"Come now, Mr. Lavellan—surely we can work something out, hm?"
Ayla snickered under her breath as Emmrich cooed his futile little pleas up against the storage room door. "This is all quite unnecessary, I assure you!"
She rolled her eyes. "You're wastin' your breath, Em." Ayla hopped up on a shelf and leaned back, kicking her feet and laughing again when he rolled his eyes too, ignoring her.
"My dear Mr. Lavellan, surely as a man of reason, a fellow scientist, you must—"
He was interrupted by Tal's loud, scathing laughter from the other side of the door.
"Nope!"
...good ol' Varric sings an original song...🐮
"Cows?!"
"Don't judge me until you've read the whole thing," he said, holding up his hands in protest.
Ayla rolled her eyes but did as the idiot said, snickering while she did—even more so when Emmrich read it over her shoulder and joined in.
"You know that tune 'Gals Around'?" Varric asked, humming it under his breath.
"'Course, sugar."
"Great. Well, just replace 'gals' with 'cows,' and you're halfway there."
She threw her head back against Em's chest in a loud cackle.
"Oh, this is gonna be good."
...and Emmrich makes a confession. 👀
"My darling, girl. Please forgive me." He squeezed Ayla's hand where he held it between his, and let out another long, tortured sigh.
"…There's something I must tell you."
Ep. 10 | The Dead Wife 🪦
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS EPISODE'S GOT:
🔥 Ayla doing a bit
💞 Idiots in Love
👶 A babysittin' Tal
🪦 Dead Wife Lore™️
🐮 And Varric's COW SONG
READY FOR A PINT AT THE GRIFFON? 🍺
READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & another sneak peek below!
Dedicated to Thana Ingellvar, my pal @guacamolleee's Rook, and Emmrich's tragically deceased wife. RIP, sugar. 💕
𐚁 Ayla, preparing to sing a Varric original (apparently)
Ayla gave Emmrich another lingering kiss before following Antoine up onto the stage. Varric joined them, loudly clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. And it worked…
…but not well enough.
"HEY! Y'ALL ARE GONNA WANT TO HEAR THIS ONE!" she hollered, winking at Em when he snickered.
"The fuck is she yelling about?" Tal asked, disentangling himself from Bull to join him at Edwin's table. Tally boy and Bull must have had a fun afternoon, she reckoned, given the giant grins they had on both their faces.
Ayla heard Emmrich snicker again before replying, "My dear Mr. Lavellan, I'm afraid you'll just have to find out for yourself."
Tal made a horrified expression and glanced back up at the stage, and now it was Ayla's turn to snicker as she counted them down, her fingers flying as she plucked the familiar tune on her guitar.
Then Varric downed the rest of his pint and started to sing.
Well, everything is better with some cows around
Livin' in town sometimes brings me down
Let me bestow this western blessing and share what I have found
May you always have cows around
The bar had exploded into hootin' and hollerin', but of course, Ayla didn't have eyes for really anyone else besides Emmrich, who was laughing along with Bull and staring at her with the sweetest, most adorable fucking look on his face.
C'mon you know that you got too much time on your hands
Not merely enough complication in your plans
You need to invite all the frustration that you can
May you always have cows around
Ayla finally managed to pull her attention away from her handsome doctor and gawk around, smirking at Mayor Cassandra, who had her head in her hands. But Ayla could still see her lips threatening to curl into a full-on grin beneath them. Tal looked even less enthused, honestly, about as much as Uncle El at the bar…
Ayla grimaced, recalling the lyrics she'd just skimmed in Varric's nearly impossible-to-read handwriting.
Andraste, take the reins.
🐮 CATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🃏 Episode 9: Wicked Game
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Tal x Bull: Beautiful
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Ploppin' the usual cowboys below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
TYSM for the tags @serensama & @in-the-drowning-deep!! I loved reading about our #friendwhofics Bellara and lookin' at your gorgeous gorgeous art!!
Have y’all ever wondered what it would be like if a flustered Emmrich & an adorably-in-love Iron Bull supervised a couple of chaos goblins who got high after drinking gingerwort tea?
Yes?
Well, that's awfully specific, but BOY do I have some good news for you!
@sunny374940 and I are in the process of writing an episode for our insane Cowboy AU fic where Tal & Ayla do just that. Big thanks to @redaresss' Rook, Zea for hooking them up with the tea! 😉 It's several episodes ahead, but we've damn near keeled over laughing while writing this, and we both have wayyy too little self control not to share some of it now.
Varric & Davrin make an appearance too.
So our WIP Wednesday entry is another collab, using the same unhinged writing process I explained in our last one. (We literally do not know of another way to write together lmao & I love that for us). 💕
Yes, it's a long for a WIP, but that's practically tradition now, and I couldn't bring myself to cut any of it lol. You can read it below! Especially if you want to learn how the picture Sunny sent me here factors into all of this...😂
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
𐚁 Tal, fucked up on…what in the fuck was it called again?
El's cat Spoon jumped up onto the porch and rubbed himself against Ayla's legs.
Ayla was here!
"Ise!" Tal shouted, hugging his best friend. She was so fucking tiny he almost missed, but the porch railing stopped him from falling off.
"Tally boy!" she shouted back. "Look, Spoon's here! I love him so much!"
"Hey," Spoon said.
Tal grabbed Ayla's face to make her look at Spoon. "He just talked," Tal whispered loudly.
"I heard," Ayla whispered back. "Hiya, Spoon!"
"Oh dear," the doctor said behind them, and Bull started laughing.
Bull was here!
"Vhenan!" Tal shouted and made his way over. "Spoon just talked!"
"What did he tell you?" Bull asked and let Tal sit on his lap, which was very nice of him.
"He said 'hey'," Ayla said before Tal could figure it out and walked over to them to sit on the doctor's lap. Tal was glad she found a lap for herself and he didn't have to share.
"Hiya, Doc!" she chirped, grabbing his face in her hands. "You're so handsomeeeeee! And soooooo sweet. I could eat you right up." She wiggled the doctor's head a little and Tal definitely heard him sigh. And the sigh turned into a weird strangled noise when Ayla licked his jaw. The doctor made a funny face that made him and Ise laugh.
"Isn't he handsome, Tally boy?" Ayla asked, leaning backwards to look Tal in the face.
"You're upside down," Tal giggled.
"No, you are," she said, and Tal gave it some thought.
"No, you," he said firmly.
"Nuh-uh."
"Yeah-huh."
"Nuh-uh."
Tal took a breath and found out that Bull had a hand over his mouth for some reason.
"That is quite enough, Ms. Lala," the doctor said as he pulled her back up, and Tal started laughing a lot.
"Doooooc," Ayla whined. "He's laughin' at meeeee."
The doctor laughed. "No one is laughing at you, darling."
Tal felt like things weren't adding up, but he had more important matters to worry about right now, like Bull's hand that still wasn't letting him go.
He licked his palm.
"We're laughing with ya," Bull said, wiping his hand on Tal's trousers, and that was bullshit. They were definitely laughing at her.
"I don't get ittttt!" Ayla wailed, crossing her arms and leaning into the doctor, when she suddenly started sniffing around like Bluebell did when she knew Tal was coming with sugar cubes. She grabbed the doctor's hand, kissed it, and sniffed it too and then his hat and then she put the hat on and sniffled.
"Is everything alright, my dear?" the doctor asked, producing a handkerchief to wipe her eyes. Why in the fuck was she crying?
"You smell soooooo goooood. Just like calendulas." Ayla sniffled again. "I like you a lot, you know? I like how you smell and your eyes are like honey and you're soooo handsome and it's soooo unfaaaair."
She cuddled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder and she almost looked cute like that.
If it wasn't for the hat.
The doctor wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. "This is rather nice," he said quietly.
"Not sure if I'd agree right now," Bull sighed, because he apparently minded that Tal was standing on a chair and trying to figure out how to sit on his horns. They were very wide, so he would definitely fit.
The doctor jumped like he forgot they were here too.
"What are you up to?" Varric asked, and the doctor jumped again.
"Hello, Consort," Tal shouted and tried to get a leg over Bull's shoulder. "We got fucked up on gingytwat tea!"
"I can see that," Varric laughed.
Ayla unfolded herself from the doctor's lap – not like there was a lot to unfold, since she forgot to grow up – and went to hug Varric.
"Finally someone normal sized," she sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Look at those giants!" she exclaimed, pointing at Tal and Bull and the doctor. "They're soooo taaaaalllll. I fuckin' hate it, do you know how much my neck hurts when I have to look up all the time?"
Varric laughed and patted her back. "You're so right, Cookie. They're being real inconsiderate."
"I knew you'd get meeeeee," she squealed, pinching his cheeks.
"Always," Varric chuckled. "I'm going to the Feet, you want something?"
Tal made a face and Bull and the doctor shook their heads.
"Bring me coookieeee," Ayla sing-songed, kissing his cheek. "Please?"
"Alright, a cookie for Cookie. I'll be back," Varric said, leaving them. Ayla walked back up on the porch and plopped herself onto Emmrich's lap again.
He looked really happy about that.
Tal decided to change up his approach, and tried to get a foot on Bull's shoulder, but Bull took it and gently put it back on the chair.
"You're a little too big for this, kadan," he chuckled.
"Am not," Tal said firmly. "We do this sometimes in the bedroom and you never say I'm too big then," he accused. "You like my ass on your face.
"I do, but not when you're this high."
Tal looked down on the porch planks. He was high up, that was true, so he stepped onto Bull's lap and sat down to cuddle up to him. "Better?" he asked, kissing his pretty husband's cheek.
"Emmrich," Ayla whispered. "Emmmmmriiiich. Why don't we try that too?"
"Try what, darling?" The doctor raised an eyebrow. Tal tried doing it like him, but his eyebrows weren't nearly as agile, so he kissed Bull again instead.
"Me on your horns," she said grabbing his face to stare into his eyes.
The doctor laughed. He had a fun laugh. "I don't have horns."
"Bull could let you borrow them. Right, Bull?" Ayla chirped, and Tal grabbed Bull's horn before she decided to steal it.
"Sure thing," Bull chuckled.
Tal gasped. "Vhenan! We need those!"
Bull started laughing a lot and Emmrich did too. Emmmmmriiiich. Such a fucking weird name.
"Fine," Ayla snapped and made a face at Tal, so he made one back. "I'll just sit on your face, then," she said to the doctor. "You won't mind, right, sugar?"
"I suppose I wouldn't," Emmrich said with a smirk that was almost as good as Ayla's. She squealed so loud that it nearly took Tal's ears off.
"Really? You're sooooo sweeeet!" she shouted, licking his jaw again.
Probably to check if she was right.
The doctor went very red in the face and Ayla giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his.
"Would you unstick that?" Bull suddenly asked, so Tal stopped watching those two and looked up at the prettiest person in the world.
"You're the prettiest person in all of Thedas," Tal sighed. "I have never seen anyone as pretty as you."
Bull laughed that rumbly laugh of his. It made Tal feel happy. "Thanks, kadan," he said and kissed Tal's forehead, which made him even happier. "And what about the unsticking?"
"What's stuck?"
"You are," Bull said and pointed to his horn, which had Tal's metal hand wrapped around it.
"I was worried Ise would steal it," Tal whispered.
"I would have!" Ise cackled. "But I don't need to anymore, 'cause Doc Emmmmmmriiiich Volcarnage –"
"Volkarin," Emmrich sighed. "It's Volkarin, my dear." He was still a little red about the licking.
"Volkarin!" Ayla shouted. "Thank you kindly, sugar," she said with a kiss to his cheek. "He'll let me sit on his face!"
"Good for you," Bull said, poking Tal's metal hand. Tal unstuck it, since the horns were safe now. Bull kissed his forehead again, which was really nice, and Tal rested his head on Bull's shoulder with a sigh.
Being with his husband and his friends was so nice.
Spoon jumped up on the table and bonked Tal's head with his. "Want me to show you something cool?" he asked, flicking his tail.
"Ise, he's talking to me again," Tal whispered. "Fuck yeah, I do," he said to Spoon, who hopped back down and walked out onto the street.
"Come on, then," Spoon said and started running towards the saloon.
Tal made a decision.
He jumped off Bull and pulled Ise out of Emmrich's lap. "Hop on, we're going after him," he said, helping her get on his back.
"What about Bull and Doc?" she asked as she wrapped her legs around his waist to hold on.
"They'll never catch us!" Tal shouted before taking off.
Ayla was cackling wildly and he joined in, because this was fucking awesome.
𐚁 Ayla, the most beautiful knight in all of Thedas, riding atop the most handsomest, faithfulest steed
"Yah, yah!"
Ayla kicked her bare heels into Tal's side, and he neighed and went faster just like a horse. A nice one, not like that evil fuckin' hellbeast of his. They were going so fast she could feel the wind in her hair and it tickled her face. And everything was blurry. But they had to keep up with Spoon, because he'd promised to show them something cool.
"Woahhhhh there, boy," Ayla murmured, pulling up on Tal's neck a little, since he didn't have reins for some stupid reason.
Spoon had stopped in front of the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Hah! That was fun to say.
Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon. Golden Griffon Saloon.
"Whatcha sayin' that for, Ise?"
"OH! I didn't realize that was out loud. Sorry."
"HEY," Tal started, setting her down and gently grabbing her face in his hands. "Don't you apologize to me."
"Whatever you say, Tally boy."
"Yes." Tal nodded his head and kissed the top of hers, which was very weird but super cute.
She patted his side so he'd know he did well getting her here, and he kissed the top of her head again.
Was he going to keep doing it?
Should she do it too?
But he was soooo taaaaaallllll.
Taaaaalllll Taaaaaalllll.
That was fun to say too.
"Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing, Ms. Thorne," tall Tal nodded his stupidly handsome head again, and she still couldn't reach up there. "You're so fucking tiny, though. Why?"
"Because you're so taaaalll, Taaaalll."
Tal looked like he was thinking a lot, he got all frowny and stepped closer to measure how much shorter than him she was with his hand on top of her head.
She was shorter by a damn lot.
"Alright," Tal shrugged.
"Come check this shit out," Spoon said, flicking his tail towards the Golden Griffon Saloon.
Ayla grabbed Tal's hand and they followed the cutest cat in the world. And he led them all the way to Zea.
"Zea!" she squealed. "Your hair is sooooo gorgeous. It looks like BLOOD."
"Uh…alright. Thanks?" Zea looked at the two of them with a concerned look in her beautiful lilac eyes that were right on her beautiful beautiful face. "You guys okay?"
Tal waved his hand in the air. "We're fine, Zea. That gingytwat tea we made from those gingytwats you sold me is really good, did you know? Look how fucked up we are."
Zea started laughing.
"Taaaaaaaal, she's laughin' at meeeeeeeeee," Ayla whined.
Tal stopped laughing along with Zea and glared at her instead. "Wait wait wait. Laughing at Ise is my job. You can't do that."
"No! I was laughing with her."
"Alright," Tal said, shrugging.
Ayla scrunched up her nose, because that still didn't make a fuckin' lick of sense for some reason, but it didn't even matter because Spoon had found the coolest, cutest thing. And all of a sudden there was a high pitched noise.
Oh, whoopsie. That was Ayla.
"Who is heeeeeeeee?!" she asked, kneeling down in the dirt next to Spoon in front of Spoon's friend.
Zea laughed again. "I just found him today!"
"Wow," Ayla breathed as she looked at what was definitely the most handsomest, cutest garden nug statue she'd ever ever seen.
"Fucking shit what in the fuck is that??" Tal asked.
"Don't be rude!" Ayla said, smacking him. "He's a nug, silly."
"But what is it?"
"No idea," Zea said, shrugging. "Found it in a tomb or something."
Tal stared at Mr. Nug for a loooooong time.
"Fuckin' cursed is what it is." He shuddered and made a face like he did when she danced with her pretty boob tassels. "It's got people hands."
Ohohohohohoho.
Ayla had an idea.
The very best idea, actually.
"How much for Mr. Nug?" she asked, reaching out to cradle him in her arms.
"Ise! Don't touch it! Creators, it's probably cursed or some shit."
Ayla held Mr. Nug up to Tal's face and shook him back and forth a little. "Awwwwwwwww but look at himmmmmmmm. Mr. Nug is just a widdle guy! He wouldn't curse nobody—right Mr. Nug!?"
Tal took a step back while making another face at Mr. Nug, because he was silly like that.
"What the fuck is that?"
"Davvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!!!!" Ayla jumped up and gave Davrin the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, being very careful not to squish Mr. Nug. Or to knock the big bag of peanuts off of Davrin's shoulder.
"Hey Ayla, you good?" Davrin smiled that big beautiful smile of his and he laughed his big booming laugh and Andraste's tits he was handsome. Was Davrin always this handsome?
She'd have to tell Sylvie.
"You mean 'who' the fuck is that, and the answer is Mr. Nug."
"He's cursed," Tal explained, incorrectly.
"And you're touching it?"
Tal gestured towards Davrin and rolled his eyes at her. "See? Fucking told you."
"Well, I'm buyin' him." Ayla dug around in her skirts. "How much did you say Mr. Nug was again?" she asked Zea.
"I didn't. But why don't you take him off my hands for free—I think he likes you."
"REALLY?!" Ayla ran over and gave Zea a big kiss on her beautiful cheek. She had a very hard time reaching. "That's okay Zea. It's not your fault you're so damn tall."
Zea started laughing again. "Thanks."
"No need to thank me!" Ayla said. "Thank YOU sooooooo much, sugar. I promise Tal and I will take good care of him."
"I won't," Tal snapped, which was mean of him. But he'd come around. And he bent over to talk to Spoon again before turning back to Ayla. "Come on, Ise!" he shouted, even though Ayla was real close and could hear him just fine. "Spoon said he's got something else to show us!"
Ayla took a running start and Tal caught her and Mr. Nug and threw them onto his back before galloping away after Spoon.
Damn. This was the best day. She couldn't wait to tell her handsome Em about this.
He was gonna love Mr. Nug.
𐚁 Emmrich, anxiously looking after a very intoxicated, yet very adorable madwoman
"EM!! There's that handsome ass of his!"
Emmrich's face lit up, and he and Bull both laughed when Tal skidded to a halt in front of them, a very exuberant Ayla still riding upon his back.
"Careful, Ise," he said, gently lowering her to the ground.
"What have you got there, darling?" Emmrich asked, suspiciously eyeing those lovely hands of hers as she ran over to him.
"Emmmmriiiich! We saw the coolest insect!" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she helped herself to his lap again.
"Did you?" he asked, eagerly wrapping his arms around her.
"We did!" Tal nodded his head, once again at home in Iron Bull's lap on the other side of the table.
"That's nice, kadan."
Emmrich looked down at what appeared to be a rather grotesque nug statue on Ayla's—and now his—lap.
"And who's your little friend here?"
"Ohhh! This is Mr. Nug."
"Charmed."
Howdy y'all! Gently taggin' you just to say hiya. Me, Sunny, and Mr. Nug would love to see your WIPs if you got 'em! 💕
In which our clueless cowboys play quite a rousing game of cards...👀
"Did you bring coin, kadan?" Bull asked.
Tal patted his pocket with a frown. "I… forgot," he sighed. "You should have brought it."
"How was I supposed to know you'd forget?"
"You've known me for fifteen years; I think it could have crossed your mind."
"I would be more than happy to lend you some funds for the game," Emmrich suggested with a very sweet smile, but Bull waved him off.
"I think some people should learn to remember to bring their own funds," he countered, giving Ayla a cheeky wink, which always looked so damn ridiculous with only one eye, but she got him immediately.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked with a grin.
"You bet," Bull hummed, grinning back.
Tal sighed, which told Ayla that his grumpy ass got it too.
"And what is it that we're all 'thinking'?" Emmrich asked, nervously looking between the three of them.
Ayla turned and laid a hand on his upper arm. "Ever played Strip Wicked Grace, Doc?"
"No, I can't say that I've had the good fortune to do so." Doc's cheekbones colored pink, and Ayla couldn't help but cackle.
"Don't you worry, sugar. I'll teach you."
Ep. 9 | Wicked Game 🃏
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed by @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS EPISODE'S GOT:
👀 A secret room reveal
🥂 Grave-mist tasting notes
💪 A strategically shirtless Bull
🫠 Longggg horny pauses
😈 AND STRIPPING! (Goodness!!!)
Y'ALL READY TO PLAY? 😏
READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & another sneak peek below!
𐚁 Ayla, annoyed that no one else seems to give a damn about cards anymore
"Proud of yourself, huh, Doc?"
"Mm, quite."
She smirked, 'cause it sure as shit looked like it. "Because of your gameplay, or because you get to watch me take off more of my clothes??"
Emmrich went red in the face, and Ayla snickered, but he surprised her when he said, "While I do enjoy cards, I would be lying if I told you it was for any reason other than that last one, darling."
Ohohohoho.
Bull let out a loud, appreciative laugh, and even Tal looked close to joining in. Ayla felt her smirk turn wicked, and she leaned over to tap him on the nose, her lips ghosting his cheek when she whispered into his ear, "Alrighty, Doc. Guess I shouldn't keep you waiting then."
She scooched off of the bed, and Tal snickered. "Oh, this'll be good." He gave Emmrich a cheeky look. "Be careful what you wish for, doctor."
Emmrich surprised Ayla yet again when he fired back a retort instead of simply getting even redder in the face.
Which he definitely did.
But he also took another sip of his grave-mist and got a mischievous look in his eyes, narrowing them at her even though he was speaking to Tal.
"Oh, I find it awfully hard to imagine I'd ever regret this."
🃏 CATCH THE FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
💥 Episode 8: A Dark & Spawny Night
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Lose the clothes, kadan
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Ploppin' the usual cowboys below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
Ayla looked up towards the apothecary and bit back a laugh. Tal looked ridiculous, but stupid handsome like always. Even if he was hollerin' like an idiot. He was shirtless for some fucking reason, but still wearing his hat, and she couldn't hide the smug look on her face when she saw the bandages where his metal arm should be.
She knew his stubborn ass was hurtin'.
"I most certainly do not need to examine Ms. Thorne's…behind, Mr. Lavellan," Emmrich protested, going red in the face as he muttered, "Lovely as it may be."
🩺 READ EPISODE 6 NOW!
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 6: An Arm & A Leg
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
AKA Tal & Ayla go to the (very kind, but extremely exasperated) doctor.
THIS ONE'S GOT:
🔫 El's first shootin' lesson
☠️ Tal's stupid darkspawn alarms
👖 Ayla in PANTS
😳 A very flustered Emmrich
🪦 A Dead Wife™️reveal
👍 And unresolved trauma!
READY TO NUGFLIX AND CHILL?
🩺 READ NOW ON AO3!
"What? Did you forget the way or something?" Tal teased, grinning like a maniac as he began making his way back over to the general store. He was movin' awful fast, and that plus his grin told Ayla he was probably hurrying home to have some fun with Bull.
"Come now, Ms. Thorne," Emmrich said, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I'd very much like to see if you are telling the truth about those stitches of yours. If you have been taking care of them, they should be just about ready to come out."
Doc had a sexy little pair of glasses perched on his nose she'd never seen him wear before, and the stern look he was giving her over them made Ayla desperately wish she was about to have some fun with him.
"Yes, Ms. Thorne," Tal said with a smirk. "I sure hope you've been telling the doctor the truth. He's only trying to help," he said, his voice oozing with sarcasm.
Ayla rolled her eyes as she made her way over, and when she passed Tal, they both instinctively raised their middle fingers simultaneously at each other, almost making her burst out laughing if she wasn't too busy fucking glaring at him and that annoying shit-eating grin of his.
She heard Emmrich sigh all the way out on the street. But his exasperated expression shifted into a warm smile when she stepped up onto the apothecary porch.
"After you, dear." Emmrich held the door open for her with a cheeky little look on his face.
Ayla was pretty sure she was blushing, and she cursed internally because he had definitely caught her staring. "Alrighty, Doc. Promise you'll go easy on me?"
He smirked, and now Ayla was absolutely fucking sure she was blushing.
"That has yet to be determined."
Fuck.
🩺 READ EPISODE 6 NOW!
Ayla and Tal simultaneously flipping each other off (AKA, 'the drive by flip off' as Sunny & I refer to it) was brought to you by this moment from Umbrella Academy lmao. 😂
★ Featuring ★
Mr. Akela de Riva
Town saddler and upright bass player in the local jazz band: A Murder of Crows. @brightbreezeblog
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
💃 Episode 5: GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!
📺 Minisodes
#9: Tal Loses His Arm
#10: Tal Meets Dr. Mac Tir
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
In the last episode of Nugflix's DATV x DAI Western, Ayla taught wee El how to shoot a pistol, and then everyone had A Damn Time at the doctor's.
Tal attempted to hide his terror by bitching his way through a check-up with Dr. Volkarin—unfortunately, a harrowing one for poor Mr. Lavellan, thanks to the heaps of trauma previously bestowed upon him by the not-so-dearly-departed Dr. Mac Tir.
And Ayla and Emmrich both shed a few tears during her own appointment for that stupid (Ayla's words) knife wound of hers. Over a dead mama and a dead wife, respectively.
...After Doc discovered her boob knife, of course.
But those two were looking mighty cozy at the end of last episode. Even despite Granny's cryptic warnings about Emmrich's wife. Oh yeah, and Ayla discovering he was actually a WILTF (widower she'd like to fuck).
But hey—this is good ol' Doc Volkarin we're talkin' about! Granny's probably just mistaken.
...Right?
Yeehaw Peepaw! 🤠
Episode 7: Knives Out
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS ONE'S GOT:
☕ Lucanis' Court of Crows
🍽️ A luncheon hosted by dear Mr. Iron Bull
♟️ An Emmrich vs. Bull chess match
✨ Manfred wishes at the town well
🎯 KNARTS!!
READY TO NUGFLIX & CHILL?
🗡️ READ NOW ON AO3!
Episode vibe check & sneak peek below!
EPISODE 7 VIBE CHECK
𐚁 Ayla, angry and horny as hell, cursing Doc's poor dead wife (Maker bless her), 'cause if it wasn't for her, they'd probably be kissin' already
"Well?" Emmrich asked, turning to her. "What did you wish for?"
Ayla laughed. "Doc! Don't you know? It won't come true if you tell." He rolled his eyes, but didn't press any further.
Well, at least about that.
"What if you told me what's troubling you instead, then, hm?" She opened her mouth to protest, but was met with another stern, incredibly sexy look. "No—don't try to deny it. I can tell you're not 'peachy' at all, dear."
She blew out a frustrated huff of air. "Fucking Mac Tir."
"Ah." A look of understanding crossed Emmrich's face, as did a whisper of unmistakable fury.
"That's actually what my wish was about," Ayla admitted. "It's so insane it's not like it would ever come true anyway." Emmrich raised an eyebrow at her, and she made a sheepish face.
"…I wished he'd come back to life so I could kill him all over again."
Ayla assumed he would laugh at her. Tell her she was ridiculous or something. But instead, he just nodded and gave her a sinful smile that made her guts feel like they were on fire.
"I can't say that Tal's story has made me any less regretful," he murmured, moving closer until their legs were touching. "But as for your wish—I'm a necromancer, darling. It's quite possible that could absolutely be arranged."
She threw her head back to let out a wildly loud cackle, damn near falling backwards into the well, the heat that was building in her belly—not just from her own anger, but Emmrich's—growing even more when he reached out to grab her, looping his arms around her waist and pulling her up off the edge of it and into his arms.
"...And I really must insist you find another seat."
His hands lingered on Ayla's waist while they stupidly stood there, staring at each other for just a few seconds too long until they remembered themselves...and this time, she was pretty damn sure he wasn't the only one who was blushing.
She grabbed his arm, and they started walking again. "What did you wish for, Em?"
"I shall be keeping mine a secret, I'm afraid." He gave her a sideways glance along with another sly smile.
“…As I'm very much hoping that it will come true."
🗡️ FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
★ Featuring ★
Mr. Zalan de Riva
Town barber, romance novel enthusiast, and drummer in A Murder of Crows jazz band. @blackwall-my-tiny-husband
Mrs. Gemma de Riva-Dellamorte
Wife of Lucanis Dellamorte, and butcher at Patas de Gallo (Crows Feet) AKA 'The Feet'. @serialsforbellara
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🩺 Episode 6: An Arm & A Leg
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Lose the clothes, kadan
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Taggin' the usual cowpokes below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
All things considered, the good residents of Lavendel have been having a pretty nice time so far, wouldn't you agree?
...Well, besides the occasional murder or two.
Everyone's given the new Doctor Volkarin a mighty warm welcome (for the most part). The gals over at the saloon gave everyone a nice n' sexy burlesque show, and wee El & Lenny went monster huntin' after having some of Ms. Kione's famous quesadillas. Hell, Doc and Bull even played chess last episode! CHESS!!
But you know how this sort of thing tends to go right? 'Cause it's been quiteeeeeee a while since this cozy little town's seen any real trouble.
And I reckon they're a lil' overdue.
But first? COWS.
𐚁 Mr. Tal Lavellan, checking the firebombs he absolutely did bring to the darkspawn drill, because he isn't going to be told what to do by Davrin of all people
"Didn't I tell you not to bring your damn firebombs?" Davrin grumbled.
Tal turned around to face him while hiding the one he was holding in his pocket. "I didn't bring them," Tal lied.
"Yeah, right. So what's that?" Davrin nodded towards the doctor's hands.
Which were empty.
"You must be mistaken, Mr. Mahariel," Volkarin lied cheerfully to Davrin's incredulous face. "Mr. Lavellan has simply been giving us singing lessons."
Tal rolled his eyes, but couldn't find it in him to glare too hard, since the doctor just saved him a pointless argument.
"Yeah, you know how much Tally boy loves to sing," Ayla added, pressing herself into the doctor's side and resting her head on his upper arm. Tal rolled his eyes again and closed the saddlebag in case Davrin decided to come closer.
Davrin scowled at her. "Uh-huh. And you know that there will be no post-show whiskey if you blow shit up again."
She put her free hand on her hip. "Davrin! That's mean!"
"I'll get you some, yeah?" Tal said with a smirk, offering up his metal hand, palm facing her.
"Thanks, Tally boy," she said, smirking back as she high-fived him.
"No absinthe for you either," Davrin snapped.
"I would be more than happy to buy a drink for both of you, in the unlikely event any 'shit' is blown up," Volkarin said, which startled Tal into huffing out a laugh.
"Aw, you're such a sweetheart, Doc," Ayla purred, raising herself on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek.
The doctor's face went pink, and Tal decided to direct his attention elsewhere, when suddenly, he heard a loud boom behind them, coming unmistakably from the direction of the darkspawn alarms.
Fuck.
"Tal?" Davrin threatened, giving him a very suspicious look.
"Hm?" Tal hummed nonchalantly, studying the hills. That shouldn't have gone off. There weren't darkspawn in that area, everyone was accounted for, and the fucking stupid alarm was experimental anyway, it just kept going off randomly when it got shaken enough, but what the fuck could have –
"Does the elder Mr. Mahariel often let his cows roam the plains?" the doctor asked like a fucking idiot, because fancy city types apparently had no idea what bullshit a cow on the loose could get into. Which meant that the herd approaching Tal and Ayla's alarms – that Davrin definitely didn't know about – couldn't be real.
Fucking shit.
...Eldrin would be so pissed if they murdered his stupid fucking cows.
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Episode 8: A Dark & Spawny Night
A Nugflix Original Series
Directed By @sunny374940 & @mushrooms-x-moss
THIS EPISODE'S GOT:
⚔️ A Darkspawn Drill
🐮 Mr. Lavellan trainin' a COW
🩸 Bataris, the skulking Venatori shithead
🪕 Bull on the banjo
😤 An insanely jealous Emmrich
😈 More of Ayla's harebrained schemes
👻 PLUS: Monster-huntin' El
READY TO NUGFLIX & CHILL?
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Episode vibe check & another sneak peek below!
EPISODE 8 VIBE CHECK
Tal turned to Ayla, who was staring in as much horror as he was. "I'll get the one up there," he pointed to the cliffside, "you go into the valley, yeah? Unless you want to ride with me."
Ayla glanced at Daisy and recoiled. "No, thanks, sugar," she said brightly, before hoisting up her skirts and starting to run.
Tal wasted no time running to Daisy and jumping into the saddle. "Be quick, falon," he whispered to her. "Eldrin's gonna kill us both otherwise."
He spurred her into a gallop, but the fucking cows were apparently hellbent on their own destruction, because they were headed exactly where another explosion would spook them right off the cliff.
"Assan!" Tal shouted behind himself. "A little help?"
A chirping shadow overtook him and went after those idiot animals. Tal would have to remember to bring him that druffallo jerky Davrin always groaned about. How Assan smelled after eating it was none of Tal's business; what mattered was that the cows weren't about to test a puffed-up griffon, so they changed course and decided to stampede down into the valley instead.
…Right towards Ise.
Fuck.
Eldrin's cows could go fuck themselves.
💥 FULL EPISODE ON AO3!
Looking to catch up on the latest Yeehaw Peepaw? 👀
🗡️ Episode 7: Knives Out
❤️🔥 New On NugfliXXX!
Lose the clothes, kadan
🐴 Yeehaw Peepaw! Master Post
Ploppin' the usual cowboys below to say howdy! Gentle tags as always, and absolutely no pressure to read! ILYSM!!! 🤠💕
