#aen2017

[matcha-lemonina]

im p happy im going back to school soon, im tired of feeling locked up in my room, and regardless it was kinda productive in that i read a shit ton, watched suits and ended up enjoying it so much and i sorta hung out a people so why are we fightin (this is towards my mom, i dont get why she got so salty??? because i told her it didnt matter who i was talking to on the phone, bc either way i still talked to them soooooo) sigh anyway lmfao 

im glad!! i had hella time to think and analyze and like lol to the end of some relationships and unfortunately ((at least to my knowledge)) one that means a lot to me is over too but such is life and im like ... well chillin, im happy because i love myself so SO much and im excited to just keep goin ya know. 

im so excited im so excited i !! i feel like the sparkle heart emoji that is real that is meeee 

shout out to my truest life pal mim bc i can’t do half the shit i do w/o your endless support tbh 

[matcha-lemonina]

I don't like to share my feelings or thoughts because I share too much, annoy the person I'm telling and end up crying. this needs to stop.

[matcha-lemonina]

I’ve already told my best pals of this, but there’s so much in my life that I’ve gotten to think about during vacation and most of that has to do with what I want to do with my career/college choices and like I think I want to slow things down in all other angles?? I made my first semester kick ass and I’ve learned SO much about what I could handle and in an essence, I feel like I could’ve done so much more (academically.)

I learned that I’m so welcoming towards new ideas and that my compassion for others has grown ultimately to areas I’ve never understood before. But genuinely looking at it, I want to focus on myself. A lot. And I mean, there’s a lot of clarifying that still needs to be done in terms of my relationship(s). Yet I look at the workload that I’m going to be doing this semester. Do I want to take 19 units, along with learn new traditions and also run events as Vice President of a student organization? All in my first year???

well maybe, lmao. We shall see.

At this very moment, my biggest concern is desperately needing to find my chapstick.

Oh and one more thing.. these existential issues that I’ve had with my name for-freakin-ever came to mind again!. I’ve gotten accustomed to rarely hearing my full name unless it’s with new people and I’ve gone through with nicknames like “Ashz” and “Ace” and I appreciate my pals for using them cos 💖💖 But I’ve also grown to like going by my initials. (Maybe the nonbinary feelios in me really appreciate that there’s no relation to anything, and it’s still genuinely me.)

So yeah, 2017 is gonna get some real domination by Aen. (pronounced Ay-enn.) Forreeal, I’m hella excited.