WIP Wednesday | Gingerwort Truffle Tea 🍵
AKA Em & Bull take care of a high Ayla & Tal
TYSM for the tags @serensama & @in-the-drowning-deep!! I loved reading about our #friendwhofics Bellara and lookin' at your gorgeous gorgeous art!!
Have y’all ever wondered what it would be like if a flustered Emmrich & an adorably-in-love Iron Bull supervised a couple of chaos goblins who got high after drinking gingerwort tea?
Yes?
Well, that's awfully specific, but BOY do I have some good news for you!
@sunny374940 and I are in the process of writing an episode for our insane Cowboy AU fic where Tal & Ayla do just that. Big thanks to @redaresss' Rook, Zea for hooking them up with the tea! 😉 It's several episodes ahead, but we've damn near keeled over laughing while writing this, and we both have wayyy too little self control not to share some of it now.
Varric & Davrin make an appearance too.
So our WIP Wednesday entry is another collab, using the same unhinged writing process I explained in our last one. (We literally do not know of another way to write together lmao & I love that for us). 💕
Yes, it's a long for a WIP, but that's practically tradition now, and I couldn't bring myself to cut any of it lol. You can read it below! Especially if you want to learn how the picture Sunny sent me here factors into all of this...😂
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
𐚁 Tal, fucked up on…what in the fuck was it called again?
El's cat Spoon jumped up onto the porch and rubbed himself against Ayla's legs.
Ayla was here!
"Ise!" Tal shouted, hugging his best friend. She was so fucking tiny he almost missed, but the porch railing stopped him from falling off.
"Tally boy!" she shouted back. "Look, Spoon's here! I love him so much!"
"Hey," Spoon said.
Tal grabbed Ayla's face to make her look at Spoon. "He just talked," Tal whispered loudly.
"I heard," Ayla whispered back. "Hiya, Spoon!"
"Oh dear," the doctor said behind them, and Bull started laughing.
Bull was here!
"Vhenan!" Tal shouted and made his way over. "Spoon just talked!"
"What did he tell you?" Bull asked and let Tal sit on his lap, which was very nice of him.
"He said 'hey'," Ayla said before Tal could figure it out and walked over to them to sit on the doctor's lap. Tal was glad she found a lap for herself and he didn't have to share.
"Hiya, Doc!" she chirped, grabbing his face in her hands. "You're so handsomeeeeee! And soooooo sweet. I could eat you right up." She wiggled the doctor's head a little and Tal definitely heard him sigh. And the sigh turned into a weird strangled noise when Ayla licked his jaw. The doctor made a funny face that made him and Ise laugh.
"Isn't he handsome, Tally boy?" Ayla asked, leaning backwards to look Tal in the face.
"You're upside down," Tal giggled.
"No, you are," she said, and Tal gave it some thought.
"No, you," he said firmly.
"Nuh-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
"Nuh-uh."
Tal took a breath and found out that Bull had a hand over his mouth for some reason.
"That is quite enough, Ms. Lala," the doctor said as he pulled her back up, and Tal started laughing a lot.
"Doooooc," Ayla whined. "He's laughin' at meeeee."
The doctor laughed. "No one is laughing at you, darling."
Tal felt like things weren't adding up, but he had more important matters to worry about right now, like Bull's hand that still wasn't letting him go.
He licked his palm.
"We're laughing with ya," Bull said, wiping his hand on Tal's trousers, and that was bullshit. They were definitely laughing at her.
"I don't get ittttt!" Ayla wailed, crossing her arms and leaning into the doctor, when she suddenly started sniffing around like Bluebell did when she knew Tal was coming with sugar cubes. She grabbed the doctor's hand, kissed it, and sniffed it too and then his hat and then she put the hat on and sniffled.
"Is everything alright, my dear?" the doctor asked, producing a handkerchief to wipe her eyes. Why in the fuck was she crying?
"You smell soooooo goooood. Just like calendulas." Ayla sniffled again. "I like you a lot, you know? I like how you smell and your eyes are like honey and you're soooo handsome and it's soooo unfaaaair."
She cuddled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder and she almost looked cute like that.
If it wasn't for the hat.
The doctor wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. "This is rather nice," he said quietly.
"Not sure if I'd agree right now," Bull sighed, because he apparently minded that Tal was standing on a chair and trying to figure out how to sit on his horns. They were very wide, so he would definitely fit.
The doctor jumped like he forgot they were here too.
"What are you up to?" Varric asked, and the doctor jumped again.
"Hello, Consort," Tal shouted and tried to get a leg over Bull's shoulder. "We got fucked up on gingytwat tea!"
"I can see that," Varric laughed.
Ayla unfolded herself from the doctor's lap – not like there was a lot to unfold, since she forgot to grow up – and went to hug Varric.
"Finally someone normal sized," she sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Look at those giants!" she exclaimed, pointing at Tal and Bull and the doctor. "They're soooo taaaaalllll. I fuckin' hate it, do you know how much my neck hurts when I have to look up all the time?"
Varric laughed and patted her back. "You're so right, Cookie. They're being real inconsiderate."
"I knew you'd get meeeeee," she squealed, pinching his cheeks.
"Always," Varric chuckled. "I'm going to the Feet, you want something?"
Tal made a face and Bull and the doctor shook their heads.
"Bring me coookieeee," Ayla sing-songed, kissing his cheek. "Please?"
"Alright, a cookie for Cookie. I'll be back," Varric said, leaving them. Ayla walked back up on the porch and plopped herself onto Emmrich's lap again.
He looked really happy about that.
Tal decided to change up his approach, and tried to get a foot on Bull's shoulder, but Bull took it and gently put it back on the chair.
"You're a little too big for this, kadan," he chuckled.
"Am not," Tal said firmly. "We do this sometimes in the bedroom and you never say I'm too big then," he accused. "You like my ass on your face.
"I do, but not when you're this high."
Tal looked down on the porch planks. He was high up, that was true, so he stepped onto Bull's lap and sat down to cuddle up to him. "Better?" he asked, kissing his pretty husband's cheek.
"Emmrich," Ayla whispered. "Emmmmmriiiich. Why don't we try that too?"
"Try what, darling?" The doctor raised an eyebrow. Tal tried doing it like him, but his eyebrows weren't nearly as agile, so he kissed Bull again instead.
"Me on your horns," she said grabbing his face to stare into his eyes.
The doctor laughed. He had a fun laugh. "I don't have horns."
"Bull could let you borrow them. Right, Bull?" Ayla chirped, and Tal grabbed Bull's horn before she decided to steal it.
"Sure thing," Bull chuckled.
Tal gasped. "Vhenan! We need those!"
Bull started laughing a lot and Emmrich did too. Emmmmmriiiich. Such a fucking weird name.
"Fine," Ayla snapped and made a face at Tal, so he made one back. "I'll just sit on your face, then," she said to the doctor. "You won't mind, right, sugar?"
"I suppose I wouldn't," Emmrich said with a smirk that was almost as good as Ayla's. She squealed so loud that it nearly took Tal's ears off.
"Really? You're sooooo sweeeet!" she shouted, licking his jaw again.
Probably to check if she was right.
The doctor went very red in the face and Ayla giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his.
"Would you unstick that?" Bull suddenly asked, so Tal stopped watching those two and looked up at the prettiest person in the world.
"You're the prettiest person in all of Thedas," Tal sighed. "I have never seen anyone as pretty as you."
Bull laughed that rumbly laugh of his. It made Tal feel happy. "Thanks, kadan," he said and kissed Tal's forehead, which made him even happier. "And what about the unsticking?"
"What's stuck?"
"You are," Bull said and pointed to his horn, which had Tal's metal hand wrapped around it.
"I was worried Ise would steal it," Tal whispered.
"I would have!" Ise cackled. "But I don't need to anymore, 'cause Doc Emmmmmmriiiich Volcarnage –"
"Volkarin," Emmrich sighed. "It's Volkarin, my dear." He was still a little red about the licking.
"Volkarin!" Ayla shouted. "Thank you kindly, sugar," she said with a kiss to his cheek. "He'll let me sit on his face!"
"Good for you," Bull said, poking Tal's metal hand. Tal unstuck it, since the horns were safe now. Bull kissed his forehead again, which was really nice, and Tal rested his head on Bull's shoulder with a sigh.
Being with his husband and his friends was so nice.
Spoon jumped up on the table and bonked Tal's head with his. "Want me to show you something cool?" he asked, flicking his tail.
"Ise, he's talking to me again," Tal whispered. "Fuck yeah, I do," he said to Spoon, who hopped back down and walked out onto the street.
"Come on, then," Spoon said and started running towards the saloon.
Tal made a decision.
He jumped off Bull and pulled Ise out of Emmrich's lap. "Hop on, we're going after him," he said, helping her get on his back.
"What about Bull and Doc?" she asked as she wrapped her legs around his waist to hold on.
"They'll never catch us!" Tal shouted before taking off.
Ayla was cackling wildly and he joined in, because this was fucking awesome.
𐚁 Ayla, the most beautiful knight in all of Thedas, riding atop the most handsomest, faithfulest steed
"Yah, yah!"
Ayla kicked her bare heels into Tal's side, and he neighed and went faster just like a horse. A nice one, not like that evil fuckin' hellbeast of his. They were going so fast she could feel the wind in her hair and it tickled her face. And everything was blurry. But they had to keep up with Spoon, because he'd promised to show them something cool.
"Woahhhhh there, boy," Ayla murmured, pulling up on Tal's neck a little, since he didn't have reins for some stupid reason.
Spoon had stopped in front of the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Hah! That was fun to say.
Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon.
"Whatcha sayin' that for, Ise?"
"OH! I didn't realize that was out loud. Sorry."
"HEY," Tal started, setting her down and gently grabbing her face in his hands. "Don't you apologize to me."
"Whatever you say, Tally boy."
"Yes." Tal nodded his head and kissed the top of hers, which was very weird but super cute.
She patted his side so he'd know he did well getting her here, and he kissed the top of her head again.
Was he going to keep doing it?
Should she do it too?
But he was soooo taaaaaallllll.
Taaaaalllll Taaaaaalllll.
That was fun to say too.
"Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing, Ms. Thorne," tall Tal nodded his stupidly handsome head again, and she still couldn't reach up there. "You're so fucking tiny, though. Why?"
"Because you're so taaaalll, Taaaalll."
Tal looked like he was thinking a lot, he got all frowny and stepped closer to measure how much shorter than him she was with his hand on top of her head.
She was shorter by a damn lot.
"Alright," Tal shrugged.
"Come check this shit out," Spoon said, flicking his tail towards the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Ayla grabbed Tal's hand and they followed the cutest cat in the world. And he led them all the way to Zea.
"Zea!" she squealed. "Your hair is sooooo gorgeous. It looks like BLOOD."
"Uh…alright. Thanks?" Zea looked at the two of them with a concerned look in her beautiful lilac eyes that were right on her beautiful beautiful face. "You guys okay?"
Tal waved his hand in the air. "We're fine, Zea. That gingytwat tea we made from those gingytwats you sold me is really good, did you know? Look how fucked up we are."
Zea started laughing.
"Taaaaaaaal, she's laughin' at meeeeeeeeee," Ayla whined.
Tal stopped laughing along with Zea and glared at her instead. "Wait wait wait. Laughing at Ise is my job. You can't do that."
"No! I was laughing with her."
"Alright," Tal said, shrugging.
Ayla scrunched up her nose, because that still didn't make a fuckin' lick of sense for some reason, but it didn't even matter because Spoon had found the coolest, cutest thing. And all of a sudden there was a high pitched noise.
Oh, whoopsie. That was Ayla.
"Who is heeeeeeeee?!" she asked, kneeling down in the dirt next to Spoon in front of Spoon's friend.
Zea laughed again. "I just found him today!"
"Wow," Ayla breathed as she looked at what was definitely the most handsomest, cutest garden nug statue she'd ever ever seen.
"Fucking shit what in the fuck is that??" Tal asked.
"Don't be rude!" Ayla said, smacking him. "He's a nug, silly."
"But what is it?"
"No idea," Zea said, shrugging. "Found it in a tomb or something."
Tal stared at Mr. Nug for a loooooong time.
"Fuckin' cursed is what it is." He shuddered and made a face like he did when she danced with her pretty boob tassels. "It's got people hands."
Ohohohohohoho.
Ayla had an idea.
The very best idea, actually.
"How much for Mr. Nug?" she asked, reaching out to cradle him in her arms.
"Ise! Don't touch it! Creators, it's probably cursed or some shit."
Ayla held Mr. Nug up to Tal's face and shook him back and forth a little. "Awwwwwwwww but look at himmmmmmmm. Mr. Nug is just a widdle guy! He wouldn't curse nobody—right Mr. Nug!?"
Tal took a step back while making another face at Mr. Nug, because he was silly like that.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Davvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!!!!" Ayla jumped up and gave Davrin the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, being very careful not to squish Mr. Nug. Or to knock the big bag of peanuts off of Davrin's shoulder.
"Hey Ayla, you good?" Davrin smiled that big beautiful smile of his and he laughed his big booming laugh and Andraste's tits he was handsome. Was Davrin always this handsome?
She'd have to tell Sylvie.
"You mean 'who' the fuck is that, and the answer is Mr. Nug."
"He's cursed," Tal explained, incorrectly.
"And you're touching it?"
Tal gestured towards Davrin and rolled his eyes at her. "See? Fucking told you."
"Well, I'm buyin' him." Ayla dug around in her skirts. "How much did you say Mr. Nug was again?" she asked Zea.
"I didn't. But why don't you take him off my hands for free—I think he likes you."
"REALLY?!" Ayla ran over and gave Zea a big kiss on her beautiful cheek. She had a very hard time reaching. "That's okay Zea. It's not your fault you're so damn tall."
Zea started laughing again. "Thanks."
"No need to thank me!" Ayla said. "Thank YOU sooooooo much, sugar. I promise Tal and I will take good care of him."
"I won't," Tal snapped, which was mean of him. But he'd come around. And he bent over to talk to Spoon again before turning back to Ayla. "Come on, Ise!" he shouted, even though Ayla was real close and could hear him just fine. "Spoon said he's got something else to show us!"
Ayla took a running start and Tal caught her and Mr. Nug and threw them onto his back before galloping away after Spoon.
Damn. This was the best day. She couldn't wait to tell her handsome Em about this.
He was gonna love Mr. Nug.
𐚁 Emmrich, anxiously looking after a very intoxicated, yet very adorable madwoman
"EM!! There's that handsome ass of his!"
Emmrich's face lit up, and he and Bull both laughed when Tal skidded to a halt in front of them, a very exuberant Ayla still riding upon his back.
"Careful, Ise," he said, gently lowering her to the ground.
"What have you got there, darling?" Emmrich asked, suspiciously eyeing those lovely hands of hers as she ran over to him.
"Emmmmriiiich! We saw the coolest insect!" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she helped herself to his lap again.
"Did you?" he asked, eagerly wrapping his arms around her.
"We did!" Tal nodded his head, once again at home in Iron Bull's lap on the other side of the table.
"That's nice, kadan."
Emmrich looked down at what appeared to be a rather grotesque nug statue on Ayla's—and now his—lap.
"And who's your little friend here?"
"Ohhh! This is Mr. Nug."
"Charmed."
Howdy y'all! Gently taggin' you just to say hiya. Me, Sunny, and Mr. Nug would love to see your WIPs if you got 'em! 💕
@onelooseskull @serialsforbellara @davrinsleftpectoral @blackwall-my-tiny-husband @hedwigoprah @guacamolleee @introvertedfangrl @vishantikaffar @sorcerousadventurer @necromanticsoul @brightbreezeblog @casa-dei-corvei @lycheecatee @handsignals @wolfmoonwildflowers @sandcastlekings @notyourmamasdeerbat @curiouswisp @quaksi @trash-nerd @trashwithvariety @dudewheresmynug @rooks-dagger @grand-crow @tevivinter @genjyoandgojyoandhakkai @seaglassmelody @zennihilation @kogarashi-art @pinkvbay @chaosherald @xkatchy @brynriith @in-the-drowning-deep @ass-deep-in-demons @bronzieinthedas @winterhartarts @oddsaint22 @therivercrow @veilguardingonmain 🌿
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post