Moonlight - Jungkook wolf!au
➳ a/n: soooo a long awaited (lol) moonlight chapter- hope you enjoy it! :)) - admin lottie
➳ pairing: jungkook x reader
➳ genre: wolf!au, a little bit of everything tbh; angst, fluff, smut
➳ word count: 3.8k
➳warning(s): violence, mention of gore/murder
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Chapter 11:
You’ve been waiting hours. The cold morning light has revealed the extent of the damage from the Rogue attack— most of which is easily recovered and fixed. Thank God. At least, despite everything that’s happened, there will be one less thing to be worried and stressed about. You’re already on the verge of a breakdown since you’ve basically thrown one of the two people you’re in close contact with under the bus, and the other you’ve perpetually pissed off. Maybe it really is your fault this time. Maybe you’ve royally fucked it for good now.
You can see Jin standing outside the house on duty still, a purple bruise swollen on his right cheek from Jungkook’s fist and his eye all black and small. You tried to take some ice out to him to soothe it when he first arrived at the post, but he ignored it, and he told you to go back inside near emotionlessly. You’ve never seen someone look so dead in the eyes, even more so directed at you. You aren’t sure how much more hurt you can deal with, whether you induced it or not.
You sit with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders at the window in the lounge, looking over the front patch of drive, still awaiting Jungkook’s arrival. He won’t be much longer. Your wolf is stirring already, so he must be getting nearer.
You told him you loved him. Why would you do that? He obviously doesn’t love you back. You’re just a nuisance to the pack, a problem that Jungkook has to handle alongside everything else. God, you’ve never felt like such a burden. You can’t even speak to your dad to numb the ache in your chest since the landline and your mate’s computer are locked away in his office, practically taunting you it’s so close yet so far. And that means no Taehyung either; granted, that’s probably the reason the door is locked, so possibly wouldn’t be a wise decision anyway.
You trudge into the kitchen sullenly, finally succumbing to the growling in your belly and scavenging for some kind of relief. It comes in the form of cornflakes a few days out of date; as the stock in your kitchen hasn’t been replenished for about a week it’ll have to do. Maybe this is just another way the world is punishing you.
As you settle with your food, the sound of a door handle rattling is brought to your attention. Your eyes widen slightly, dropping the spoon as you jump from your stool to around the corner, just in time to see your mate shutting the door behind him slowly. As he turns, you’re immediately met with purple bags looming under his eyes and a pale face making his skin look white-washed and ill. Your wolf stirs, aching to care for him, but you don’t know what to say, or what to do.
He shrugs his coat off, dropping it over the radiator by the front door, but remaining facing the wall. He stays that way for a moment, enshrouding the room in a deafening atmosphere, before whipping round to stalk stealthily in his office.
The door slams shut behind him. You let out a breath. Then he walks straight back out.
“I’m sorry,” he announces, striding over to you. As if subconsciously, you throw yourself into his arms.
“I was a jerk and angry and stressed and I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your neck, nose nuzzling against your flesh as you curl further into his chest. This was not what you were expecting – not that it hasn’t come as a welcome surprise.
“I’m sorry I ran, too,” you respond, pulling back your head to look up at him, “I should’ve stayed with Jin, I should’ve listened to you, I-“
He cuts you off by bringing his lips onto yours, and you melt into him like caramel. The sugar drips off your lips as your hands climb up his chest onto his shoulders, his own clinging to your waist desperately. He nudges you backwards as you step behind you towards the kitchen, still holding him with a newfound urgency. When your back is flush against the kitchen counter, your mate hoists you onto the surface as you push the bowl of cereal aside and he slots himself between your legs, finally pulling back to breathe.
“Don’t apologise, Y/N,” he pants with you, “It was a shitstorm and I should’ve handled things better – it was my fault for being a shitty Alpha.”
“Don’t say that,” you respond, sternly, “You’re – we’re still so young and you don’t have to do it alone – all I want to do is help you, but you always push me away when I should be being there for you.”
He frowns slightly, “No, it’s my job to protect you, Y/N.” His response leaves you grimacing, and you push him gently out of the way so you can jump off the counter.
“Jungkook, I don’t think you understand, a Luna’s role is-“
“Y/N, I know what a Luna’s role is,” he sighs, “Let’s not argue again now, please, there’s still shitloads to do-“
“Well I’m trying-“
“I know what you’re trying to do,” he sighs, holding one hand up to his nose briefly before heading to the fridge and pulling out a drink, “You’re trying to have me let you lead a pack with me when you’ve no experience whatsoever.”
You grimace at that, “I’ve got to start somewhere.”
“Can we talk about something else?” He looks at you, bum perched on the counter as he sips his drink.
Folding your arms over your chest and with the most authoritative tone you can muster up, you order: “Tell me about your father.”
Jungkook watches you as you stand there, resolute with your words. It’s fairly apparent you must be the only one who ever dares to question him or make demands of him. Other packs wouldn’t, and Jimin certainly wouldn’t, let alone the rest of the pack’s inhabitants. Only you. You think he enjoys it slightly, though, having someone give him a bit of response.
Your mate finally puts down his drink with a deep breath, “You don’t want to hear about that.”
“I do,” you insist, fumbling quickly behind him as he trudges towards the stairs, “I do, Jungkook.”
He doesn’t slow down, instead double-steps up the spiral staircase as you struggle to keep up behind him. You won’t let him close up again – not just as you’re about to get somewhere.
“Jungkook, please!” You all but yell from behind him, the distance between the two of you growing as he steps into the bedroom while you still make your way up the last few steps.
“Just....just talk to me.” The hint of desperation in your voice causes him to stop and you nearly collide into his back. A sharp sigh leaves his lips and you’re hopeful that he’ll finally begin to open up and treat you like a mate rather than a burden... but of course, this is Jungkook you’re talking about.
“Why are you so interested in everything that involves me? Is there nothing else to entertain you?” You’re a bit taken back by his outburst, before letting out a scoff. Had you really expected anything different?
“Unfortunately, no. Everything I had to ‘keep me entertained’ I had to give up as soon as you decided to show up,” you spit back at him with clear disdain, the shock that settles onto his features mimicking yours from just seconds ago.
“Excuse me?” Jungkook’s incredulous tone challenges you to keep going. You see the fire ignite in his eyes and it triggers an adrenaline rush which pushes you over the edge to take him up on the offer, fist clenching at your sides as you continue on.
“Honestly Jungkook; one day you and your pack just show up, it turns out that we’re mates and you bring me here before I’ve fully processed what’s happening. I had to give up my pack, my family, my home to start my life anew with people I don’t know and who I’ve barely interacted with since I got here. What did you give up, huh? You, being my mate, are the one person who’s supposed to make all of this worth it and I don't know anything about you. Are you actually surprised that I’m not on cloud nine up in your segregated house where I have, as of yesterday, no friends at all?”
Although your question is rhetorical, Jungkook can’t help the physical ache it leaves in his chest to hear you say that you aren't happy being with him. He tries to convince himself that the comment hurts his own ego rather than his wolf’s bond, but the longer he stares at you, the tighter the bond feels. It’s almost as if his wolf is trying to hold on to you and keep you close to him, afraid you'll leave if he doesn’t.
The tension in the room feels suffocating as you and Jungkook remain staring at each other, waiting for the other the make the first move. You decide to break the silence, taking in a calming breath before carefully addressing him.
“Jungkook I just... I'm not asking you to tell me everything about you. You can tell me as much or as little as you want, but just tell me something. Talk to me. I want to know my mate, not ‘Jeon Jungkook, Alpha of Red Moon’, like everyone else knows. I want to feel like we’re bonded better than that.”
Jungkook clenches his jaw and looks away, considering your words. Another sigh leaves his lips, exhaling his anger and apprehension with it as his body finally relaxes and slouches over. Stretching out his taut muscles, your mate walks over and sits at the edge of the bed. Looking down at his feet, he pats the open space next to him.
“There’s a lot to catch you up on so you might as well take a seat.” A small smirk graces his face and you tilt your head in wonder as your legs guide you closer to him, hesitantly sitting down.
It’s silent for a few moments as he thinks over how to begin.
“My father… he was incredible, once. He knew the right thing to do in every single situation, how to keep the pack happy and safe and balanced… and they loved him for it. He was what made Red Moon as powerful as it is now. The loyalty of his pack made him a formidable opponent to any others, and he was admired across the world. Growing up, these incredibly powerful wolves from all over the world visited us to meet him and form alliances and friendships and to listen to him speak of his pack and his mighty prowess… not that it’s much use now.
Dad’s mate – my mother – was from an Omega family from one of the packs that visited.”
You can’t suppress the gasp that slips from your lips. An Omega? With such a powerful Alpha? An Omega is the absolute runt of the pack – there is no going lower than an Omega wolf, but usually wolves mate with those of similar rankings. You’ve never heard of such a story – and if you had anywhere else other than the horse’s mouth you aren’t sure you would’ve even believed it.
After a brief pause he continues, “My father didn’t care what ranking she was. He was utterly in love with her from the start. They were married within a few days and expecting within a few weeks.” He looks down at his lap, uncomfortably, and you gently reach out to place a caring hand on his, squeezing it softly to offer some reassurance.
He breathes in, “After I was born, they received word that there’d been some resentment bubbling within some of the lower ranks of the pack – they were angered that they were treated poorly yet this Omega from another pack was now their Luna and regarded as wolf royalty. It was jealousy. They were fucking jealous.” You see the fury rise in his eyes as you slowly rub your thumb across the veiny back of his hands.
“They’d plotted out a whole agenda. They were to wait for a viable heir for the Alpha position. They had originally planned to do it within a few weeks of my birth, but they decided to wait for an age that I no longer needed my mother. So things were good for a few years, the pack flourished under the leadership of my father and my mother cared for me at home until I started school. It was then that they deemed me capable without parents.
They lured my father out of the house with a fire one night and came in and slaughtered my mother. She’d heard them come in and thought it was an attack from another pack, so she rushed me to the saferoom, but the revolt had an Epsilon who knew the passcode in. So we were trapped and they slit her throat in front of my eyes.”
You watch as a tear slips through onto your mate’s cheek, staring blankly ahead as he involuntarily relives the moment. You shuffle closer to him and bring his hand up to your face, holding it there for warmth.
He sniffs slightly, “When father returned, he found me in the saferoom with mum’s blood all over me, trying to revive her. He immediately knew who’d killed her. Apparently he’d heard about the plotting before, but hadn’t expected anything to come of it. It was then that I saw his eyes, they – it was almost as if I could see the way the man he was slip from them. He was gone, along with her.
His sanity was questionable from that moment, let alone years later when the pack decided enough was enough and exiled him from Red Moon. He was executing masses. He blamed the pack rankings for my mother’s death and wanted to obliterate them. Starting by killing as much of his pack that he’d built over the years as he possibly could. People died for anything, and they lived in fear for too many years.
I was 17 when he finally left. Made Alpha the same day, because what’s a pack without its leader? Red Moon was fairly easily rebuilt. Word of my father’s sanity was kept within the borders, else we could’ve faced wars and conflict we couldn’t overcome without a lucid Alpha.”
It almost is too much to process. No wonder your mate is initially cold to people; his own father betrayed him and continues to attack everything he loves. The thought of it makes you miss your own father, wondering how the hell you would ever get over losing him, the way Jungkook’s lost his parents. It’s too harrowing to even consider.
“And the letter? From the box in the cupboard?” You don’t mean to pry, but for the first time he’s actually being open with you about his life.
He sighs, biting his lower lip cautiously, “He sent that to me a few months ago – well before I met you. He still believes all wolves should be equal and the rank system should be demolished. But he’s not in his right mind – without ranks there’d be anarchy, and the powerful would no longer be required to protect the weak. It would be wolf versus wolf, and there’d be massacres without consequence. The world would no longer be safe. He was trying to convince me to dismantle Red Moon and join him and the rogues in a rank-less world. But I would never yield my pack to a life like that. Never.”
You both sit in silence, both lost in your thoughts with an indistinguishable atmosphere between you. This is the story that’s made him who he is, his legacy. You feel a lump in the back of your throat when you look at him, eyes red with both grief and fury, head hung low and a forlorn look strewn across his features.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” you tell him, earnestly.
He breathes out, “I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into it. Maybe having an Alpha mate isn’t worth it after all.”
You immediately take his hand in yours and lean into him, “Don’t you ever apologise, Jungkook. I know I said some things earlier, but I promise I still chose to be here with you, and I don’t regret leaving Scarlet Oak, and certainly the last thing I would ever ask for is to have a different mate. You are perfect for me, flaws and shitty family and all.”
This makes him look back at you, a slight smile just poking at the corner of his lip. He watches you for a moment, before leaning in and stealing a gentle kiss as his arms reach for your waist. As if subconsciously, you relax into him and bring yourself round to straddle his lap.
He pulls back, “I love you, too, you know. I should’ve told you before the Rogue attack because I know how you like to overthink things, and I shouldn’t have excluded you from everything that was happening, but I do love you. Even if I don’t show it in the right way.”
An uncontrollable grin spreads across your face as much as you try and hold it back. Your mate smiles contentedly in response, leaning in to you again.
“Wait-,” you stop him, “Say it once more?”
He finally lets out a throaty laugh and it rings like a chorus of church bells in your ears, still ringing after it’s stopped and you hope it never does, “I love you.”
He kisses you on the forehead, “I love you.”
Then on the bridge of your nose, “I love you.”
On your eyelid, scrunched up from the smile spread inexorably across your face, “I love you.”
And finally he looks down at your lips, “I love you.”
__________________
After a lazy afternoon of kisses and ignorance, Jungkook excuses himself to his office to take a call from the packhouse in the town, leaving you settled on the sofa alone with your thoughts.
It would be ideal if you could reconcile with Jin – then you would have it all; your mate and your closest Red Moon friend. And that’s enough for you. And maybe a better friendship with Taehyung. You haven’t spoken to him much, but you still like him a lot. He’s intrinsically kind, from what you can tell, and that’s something you don’t often come across – particularly when speaking of pack Alphas who are traditionally cold and cut off… reminds you of a certain someone.
Thinking of Taehyung, you begin to contemplate the problem of the Rogues. Red Moon is clearly struggling, and despite Jungkook’s best efforts to protect the pack and be the best Alpha he can be, the attacks are still getting worse and more frequent. You need help, and frankly you can already expect that your mate isn’t going to be one initiating anything – especially considering him and his impenetrable pride.
He promptly finishes his call in his office, swaggering out to find you still lounging on the settee.
“Comfy?” He smiles, coming around to sit beside you, taking you by the waist and hauling your figure into his lap.
As he nestles his face into your neck, you begin to play with his large fingers, absentmindedly, “What was the call about?”
“Rogue stuff – not much progress in that department, but they’ve sealed up the well,” he responds, with a sense of finality.
You gently bite your lower lip in apprehension before speaking again, carefully deliberating over your words, “Maybe we should call Alpha Taehyung?”
Jungkook stiffens beneath you, “What?”
You nudge his face from your neck to look at him better, “I don’t mean for dinner and a show, Jungkook.”
“I should fucking hope not,” he growls.
Ignoring him, you continue: “I think we should be requesting his support if this were to reach a war we can’t handle.”
He perks up slightly at your comment, finally listening to you with half-earnest intent.
You carry on, “Taehyung is a good ally to have and he’s situated close the pack so could reach us within a couple of hours. He is actually a very kind person if you would actually give him a chance and he said we can call him whenever we need him. And I think we do need him.”
You can tell your mate is on the verge of compliance, but his jealousy still holds him back. God, this man and his hubris. You look at him, unforgivingly.
“I think you need to suck it up and be what you need to be for your pack right now.”
“You sound like a Luna.” You can tell he tries to suppress the small smirk on his face, fondness riddled through his expression.
You watch him still, seriously, “So you will call Taehyung?”
With a sigh, Jungkook throws his head back, “Fucking alright, I’ll call the bastard. Later though, we have to get down to the packhouse first for something.”
“For what?” You interrogate, suspiciously.
“You’ll just have to wait and see. I’ve had enough of you bossing me about for one day,” he squeezes your waist playfully before standing you both up to head out, enveloping your hand in his to walk over to his jeep.
The packhouse is fairly busy when you arrive; the usual people mulling about outside with Jimin handing out some clipboards to people. He holds a hand up to you in greeting from afar, and Jungkook half-smiles back before walking you by the hand into a meeting room inside.
The lights are dimmed and your mate’s skin looks soft and dewy in the darkness. He looks over you at the door, and you cannot help but lean into his neck and leave kisses gently down.
“What are you doing?” He grumbles, quiet and throatily.
You bite your lip as your hand runs down his torso, “Nothing.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you…,” he warns.
“And why not?” You smirk back, looking up at him suggestively.
He flicks his head to the door with a humorous glint in his eye.
“Hello, poppet.”