#adventures gone wrong

[littlepawz]

Wow, how tragic!

[itsbrandonderifieldphotography]

The one that got away.

It's been cloudy and raining since I got home today, and a few minutes ago it stopped, and as I went and looked outside the clouds broke perfectly and a sun beam was hitting a tree in the forest area behind my house. It was a picture perfect moment, the low dark clouds still in the background, fog forming at the top of the smaller trees, and that sun beam. So I went and grabbed my camera from my truck, and then the battery from my room where I had forgotten it on the charger this morning. I then returned to the spot I was standing and the sunbeam was gone, the fog was invisible, and I was left with a sense of loss for something that will probably never happen again.

[cannibalsexcult]

I've spent the past several hours trying to salvage some bones to add to my collection. Let me tell you, that shit is difficult as FUCK.

My best friend and I saw a deer get hit by a truck earlier and then we watched it die. I then decided to take it and try and gut it, skin it and keep its bones. Well, I was told that I couldn't do that where I am currently staying (my friend's mom was repulsed by the idea of a carcass in her backyard), so I put some old clothes and a pair of boots on, got some rope, a knife a box and a pair of latex gloves and went out into the woods. Only technically, we're right in the middle of fucking suburbia, so it was only a small patch of woods next to a park. And while I'm busy slicing through its stomach, there's blood pouring out everywhere and I'm trying not to puke, my best friend is holding his iPhone's light above me so I can see. Oh and did I mention that this was my very first time ever cutting another creature open? Yeah, it's pretty wild. All of a sudden his iPhone dies right in the middle of me slicing the deer's belly open, so I have to continue slicing it in the dark. Then I plunged my hands inside and attempted to remove the organs only to realize that they're fucking attached on the inside. So by this time, we're both like "What the fuck?" So I finally give up on skinning it and start slicing away at the neck to try and cut the head off.  And suddenly, to make shit worse, a cop pulls up next to my friend's truck, gets out of the car and starts shining a flashlight through the woods. We're freaking out, because we're not supposed to be out at the park at night and it's not deer season, so apparently, it's pretty illegal to have the carcass, even if we didn't kill it (total bullshit, I know.) And my friend is usually a pretty jumpy person and spooks easily, so he instinctively turned and bolted through the woods. My first instinct was to run, but then I realized "Ya know, I'm not hurting anyone out here, so fuck it." And I sat as still and as quiet as I could all fucking covered in blood and just waited, knowing that the cop was going to find me. All the while, I'm mentally rehearsing what I plan to tell him, because I'm sure he was certainly going to want to know why I was out in the woods so late, butchering the corpse of an animal. After a couple of minutes passed, the cop got back in his car and left. I hopped up and threw the carcass into the box, gathered my things and when my friend finally came out of hiding, we both grabbed the box and made a run for it back to his truck. Anyways, I ended up taking an axe and chopping off the head and legs and tossing the rest of the body into a nearby lake. Then I ended up having to secretly bury the head and legs, but it wasn't very deep, because I dug the holes by hand, so now I am seriously hoping that they will be safe in their spot 'til tomorrow when I can get a shovel and bury them properly. I even managed to get one of my legs tangled up in some thorns, so it's all scratched up and bleeding now. Honestly, as a bone collector, all I want are the goddamn bones, but for some strange fucking reason, it's really difficult to get bones and actually keep 'em. And now I smell like blood, Death and damp Earth, so I think it's time to wash up and get some sleep, because after all of that wild shit, I am exhausted.