I often feel like lesbians aren't "my people". In the way that I can't meet another lesbian and directly know that I'm safe. The majority of us are terf, discriminating, gay but not queer, dehumanizes mascs and butches, liberal, don't give a shit about intersectionality, or even approaching from the right wing ideology. I have never met a lesbian in real life who made me feel safe, other than my two neighbors, a 40yo certainly butchfemme couple who are anti-racist, neurodivergent, actively advocating for queer people and have evolved in queer circles.
I know I'm with my people when I'm with the butchfemme community. I know we're not perfect, but it feels right. I'm a lesbian. But I'm not here to be the lesbian who does not bother them, whom they can control, on whom they can count to keep silent. And sometimes it's complicated to evolve with the rest of the queer community when you refuse to shrink for the cishet society.