Waiting for something to happen?

Vent blog—18

[litaiko]

This is my vent blog, if you know me irl no you don't

My disorders/problems I will vent about

•Cptsd

•Eating disorder

•self harm

•MDD

•OSDD-1a

•bipolar disorder

I am very pro-recovery and in recovery, I just have very hard days. This is not a place to encourage harmful behaviors or maladaptive coping skills.

Don't like don't look

[litaiko]

Haha yeah that's so funny 😹😹😹 joking about cheating 3 times 😹😹😹😹 I'm definitely not sick to my stomach 😹😹😹😹😹

[litaiko]

I really am just sensitive, well not really it's just insensitive "jokes" but it makes me scared that he will find a girl instead of some weirdo like me, he probably sees me as a girl too, I'm just sensitive, I won't say that it affected me though because I don't wanna seem weak or like a "girl"

[litaiko]

All I'll ever be is some fucking sex thing I'm not a person I'm just a stupid sex toy I hate it I feel sick I wanna throw up I want to cry

[litaiko]

I fucking hate being sexualized, makes me sick to no avail. I don't know if this dude actually likes me or wants to fuck me. Am I a person or some soulless sex toy.

[desultory-suggestions]

The foods you have been taught are bad for you or inherently unhealthy are actually vital to your survival. And no I don’t mean “cake is empty calories but it makes me happy so it’s worth it!” I mean that there is no such thing as empty calories. I mean that all food is food, and that all food is made of various nutrients vital for your survival, and that all food can contribute to your happiness and wellbeing and that is not in spite of its other qualities. We have to stop believing narratives that certain aspects of food are secretly the Good Ones and that others are the Bad Ones.

[litaiko]

I hate being alone, I hate not doing anything or going out I think too much when I'm alone I hate it I think about hurting myself and my abuser I hate it I need constant distraction