ok. so. i'm caving and making another d&d session quotes post because this is really fun. thank you, bulldog, friend o' mine, for convincing me to do this.
sessions 3 and 4. woof. 24 pages of notes. the lore dropped in these two sessions alone was crazy, i can't lie. but i am such a sucker for lore, so definitely not complaining!
i plan on working backwards until we have another session, then go in chronological order from there. so, without further preamble, these are my favorite quotes from sessions 3 and 4 of my d&d campaign and my thoughts on them!
"He's a real piece of work." - Butchie
"Certainly didn't hurt my hand much." - Maximilian Kurshahn
love playing this character because now i actually have an excuse to punch the asshole npc's that really need a good wallop. like, bro, you don't just get to call someone a bitch without facing consequences? get real, gideon lmao
"She's literally fire, Gideon." - Bonny J. Travesty
"She?? That's a woman?!" - Gideon Ahab
OH I CRIED LAUGHING. maximilian, my transfemme/genderfluid/whatever-works-best-in-the-moment, how i love you. you confuse the shit out of any man you come across, and that was my goal, goddammit. my she/they/he fire genasi queen <3. not even to mention the fact that like 5 minutes before this he was calling her "one of the guys." well, yes! but also, no!
"Watch your eyes. And mind your damn business, I can fend for myself." - Bonny J. Travesty
"I know." - Maximilian Kurshahn
gideon being a massive creep and just looking at bonny's chest the entire time she's speaking to him. no, no it's cool, gideon, just come back over here, i think you need a matching scorch mark on your other cheek in the shape of my knuckles. it's symmetrical, people like symmetry, it's for your benefit, for sure.
"We're both new, we gotta stick together." - Anemoia Basalt, to Jackson Bernardi
their blooming friendship is actually everything to me. i suddenly don't care about anything else, just give me a youtube compilation of jackson and anemoia moments. inject it into my veins.
"The more I look at Gideon, the more I'm starting to think that Gideon fucking sucks, too." - Jackson Bernardi
THE WAY WE HAD TO PULL THIS KID FROM GIDEON'S GRIMY HANDS. he is the worst role model for you, jackson. i'm sorry for intimidating you so well that now you're scared of me, but i needed to get you away from that man. see the light, sir! please! for the love of god!
"She's scary, but she's really nice!" - Anemoia Basalt, to Jackson Bernardi about Maximilian Kurshahn
ANEMOIA NO ONE COULD EVER MAKE ME HATE YOU. you are the sweetest little tortle i've ever met. and also the beefiest, with a 20 strength score. literally iconic.
"I will need that back, I think it's overdue." - Temerity Hellebore, to Butchie
overdue by 3 weeks, btw. absolutely cackling.
"His smile has been fake for so long that it's become his real smile." - Our GM, describing the mayor, Claudessen Berumensch
oh Y'ALL. this fucking guy. a wild description, for a wild dude. shady as hell in the way he became mayor. i'm convinced he ordered a hit on the last one, and just considering what we've learned recently? this is most definitely the case. what a cool name, though, i have to admit.
"Oh, look who it is." - Elisha
"You got a fuckin' price on your head or somethin'?" - Bonny J. Travesty
this two have beef for whatever reason, one currently unknown to me and pretty much the rest of the party. very very intrigued what the story is there.
"Pay like shit and people are gonna talk shit." - ???
i honestly found this amusing, because like. i mean. yeah. pay your hired muscle well and your secrets most likely won't be leaked. pretty self-explanatory, lol
"It seems like you have a pet now, Bonny." - Temerity Hellebore
POOGIE THE PIGLET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. with his endless need to consume and his little top hat!! we'll feed you all the bread you want for the rest of time, poogie. you are now the party's mascot. say hello to Poogie and the Hogs, everyone!
"We even adventured on that table over there." - Janibell Halt
OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. this old lady was so horny for butchie, i think i blacked out from laughing so much. this is the most coherent horny quote from janibell that i got down, i think, and this wasn't even the worst thing she said or did! like girl i respect the hustle, trust, but butchie does not want you, please take your hair out of that bun you put it in and RELAX.
"You look different, but looks can be deceiving." - Elisha, to Bonny J. Travesty
AGAIN WITH THE BEEF. i need to know the backstory. pls. pls god tell me.
"I bet you have nothing to lose, do you?" - Temerity Hellebore, to Bonny J. Travesty
ooohhh the divas have started fighting. their talk from session 6 was this but tenfold, however i wanted to include quotes from this anyway because they are Tea.
"This is probably going to get dirty, and you aren't gonna like it." - Bonny J. Travesty, to Temerity Hellebore
OHHHH THE WAY THAT BONNY CALLED BACK TO THIS DURING SESSION 6'S BIG BATTLE. in love with that.
"Your studies are a "hella-bore" by the way." - Bonny J. Travesty
i was trying to figure out how to type this out so it makes sense but like i don't even care because this was SO stupid funny. what a way to end an argument, bonny, truly doing the most.
"Tomorrow?" - Butchie
"Tomorrow." - Maximilian Kurshahn
holding brazen bull duo delicately in my hands :-[ current alcoholic vs. former-but-still-struggling alcoholic. tism4tism. need their drink date STAT.
"She was gorgeous, y'know?" - Willamae Carmichael
elysia we will find you TRUST. girl pls just be kidnapped or something, butchie needs you. god this entire conversation was heartbreaking, i fear.
"And we were friends?" - Butchie
"Best friends." - Willamae Carmichael
I NEED TO BE SEDATED. this isn't even the worst part of this scene, but like?? are you joking??? whoever stole butchie's memories of elysia. you should fear me. milo. the player.
"What can I do?" - Bonny J. Travesty
"How are you going to fix a situation I don't remember?" - Butchie
i need to hurl. i need to VOM. this is such bullshit. hate this game.
"She was beautiful, and she did not deserve what I did to her. She was perfect." - Bonny J. Travesty
i'm sorry?? genuinely fucking crazy. from what i can understand, elysia was a sex worker of some sort? i could be totally off base, but i'm fairly sure i'm right. so this quote makes more sense, with that possible context, but still. what the fuck did you do, bonny j. travesty.
"The way she looked at you... it was different." - Bonny J. Travesty
VOMMING. OH IT'S OVER. that's actually the worst thing to hear of a person you literally can't remember. can't do it. i quit.
"Do you want me to walk with you?" - Bonny J. Travesty
"I don't think I'll be much company." - Butchie
"It doesn't matter." - Bonny J. Travesty
don't talk to me. no one talk to me. leave me alone.
"You will discover what it means to be a mage that will have a real influence on the world." - Headmaster Vhonus
this shit was SHAAADDDY. like why are we creating a mage cult-group-thing that we find out later had a hit list with a couple of our party members on it?? hello??? answer quickly, headmaster.
"Imagine having free reign of the magic you can wield." - Advisor Harkin
no because this guy would be sooo gung-ho for ai summaries if he were a real person. like? a crystal that projects your spellbook so you don't have to have spellcasting mastery?? the gm did not intend for this to be an allusion to the use of ai and how it can be detrimental to our education, but it is.
"I don't think any magic is ever useless." - Temerity Hellebore
LOVED LOVED LOOOVED the questioning and skepticism that temerity had in this entire scene. because, yes! question these ai-using freaks! also, re-reading notes from this scene and, like. this wasn't a mayoral matter? you didn't need to tell the council? smells like a government overthrow to me. stinks of magocracy. which, government overthrow? not the issue. magocracy, though? with the way they were talking about things?? no i'm okay, actually.
"Foul eye, who is your master?" - Headmaster Vhonus
dare i say clairvoyance top 5 best spells in d&d?? hate to say that vhonus kind of ate with this quote but my GOD this shit was creepy. like either they have truesight or just happened to have casted detect magic or something similar at the same time that temerity used clairvoyance to spy in on them when they left. either way, haaaated this. so unsettling.
