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Jiangshi | 19 | Chop Top's Kibble Dispenser | Icon by dangerousmushroomfiend

[choptop-sawyer]

I'm Jiangshi! I used to write headcanons for Texan cannibals but now I'm simply fading away in my happy corner. You can still send headcanons if you'd like and I might do them :) I'm 20 :P I don't care about pronouns. I'm a wahmen.

What I Like:

Horror media (movies, books, occasionally tv shows)

Art of any kind

Folklore and mythology

Warhammer 40k (only the Primarchs though I'm a fake fan)

Cats and Fish

If you're going to not be nicies to me hop off my fucking dick.

Sideblogs:

@rancidworlds My digital scrapbook! I put images I find pretty here.

@chop-top-writes An archive blog for all the headcanons I've written.

@rogaldornpussy W40k sideblog.

That's pretty much it. Rawr.

[bakllori]

RAIN

[choptop-sawyer]

How would Drayton react if he had a toddler niece and instead of just calling him Drayton she instead calls him”Dray-dray” like ALL the time?

ACK weirdly enough I see him as being tolerant of it... he grew up in a big family after all! He would probably just bark at whoever brother was her dad to teach her his name right lol but I don't think he'd necessarily yell at her for it.

[choptop-sawyer]

Ik I'm not active anymore but I think I'm gonna have to turn off anon asks there's somebody being weird af. Sorry guizzz

[doniux]

[choptop-sawyer]

[bakllori]

A friendly reminder that his death is simply a Mandela mass effect 🥰

[toskarin]

why didn't they just leave pompeii when the volcano erupted? were they stupid?

[foone]

Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! It's estimated that the population pre-eruption was something like 20,000, and the most likely number of dead in is in the range of 1,500-4,000. So most people just did leave Pompeii, it's just that not everyone left or could leave.

[fuckinnear]

[toskarin]

I'd have still left. the human body is capable of wonderful things in the face of danger

[crowteeth]

A lot of people died in the boats tho:/

[toskarin]

I would have paddled away quickly

[toskarin]

I take pretty hot baths so I think I'd be able to last a little longer than the average person

[demonicseries]

The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it, no matter how far away it is, there is no possible way of surviving

[toskarin]

I've done incredible things. I think you'd be surprised.

[toskarin]

I know a lot about the volcano. they could learn much from me.

[slurpygunch]

you should teach them

[toskarin]

I will.

[toskarin]

everyone who has ever died from anything is an idiot. I wouldn't have done that.

[toskarin]

perhaps this could be chalked up to poor diet? I don't think explosions alone can do that.

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

their brains became AEROSOLS IN THEIR SKULLS.

[toskarin]

what?? no

[at-the-sign-of-the-fox-n-phoenix]

correction, some of their brain cells turned to glass, unless you want to bitch about the Smithsonian's knowledge base. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/mount-vesuvius-turned-mans-brain-cells-glass-180976073/

[toskarin]

that just doesn't sound correct. they should verify this information

[pink-thing-enjoyer]

How about if instead of encouraging them we instead CHALLENGE them to survive a fictional catastrophe

Like there's no way this bozo is surviving the fires of ibis

[toskarin]

not only could I survive that, but I could do it a second time

[toskarin]

I mean they were pretty stupid for staying at a volcano during an eruption. the volcano is the most dangerous place to be, in that sort of scenario

[for-the-urizen]

What you seem to not understand is that when volcanoes erupt the way Mount Vesuvius did, your survival is dependant on whether or not you're close enough to a ship when it happens. It doesn't matter how smart you are, your IQ cannot outrun a catastrophic volcanic eruption. If you're going to criticize them for anything, it should be their decision to settle near an active volcano in the first place.

[toskarin]

as was previously established, my large IQ can outrun many things, so I do not imagine a volcano would be that much more difficult

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: 't t t a t ca t? t t? act: t a ! t' tat tat t at -t a tg ,, a t t a t ag ,-,. t t a , t' t tat t t c a. ' a t t. t a caa tg t ac ag A t t at t:/ a a aa c ta tt t at t ' a t at a tt g ta t aag T cat tg at catc tat ca t, att a aa t , t a g ' c tg. t ' . a t at t ca. t c a c . tac t . a atg a t. 't a tat. a t c ca t t? 't t a ca tat. t a ca A T . at?? cct, t a c t t ga, at t tc at t ta' g a. tt://.taag.c/at-/t--t-a-a-c-ga-/ tat t 't cct. t t at at ta cagg t ta CAG t t a cta catat t' a t g t t c tat, t c t a c t a t tt t tag at a ca g a t. t ca t t ag ac t , tat t ca at t t ta tat ca t t a t , a at t t ' c g t a t a. t 't att at a, cat t a catatc cac t. ' gg t ctc t atg, t t c t tt a a act ca t t ac. a a ta, ag ca t a tg, t ag a ca tat c ct

Closest match: Tinea pellionella genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Case-bearing clothes moth

(image source)

[figure-skating-blue]

On the topic of Pompeii, there were also many that died going back to collect their jewelry instead of bolting out of the place as fast as they could...

[toskarin]

I think I can run about twice as fast as people from back then, so in that scenario, I could not only retrieve my jewelry, but also get the bonus jewelry nobody is using

[kay-and-bea]

prove it

[toskarin]

it happened way back then, and yet I'm here. now.

[skittypilled]

[emopunkgirl]

On set photographs from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

[skeltrr-deactivated20240630]

ORIGINAL TERROR HOUSE - TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

[foulserpent]

AMAZING ANIMALS BIOLOGY FUN FACTS

”Jesus Christ, what is that?”

”How is it alive?”

"What does it want?"

”Will it hurt me?”

”Will it hurt my children?”

It's only natural to ask questions like this when encountering such a disgusting creature, but rest assured- it's quite harmless!

Meet the hampter.

Hammers are Europe's largest species of insect. They are mostly found in plains, mountains, parking lots, underpasses, the savannah, landfills, trees, and shurbs. They are heavily endangered because they are too stupid to drink water if it's not in a water bottle manufactured for small animals. But evolution has produced a remarkable solution: a female hamper can lay thousands of eggs every day! Most of her young will die of dehydration, but the sheer numbers of hamspers makes it inevitable that at least some will find a water bottle and thus survive to sexual maturity.

Hapster biologist Dr. Lexapro Beaufort said in an interview, "I know of them. They like to sniff around in the dirt for seeds and grass and discarded cigarettes. They like to dig holes in the ground. They were not created by the same God that created everything else."

They can even be kept as pets! One proud hamser mommy had this to say. "Yeah, mine is named Keith and he fucking sucks. He just hides in a hole and only comes out when he hears me rattling my adderall prescription."

Wow! Truly the hater is the fascinating creature of planet earth.

[bakllori]

Yes

[choptop-sawyer]

[choptop-sawyer]

[gaysie]

this killed me

[choptop-sawyer]

hope youre doing well, i havent seen you around in a while ^_^

oh my gosh hi it's been a while!!! I have! just been taking time off from tumblr :) miss all of the cool people I've met on here though