#advice cw

[maydei]

Can you recommend the best brand for each type of appliance? For example Bosch for washing machines, X for fridges and so on? Thanks :)

Hi Anon! First thing first to cover my ass, I gotta say all opinions stated below are solely my own and not reflective of the company I work for, and are based on my own experience and the experiences of my customers. But I’ve been doing it for a little while, so I think I have decent advice. Starting with, if you need to buy something, you need to know how much room you have. MEASURE IT. WRITE IT DOWN. A picture tells me nothing about how tall your cabinets are. Measure the height, width, and depth. Your salespeople and your house will appreciate it.

For many things there is no one best brand, since residental-grade appliances are overwhelmingly made to compete with one another, rather than quality or longevity. The noted exceptions are Speedqueen laundry units and Bosch dishwashers. Both are the top of their tier and are worth the additional money, since they are usually easier to fixed and more reliable through the life of the unit. I could do my full schtick but it’s not even 8am and I’m tired lol. Average life is 7-10 years. After that, the parts legally don’t really have to be made anymore. It sucks, but we don’t live in a fix-it economy. If your shit breaks at six years, you’re boned. Get a new one.

BUY THE WARRANTIES. Seriously, fuck Consumer Reports for telling people they’re not worth it. Warranties have saved so many of my customers’ asses. They cover anything mechanical or electronic, i.e: natural failures on the unit. Don’t ever read “10 Year Limited Warranty” on a unit and think you’re getting a ten year full all-inclusive warranty. It comes with one year, and they probably warranty one part for ten years, like the motor which is almost never the problem. ALSO, never tell a manufacturer that YOU caused the issue. And anything to do with physical damage (ie broken door bins, broken glass on your range, broken DOORS, etc) is ALWAYS the customer’s liability. It’s indicative of improper use and tbh…. it really is. That stuff doesn’t break on its own. Companies and techs know that.

HOWEVER, I do have my favorites based on my experience with their customer service. Frigidaire/Electrolux do great kitchen and laundry products, but avoid their dishwashers. They’re very helpful if you need assistance. GE is also on my good list for this. I also love Samsung products, but it’s very important to make sure there is a Samsung-authorized service tech in your area before buying their units since Samsung is super picky about who can fix their stuff, and for example, there’s only two techs in my state and one works with my company. If you have a tech, sweet. If you don’t, you’re boned.

In terms of customer service I personally also try to avoid the Amana/Maytag/Whirlpool/KitchenAid/JennAir conglomerate because their phone hold times are outrageous and more often than not they tell us there’s nothing they can do, and their parts take forever to show up. Their appliances can be good but if you have an issue, you want help. Same with LG.

Consumer Reports is manufacturer-funded and ngl, usually full of shit. Take their advice with a very large grain of salt because honestly, in terms of appliances at least, the results are massively skewed toward certain corporations products who are massively difficult to work with. Go to a local company who sells appliances. As if they have their own delivery crews. It’s important that they have people who are on their dime who are liable for how deliveries go. If they contract their deliveries to an outside shipping company, walk away. Half the time your appliances won’t even show up if there’s bad weather, if you have a steep driveway, etc, and if you call the place you bought them, if it’s not their crew, they won’t have any idea where the delivery people are and it’s not their job to know. And make sure they have their own service support or recommend a tech in the area who is authorized (otherwise you’re stuck waiting on hold, and you’re gonna need your model/serial #, it’s gonna take a while, and you’ll be grumpy by the end), then you’re in good shape.

Also, Kenmore is not a brand. It’s made exclusively for Sears, but can be made by anyone. A customer telling me they have a Kenmore appliance tells me nothing about it other than they bought it at Sears. Ditto for Insignia, Best Buy’s in-house.

Just because something is $500 doesn’t mean it’s good, btw. And if you try to go to a company and say “I spent a thousand dollars in your store!!” as a way of being unreasonable, don’t bother. Because, like... you and everyone else tbh. I guarantee the more reasonable and patient and polite you are in dealing with people when your stuff is broken, the more us people in retail who get screamed at all day will bend over backward to help you. The best way to get no help is to be an asshole to the people who didn’t have ANY hand in making the product, i.e: the customer service minimum-wage call center people, and the salespeople (who I guarantee don’t make as much money as people seem to think we do). Your money doesn’t go into our pockets dude. It goes to our bosses. If you bought something for $500 I might get twenty, so chill, and if you’re with someone who is being an asshole to staff, make them stop. Seriously. Truly. Make them cut it out.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got and this took me 20 minutes to type on my phone. It’s full of salt, so I’m sorry about that. Speedqueen laundry, or Electrolux or Samsung front loaders. Speedqueen will last you 20 years but lux/smg will have good quality for 7-10+. Bosch dishwashers. MEASURE. Check your area for service. Ask about delivery crews. Buy the warranties. Be nice to the customer service people and they will do everything to help you that they possibly can.

BUY THE WARRANTIES.

[maydei]

🙊 I’m surprised your cats just tolerate each other, I’ve always thought they’ve bonded

lmao If you mean mutual cuddling and grooming and stuff, they don’t really do that. It’s still a  :U!!!  moment if I find them both resting on my bed at the same time. They’ll play together tho!! And I think they’d be confused if the other wasn’t around, for sure. But they’re not typically attached to each other, or very friendly most of the time. They get along much better now that I’m in a larger space.

[maydei]

to all young writers:

we see funny posts on this site all the time, snappy comics drawn by artists who have put countless hours of blood, sweat, and tears into their work, who find themselves faced with the question—how did you get to where you are? and in a perfect visual, their cartoon likeness points to a pile, a mountain of their work. all the art they had to create first in order to get where they are.

that goes for us, too. from the time you start writing, to the time you find yourself somewhere thinking you’re happy with your skill, there will be thousands of pages written and discarded. there will be hundreds of pages published. the more things you experience and the more people you meet, the more it will change the way you think, and the way you write.  time and age and practice do as much for writers as they do for artists!

every so often, i go back into my old AO3 works. my AO3 is a pretty solid  timeline of my writing, with my tumblr prompts filling in those hazy months between fics we don’t talk about ffnet or deviantart or quizilla. and you know what? there is a clearly discernible and distinctly different voice in my works in 2012 compared to 2014, to 2016, to 2018. all these stages of my life have brought changes to my writing. 

i’m not the same writer i was in my junior year of college. hell, between freshman and junior years, i changed more than i could ever define. high school? forget it! and i started writing seriously in 6th grade, y’all!

i guess what i’m saying is this: if you read a fic that changes your life and you get discouraged with where you’re at with your skill, remember that someone else is amazed where you’re at. 

you’ve not yet arrived to the place you’re going—but if you stop, you’ll never go further than the place you stalled.

keep going. you’ll get there.

it matters not how slow you go, so long as you do not stop.

[maydei]

Is it cheating if a person is married, but feels a strong connection with someone else? You can also feel the sexual tension between them? They (the married one) do tease the other person a lot, and the other person is trying to restrain themselves from doing something stupid.

I’ve been there. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.

[maydei]

Any opinion on the law of attraction?

admittedly i had to google this, but i mean it’s pretty in line with my general philosophy. i can tell you the more determined i am to have a good time, the better a time i end up having. the more determined i am to do well at my job, and the more effort i put into it, the better i do and the more i get paid. as exhausting as being aggressively positive can be, it’s worth the effort. 

and don’t mistake positivity with optimism—i’m generally a realistic/pessimistic person, but the hard truth is that the more positive you are in your interactions, the more positive people will be in responding to you. it’s really hard to be positive around a miserable person. if you want good relationships with others, you HAVE to offer something in return, spoons or no spoons, even if it’s to politely tell someone that you have very little energy but can talk to them at a later time. but for most, having someone upbeat and excited about shit that’s going on makes personal interactions a fun time. 

fake it til you make it, my dude. i feel like absolute garbage right now, i have two different infections and i’m coughing up my lungs and unnecessarily bleeding, i have a migraine and am extremely dehydrated and doped to the nines on cough meds, but i manage to get along with my coworkers and do well at my job because no one can ever tell how much pain or discomfort you’re in unless you literally tell them or look uncomfortable. if you’re smiling, they’ll never know the difference, and it makes it a lot easier for others to find ways to make you laugh when they’re not being super awkward, since there’s nothing they can do to control your illnesses and stuff. 

tldr the way i’m seeing it explained on google is new-agey, but honestly it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, so yes. i think it’s accurate. sorry i have no filters because i am sick but yes!! the more positive you are the more good things it brings!! and i say that as a person who literally has massive anxiety and depression, so believe me, i GET the no spoons thing to an uncomfortable degree. but here i am and yeah, it works.

[maydei]

What do you when you know you have to work for the bills but too anxious to do so?

Honestly Anon, if you have to work but you’re too anxious to work, it’s time to look for a new therapist, find an outpatient therapy program to help, and potentially change meds. Because the unfortunate reality is that we have to (in some capacity) work in order to survive. I’ve done all of the above. I’ve been so frantic at work and so fucked up borderline hallucinating at a job that I went into an inpatient program for a few weeks that did wonders. If you find a therapist in one of those programs that you hate, there’s a good chance it’s because they’re saying something you need to hear. Good therapists will ping your issues from a mile away, but you have to be willing to deal with them. You have to WANT to get better, and be willing to work at it. And I found even once I went through the wringer, I still couldn’t keep up with that job knowing everyone around me had seen me at my worst, so I left. 

I’m at my new job for pushing three years now, and the only reason THAT works for me is because I was completely up front with my bosses once I was hired and started to get comfortable working there, and told them that I have extreme anxiety and depression and that sometimes I may need more time and assistance to complete tasks than others. My work so far has been very accommodating, but mostly because I work hard at not needing their help. In recent memory, like the last few months, I’ve only taken one mental health day because I get myself through by saying “ok just get until noon”, “ok now make it to four”, “ok it’s four. in two hours i get to go home, why waste vacation hours?”, rinse and repeat. 

And in the event that none of these things help you, or that you need more time than being without a job is feasibly sustainable, look into getting declared disabled and setting up social security/medicaid. Though I’ll warn you, I’ve watched a close personal friend and family members go through that, and if you think working is stressful, they do NOT make SSA easy to get. But it is there for those who need it, so if you can prove that legally you are unfit to work due to mental illness, that route is also open to you.

Hope this helps <3 Anxiety comes and goes. The best we can all do is weather our way through it.

[maydei]

I’m so sad to the point of tearing up, I just realised I’m not my cats favourite human :((( and that sucks a lot but I need to be an adult and deal with it. But I’m so heartbroken I’m crying. I’m still going to play with them, feed them, clean their litter and treat them with love but it hurts so much. I don’t quite understand what I did wrong but as I’ve said I have to move on. I’m sorry I had no one to talk to and I’m just really sad :((((

Hi Anon!! Cats are strange and fickle animals tbh, and sometimes the reason they bond with people isn’t always obvious. For example, Dean saw me in a shelter and aggressively adopted ME. Binktop, he loves me, but he’s not nearly as attached and it shows in every interaction I have with him. If you want to improve your relationship with your cat, I actually highly recommend Jackson Galaxy videos on Youtube or whatnot, since he’s a legitimate expert on cat body language and behavior, and may be able to help you relate to your pet in a way you didn’t understand before. 

Sometimes even if a new person comes into your life, your animal might bond strongly with them. Weirdly enough, I usually have that effect on others’ animals; it happened to me recently, when I went to visit a cousin who had a new cat I had never met before, and they told me “don’t worry if you don’t even see her, she’s really scared of everything”. So when I saw her walk in the room, I deliberately did not look at her. I just sat quietly with my hand on the floor next to me, and made some little clicky noises with my tongue. In a few minutes, she came over because she was curious, and I kind of side-eyed her and didn’t make direct eye contact. When she shied away, I looked at her and did the ‘relaxed-cat slow blink’, and she chilled out enough to let me pet her. They were mystified tbh. But it’s all about knowing how to communicate with them, and every animal is different.

What’s most important is loving your baby the best you can, and try not to take it personally. <3

[maydei]

For someone who’s thinking of moving out soon: tips? What areas to look for? Should it be close to workplace? Should it be close to any supermarkets? Vets? How much should I save? Rent or purchase house? Deposits? Anything would be great thanks

Hi Anon! If this is your first time moving out and you’ve never had your own apartment, you’ll need a lot. Honestly I wouldn’t recommend buying a house. They are SO much responsibility and if you’ve never been on your own, dealing with a mortgage and attorneys and whatnot are so fucking annoying, lol. I can’t even handle a house. I’ve been on my own for a long time and I thought about buying a house and basically had a breakdown when I realized how much work it is. 

So here are my tips for renting/finding an apartment:

As for location, that’s all dependent on your situation. Make sure you have reliable transportation, whether that’s a car or public transit. But honestly, I don’t have the luxury of location other than that. I go by price first and foremost. What I can afford. Mine fortunately happens to be within a ten minute drive of my workplace. I have coworkers who commute more than an hour. In cities, that’s actually very common even if you don’t live very far away, because public transit takes so long. Know how long your commutes will be before you try to go anywhere. Test your route so you don’t wind up late. 

Things to look for, though, that can be deal breakers:  does the landlord cover utilities, or are you responsible? (For example, I am responsible for my electric and heating and my internet. My landlord covers water and trash removal.) Does it have parking/laundry access? (mine does not! these things are not a given! if they list washer/dryer “hookups”, but not units on site, that does NOT mean they give you a washer and dryer, and you’re probably expected to supply your own! good luck!) 

Does the place have overhead lights (this seems silly but I’ve forgotten to check once and realized I had to buy a shitton of floor lamps because the only light in the place was one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. I had to buy everything for the living room and bedrooms). Does it come furnished, or do you need your own furniture? 

Ease of maintenance in the event of an issue? What is the lease agreement? How much notice do they have to give you before they go into your space? How much notice do you have to give them before you move out? I have to give two months’ notice before I move. That’s a long time to have to think ahead.

Save a fuckton. Most places require your first AND last month’s rent before you move in as a deposit. If you have pets, be prepared to pay a pet deposit per animal, which can sometimes be a monthly addition onto your rent. If your pet fucks stuff up in the place, you can say goodbye to your deposit. Also be prepared to have your apartment search be a lot harder. Many places do NOT accept pets, and if they do, you’ll almost always see that reflected in the cost. Some allow cats but not dogs. Some don’t allow certain breeds of dogs, or animals over a certain size. All of these things must be checked before you sign your lease. Also check on how you’re expected to pay your rent. My landlord accepts checks. Most do NOT accept cash. I once lived in a place that ONLY accepted money orders, not personal checks, which was a pain in the fucking ass. Check that shit before you move in.

I also recommend saving at least two or three months’ extra before you move if you have an opportunity to do so. This is your emergency money in case of an injury or you lose your job. Set that aside. Do not touch it. That money will save you from being evicted if you, for instance, get in a car accident and can’t work, or if your job cuts back your hours. 

Moving is very stressful. I’m looking at having to do it again pretty soon, so. Haha. Not my favorite. But yeah, check a bunch of things before you move, make sure you have light bulbs and shower curtains. You need so much stuff in order to have a functional household tbh. It’s a lot, but good luck!!!