinda...happened,” You felt like you were in an interrogation with their eyes fixed firmly on you and Heechul’s warm breath hitting your skin and he whispered venomously in your direction.
“Ordering in when you’re on a diet just kinda happens, a drunken orgy just kinda happens, this is not something that just. kinda. Happens!” Heechul was almost whining as he spoke and with each word his tone became slightly louder and more eyes seemed to be plastered on you. You could almost feel each set as they assessed the situation and tried to find some way into hearing more of the conversation and understanding the hot issue that this situation happened to be to your peers.
“We are all as confused as you are.” An exasperated Hyorin said slumping back into her seat.
Soyou wrapped her arms around Hyorin’s shoulders “I honestly have no words.”
It seemed as if your friends disapproved of your actions and you couldn’t help but feel almost ashamed. Should you have spoken to them before you acted? Should you have waited longer before doing something? “I’m sorry I didn’t mean for any of this to happen I just got so caught up in everything I guess.”
“Oh no, don’t apologise. Kai is one of the better options, I tried to get him into bed more than once but he’s never bitten, much to my displeasure. Now that you are together...I get to know first-hand everything I could ever want and if the need arises and you want some advice or tips I will be more than happy to lend a hand, quite literally if possible.” Heechul spoke with a wide grin and teasing tone and it was in that moment you realised that they had been stringing you along.
You couldn’t help but laugh at your own gullibleness and Heechul in general. “Oh my god you’re actually the most perverted person I know.”
“Takes one to know one, it’s why you love me so much,” Heechul said with a wink.
All six of you settled into your seats then waiting for the teacher to arrive and the school day to begin. Bora was noticeably absent, apparently, she was with the new girl helping her find her way around and gather her timetable. You couldn’t help but to let your mind run wild with thoughts of this new girl, she was a runner like Bora so she was probably in great shape, as well as that she was described as a “goddess” does this mean she has a great personality or is she stunning or even both? With the excitement drummed up around her already, you couldn’t help but feel almost threatened by her arrival.
It appeared that today fate had a sense of humour as you weren’t left to ponder long. The door swung open and accompanying the teacher was Bora and besides her was a girl with cascading ebony hair, large doll-like eyes and figure to die for. It was impossible to decide on one area to focus on since everything about her was seemingly perfect, Her cat-like face shape, her pillowy, pink-stained bow lips even the atmosphere she created was so enticing and she had an undeniable charm about her without her even having to do a thing. “Class as you know we have a new student joining us today this is Goo Hara.”
starting today there was supposed to be a reaction and a scenario being posted by each of the potential admins so that you all you could read their work and let me know which ones you like the most/think are most suitable for the blog.
Unfortunately of the 10 potential admins who applied, 2 have dropped out and only 3 bothered to send me anything at all (only one of those being both the scenario and reaction.) I will still post the work I have been sent so that the effort was not wasted but I don’t know what to do from here.
I have been working nonstop on the master lists (which are /almost/ finished) and once those are complete I will have more time to work on posting content but even then just me on my work likely won’t be able to revive the blog or manage the workload..
So tell me what to do. What should I do about the admin search? What should I do about having regular content on the blog? The only reason I am still so passionate about getting this blog back to where it was is you guys. Over my time on this blog I’ve got to know and love so many of you and I don’t want to feel like I am letting you down any more.
If you have any ideas about what to do please let me know
