#afreefa

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Hosting the screening of Jagermeister’s documentary on Afrobeats. Interview w/ DJ Henry X and Amartey.

Watch the documentary here

[okayafrifa]

On dating..

I wrote this text about a week ago but I was too afraid to put it online. I wear my heart on the sleeve but sharing blatantly honest views, opinions and observations out in the digital sphere for everybody to judge is something else. This is a nice opportunity to start being more courageous. 

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandela __________________________________________________________ Dating doesn’t take a big part of my life but the topic is interesting enough to dedicate a few blogs to. I’ve been single for three years now and I’m totally fine with it. The only moments I doubt if I’m actually cool with being single is when my women friends tell me how they miss someone to cuddle with and talk about their endless attempts to find someone compatible to them. Those are the moments the self-doubt kicks in and I ask myself if it has anything to do with me fearing opening up and letting someone into my heart. I usually counter that thought by telling myself I’m probably immune to the advertised romance that is being forced upon us each and every day. I'm constantly trying to convince myself that I don't fit the standard: the #1 goal of women being finding a man and settle. When I’m with my lady friends, who obviously have a different position in this, I usually feel "forced" to share any situations with men going on in my life. Even when there’s nothing going on they will ask me something like “but you are talking to some dude right?, almost forcing me to see a situation in what’s to me a platonic friendship. “I’m sure he’s not talking to you for no reason, he must like you – it’s YOU!” Like I was feeling bad that it’s not more than plain interaction between two human beings. Remarks like these bring to the surface what *they* find important and it’s tells how *they* define a complete and happy life. Am I really different? Am I really not yearning for a romantic connection?

I am my own best friend. I love to travel abroad by myself, go shopping by myself, go out to dinner by myself, go jogging or to the gym by myself or read a book by myself. Basically doing everything I want whenever I want. I don’t think I’m willing to compensate. I wanna do things MY way. My ideal man would be a guy who will join me on my travel adventures (to places I can’t go by myself, like Jamaica), whom I can go out to dinner with to *my* favorite restaurants, basically a person I can take whereever I want whenever I want. Better said the male version of me. (Or my shadow *chuckles*)

 "A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves"

…I’m just very picky about who I’m giving the agency. 

Okay, this is the paragraph were I’m going to be a bit more realistic, cause I don’t want Conceited to be the first word that comes up when someone talks about me. I need a man that counteracts me. I have a strong personality and if you don’t show me there’s a world outside mine I’m gonna run all over you. This seems to be a problem, cause I attract men who see me as the “woman I’m gonna introduce to the fam, a queen, a real and righteous woman”. Men who will carry me on their back while crawling on bare hands and feet. I can’t stand that. I WANNA BE EVIL! (Eartha Kitt, I see you) It usually takes a strong person to be submissive. Hey, that’s me. I need a guy who I can look up to. Someone who’s either more creative or wiser than me. Someone who’s mentally and/or emotionally ahead of me. Someone who will challenge me.

I get a lot of mental satisfaction from meeting new people, getting to know them, be infatuated, maybe fall in love, even when it leads to nothing. There’s nothing more beautiful than the dynamic of love, truth and pain. You learn about yourself and you learn about other people. You grow. Thus the only reason I can make up for wanting to have a relationship is that it gives me the opportunity to build an intimate connection with someone. I am comfortable being alone and I want to share myself with someone if it will enhance both of us. Getting to know each other sexually and eventually having mindblowing, spiritual sex(ual experiences). Oh and as I said before: to travel to places I can’t go to by myself (and have sex there).

There's nothing within me that needs to be compensated for. 

[okayafrifa]

Paula Duro

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L’leta van Gom by Stephanie Afrifa

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Me, by my friend Kwesi Abbensetts www.spaceshipgeorge.com