TYSM for the tags @guacamolleee, @sorcerousadventurer, @xkatchy, @genjyoandgojyoandhakkai, @trashwithvariety, @seaglassmelody! I really loved getting a sneak peak at what y'all have cookin'!! 👀💕
In an attempt to break tradition and actually do a short snippet for once (lololol) here is a little scene I just finished for a future chapter of @sunny374940 & I's crazy Cowboy AU! 🤠
NO LONGER A WIP: READ THE FULL CHAPTER HERE!
Ayla, never more invested in a game of chess in her entire fuckin' life
"What's this one?" Ayla asked, flirtatiously leaning into Emmrich's shoulder.
"A mage, darling."
She smirked. "'Course it is. It's tall, just like you."
Em chuckled and beamed up at her before nodding across the table. "What about you, Bull?"
"Tamassran."
Emmrich made a pleased hum and repeated the name in Qunlat, momentarily distracting her. "What about the horsey?" she asked.
"Knight."
"Ben-Hassrath."
Ayla nodded, leaning further into Emmrich when she pointed to one of the only unique pieces on his side of the board. "And the one with the cute little hat?"
"The queen, dear."
"Arishok. Like our Ise." Emmrich raised a curious brow, and Bull explained, "'War-leader'."
"Ah, of course," Emmrich hummed, smiling at her. "Due to the extraordinarily versatile and powerful nature of the piece, I presume." Ayla fucking blushed, and Tal rolled his eyes as he wandered in to join them. But Bull just let out another loud laugh.
"Domineering, more like," he teased, making Tal choke on his wine.
Ayla flipped them off behind Emmrich's head, who surprised her by turning to shoot a sly smirk her way. "Looks like you've been promoted, darling." He snickered when she gave him a confused look. "From First Warden, to Arishok."
Tal damn near spilled his wine across the fucking chess board he laughed so hard, Bull and Emmrich right along with him. Ayla begrudgingly joined in, even though the look Em was giving her was gettin' her all hot and bothered. And fuck if he didn't notice it was making her feel something at least, given the sexy little wink he gave her too.
Andraste's tits.
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Tags below the cut! For all of y'all down below and anyone reading, show us what you got cookin' if you're so inclined! 💕
"Come now, Mr. Lavellan—surely we can work something out, hm?"
Ayla snickered under her breath as Emmrich cooed his futile little pleas up against the storage room door. "This is all quite unnecessary, I assure you!"
She rolled her eyes. "You're wastin' your breath, Em." Ayla hopped up on a shelf and leaned back, kicking her feet and laughing again when he rolled his eyes too, ignoring her.
"My dear Mr. Lavellan, surely as a man of reason, a fellow scientist, you must—"
He was interrupted by Tal's loud, scathing laughter from the other side of the door.
"Nope!"
...good ol' Varric sings an original song...🐮
"Cows?!"
"Don't judge me until you've read the whole thing," he said, holding up his hands in protest.
Ayla rolled her eyes but did as the idiot said, snickering while she did—even more so when Emmrich read it over her shoulder and joined in.
"You know that tune 'Gals Around'?" Varric asked, humming it under his breath.
"'Course, sugar."
"Great. Well, just replace 'gals' with 'cows,' and you're halfway there."
She threw her head back against Em's chest in a loud cackle.
"Oh, this is gonna be good."
...and Emmrich makes a confession. 👀
"My darling, girl. Please forgive me." He squeezed Ayla's hand where he held it between his, and let out another long, tortured sigh.
"…There's something I must tell you."
Ep. 10 | The Dead Wife 🪦
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS EPISODE'S GOT:
🔥 Ayla doing a bit
💞 Idiots in Love
👶 A babysittin' Tal
🪦 Dead Wife Lore™️
🐮 And Varric's COW SONG
READY FOR A PINT AT THE GRIFFON? 🍺
READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & another sneak peek below!
Dedicated to Thana Ingellvar, my pal @guacamolleee's Rook, and Emmrich's tragically deceased wife. RIP, sugar. 💕
𐚁 Ayla, preparing to sing a Varric original (apparently)
Ayla gave Emmrich another lingering kiss before following Antoine up onto the stage. Varric joined them, loudly clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. And it worked…
…but not well enough.
"HEY! Y'ALL ARE GONNA WANT TO HEAR THIS ONE!" she hollered, winking at Em when he snickered.
"The fuck is she yelling about?" Tal asked, disentangling himself from Bull to join him at Edwin's table. Tally boy and Bull must have had a fun afternoon, she reckoned, given the giant grins they had on both their faces.
Ayla heard Emmrich snicker again before replying, "My dear Mr. Lavellan, I'm afraid you'll just have to find out for yourself."
Tal made a horrified expression and glanced back up at the stage, and now it was Ayla's turn to snicker as she counted them down, her fingers flying as she plucked the familiar tune on her guitar.
Then Varric downed the rest of his pint and started to sing.
Well, everything is better with some cows around
Livin' in town sometimes brings me down
Let me bestow this western blessing and share what I have found
May you always have cows around
The bar had exploded into hootin' and hollerin', but of course, Ayla didn't have eyes for really anyone else besides Emmrich, who was laughing along with Bull and staring at her with the sweetest, most adorable fucking look on his face.
C'mon you know that you got too much time on your hands
Not merely enough complication in your plans
You need to invite all the frustration that you can
May you always have cows around
Ayla finally managed to pull her attention away from her handsome doctor and gawk around, smirking at Mayor Cassandra, who had her head in her hands. But Ayla could still see her lips threatening to curl into a full-on grin beneath them. Tal looked even less enthused, honestly, about as much as Uncle El at the bar…
Ayla grimaced, recalling the lyrics she'd just skimmed in Varric's nearly impossible-to-read handwriting.
Andraste, take the reins.
🐮 CATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🃏 Episode 9: Wicked Game
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Tal x Bull: Beautiful
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Ploppin' the usual cowboys below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
He wears a rotation of understated, yet elegant ensembles. He styles his hair the same way each morning—just so. He does not drink often, but when he does, he prefers a nice Antivan brandy, if you please. And, without fail, you can find him snugly tucked into bed not long after nightfall.
But shortly after arriving to Lavendel and getting roped into a rare, late night of revelry, he has a hard time finding it. His bed that is.
And what he discovers instead plunges him into a series of events, adventure, and intrigue on a scale so massive, that if the good doctor knew?
Well.
He’d be shakin’ in his boots.
Yeehaw Peepaw! Series Premiere
Episode 1: A Murder Most Rootin' Tootin’
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
🐴 READY TO RIDE?
READ EPISODE 1 NOW!
Howdy, partner! Saddle up and get ready for the wild ride that is Episode 1, which is packed full to the brim with:
👢 Hilarious hijinks
😒 An exasperated Emmrich
🔫 A gun-totin' Ayla
🗡️ And yep, you guessed it: MURDER!
Read Ep. 1 HERE & catch a sneak peek below!
Master Post | What's New On Nugflix? | Library
Emmrich loosened his bolo tie with a weary sigh.
The lengthy week-long journey to Lavendel had already worn him out well before he was strong-armed by a few locals into joining the evening's revelries at the Golden Griffon's bar.
And while the fine company and even finer brandy managed to lift his spirits somewhat, he wanted nothing more than to finally escape to the silence of his room and collapse upon the rather comfortable-looking feather bed he'd been dreaming of ever since he arrived in town earlier that afternoon.
He stumbled up the stairs before letting out another sigh. This time in annoyance.
Oh, for goodness sake.
As Emmrich reached the landing, it became apparent that he hadn't the faintest clue where his room even was. He had been so embarrassingly distracted by the fetching young lady who led him to it that there was no recollection of its location at all in his empty, lecherous mind.
He snickered softly to himself. While his room number remained a mystery, of course, he had somehow managed to remember her name. But even the delightful vision of the buxom, raven-haired Ms. Thorne couldn't erase his growing frustration in the present moment.
Desperate for his bed, he made a calculated guess and swung open the door.
Unfortunately for Emmrich, it wasn't his.
…It was also decidedly occupied.
And by none other than Ms. Ayla Thorne herself.
"Andraste's fucking tits!"
Emmrich felt his cheeks grow hot as he took in the risqué scene. Ms. Thorne wasn't alone—a rather large gentleman was wrestling about on top of her, his tall frame practically swallowing the small woman entirely.
He wasn't naive. Emmrich was well aware that brandy wasn't the only indulgence offered up at the Griffon. But he at least hoped to be spared the indignities of witnessing the act first-hand himself. And Maker have mercy, the thought of using a bed for anything other than sleeping at such a late hour seemed positively ludicrous.
Even with someone as lovely as Ms. Thorne.
Emmrich moved to shut the door, but despite his flustered state, something about the gentleman's movements gave him pause. His agitation didn't appear to be from…er…doing the deed (Emmrich was very hesitant to call such a passionless act 'lovemaking').
But rather, from violence.
🐴 READ THE REST OF EPISODE 1 HERE!
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below, plus a few extra pals I think might get a kick outta this! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! 🤠
WIP Wednesday | Dr. Volkarin's (Positively Dreadful) Night Out
TYSM for the tags @kogarashi-art @sorcerousadventurer @pixiedurango @jenn2d2 & @redaresss! Y'all are cookin' up some juicy fics and beautiful art, thank you so much for giving us a peek! 💕
I've had a lot of fun working on this one for @sunny374940 & I's crazy Cowboy AU: Western!Emmrich has reluctantly teamed up with Ms. Ayla re: her Inigo Montoya-esque revenge quest against Venatori assholes everywhere.
You killed her mama. Prepare to die.
Their next scheme? Well, they're lookin' to pry some information outta this shady 'Bataris' fellow who just rolled into town. And, unfortunately, poor Doc is straight up not having a good time y'all. 🥲
✨ NO LONGER A WIP! YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE FULL EPISODE HERE!
𐚁 Emmrich, very much cursing his past self for allowing that lovely madwoman to talk him into this
He ordered a glass of brandy at the bar simply for something to do, and tried to return Davrin's smile when he joked, "Go easy on that stuff Doc," knowing very well it would be the only beverage he would pour Emmrich for the rest of the evening.
…But when Ayla began making her way towards a blonde gentleman—whom he now presumed to be Bataris—he jokingly wondered if tonight might actually be an exception.
Emmrich couldn't bear to watch, but he found it impossible not to as Ayla sidled up to the rather menacing-looking man where he sat further down the bar. He sure had to hand it to the woman—she was truly a master of her craft. With a toss of her beautiful raven hair, a few laughs, and a strategically placed hand on his arm, it was ridiculous how quickly she had the villain wrapped around her finger.
And, unfortunately, something…stirred within Emmrich at the sight. Something angry. Grasping. Greedy. But for some reason he couldn't look away. And when Ayla sat down in Bataris' lap to give him a kiss on the cheek, and both of his hands possessively grabbed her waist and yanked her further into his clutches, Emmrich actually considered it quite lucky when the glass in his hand merely cracked instead of shattering into a thousand pieces.
He set it down gingerly onto the bar, offering Davrin embarrassed apologies alongside the coin to replace it, but the dear man simply clapped him on the back and gave him another.
"Told you to go easy on the stuff there, Doc," he teased with a wink.
He only half heard him, because now Ayla was whispering into the wretch's ear. Emmrich set down his new brandy glass lest he break it as well, and just in time, as the villain's hands had begun to wander towards Ayla's lovely backside. Which appeared to be where she drew the line, subtly twisting and squirming in an attempt to get out of his grasp, all the while murmuring admonishments in that seductive purr of hers.
"A little eager now, aren't you, sugar?" he heard her say, kissing the evil man on the cheek.
"With that ass? Not even the Maker could blame me." Bataris let out a barking laugh before turning his head to guide her lips to his.
And before he knew what he was doing, Emmrich suddenly found himself hurtling towards them.
"I think that's quite enough," he growled, shooting daggers towards the scoundrel who repeatedly continued to draw Ayla back down into a kiss. She turned to give Emmrich a pleading look, and mouthed 'I got this'. Clearly annoyed he was going off script.
Unfortunately, Emmrich couldn't really seem to find it in him to care.
"Who the fuck are you?" Bataris grumbled, giving him a menacing stare.
"That hardly signifies, since it's rather time we were leaving."
Ayla's glare was so icy, Emmrich was surprised he didn't catch a chill, and the man looked at her with a worrying expression on his face. "What the fuck? Is grandpa with you or something, baby?"
Emmrich couldn't quite believe his ears when she replied, "Yes, actually. He is."
Both his and Bataris' mouth fell open in surprise, and Ayla smirked, leaning in to whisper, "He likes to watch." She gave Emmrich a cheeky glance. "Don't you, sugar?"
'Trust me,' she mouthed.
Sweet Maker have mercy.
Emmrich's jaw stayed appallingly agape when Ayla grabbed Bataris by the collar to yank him up towards her face. So close their noses were touching.
"And call him that again, and you'll be doin' it without any teeth."
✨ NO LONGER A WIP! CHECK OUT THE FULL EPISODE HERE!
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Masterpost
No one calls Em 'grandpa' in front of Ms. Thorne and gets away with it, no siree. 🙂↕️🔥 I'm plopping the usual cowboys below with the gentlest of tags for you and anyone reading to share what y'all have cookin' if you're inclined to do so! 💕
TYSM for the tags @serensama & @in-the-drowning-deep!! I loved reading about our #friendwhofics Bellara and lookin' at your gorgeous gorgeous art!!
Have y’all ever wondered what it would be like if a flustered Emmrich & an adorably-in-love Iron Bull supervised a couple of chaos goblins who got high after drinking gingerwort tea?
Yes?
Well, that's awfully specific, but BOY do I have some good news for you!
@sunny374940 and I are in the process of writing an episode for our insane Cowboy AU fic where Tal & Ayla do just that. Big thanks to @redaresss' Rook, Zea for hooking them up with the tea! 😉 It's several episodes ahead, but we've damn near keeled over laughing while writing this, and we both have wayyy too little self control not to share some of it now.
Varric & Davrin make an appearance too.
So our WIP Wednesday entry is another collab, using the same unhinged writing process I explained in our last one. (We literally do not know of another way to write together lmao & I love that for us). 💕
Yes, it's a long for a WIP, but that's practically tradition now, and I couldn't bring myself to cut any of it lol. You can read it below! Especially if you want to learn how the picture Sunny sent me here factors into all of this...😂
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
𐚁 Tal, fucked up on…what in the fuck was it called again?
El's cat Spoon jumped up onto the porch and rubbed himself against Ayla's legs.
Ayla was here!
"Ise!" Tal shouted, hugging his best friend. She was so fucking tiny he almost missed, but the porch railing stopped him from falling off.
"Tally boy!" she shouted back. "Look, Spoon's here! I love him so much!"
"Hey," Spoon said.
Tal grabbed Ayla's face to make her look at Spoon. "He just talked," Tal whispered loudly.
"I heard," Ayla whispered back. "Hiya, Spoon!"
"Oh dear," the doctor said behind them, and Bull started laughing.
Bull was here!
"Vhenan!" Tal shouted and made his way over. "Spoon just talked!"
"What did he tell you?" Bull asked and let Tal sit on his lap, which was very nice of him.
"He said 'hey'," Ayla said before Tal could figure it out and walked over to them to sit on the doctor's lap. Tal was glad she found a lap for herself and he didn't have to share.
"Hiya, Doc!" she chirped, grabbing his face in her hands. "You're so handsomeeeeee! And soooooo sweet. I could eat you right up." She wiggled the doctor's head a little and Tal definitely heard him sigh. And the sigh turned into a weird strangled noise when Ayla licked his jaw. The doctor made a funny face that made him and Ise laugh.
"Isn't he handsome, Tally boy?" Ayla asked, leaning backwards to look Tal in the face.
"You're upside down," Tal giggled.
"No, you are," she said, and Tal gave it some thought.
"No, you," he said firmly.
"Nuh-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
"Nuh-uh."
Tal took a breath and found out that Bull had a hand over his mouth for some reason.
"That is quite enough, Ms. Lala," the doctor said as he pulled her back up, and Tal started laughing a lot.
"Doooooc," Ayla whined. "He's laughin' at meeeee."
The doctor laughed. "No one is laughing at you, darling."
Tal felt like things weren't adding up, but he had more important matters to worry about right now, like Bull's hand that still wasn't letting him go.
He licked his palm.
"We're laughing with ya," Bull said, wiping his hand on Tal's trousers, and that was bullshit. They were definitely laughing at her.
"I don't get ittttt!" Ayla wailed, crossing her arms and leaning into the doctor, when she suddenly started sniffing around like Bluebell did when she knew Tal was coming with sugar cubes. She grabbed the doctor's hand, kissed it, and sniffed it too and then his hat and then she put the hat on and sniffled.
"Is everything alright, my dear?" the doctor asked, producing a handkerchief to wipe her eyes. Why in the fuck was she crying?
"You smell soooooo goooood. Just like calendulas." Ayla sniffled again. "I like you a lot, you know? I like how you smell and your eyes are like honey and you're soooo handsome and it's soooo unfaaaair."
She cuddled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder and she almost looked cute like that.
If it wasn't for the hat.
The doctor wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. "This is rather nice," he said quietly.
"Not sure if I'd agree right now," Bull sighed, because he apparently minded that Tal was standing on a chair and trying to figure out how to sit on his horns. They were very wide, so he would definitely fit.
The doctor jumped like he forgot they were here too.
"What are you up to?" Varric asked, and the doctor jumped again.
"Hello, Consort," Tal shouted and tried to get a leg over Bull's shoulder. "We got fucked up on gingytwat tea!"
"I can see that," Varric laughed.
Ayla unfolded herself from the doctor's lap – not like there was a lot to unfold, since she forgot to grow up – and went to hug Varric.
"Finally someone normal sized," she sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Look at those giants!" she exclaimed, pointing at Tal and Bull and the doctor. "They're soooo taaaaalllll. I fuckin' hate it, do you know how much my neck hurts when I have to look up all the time?"
Varric laughed and patted her back. "You're so right, Cookie. They're being real inconsiderate."
"I knew you'd get meeeeee," she squealed, pinching his cheeks.
"Always," Varric chuckled. "I'm going to the Feet, you want something?"
Tal made a face and Bull and the doctor shook their heads.
"Bring me coookieeee," Ayla sing-songed, kissing his cheek. "Please?"
"Alright, a cookie for Cookie. I'll be back," Varric said, leaving them. Ayla walked back up on the porch and plopped herself onto Emmrich's lap again.
He looked really happy about that.
Tal decided to change up his approach, and tried to get a foot on Bull's shoulder, but Bull took it and gently put it back on the chair.
"You're a little too big for this, kadan," he chuckled.
"Am not," Tal said firmly. "We do this sometimes in the bedroom and you never say I'm too big then," he accused. "You like my ass on your face.
"I do, but not when you're this high."
Tal looked down on the porch planks. He was high up, that was true, so he stepped onto Bull's lap and sat down to cuddle up to him. "Better?" he asked, kissing his pretty husband's cheek.
"Emmrich," Ayla whispered. "Emmmmmriiiich. Why don't we try that too?"
"Try what, darling?" The doctor raised an eyebrow. Tal tried doing it like him, but his eyebrows weren't nearly as agile, so he kissed Bull again instead.
"Me on your horns," she said grabbing his face to stare into his eyes.
The doctor laughed. He had a fun laugh. "I don't have horns."
"Bull could let you borrow them. Right, Bull?" Ayla chirped, and Tal grabbed Bull's horn before she decided to steal it.
"Sure thing," Bull chuckled.
Tal gasped. "Vhenan! We need those!"
Bull started laughing a lot and Emmrich did too. Emmmmmriiiich. Such a fucking weird name.
"Fine," Ayla snapped and made a face at Tal, so he made one back. "I'll just sit on your face, then," she said to the doctor. "You won't mind, right, sugar?"
"I suppose I wouldn't," Emmrich said with a smirk that was almost as good as Ayla's. She squealed so loud that it nearly took Tal's ears off.
"Really? You're sooooo sweeeet!" she shouted, licking his jaw again.
Probably to check if she was right.
The doctor went very red in the face and Ayla giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his.
"Would you unstick that?" Bull suddenly asked, so Tal stopped watching those two and looked up at the prettiest person in the world.
"You're the prettiest person in all of Thedas," Tal sighed. "I have never seen anyone as pretty as you."
Bull laughed that rumbly laugh of his. It made Tal feel happy. "Thanks, kadan," he said and kissed Tal's forehead, which made him even happier. "And what about the unsticking?"
"What's stuck?"
"You are," Bull said and pointed to his horn, which had Tal's metal hand wrapped around it.
"I was worried Ise would steal it," Tal whispered.
"I would have!" Ise cackled. "But I don't need to anymore, 'cause Doc Emmmmmmriiiich Volcarnage –"
"Volkarin," Emmrich sighed. "It's Volkarin, my dear." He was still a little red about the licking.
"Volkarin!" Ayla shouted. "Thank you kindly, sugar," she said with a kiss to his cheek. "He'll let me sit on his face!"
"Good for you," Bull said, poking Tal's metal hand. Tal unstuck it, since the horns were safe now. Bull kissed his forehead again, which was really nice, and Tal rested his head on Bull's shoulder with a sigh.
Being with his husband and his friends was so nice.
Spoon jumped up on the table and bonked Tal's head with his. "Want me to show you something cool?" he asked, flicking his tail.
"Ise, he's talking to me again," Tal whispered. "Fuck yeah, I do," he said to Spoon, who hopped back down and walked out onto the street.
"Come on, then," Spoon said and started running towards the saloon.
Tal made a decision.
He jumped off Bull and pulled Ise out of Emmrich's lap. "Hop on, we're going after him," he said, helping her get on his back.
"What about Bull and Doc?" she asked as she wrapped her legs around his waist to hold on.
"They'll never catch us!" Tal shouted before taking off.
Ayla was cackling wildly and he joined in, because this was fucking awesome.
𐚁 Ayla, the most beautiful knight in all of Thedas, riding atop the most handsomest, faithfulest steed
"Yah, yah!"
Ayla kicked her bare heels into Tal's side, and he neighed and went faster just like a horse. A nice one, not like that evil fuckin' hellbeast of his. They were going so fast she could feel the wind in her hair and it tickled her face. And everything was blurry. But they had to keep up with Spoon, because he'd promised to show them something cool.
"Woahhhhh there, boy," Ayla murmured, pulling up on Tal's neck a little, since he didn't have reins for some stupid reason.
Spoon had stopped in front of the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Hah! That was fun to say.
Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon.
"Whatcha sayin' that for, Ise?"
"OH! I didn't realize that was out loud. Sorry."
"HEY," Tal started, setting her down and gently grabbing her face in his hands. "Don't you apologize to me."
"Whatever you say, Tally boy."
"Yes." Tal nodded his head and kissed the top of hers, which was very weird but super cute.
She patted his side so he'd know he did well getting her here, and he kissed the top of her head again.
Was he going to keep doing it?
Should she do it too?
But he was soooo taaaaaallllll.
Taaaaalllll Taaaaaalllll.
That was fun to say too.
"Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing, Ms. Thorne," tall Tal nodded his stupidly handsome head again, and she still couldn't reach up there. "You're so fucking tiny, though. Why?"
"Because you're so taaaalll, Taaaalll."
Tal looked like he was thinking a lot, he got all frowny and stepped closer to measure how much shorter than him she was with his hand on top of her head.
She was shorter by a damn lot.
"Alright," Tal shrugged.
"Come check this shit out," Spoon said, flicking his tail towards the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Ayla grabbed Tal's hand and they followed the cutest cat in the world. And he led them all the way to Zea.
"Zea!" she squealed. "Your hair is sooooo gorgeous. It looks like BLOOD."
"Uh…alright. Thanks?" Zea looked at the two of them with a concerned look in her beautiful lilac eyes that were right on her beautiful beautiful face. "You guys okay?"
Tal waved his hand in the air. "We're fine, Zea. That gingytwat tea we made from those gingytwats you sold me is really good, did you know? Look how fucked up we are."
Zea started laughing.
"Taaaaaaaal, she's laughin' at meeeeeeeeee," Ayla whined.
Tal stopped laughing along with Zea and glared at her instead. "Wait wait wait. Laughing at Ise is my job. You can't do that."
"No! I was laughing with her."
"Alright," Tal said, shrugging.
Ayla scrunched up her nose, because that still didn't make a fuckin' lick of sense for some reason, but it didn't even matter because Spoon had found the coolest, cutest thing. And all of a sudden there was a high pitched noise.
Oh, whoopsie. That was Ayla.
"Who is heeeeeeeee?!" she asked, kneeling down in the dirt next to Spoon in front of Spoon's friend.
Zea laughed again. "I just found him today!"
"Wow," Ayla breathed as she looked at what was definitely the most handsomest, cutest garden nug statue she'd ever ever seen.
"Fucking shit what in the fuck is that??" Tal asked.
"Don't be rude!" Ayla said, smacking him. "He's a nug, silly."
"But what is it?"
"No idea," Zea said, shrugging. "Found it in a tomb or something."
Tal stared at Mr. Nug for a loooooong time.
"Fuckin' cursed is what it is." He shuddered and made a face like he did when she danced with her pretty boob tassels. "It's got people hands."
Ohohohohohoho.
Ayla had an idea.
The very best idea, actually.
"How much for Mr. Nug?" she asked, reaching out to cradle him in her arms.
"Ise! Don't touch it! Creators, it's probably cursed or some shit."
Ayla held Mr. Nug up to Tal's face and shook him back and forth a little. "Awwwwwwwww but look at himmmmmmmm. Mr. Nug is just a widdle guy! He wouldn't curse nobody—right Mr. Nug!?"
Tal took a step back while making another face at Mr. Nug, because he was silly like that.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Davvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!!!!" Ayla jumped up and gave Davrin the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, being very careful not to squish Mr. Nug. Or to knock the big bag of peanuts off of Davrin's shoulder.
"Hey Ayla, you good?" Davrin smiled that big beautiful smile of his and he laughed his big booming laugh and Andraste's tits he was handsome. Was Davrin always this handsome?
She'd have to tell Sylvie.
"You mean 'who' the fuck is that, and the answer is Mr. Nug."
"He's cursed," Tal explained, incorrectly.
"And you're touching it?"
Tal gestured towards Davrin and rolled his eyes at her. "See? Fucking told you."
"Well, I'm buyin' him." Ayla dug around in her skirts. "How much did you say Mr. Nug was again?" she asked Zea.
"I didn't. But why don't you take him off my hands for free—I think he likes you."
"REALLY?!" Ayla ran over and gave Zea a big kiss on her beautiful cheek. She had a very hard time reaching. "That's okay Zea. It's not your fault you're so damn tall."
Zea started laughing again. "Thanks."
"No need to thank me!" Ayla said. "Thank YOU sooooooo much, sugar. I promise Tal and I will take good care of him."
"I won't," Tal snapped, which was mean of him. But he'd come around. And he bent over to talk to Spoon again before turning back to Ayla. "Come on, Ise!" he shouted, even though Ayla was real close and could hear him just fine. "Spoon said he's got something else to show us!"
Ayla took a running start and Tal caught her and Mr. Nug and threw them onto his back before galloping away after Spoon.
Damn. This was the best day. She couldn't wait to tell her handsome Em about this.
He was gonna love Mr. Nug.
𐚁 Emmrich, anxiously looking after a very intoxicated, yet very adorable madwoman
"EM!! There's that handsome ass of his!"
Emmrich's face lit up, and he and Bull both laughed when Tal skidded to a halt in front of them, a very exuberant Ayla still riding upon his back.
"Careful, Ise," he said, gently lowering her to the ground.
"What have you got there, darling?" Emmrich asked, suspiciously eyeing those lovely hands of hers as she ran over to him.
"Emmmmriiiich! We saw the coolest insect!" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she helped herself to his lap again.
"Did you?" he asked, eagerly wrapping his arms around her.
"We did!" Tal nodded his head, once again at home in Iron Bull's lap on the other side of the table.
"That's nice, kadan."
Emmrich looked down at what appeared to be a rather grotesque nug statue on Ayla's—and now his—lap.
"And who's your little friend here?"
"Ohhh! This is Mr. Nug."
"Charmed."
Howdy y'all! Gently taggin' you just to say hiya. Me, Sunny, and Mr. Nug would love to see your WIPs if you got 'em! 💕
TYSM for the tags @sunny374940, @davrinsleftpectoral, @notyourmamasdeerbat, @jenn2d2, @sorcerousadventurer, @woundedsoul12 & @redaresss! Always, always enjoy seeing what y'all have cookin' 🍳💕
This snippet is from the next episode of Sunny & I's DATV x DAI Western AU! In which Dr. Volkarin gets a primer in the hottest bar game for crazy-ass saloon goers everywhere: KNARTS.
What are knarts, you ask?
...I'll let Sunny's Rook, my Inky Sylvie, and @serialsforbellara's Mrs. Gemma Dellamorte-de Riva explain. 🗡️
Ayla heard a familiar THWACK when she entered the Griffon with Emmrich, and the sound had her whipping her head towards the dart board next to the bar, her lips forming into a big ol' grin when she saw Rook, Gemma, and Sylvie all gathered around it, cheering.
She turned and looked up at Emmrich. "Wanna play knarts, Doc?"
"Knarts?" Ayla giggled at the adorably confused expression on his face. "Are you quite well, dear?" he asked, chuckling when she dragged him over with her.
Sylvie drew a careful arm back over her shoulder, the movement decisive. Practiced. Barely even breathing as she lined up her next throw, eventually sending the knife in her hands sailing through the air and into the dartboard with another satisfying THWACK.
Rook let out an impressed whistle and Gemma clapped wildly. "Another bullseye! Well done, Sylvs."
Sylvie ducked her head to give them both a modest nod, but turned to smirk at Davrin behind the bar. Ayla snickered—he'd apparently been drying a glass in his hands, but seemed frozen in place at the moment, an awed expression on his face.
"What have I told you guys about the damn knives?" he grumbled, attempting to snap himself out of it.
Sylvie rolled her eyes. "But babe! We don't miss!!"
Davrin rolled his back. "It's not the wall I'm worried about—that's the third dart board this year! Do you know how long they take to make??"
Unbothered, Sylvie sauntered over to grab her knife, tossing it into the air and catching it several times as she made her way over to him, eventually leaning over the bar to give him a smoldering kiss. "I promise I'll make it up to you," she purred against his lips.
"…Fine," he muttered, clearing his throat. Davrin caught her arm before she could slink away, pulling her back for another kiss.
"But you're painting the next one."
"Deal."
The smirk on Sylvie's face when she made her way back over was triumphant, and she winked at Ayla, who cackled loudly despite Dav's glare.
"Hey, blue eyes," Rook drawled when Ayla kissed him on the cheek. "Hey, handsome." He gave Emmrich a cheeky smirk and tipped his hat to him. Emmrich returned the gesture with a wary smile.
"Good evening." Emmrich eyed the knife in Rook's hand with raised brows. "Ms. Thorne tells me you're playing 'knarts'?"
"Yep!" Rook nodded, gesturing wildly with the blade. "Knife darts. Knarts."
"Hm. Well, I find I can't fault your logic there, Rook," Emmrich replied, snickering. "But…ah. Is it safe? What with so many people around and everything?"
Rook cracked a grin at him and shrugged. "They stay out of the way."
"I see…"
Ayla cackled before turning to Sylvie. "Can I have a go, sugar? I need to stab something."
She nodded and flipped the knife in her hand, offering it to Ayla pommel-first, moving to stand next to Emmrich when she took it readily. Gemma moved to his other side. "She's quite good you know," she murmured to him. "For a Warden."
They all snickered at her expense, then even louder when Ayla paused from lining up her throw to shoot them a glare. Once she felt like they'd been on the receiving end of it long enough, she settled her eyes back on her target. Mac Tir and his evil scalpel flashed across her mind again, and she took a deep breath, trying her damndest to imagine that the dartboard was his stupid fucking face instead, drawing her arm back and flinging the knife towards it in anger.
It hit the center of the bullseye so hard, almost a third of the blade sunk into it…definitely leaving a mark on the wall underneath.
"Dammit, Ayla!" Dav cursed at her from the bar.
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw Masterpost
🩺 Latest Episode: An Arm & A Leg
These Nugflix Exclusive Minisodes are not required viewing to enjoy the main plot of the fic! They just add a little something extra 🤌
📺 Minisodes
Tal Loses His Arm
Tal Meets Dr. Mac Tir
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In which our clueless cowboys play quite a rousing game of cards...👀
"Did you bring coin, kadan?" Bull asked.
Tal patted his pocket with a frown. "I… forgot," he sighed. "You should have brought it."
"How was I supposed to know you'd forget?"
"You've known me for fifteen years; I think it could have crossed your mind."
"I would be more than happy to lend you some funds for the game," Emmrich suggested with a very sweet smile, but Bull waved him off.
"I think some people should learn to remember to bring their own funds," he countered, giving Ayla a cheeky wink, which always looked so damn ridiculous with only one eye, but she got him immediately.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked with a grin.
"You bet," Bull hummed, grinning back.
Tal sighed, which told Ayla that his grumpy ass got it too.
"And what is it that we're all 'thinking'?" Emmrich asked, nervously looking between the three of them.
Ayla turned and laid a hand on his upper arm. "Ever played Strip Wicked Grace, Doc?"
"No, I can't say that I've had the good fortune to do so." Doc's cheekbones colored pink, and Ayla couldn't help but cackle.
"Don't you worry, sugar. I'll teach you."
Ep. 9 | Wicked Game 🃏
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS EPISODE'S GOT:
👀 A secret room reveal
🥂 Grave-mist tasting notes
💪 A strategically shirtless Bull
🫠 Longggg horny pauses
😈 AND STRIPPING! (Goodness!!!)
Y'ALL READY TO PLAY? 😏
READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & another sneak peek below!
𐚁 Ayla, annoyed that no one else seems to give a damn about cards anymore
"Proud of yourself, huh, Doc?"
"Mm, quite."
She smirked, 'cause it sure as shit looked like it. "Because of your gameplay, or because you get to watch me take off more of my clothes??"
Emmrich went red in the face, and Ayla snickered, but he surprised her when he said, "While I do enjoy cards, I would be lying if I told you it was for any reason other than that last one, darling."
Ohohohoho.
Bull let out a loud, appreciative laugh, and even Tal looked close to joining in. Ayla felt her smirk turn wicked, and she leaned over to tap him on the nose, her lips ghosting his cheek when she whispered into his ear, "Alrighty, Doc. Guess I shouldn't keep you waiting then."
She scooched off of the bed, and Tal snickered. "Oh, this'll be good." He gave Emmrich a cheeky look. "Be careful what you wish for, doctor."
Emmrich surprised Ayla yet again when he fired back a retort instead of simply getting even redder in the face.
Which he definitely did.
But he also took another sip of his grave-mist and got a mischievous look in his eyes, narrowing them at her even though he was speaking to Tal.
"Oh, I find it awfully hard to imagine I'd ever regret this."
🃏 CATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
💥 Episode 8: A Dark & Spawny Night
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Lose the clothes, kadan
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Ploppin' the usual cowboys below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
Ayla looked up towards the apothecary and bit back a laugh. Tal looked ridiculous, but stupid handsome like always. Even if he was hollerin' like an idiot. He was shirtless for some fucking reason, but still wearing his hat, and she couldn't hide the smug look on her face when she saw the bandages where his metal arm should be.
She knew his stubborn ass was hurtin'.
"I most certainly do not need to examine Ms. Thorne's…behind, Mr. Lavellan," Emmrich protested, going red in the face as he muttered, "Lovely as it may be."
🩺 READ EPISODE 6 NOW!
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 6: An Arm & A Leg
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
AKA Tal & Ayla go to the (very kind, but extremely exasperated) doctor.
THIS ONE'S GOT:
🔫 El's first shootin' lesson
☠️ Tal's stupid darkspawn alarms
👖 Ayla in PANTS
😳 A very flustered Emmrich
🪦 A Dead Wife™️reveal
👍 And unresolved trauma!
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"What? Did you forget the way or something?" Tal teased, grinning like a maniac as he began making his way back over to the general store. He was movin' awful fast, and that plus his grin told Ayla he was probably hurrying home to have some fun with Bull.
"Come now, Ms. Thorne," Emmrich said, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I'd very much like to see if you are telling the truth about those stitches of yours. If you have been taking care of them, they should be just about ready to come out."
Doc had a sexy little pair of glasses perched on his nose she'd never seen him wear before, and the stern look he was giving her over them made Ayla desperately wish she was about to have some fun with him.
"Yes, Ms. Thorne," Tal said with a smirk. "I sure hope you've been telling the doctor the truth. He's only trying to help," he said, his voice oozing with sarcasm.
Ayla rolled her eyes as she made her way over, and when she passed Tal, they both instinctively raised their middle fingers simultaneously at each other, almost making her burst out laughing if she wasn't too busy fucking glaring at him and that annoying shit-eating grin of his.
She heard Emmrich sigh all the way out on the street. But his exasperated expression shifted into a warm smile when she stepped up onto the apothecary porch.
"After you, dear." Emmrich held the door open for her with a cheeky little look on his face.
Ayla was pretty sure she was blushing, and she cursed internally because he had definitely caught her staring. "Alrighty, Doc. Promise you'll go easy on me?"
He smirked, and now Ayla was absolutely fucking sure she was blushing.
"That has yet to be determined."
Fuck.
🩺 READ EPISODE 6 NOW!
Ayla and Tal simultaneously flipping each other off (AKA, 'the drive by flip off' as Sunny & I refer to it) was brought to you by this moment from Umbrella Academy lmao. 😂
★ Featuring ★
Mr. Akela de Riva
Town saddler and upright bass player in the local jazz band: A Murder of Crows. @brightbreezeblog
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
💃 Episode 5: GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
📺 Minisodes
#9: Tal Loses His Arm
#10: Tal Meets Dr. Mac Tir
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Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
