#agent shen

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Local person: Some folks died in there and place has been haunted ever since.

Shen: This town has such a colorful history.

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Clef: So.

Clef: Who broke it?

Clef: I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Glass: I did it. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Clef-

Clef: No, no, you didn’t. Bright?

Bright: Don’t look at me.

Bright: Look at Kondraki.

Kondraki: What?! I didn’t break it.

Bright: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Kondraki: Because it’s sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF US and it’s BROKEN!

Bright: Suspicious.

Kondraki: No, it’s not!

Zyn: If it matters, probably not...Shen was the last one to use it.

Shen: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Zyn: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Shen: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Zyn!

Glass: Alright, let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Clef.

Clef: No. Who broke it?

Bright: [whispering] Clef, Light’s been awfully quiet…

Light: Oh, REALLY?!

Bright: Yeah, really!

...

Clef: I broke it.

Clef: It burned my hand so I punched it.

Clef: [sips coffee]

Clef: I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Clef: Good.

Clef: It was getting a little chummy around here.

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Mark: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Zyn: Forks are Stabby Grabbies.

Riven: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Mark: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Riven: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Zyn: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Mark: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Shen: This team is a disappointment.

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Shen: We were just doing our jobs.

Shen: ...Actually, I was just doing my job. I don't know what the heck he was doing.

Riven: Hey! But that's true.

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Clef: Did you ask for the context?

Kondraki: ...

[FLASHBACK]

Kondraki: Can I have the context for that?

Mark: No.

Zyn: No.

Riven: Nope.

Shen: No.

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Shen, to Mark: My job is to protect you, and your job is to STOP MAKING IT SO GODDAMN HARD FOR ME!

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Mark: It’s whoever, not whomever.

Zyn: No, it’s whomever.

Mark: No. Whomever is never actually right.

Riven: Well, sometimes it’s right.

Edison: No. Mark is right. It’s a made up word used to trick students.

Elliot: No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word.

Shen: Obviously it’s a real word but I don’t know when to use it correctly.

Mark: [talking into the camera] Not a native speaker.

Naismith: [arms crossed] I know what’s right but I’m not going to say it because you’re all jerks who didn’t come see my band last night.

Zyn: Do you really know which one is correct?

Naismith: I don’t know!

Agarwal, poking her head in: It’s whom when it’s the object of the sentence and who when is the subject.

Zyn: That sounds right.

Mark: Well, it sounds right but is it?

Edison: How did Zyn use it? As an object?

Mark: As an object.

Heiden: Bright used me as an object.

Edison: Is he right about that?

Agarwal: How did he use it again?

Cimmerian: It was Zyn wanted Mark, the subject, to explain the system, the object.

Mark: Thank you.

Cimmerian: -to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object, which is the correct usage of the word.

Mark: No one, uh, ever asked you anything ever. So, whomever’s name is Jeremiah Cimmerian, why don’t you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull?

[totallycorrectscpquotes]

Shen: See, this is why I don't talk to you people.