Oneās true personality is revealed once he/she speaks while being emotionally charged.
When weāre emotionally charged, we fall back to automatic behaviours, such as the fight or flight instinct. Our subconscious behaviour takes over to get us out of the seemingly harmful situation.
We were emotionally charged pretty often in the past. Itās not surprising we accustom ourselves to maintain a specific vocabulary in our everyday language. And we use this vocabulary to talk to other people, as well as to ourselves.
You unconsciously use phrases like:
āI must do itā ā instead of āI decide to do itā,
āIt happens to me all the timeā ā instead of āI take responsibility for itā,
āI encounter a problemā ā instead of āI challenge myselfā,
āThis situation sucksā ā instead of āIt teaches me somethingā,
āI have a terrible dayā ā instead of āI am capable of being more powerfulā,
āI am uglyā ā instead of āIām unique, which makes me beautifulā,
āI am not good enoughā ā instead of āI will improveā,
āI canāt do itā ā instead of āIāll learn to do itā,
āOther people are betterā ā instead of āI have mentors that teach meā.
I donāt know you. I donāt know your situation. Iām pretty sure your emotional reactions were understandable. Itās comprehensible that you talk to yourself in this way from time to time. Donāt suppress it. But question it is as well.
Every decision is easier when made a second time. Itās easy to react the same way a second, third, or fourth time. Donāt do that. Donāt create a subconscious rhythm of destructive self-talk. Because once you maintain this thinking subconsciously, you will put your personal filter over any statement:
If someone says to you that you need to improve a specific skill, you infer youāre currently not good enough.
If someone says to you that youāre beautiful, you feel uncomfortable.
If someone talks about his achievements, you feel jealous.
All these cases have one thing in common ā you feel hurt, even though the other person never intended to hurt you. You hurt yourself by your unhealed yet ignored parts that got triggered within.
Itās not the thing itself that hurts us. Itās that we refuse to deal with it. It hurts because we havenāt expended any energy to resolve it yet. We havenāt put our strength together to work on ourselves finally. In other words, we feel hurt because we feel incapable of doing anything about it.
If you feel hurt by other people, itās time for you to accept one thing: Youāre worthy enough to take care of yourself. Donāt let yourself be told anything else.
Listen to the words you say throughout the day. Take notice of your reactions. Youāll observe theyāre connected and root in your thinking. How about just using a few more positive words from today on and observing what happens?
From a passionate thought, there could never grow weakness. From a loving thought, there could never grow anything else but love. Think loving, kind, and compassionate thoughts, and you will see the world starting to act differently, but accordingly.
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