Just read your post about Withdrawn versus Dependent stances. Super cool and informative! I was wondering where the Assertive (it is a assertive right?) stance fits into all this. How does it compare to the other two?
The Aggressive Stance: 3, 7, 9
Those in the Aggressive Stance have an unconscious desire to reshape people and situations to how they want them to be, and go after what they want aggressively. They don't hold back like the withdrawn stance, and they don't feel responsible to others like the dependent stance. They identify what they want and go get it. They think faster than other types, and act quicker than the other types. They want their life to be fast-paced, exciting, full of possibilities, and to accomplish things. They appreciate momentum and the lack of personal exchange and involvement, and are comforted by their ability to accomplish a lot -- quickly.
They constantly re-frame things positively to avoid getting stuck in their feelings; if they get fired, the 3 decides this has been a valuable experience, and I will use what it taught me to get ahead in my next career; the 7 knows that it was fun while it lasted, but this leaves them free to pursue a more exciting personal life path; the 8 assumes the next person to take their position will be less competent than they were ("enjoy my second-rate, B-grade replacement, losers!").
Instead of moving away from others (withdrawing stance) or toward others (dependent stance), aggressive types push back against others and resist getting tangled up in the personal stuff of life. They go around or through people to get what they want. They focus on controlling their environment while accomplishing their tasks and completing their goals.
Aggressive stance numbers repress their feelings, and substitute thinking and doing for feeling. It's not that they don't have emotions, but they avoid them when they can. If they can't, they express them indirectly. They think faster than the other types, which energizes them, and would prefer a world where no feelings are to be dealt with, apologized for, managed, or accommodated. All three dismiss the importance of emotions, interpersonal dynamics, and other people's agendas, and in so doing, give up their ability to be touched and affected by life. They all have feelings and emotions but choose to express them indirectly. They dismiss emotions as an interruption of the more important things that require their attention.
Other stances struggle to understand the aggressive stance, because they seldom share how they feel. People who repress feeling can have lots of successful relationships without knowing how they themselves feel. Aggressive types may not have the vocabulary to express their feelings. They dodge personal questions to protect their privacy, avoid others' expectations, and increase their freedom. They hate surprises or unexpected emotions, because of the vulnerability it makes them feel. They respond to others' needs with actions rather than feelings; they can be tender but still find feelings messy and unpredictable.
Their orientation of time is the future (thinking about all the exciting things they are going to do/accomplish); it's productive for doing, but also offers a disguise for their weakness when it comes to forming personal relationships. They don't need to relate to others in situations that don't yet exist, which makes emotions irrelevant.
Aggressive stance numbers get your attention through their intense energy and unapologetic pursuit of what they want; they're active, vital, and very determined. They usually have a full schedule and lots to do. They don't naturally or intuitively connect to feelings (theirs or yours); instead, they spot trouble and handle it. They know the world should be and are determined to make it that way. Life for them is all about control and being in charge. They provide the energy for any group they wind up in, which can feel like a burden. They think others move too slow and get impatient with them, but sometimes avoid addressing that indirectly. They may refuse to participate, just to avoid getting 'stuck' as the leader (others naturally look to them for leadership, because they are the most decisive, energetic, and intense people in the room).
