Hi, it's me, the Arkham Knight, and I'm here to let y'all in on a secret. You like secrets, right? I'm pretty sure everyone does. Anyhoo.
The man who runs this account is a fucking maniac. Briefly, after the whole Invasion Incident, I stayed in his house with him and his wife while I was trying to get back on my feet. Normal, right? For the most part, yes, until one night that I don't think I'll ever forget.
It was cold out, the pavements so damn icy that you couldn't go out without crampons and a prayer in your favor. Fucking horrible, you understand? I need you to understand how bad it was.
Anyway. Everyone's asleep, and a window shatters, naturally waking us all up. By the time I get up and out the guest room, I see Fitz throwing himself out the window, sprinting down the fire escape, and giving chase to a would be robber.
The worst part?
He was shouting, quite possibly at the top of his lungs: "I'M GETTING CLOSER!"
And he was. He was only wearing plaid pj pants and a baseball cap, but despite his lack of footwear, let alone ice spikes, he was running after this poor would be robber like a god damn Olympic athlete in comparison. He caught the guy in less than a minute and I'm pretty sure the attempted thief was sobbing.
The biggest takeaways I got from that were:
1) Alaskans are literally built different because that is the only explanation I can think of for why this regular ass guy didn't even have a short slide while doing his best angry mamma moose impression.
And 2) he sleeps with that fucking hat on.
