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eueueue only a bit left of artfight and man i am sososo sad it hasn't turned out how i expected again,,, I HAD SO MUCH FUN SO FAR BUT THEN I HIT A ROUGH SPOT AND RGHHW... i just keep getting busy and or stressed and then am rendered unable to finish pieces or draw at alll. It's just kinda hard to find a footing i guess cuz i have so many different things i wanna try and i cant find a good workflow to get things without feeling ready to not draw for another 3 days after finishing a piece??? eueueue digital art hardddd i wanna do so many but i am SO SLOOOWWW AUGXCHGHF

#aiko vent #so mad #i just wanna draw #but the thought just scares me before i even start #i KNOW I'll have fun #i KNOW it'll be fun and joyous #but i look at most pieces i finish and sigh because i could've done better but i just didn't wanna take too long #maybe i set unrealistic goals audhsuahdbf #one good thing that came out of this is that i experimented and found joy in creating finished pieces!!#so after af i hope I'll make more oc art

watching a drew gooden video about cooking whilst eating my first cooked dinner in weeks !! bad days aren't forever gang !!!!!!!! life is beautiful!!!!!

#aiko rambles #for context i usually eat snacks or leftovers dinner and dont put in the effort to eat a lot which leads to me very obviously being #hungry before bed a lot </3 #but it's okay !!! i did it !!! yey !! food isn't scary !!!!!!!#nor a waste of time !!!!!!!!!#aiko vent #< i suppose? should i tag this somehow for ed purposes ?

day so turbulent and emotional i need to make journal vent comic about it

#aiko vent #gonna put it on auth toyhouse <3 to anyone who is interested lol #also omg hii dean Winchester and jensen trending thats so beautiful #my day was literally fine it was okay i just have a lot emotions in me

I fucking hate being sexualized, makes me sick to no avail. I don't know if this dude actually likes me or wants to fuck me. Am I a person or some soulless sex toy.

#aiko vent

ever since i was a kid i knew i wanted to forever daydream about fun things i could be doing if i believed my friends liked me more

#aiko vent #its past 9 pm yknow what that means #oh cmon my ipad just died. hey man i was watching a musical on that!!!!#whatever #bed time

its really so baffling for me to realize how normal and common having your own room just is. whenever my parents aren't home i sleep in the living room on the extendable couch bed and realize how much i enjoy choosing when to go to sleep, if i want to watch something, what i want to watch, decor whatever. but i also don't wanna live alone y'know? i hate being home alone. i love choosing my own things but i dont wanna be alone. that's called Having Your Own Room. my living situation is so weird where i dont have a space in the house thats just mine, that people don't walk in on because its technically theirs aswell (in the fullest sense not as in "this is MY house", no both the space where i sleep and where i spend my day is shared with other people.). like i love my family and being around them but fuck me it would be nice to just have a room where i can just. be. where i can decide to do things without fear of inconveniencing others

#aiko rambles #aiko vent #i suppose #its just kinda gnawing on me #its the little things i just wish i could do without shame #why cant i shower late at night. why cant i make the food i like every day ever. this is unrelated to having my own room actually lol #i do not wanna move out because i do not wanna live alone but I'd just love to be able to exist how i want

my paranoia and anxiety get so bad that i did nothing this morning for four hours just waiting for my friend to respond cuz i got so scared that something happened to him

#aiko vent

being constantly riddled with guilt and shame is so fun because i could be doing the most mundane thing ever (eating breakfast whilst watching a YouTube video) and someone could walk in and i apologize (i shouldn't watch videos whilst eating) (im eating unhealthy things for breakfast) (im taking too long because i have to go out or study)

#aiko vent #noone even...pointed anything out #she walked in and immediately said sorry and as any normal person she just said that she doesn't care and is not here to ask me smth #she just..got her drink and left! kissed my forehead and left! and yet i still closed my phone and felt bad!!!#gw

#aiko vent

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#aiko vent