Thank you, for always guiding your fans, for always being the best version of yourself, for being you. ♥️
I hope life blesses you with eternal happiness and that you get to live your life without any regrets. You’ve made so many people proud of how far you’ve come in your career and as a human being, thank you for never changing ♥️
I hope you keep continuing to be the smart, beautiful, resilient inspiration that you are, in the short period of being your fan, I’ve grown to love you so much and all your baby birds are so proud of everything you’ve achieved so far ♥️
To the most beautiful ending fairy,
The world is a much brighter place with you in it ♥️
It was hard for me to decide buuuut I found something!
May I request Jinyoung in a fake dating AU with prompt 9 and 13? A sweet combo of fluff and angst 🥺🥰
Anyway congrats on your milestone! And I hope you'll have fun writing something with this 😁
Torn to pieces
Pairing: Jinyoung x F reader
Summary: You're best friend pretending to be your boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong? One of you making a big confession you can't take back.
Genre: Angst / Fluff / Fake dating au /
Rating: 15+ (SFW)
Warnings: Heavy Angst
Word Count: 1.4k
Beta reader: @gotparadise thank you so much!
A/N: Thank you to @amazing-flurryfries for requesting, I had fun with this one. Thank you to @wheresmymoniat for your lovely comments and advice.
Asking your best friend to be your date to your annual work party might not have been the best idea. But in order to get your flirtatious, pest of a colleague, Jackson off your case you had deemed it necessary. Since you had refused a date with him, a story of a new boyfriend fell from your lips before you could stop it. Jinyoung had come here to help you save the day and save face.
But as you sit and watch him talking politely to one of your female colleagues, him being his usual charming self and her, pawing at him as if he were her pet. A jealous rage alights inside you making your stomach twist with envy.
What you would give to have him look at you the way he's looking at her. You're not blind to the heat warming his dark eyes or the lust stretching his mouth into a provocative smile.
Your eyes blaze into them from across the room by the bar. When she touches his leg, her hand lingering longer than necessary, you lose it.
Downing your champagne, you place your glass back on the wooden bartop a little too hard, the noise drawing unwanted eyes and you decide to leave. Embarrassing yourself tonight wasn't on the agenda.
You strut towards them, eyes unwavering from her sickly sweet smile and her fluttering lashes.
"I'm going home. Feel free to stay." You say sharply, unable to meet his gaze before turning and strutting to the elevators. Once inside and alone, you collapse against the mirrored wall. An angry tear escapes, leaving a hot trail of the rejection and betrayal you feel. You swipe at it furiously, attempting to bury everything back down to where it should be. Hidden and out of sight.
As the doors open you throw your coat around you and greet the cold, blustery night.
You hear someone calling you in the distance, glancing back you see him. The man who has meant everything to you for so long, too long. The man who does not realize you have given him the key to your heart and unlocking it would be just for him.
Or if he has and is choosing to ignore it.
Then your biggest fear of unrequited love would be true and that would be much harder to deal with. Having to face reality rather than living with the tiny amount of hope still alight inside you.
You wait as he jogs over, unable to resist him.
"What are you doing? We've only been here for an hour." He says, his words causing slight embarrassment to creep towards the surface of your cheeks.
"Yea and about 45 minutes of that you've spent talking to the same person, who is not me by the way. I didn't bring you here so you could spend the whole night chatting someone else up." You reply, attempting to keep your irritation to a minimum.
He laughs. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry but come on...she's hot. How about you get me her number discreetly, let her in on the situation, so she knows I'm available?"
Flames spread through you, alighting your veins and igniting everything like uncontrollable wildfire.
"Well it didn't seem to bother her that you were with me anyway, so I don't think that will be necessary." You turn and walk off, hoping to sate your anger the further from him you get. Trying to ignore his words repeating inside your head over and over, making you feel sick.
You feel his fingers on your arm, stopping you and turning you back to him. "What's the matter? This isn't you."
A bitter laugh escapes you before you can help it. "You don't know everything about me, clearly, otherwise you would realise."
He stares at you perplexed, eyes searching yours for answers. You stare back willing him to understand, to realize but he breaks away, rubbing his face.
"Please, just tell me what's wrong. I hate you being upset and I don't know how to make it better." His pleading extinguishes some of your rage induced flames as his words tug on your heartstrings.
Whatever is left of your fury finds its way escaping out of your eyes and running down your cheeks once again. You can't hold them in.
His hands are there, cradling your face and wiping them away. You automatically lean into his touch but freeze as soon as you realize your action, moving away from him completely.
The look of hurt across his face makes your stomach churn but for the sake of your sanity you can't let yourself tumble any deeper.
"Wh...have I done something or said something? Have I hurt you? You must tell me, I can't bear the thought of you upset with me."
You planned to make him feel better, make an excuse, blaming it on something else, but the words that leave your mouth shock you just as much as him, "I love you, okay, like stupid, moronic, ridiculous love."
You both freeze, eyes wide and alarmed. Your mirrored expressions would seem comical in different circumstances.
Everything stops; time, your breathing, your heart, waiting for words to be spoken...anything to make this painful silence end.
The longer you wait, staring at him with pleading eyes, the longer you're met with a panicked stare. One that burns a hole right into your chest. One that makes you feel empty inside. One that makes your fears come to life as you realise, he can't give you what you want, what you're so forlorn for.
"You can't even say the words I'm so desperate to hear from you, can you?" You whisper, attempting to swallow the painful lump formed in your throat.
He blinks at you, mouth open but no sound leaving those perfectly full lips. It's all the response you need as you turn and head for home. Hugging your coat tightly around you, taking comfort in the warm embrace.
He calls out to you more than once but you don't look back. You don't want him to see the tears streaming down your face or the pain in your eyes. You practically feel your heart tearing and ripping itself into rejected shreds, pooling at the bottom of your stomach, rendering itself useless and slowly giving up.
The walk home is long as cold air clings to your damp cheeks making you shiver. It isn't long before you crawl into bed, still in your party attire and full face of smudged makeup, and hiding under the covers trying to forget this whole night.
***
A noise disturbs you from your drowsy state, not quite under the blanket of sleep but greeting it with open arms waiting for it to take you. The pain is too great however, your mind keeps replaying the moment, as if you need to be reminded. As if you are being punished for loving.
That noise again. Knocking. Someone's at the door. You pull the blanket up over your head. Whoever it is, they'll go away.
Another knock. You can't bring yourself to care. It's only when you hear the jingle of keys you realise someone is in your house.
You stiffen, peeking out from the covers, there's only one person who has a spare key. When you hear him calling your name your chest blazes red, the edges of the giant hole where your heart used to be, pulsing agony through you. You plead for the ground to swallow you up whole so you can disappear.
Your body tenses when he climbs under the covers with you, his angelic face suddenly too close to yours.
"Do you remember when my grandmother died and I was so upset, I couldn't eat?" He begins.
You give a small nod, not having the energy for much more.
"Do you remember what you said to me?" He asks.
You frown as you try to recall, coming up empty.
"You told me, let your heart feel." He whispers.
You remember now. What is the purpose of this? Your heart is feeling many things you don't want it too but it's out of your control.
"Do you know what I felt in that moment?"
You shake your head.
He lifts a finger to your face and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Love. Even in my darkest time, I looked at you and felt nothing but love...stupid, moronic ridiculous love."
You listen to his words rattle about in your hazy mind. One word in particular trying to get through the fog. Love.
Him echoing your exact words glueing the torn pieces of your heart together, the pure adoration in his eyes stitching the gaping hole shut and his lips meeting yours fill your heart with life again.
