Starring: Aizen Sosuke x f!reader; mention to Ichigo Kurosaki, Isshin Kurosaki, Renji Abarai, Karin Kurosaki, Orihime Inoue, Chad, Shuhei Hisagi, Rukia Kuchiki;
Format: multi-chapters story;
Warnings for this chapter: nsfw, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, use of condoms, oral sex (Sosuke!receiving), solitude, breeding kink, language, possessive tendencies, breasts playing, nipple playing, breasts suckling, fluff, feelings denial and acceptance, rough sex, marking the partner, undefined relationship, angst, neglecting feelings and trauma, falling in love;
Plot: Opening your heart to your worst enemy, to the man you once swore to defeat was not on your list of ‘things to do once in your life’. However, there you were, vulnerable and comfortable in the arms of a man people wished to eradicate from this world. Sosuke wanted you, he really did, but he feared what might have happened, if he did not know what was going on with the impulses of the Hogyuoku and how deeply he was actually affected by it. New measurements were taken, but he could not deny himself the bliss of been looked at with warm eyes and being touched amiably after years of solitude.
MASTERLIST| PREVIOUS CHAPTER | TO THE NEXT CHAPTER
Standing in front of Sosuke, hands wrapped around the mug Karin had bought for you last Christmas, you were struggling to keep your composure. He had showed you his hand, the pale imitation of a word that would have never left his mouth: ‘Sorry’. Somehow, it sounded far way more honest than all the excuses people had told you throughout the long march of time. You could not say you had entirely forgiven him. For what, anyway? For not having indulged in the sweet aftermath of sex? For having done anything in his power to keep your interactions to the bare minimum, when you were both stuck in your flat? Or maybe for having let you feel wanted, the center of someone attention, and having deprived you of it all of a sudden. A cruel way to punish you.
“You have made me tea. — you started, carefully sitting next to him, but leaving some comfortable space between you two — What’s the next step? Waffles and whipped-cream? Or pancakes and blackberries?” you jested, taking a small sip of your drink and glancing at the tv, where some old film was playing. You were quick to recognise it. ‘Gone with the wind’. You should have figured the special threat was into old-fashioned stories.
Sosuke hummed “What is really surprising is that you are actually drinking the tea without suspecting I have poisoned it. I think this is already a big step to make” he pointed out, grabbing the remoter and passing it to you. Well, he had agreed to watch a movie with you, after all. The choice was up to you.
You smiled faintly at him, fingers brushing against his as you took a hold of the remoter “That’s a progress, indeed. — you nodded your head, switching to another channel — But… I believe we have overcome distrust a while ago” you stated, settling the cup down on the coffee table and shifting on the couch to tuck your legs beneath you. You knew he was staring at you. He was not even trying to be subtle about it. The sensation of being watched made your skin tingle. The air in the room was charged, yet not with the usual unnerving atmosphere of thirst for blood that permeated the air whenever he showed up. It was far from that. It was almost calming. Who would have ever guessed that spending more time with Sosuke Aizen, without unaheathing your blade to slit his throat, could actually lead you to discover his presence was not just suffocating but pleasing, somewhat? It was the closest thing to serendipity you had ever experienced.
And, of course, it had to be with the villain of everyone’s story. Partially yours too.
You bit your lower lip and kept zapping from a channel to another, searching for something to watch together. Something light for you were mentally exhausted. Something comforting, like the silence that had once again swallowed you two. You had missed this feeling. Yet, a part of you expected him to break the ice in some barbaric way. To anticipate him, you cleared your throat.
“So… When are you going to ask me why I am so quiet tonight?” you asked him, eyes transfixed on the screen as you pondered whether or not leaving the tv on MTV was better than forcing him to watch idiotic film he would have complained about for days.
Sosuke arched his eyebrow up “I have no reason to. I offered you my silence for you to express your feelings. — he explained, head lolling back against the headrest, weirdly so considering his way of always, manically sitting straight — However, it does not imply I am going to torture you until you talk about what is clearly troubling you. You have a choice” he stated, eyes closing, his shamelessly long and blacke eyelashes casting shadows over his perfect cheekbones.
Fuck. You almost prefered it, when he chastised you, or you bickered.
You huffed, tossing the remoter on the coffee table next to your mug “Stop it”.
“You are doing it again” you mumbled, playing with the hem of your oversized Maroon 5 t-shirt, a gift from Chad for your birthday a few years ago.
Sosuke cracked an eye open “Doing what exactly? Acting like a gentleman and not slaughtering you? I thought you disliked that side of me”.
You rolled your eyes at that and turned fully around to face him “Who would ever want to share her flat with a murderer?”.
“Technically, you are. Multiple people suffered the consequences of my actions and a few died too, my closest friends you could say”.
The audacity he had was stunning you in silence. Nothing about what he was talking about should have amused you, yet there you were almost letting a chuckle escape your lips. What were you supposed to say? How could you reply to that? You played checkers, he played chess and you were totally incompetent, when it came down to prevent his insidious checkmates.
“That was the past. — you stammered out, knowing damn well it was matter of perspectives, mostly because you had killed too — I meant quit pretending to be a psychologist” you bantered, causing him to clench his jaw. He seemed annoyed now.
Sosuke sat up straight, massaging his temples, as if he was meditating. This was not the reaction you were expecting from him. And your stomach churned, strangely not in fear of him possibly harming you. But because you felt guilty. Guilty. Just like in the past, when you felt afraid of speaking your mind and offending people around you, ignoring your needs to see them cheerful, despite pushing a dagger in your windpipe to silence your voice.
You felt it then. Thorns all around your throat. Dread washed over you. Not again, not now, not today. You opened your mouth to speak and no sound came out. Sosuke noticed it, cold eyes searching for yours, as your chest heaved erratically “I wonder if the real villain in your life was me” he commented softly, hand reaching out to carefully slide towards yours and grabbing it, before you had the chance to pull it away. His skin was warm, yours was cold. You shuddered at the feeling, eyes now watery as you swallowed down forcefully, desperately trying and failing to make the knot in your throat disappear.
You wanted to retort something. Funny how the only thing you could do now was crumbling before his eyes, allowing him to yank you closer to him until your knee bumped against his one and his warm breath wafted over the crown of your head. He was compassionate now. How? Why? Albeit you were gradually swimming back to the surface, leaving the bottomless pit of negative feelings strangling you behind, another thought plagued your mind. When was the last time someone had cradled you in his arms and let you shatter without making you feel like a broken toy? You had no memory of that. Life was once again cruel. How did Mother Nature dare to make you feel safe in the obscure arms of a natural born killer? Still, you were tired of fighting yourself for fate’s tasteless tricks. You let out a shallow breath, forehead resting in the hollow of Sosuke’s neck, whilst your hand squeezed his one tighter.
Benevolent gestures were rare nowadays. Receiving them from an allegedly, on the contrary, a soulless bastard was surely on another level of absurdity.
You had closed your eyes, steadying your breath, when you felt the fingers of his free hand thread through your hair, your body molding against his because you were done running away from yourself. You felt him going rigid, though, and you loosened your clutch on his body, merely limiting yourself to rest your head on his shoulder.
“You are meant to give me headaches, not to mend them” you said, voice barely audible now.
Sosuke smiled against your hair, an hint of amusement in his tone “Fear not. I will eventually come up with something to destabilize you. Not today, though”.
You sighed and witherdrew from his embrace, the back of your hand wiping away some tears you could not hold back “Mercy is a privilege, since when I am in your good graces?” you queried, curling yourself in a ball and resting your chin on the top of your knees.
“I refuse to believe you never acknowledged you have always been from the beginning”.
You pursued your lips, nodding your head, a bittersweet chuckle leaving your lips “I should have known you had a soft spot for me, because you never killed me. Right. Got it”.
Sosuke stayed silent, nor going to the extent of budging to counter back to prove you wrong, neither agreeing with your assertion. For a hot minute, silence blanketed the living room again. The only sound disrupting the peace was the music in the background. Addressing the elephant in the room was a necessity now. You doubted opening up with Sosuke was a good idea. Still, if not him, who would have listened to you? No one did. He had offered you this chance and there was no point in wasting it.
“It is probably my first time opening my heart and baring my mind to someone. I am not used to it and … Trust me, I am well aware it should not be the normalcy” you began, your eyes straying to the tv, where a singer was dancing with her crew of professional dancers. They all smiled, they seemed happy, in stark constrast with the mood you were in. It disturbed you.
As if reading your thoughts, Sosuke switched off the tv and leaned forward, elbows resting on his thighs. He did not utter a single word, but his warm chocolate brown eyes, somehow darker in the dimly illuminated room, spoke volumes. He was invested into hearing you talk. Even if you had to make a monologue, he would have stayed right there and listened to you rattling off anything passing through your head.
“It is hard growing up and being the adult friend of the group. The oldest daughter. The responsible kid watching over her silblings, cleaning up their messes, never making a mistake because… — your mouth went dry and you took a sip of your tea to moist it — Because people older than you expect you to be an example for the younger kids” you explained, fingers twitching around the mug in uncontrollable shakings you thought you had learned to control since Sosuke butchered Ichigo and Renji before your eyes, before ascending the sky.
Probably, the recent events had shaken you more than you liked to admit to yourself. Let alone aloud, because who would have even listened to you?
“So… You know, I think today I broke. I detonated like a bomb” you stated, closing your eyes as flashes of your conversations with Isshin and Shuhei played behind your eyelids on repeat. There was more. There was more about why you lashed out like that. And the man who had blown away your sense of self-preservation and stripped you of your sanity was currently the only one figuratively offering you a shoulder to cry on.
“First my father, then Shuhei… — you babbled out, pinching the bridge of your nose and settling the cup down again not to spill the remenants of your drink on the floor — And to be absolutely frank, you”.
That caught his attention “Me?”.
“Yes, you. I know I don’t mean a damn thing to you. — you fretted, cheeks heating up because you oh so knew you would have freaked out talking about what had happened after the last time you had invited him to rearrange your insides — But why showing me a fleeting moment of affection, interest, humanity only to kick me like a rabid dog and treating me as if I was transparent? What did I even do to deserve this?” you exploded, eyes burning again.
Oh, Hell no, you were not going to burst into tears right in front of him. Not for a man. Never for a man. After all, this was the mantra you had taught to Orihime, Rukia and even your step-sisters. This time you really had to be strong.
Sosuke was taken off guard. Never in your life you would have thought something like that was ever going to happen, yet here he was. Impertubable face, but whitening knuckles curling around the armrest betraying the turmoil of emotions swirling in his mind.
“I have my reasons to keep my distance from you. If you were wise, you would appreciate it” he opinionated, fox eyes pinning you on the spot. For a second, you saw him dressed in pristine white robes in Las Noches, passing judgment on anyone as the supreme being he esteemed himself to be. Even before he trascended the limits of his shinigami nature.
“Well, I thought I would have loved nothing more than to cut the tie, but I can’t!”.
Your ears were ringing. Before you could process what you had just vomited out at his face, you saw his eyes widening and you clasped your hand over your mouth “I—”.
“You what? You did not mean it? Oh, you did” he cut you off, pride boosted as he cocked his head to the side and smiled faintly at the outraged expression painted on your face, hand clutching pearls on your chest in panic.
“My words failed me! I have not been able to make myself clear. I meant to say that I am fine with being… Uhm, ignored, ditched, I don’t know, okay? — you ranted, standing up and waving your hands around like a maniac — I am fine with whatever it is, but I am not a piece of trash. Talk to me and … And we can work things out”.
Sosuke stared up at you thoughtfully, examining the situation with surgical expertise before he spoke out again “If your words failed you, then why does it still sound like you are inwardly hoping we could keep our routine going and saving whatever we have?”.
You gaped, caught red-handed. You were screwed. No one had talked about feelings yet, fortunately, but … You were dangerously threading through the thin ice above the crater of the volcano. It was sex, just sex and wanton. Carnal urges. Nothing more. At least, this was the blatant lie you kept on repeating yourself day and night since you both started that damn circus. Things were too messy for you to survive this ordeal assuring the integrity of your dignity.
“What the fuck…” you whined, covering your face with your hands and ambling aimlessly around the living room.
“Does it mean something for you?” he suddenly asked you, dead serious about the matter.
You froze, petrified “What?”.
“Don’t stall. Does it mean something for you? Yes, no, maybe? Don’t illustrate your answer, you don’t have to. I just wish to know the truth” he demanded again, raising on his feet and ambling towards you, not like an imposing, menacing villain coming towards you to rip you to shreds, but like a simple man looking for sincerity.
The truth. The terrific truth that was scaring you to death.
Your answer did not go unnoticed, it did not fall on deaf ears. Not when he halted right in front of you and, hesitantly, cupped your cheeks in his hands. He did not say much, if not “It is enough for me” before he leaned down to capture your lips in a slow, gentle kiss. Stars twinkled beneath your eyelids, heartrate increasing notably after tasting him after days of starvation. You followed his lead, hands gliding over his biceps, before taking a hold of the collar of his shirt and yanking him closer to him. You had no idea of why your body reacted to him in way no man before had been able to prompt, all you could say was that it felt like a chemical reaction, a fire meeting gasoline and devouring anything it met on its path.
Ashes and dust blown in the wind after a battle, dissolving into a river, or staining the white snow.
You heard him groan, the moment his hand slipped beneath your shirt and met your skin. You were not wearing a bra and his hands gladly fondled your breasts, making your breath hitch in your throat.
And then something happened. The moment your nipples became turgid beneath his thumbs, he stepped back abruptly. A growl escaped him, his eyes had discolored into a pale azure, the scleras had turned purple and he was downright panting. Your breath was erratic too, as you curled your hands around the shelf behind you. That was new. You were pretty sure he had not showed off that form since he had evolved into the last stage of his transformation into a moth, years ago.
“What… Are you alright?” you breathed out, only to watch him blink away that weird colors from his eyes, blessing you with his chestnut hues.
He resembled a beast, pacing around like a tiger in a cage, huffing and puffing, groaning in frustration and a minute away from pulling hair off of his head. Sweat beaded his forehead, hand running down his face as he took a couple more of steps back to put a safe distance between you two. His hand was open, almost warning you to stay back. He was in distress and it had something to do with his powers, the unknown and deadly powers of the Hogyoku. You cleared your throat, before gesturing at him with one hand, probbing him to provide you an explaination.
Sosuke glanced at you briefly, rubbing his chin “No, I’m not … I’m not in the condition to be near you. I’m retiring in my room. Goodnight” he declared, ready to leave the living room, too bad this time you did not let him go away.
In a blink of an eye, you sprinted towards him and blocked his path, staring squarely at him “Sosuke, no, not again. Tell me what’s wrong. You can trust me” you assured him and you could swear his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down more frequently than it normally did.
“I fear I might be unable to control certain... — he trailed off, taking a step closer to you, hand raising to graze your cheek but dropping back down his side — I don’t trust myself to touch you without damaging you”.
He could not tell you yet. Not when you were already too emotionally scarred to deal with more problems involving him, the main reason you were stressed out and at war with every inhabitant of the World of the Livings and the Soul Society alike. He could analyze himself, he had enough experience for observe this phenomenon and find a solution to get rid of it. The question was just one. Was this a mere impulse of the Hogyuoku, or did he really wish to impregnate you? Now that he had nothing, no Empire to lead and reign upon, no freedom and no army to command, maybe he was indeed embracing the possibility of settling down and build a family.
And he also knew one thing for sure: if not with you, then he did not wish to copulate with anyone else.
There you were now, looking up at him genuinely concerned for his health and yearning for him to open up, to stay and face the problem with you “Seriously? Sosuke, you… Gosh, damaging me? How? I’m here, I’m fine. I want this. What’s so different now?”.
That he wished to lull you to sleep nine months from now holding your belly from behind as you wondered the gender of your child.
Sosuke scoffed, shaking his head before he lost the last shred of sanity left in him. You deserved a proper explanation, but he was not going to ruin your day further. What a ludicrous situation. He had never had qualms about hurting people. Surprisingly, he would have rather chopped his tongue off than disrupting your peace now. He was going to dismiss you again was it not for the way you pushed him against the wall and unbuttoned his shirt enough to kiss down his pectorals and stomach. His eyes widened, hands hovering above your head as you gradually dropped to your knees in front of him.
Your eyes glinted in the dimly lit room, locked with his, whilst your fingers unbuckled his belt “I don’t know what’s happening to you, but I am absolutely sure that you desire me as much as I want you. — you stated calmly, unbuttoning his slacks and watching them slide down his narrow hips enough to expose his boxers — Relax and let me … Let me prove you that you can’t do me any harm”.
His mind went blank. All he knew was that his erected cock was now grazing against your lips. You grabbed it by the base, gave it a few pumps and then your tongue circled the tip. He grunted, head lolling back against the wall, teeth gritting while his fingers threaded through your hair, tugging at the strands enough to make sure he still had some sort of control over the situation.
“Persistent” he whispered, exhaling through his nose the moment you dragged your tongue flatly from the base of his cock to the tip. Your warm mouth then took it in, soft lips engulfing it as you hummed around his head. The vibrations sent frissons down his spine and he tightened his grip on your hair, accidentally causing you to whimper from the dull pain spreading through your scalp. Your eyes fell shut, as you attempted to take more inches in, the wetness of your saliva surely helping to make your movements smoother and his cock to slide further into your mouth.
The moment it almost hit the back of your throat, you gagged and he finally let out a strained moan. Tears fell from your lashes and Sosuke yanked your head back, his dick now slipping out of your mouth with an obscene pop “You are way too good at this, stop it. Get up” he rasped out, eyebrows knitted together to form a straight line, as he abruptly loosened his grip on your hair and panted at his feet, hands and knees planted on the cold floor.
You felt your cheeks on fire as you stared up at him, glossy lips and glistening eyes, a small smile crossing your face, a sense of victory pervading your heart “You know, I would have swalllowed. Why did you stop me? I was having the time of my life watching you whimper—”.
You yelped, feet kicking the air, as he effortlessly hauled you over his shoulder and strode towards his bedroom, foot pushing the door open. You found yourself bouncing on the soft mattress below you, as he tossed you down. His eyes were dark, fingers quickly ripping off his already undone shirt. Every damn time his chest was bare before your eyes, you gawked in stupor and lust. The moment he hovered over you, climbing on the bed like a predator, you felt yourself getting wetter. His lips captured yours in a passionate kiss, hands pushing your flimsy t-shirt up, exposing your breasts. You whined, at the loss of the contact with his mouth, but you were soon rewarded by his lips wrapping around your nipple.
You squirmed, toes curling, hips bucking up uncontrollably from his sinful ministrations. You could swear he was smirking, even though the vision of his face was prevented by his soft, brown hair. You were staring at the ceiling, mouth hanging open, your thighs pressed together to relief some need coiling down in your guts.
“Shit!” you whined, the moment switched nipple, his free hand gliding down your stomach and slipping his digits beneath the fabric of your panties. You held your breath, foreteeth sinking onto your bottom lip until you tasted metal.
“Look at who is whimpering now. Be careful who you play with, little mouse” he chided you spreading your folds with his fingers before teasing your entrance. You choked out a sob, when he neglected your clitoris and slided two fingers inside of you.
Your vision went blurry, inner walls sucking his fingers in, adapting to the stretch as he watched you desperately writhe beneath his frame. A spider in a cage, a deer trembling before a famished wolf, a lamb facing a lion. His head was exploding. The urge to take you raw, to feel your walls squeeze him up perfectly, skin to skin, was immense. But instead he knew what to do. You had already risked too much up until now. The least he could do was using those weird devices he had read about and purchased at the local pharmacy. Shameless, because a man as attractive as him would have not had any problems in going up to a pharmacist and asking for the best condoms around.
You cried out, when his fingers pumped in and out of you a few more times, before he pulled them out and raised on his knees. Automatically, you removed your panties, kicking them off and following his hand reaching for the drawer in the nightstand and opening it. The moment you saw the silver packaging, you quirked your eyebrows up in curiosity “A condom?”.
“Is it not of your likings?”.
You shrugged “Of course, it is. I mean, I told you I am under birth control, but it is… Very considerate of you to wear them” you noted, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as he ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it down his cock. His trourses, now resting around his ankles along his boxers, were hastily discarded on the floor and he was all over you in a matter of seconds.
“I’m not considerate. — he flatly said, gripping your hips and spreading your thighs — Just clean”.
You chuckled at that, only to gasp when the tip of his cock teased your dripping core. You wrapped your legs on his lower back, hands cupping his cheeks to brace for the breach. The moment his shaft entered you, he let out a shuddery breath. His body was on fire, as if he was made of lava, and you began to ask yourself if he was running a fever and the hollow-like eyes were somehow linked to that condition. Yet, the moment he pushed in, stretching you open for him inch by painful inch, you yielded. Your shallow breaths were swallowed by his lips, hands drawing soothing circles over your thighs, hooking below them the moment he bottomed out. You sqealed when he lifted your legs, positioning them on the top of his shoulders.
If he was not good for you, why did he make you feel so alive?
“Are you still with me?” he asked you lowly, drawing his hips back before slamming back into you.
You moaned loudly at the sensation of his cock rubbing your velvety walls, the feeling pushing you to the brink of bliss thrust after thrust.
“Yeah, I’m still with you…” you replied, his lips grazing the inside of your ankle as he set up a firm but steady pace, drawing sinful whimpers and curses out of your mouths. He was struggling not to devour you, every damn time you tightened around him.
It came natural to you grazing the outline of his abs with your fingertips, chiseled muscles tensed, as he flinched. Fuck. He was really touch-starved then, so much that he snatched your hand off of his chest and unexpectedly pressed it up against his cheek, holding your palm against his face in tandem with the moment he increased the pace of his thrusts.
“Sosuke!” you called out his name, eyes rolling in the back of your skull, when your g-spot got overstimulated. But you held the eye-contact, stubborn, greedy for his touch, attention and all you saw in his dilated pupils was avarice and … Adoration.
“Damn you” he uttered, lips claiming yours in need before you finally reached your climax and he followed suit in a matter of seconds.
In the silence of the aftermath, he rolled off of you and removed the condom to toss it carelessly into the bin. You were naked, panting, full of a warm sensation in your heart you knew meant no good. You should have not got attached to him, but how could you not when he was the only one who had ever looked at you as if you mattered too? You tiredly stretched, throwing your elbow over your eyes, as the bed dipped under his weight again.
“I will leave in a second, don’t worry… You wrecked me” you whispered, humming softly, as you tried to roll off of the bed.
Your feet did not even touch the floor, when you felt an arm loop around your waist and pull you down among the blankets again. Your heart leapt in your chest, as you found yourself surrounded by his arms. He did not ask you to stay, he did not say anything else, instead he held you close to him and provided you the warmth he had denied you until that day.
Hello there! For the love of God, what is going on with me? Another update in a matter of days? Ah-ah-ah, nevermind! I’m hopefully making up for my absence. Finally, some quality time between Sosuke and the reader. I love writing Sosuke learning emotions… And putting him in human-coded situations :). Like, I will come up with a way to drag him somewhere and being forced to interact with them. Maybe Isshin and the gang, hihihi.
TAGS: @onyxino @my-my-my @areyouflying @bakugosgirl01 @noirfan12 @velaenam @suigetsusunny @aizenscumslut @bucciaratizippers @jesurum-says-hi @villainsrtasty